UPI- Authorities in Florida credited a language barrier with foiling a trio of armed robbers who targeted a Chinese restaurant. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office said the three masked men entered the New China eatery in Orlando a little after 9 p.m. Monday and demanded three employees hand over the money from the cash register, the Orlando Sentinel reported Tuesday. However, the employees apparently had trouble understanding the robbers. Two of the masked men pounded on the register in an attempt to open it, accidentally firing a gun in the process. Police said the attempted robbers left without any cash and hopped a retaining wall into Woodridge Apartments. A police dog led officers to a car and three men were detained, but not officially arrested.
I think by now we can start to admit that it’s China’s world and we’re all just living in it. They have all the money on Earth, all the people they could ever need, and the best drunk late night take out in the world. So while I fully acknowledge that China essentially runs shit, the optimist in me still likes to get a little bit of pleasure knowing that even though they might control everything, I can still speak English better than most of them. Well it turns out that they can’t even give me that. Apparently knowing just enough English to get by is part of their master plan too: Learn the words “chicken,” “pork,” “beef,” a few culinary modifiers and call it a day. That way they can run a successful small business, but when someone barges in and starts yelling about money and cash registers they legitimately have no idea what is going on. Probably asked them what type of rice and appetizer they wanted until the robbers realized they’d been outsmarted and tried to find a sushi bar to hold up instead.