Ohio State had a rough day in felonies yesterday. In fairness these didn’t all happen at once, just in an incredibly short span of time. But they all broke on basically the same day and it makes for a more convenient headline. Here’s a recap for anyone that wants to laugh at them:
Carlos Hyde Was Arrested For (Allegedly) Punching a Girl in the Face But Is Suspended Indefinitely, Not Kicked Off the Team
Kmarko posted about this when his punishment was still up in the air, but he hasn’t been kicked off the team just indefinitely suspended (totally different) until the school figures out what’s going on because apparently no one has any idea what the deal really is. Probably the worst (alleged) crime out of the 100 players that were arrested yesterday but he’ was also the best player to be arrested and everybody knows that those two things basically cancel each other out.
Bradley Roby Was Arrested For Fighting With Bouncers
Bradley got kicked out of a bar, tried to get back in and when he was denied admission he figured that punching a bouncer in the chest was the best way to solve the problem. It wasn’t, he was restrained by the other five guys whose only job is to make sure drunk people don’t cause trouble in the bar and the cops arrested him for battery. As of right now he’s been banned from Big 10 media day. Hopefully he’ll became to recover from such a tragic loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with Bradley in these tough times.
Five Star Recruit Vonn Bell Was Arrested For Underage Drinking
Vonn has not yet played a snap for Ohio State. He was in a car with an open container and I guess police in Tennessee having nothing better to do than arrest underage kids that happen to be near an open container. Vonn is probably happier about all the other arrests than anyone else in the entire world, because he’s its just minor enough to almost flyer under the radar and he’s good enough to avoid any real punishment. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the next kid.
Timothy Gardner Was Arrested for Obstruction
Timothy obstructed justice somehow and will not be playing for the Ohio State Buckeyes in the upcoming season. I guess getting in the way of police officers is a no-no but (allegedly) punching one of their daughters in the face isn’t as bad. Good to know Urban Meyer has his priorities in order. Thankfully he was/is only a three star recruit though so at least Urban can act like he’s big on discipline without actually suffering any consequences from his actions. And speaking of Coach…
Roughly 1 Billion Athletes to Play Under Urban Meyer Have Been Arrested
There’s been something like nine arrests since Urban showed up in Columbus. One third of the players on Florida’s 2008 team have been arrested. I honestly think the Manson Family has a smaller percentage of their members end up in jail. I’m not saying he’s responsible for all of this, just that when he shows up to coach a team all their players suddenly end up getting thrown in the back of police cruisers on an almost nightly basis. Definitely not related at all.