The Lantern- A male student reported assault Tuesday after getting in a physical confrontation with another male student at Drackett Tower, which is located at 161 Curl Drive. The fight occurred after the second student made a vulgar comment about the smell of the first student’s pizza rolls, to which he responded with a vulgar comment about the smell of the second student’s Chinese food, according to an Ohio State police report. Next, student two asked student one if he was making fun of his country. Both students involved are from China, according to the police report. Student two said that student one responded with a statement that means “let’s fight” in Chinese. Student one denied the statement and said that what he said actually means “fruit” in Chinese, according to the police report. No criminal charges are being filed, but both made it clear they did not like each other.

Roommates fucking suck. That’s a fact. In the real world you normally have at least some control over the people you’ll be living in a confined space with for a year, but college isn’t the real world. It’s bizarro world. Even though four years of fake life normally results in memories (or a lack thereof) to cherish for the rest of your life, occasionally it creates an environment where shit ain’t so peaches and cream. Sticking two kids in a room with each other and expecting them to get along is one of those environments. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it results in your roommate constantly bitching about how your food smells, which can only lead to one of them accusing the other of racism even though they’re from the same country, which inevitably leads to one person thinking the other person wants to fight them when they were really trying to call them gay because every word in Chinese has four different words for everything. Classic misunderstanding.