BBC News- Low-fat preparations of chocolate are well known, but their textures tend not to match the real thing. A report at an American Chemical Society meeting described a method using the popular gelling agent agar to make tiny “sponges” that displace fat. University of Warwick researchers said water, fruit juice or even alcohol could replace up to half the fat. When used with alcohol, Stefan Bon said they were like “tiny vodka jellies”. What has held up such chemistry is making what is known as an emulsion – a thorough blend of materials that do not tend to mix, such as oil and water. Normal chocolate gets much of its velvety feel from an emulsion of fat globules suspended within the solid. Replacing those is tricky – any substitutes have to remain dispersed throughout the chocolate as it is heated and cooled to a solid, and they have to remain small. That solution required that the liquid be slightly acidic, so the team used fruit juices.”Then some people – especially in the UK – said: ‘but can we do alcohol?’”So you can stick to your fruit juice if you want, but you can also make a vodka-based chocolate bar, which is exciting – obviously not very healthy, but exciting,” Dr Bon said.
There’s nothing like college to really make you appreciate how much science sucks. I fully admit that most of the reason I hate it is because I suck at it, but regardless, anyone who has spent a semester trying to decipher what an Indian grad student is trying to say about cell division or gone anywhere on campus while biochem classes are preparing for their midterm knows that everyone affiliated with the subject is a little bit insufferable in one way or another. I’m convinced there has to be a correlation between being a science major and having a ball gag and gimp suit tucked away in a bin underneath your bed, because the people that choose to follow that path are some of the most masochistic motherfuckers out there. But if nerds can keep coming up with shit like this maybe I’ll start to change my tune. I reread the article four times and still don’t know exactly how it works, but I really don’t give a shit because as far as I can tell it means we now have the technology to start filling everything with alcohol. That’s how we know the future is finally here. You’re growing on me science. Now all I need is some nougat that makes your dick bigger or caramel that cures a hangover and maybe you’ll get me to admit that the Big Bang Theory is really only the second worst show on TV.