“We were mereellyy first-year students”

Campus Reform – The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill has removed the word “freshman” from official university documents, citing as their reason an attempt to adopt more “gender inclusive language.”  We are “committed to providing an inclusive and welcoming environment for all members of our community,” reads a statement administrators sent to Campus Reform on Monday.  The University of North Carolina  dropped the term “freshman” in an effort to adopt more “gender neutral language.”  “Consistent with that commitment, gender inclusive terms (chair; first year student; upper-level student, etc.) should be used on University Documents, websites and policies,” it continues.   A spokesperson for UNC declined to further elaborate on the university’s reasoning for implementing the language change.

I hope everybody offended by the word “freshman” has a huge celebration party in the administration building and it burns down before the firepeople can save them.  Everything that’s wrong with the world.

Such a shame shit like this gets rewarded these days.  Freshmen is such a perfect word too.  Everybody is fresh.  The chicks haven’t gained 15 pounds yet or been fucked by every guy in your frat.  The dudes haven’t developed an unhealthy alcoholism or drug habit yet.  Nobody is stressed about the job market or the real world.  Just fresh and bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for the best 4 years of their life.   Now everyone just sounds like some Harry Potter idiot on their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts class with a dickhead accent.  ”First-years.”  Fuck that.  For shame.