ESPN- A report commissioned by Joe Paterno’s family claims the July 2012 Freeh report that was accepted by Penn State trustees before unprecedented sanctions were levied by the NCAA against the school’s football program is a “failure” and was loaded with errors, personal opinions, disputed allegations and bias. The Paterno family reportstates that while former FBI director Louis J. Freeh has had an honorable past and a good reputation, his investigation — especially as it relates to Paterno — relied on “rank speculation,” “innuendo” and “subjective opinions” when it concluded that Paterno concealed facts about Sandusky in part to avoid bad publicity. Freeh was hired on Nov. 21, 2011, and was paid $6.5 million by Penn State University trustees — who fired Paterno after 46 years as head coach — to conduct the inquiry. Freeh said his team interviewed more than 430 people and reviewed more than 3 million documents to prepare the 267-page report. The family’s report attacks Freeh’s conclusions, assertions, methodology, investigative abilities and choices, disclosures and independence. The Paterno family report focuses mostly on Paterno but also states that some Freeh conclusions about Spanier, Schultz, and Curley were misguided. As to whether the Paternos are considering filing a lawsuit against Penn State, the Freeh group and/or the NCAA, he said it was “too early to tell” and that, “We’re evaluating all the legal options at this stage of the game.”

 

Part of me doesn’t even want to address this because as far as everyone in the world was concerned this story was over, plus I’m pretty sure the only way Jay Paterno can reach orgasm is seeing his name in print and I don’t want to feel like a whore. But unless it turns out that the Pope was somehow involved in it this will probably be the last time the Sandusky story will make headlines, so this seems like the perfect chance to give a closing argument showing just how delusional the pro-Paterno crowd really is.

It seems like every single thing related to this case is about 250 pages longer than anyone wants to read, including the articles that supposedly summarize them, but there are a few key points the Paternos claim invalidate the Freeh Report that are almost impressively ignorant. For one, the family claims there is “no evidence exists that Paterno concealed critical information about Sandusky,” which makes me wonder if anyone bothered to look up the definition of “critical” or “information” before publishing this. Unless it turns out that the child rape story was actually a ploy to make sure that no one found out the real truth (Sandusky was actually a lizard person sent to anally probe the Earth’s youth, and if that was the case, well played by Joe) it’s indisputable that Paterno told no important people anything when it mattered most.

The second point of contention (and my personal favorite), is “The Freeh report is “uniformly biased” against Paterno,” because a $6.5 million inquiry funded by the very school it is investigating is definitely going to be more biased and inaccurate than the report funded by the family trying to save face. And how can we forget ” One major flaw in the Freeh report is that it does not follow a typical standard of courtroom examinations and independent investigations — the consideration of a person’s lifetime record of ‘moral conduct and altruism,’ ” because everyone knows that being nice to some people totally cancels out other occasions where you literally let others get fucked in the ass.

If we’re going by this logic then Sandusky wasn’t really a bad guy either, because let’s not forget if it wasn’t for the charity that he founded for inner city youth he wouldn’t have even had a chance to molest all those kids in the first place.  Was the Freeh Report perfect? Probably not. But as far as I can tell the Paterno rebuttal is the equivalent of saying you’re right about 9/11 being an inside job because the other side made a spelling mistake in their argument.