DETROIT (WJBK) - Witnesses say two men in the Brightmoor neighborhood were so passionate about the way they make Kool-Aid, they started arguing with each other over who does it better. Sadly, that fight took a horrifying turn when they both pulled out guns and started firing at each other. Again, this was over Kool-Aid. They didn’t hit each other, but two innocent bystanders suffered gunshot wounds in the soft drink shooting
Listen I don’t want to get into a huge Kool Aid debate or anything here since I’m over my head and out of my social class/race with this one. But let’s just be honest. Everybody knows what happened here. One bro whipped up some Fruit Punch in the kitchen because that’s obviously the type of Kool Aid everybody wants at the their party. Tropical Punch Kool Aid is to the block party what apple pie is to American white people. Just a staple. Meanwhile I’m sure this clown worked up like Strawberry Starfruit or Arctic Green Apple or one of those new whacky crazy disgusting flavors that the kids like. Thought he nailed it too. Thought he was going to put the Kool Aid game on its head and just take over the crowd. Maybe if he was extra ballsy try and slide in a little Purplesaurus Rex at the end as a hood aperitif. Nope not on the purist’s watch. Not when Tropical Punch and Lemonade and Cherry are getting mixed up in the kitchen. You keep that new age bullshit out of my face or else some innocent bystanders are getting shot 100 fucking times out of 100.