Last official College Football Roundup of the season, so as awesome as Saturday was, the aftermath is me feeling like Urban Meyer eating Papa John’s alone on a golf cart x 1,000,000

 

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Poor Urban just dealing with the inner turmoil of falling short after spending all his time talking about how unfair it would be if OSU didn’t make the championship game instead of, you know, coaching them for the B1G Championship.

 

Oops!

 

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East Lansing handled the win well at least which is to be expected.

 

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Icing on top of the cake had to be Archie Griffin being the one to present the MSU QB with the MVP afterwards.  Nobody planned for this contingency?

 

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This guy couldn’t believe Urban went Papa John’s over Dominos either.


Baylor bros got so jiggy. Almost too jiggy.


Red Lighting AKA Conch, #ConchsDoConchThings

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Don’t just want this shirt, got to have this shirt or my wardrobe is pure shit.

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And here’s the play you’ll see leading off Jameis’s Heisman package in New York.  Probably was yelling “Heisman Mothafuckas!” as he soared through the air.

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Wasn’t just big time plays and wins going on Saturday, lot of weird and funny shit too so let’s dive into it.

 

Sneaky my favorite under the radar gif of the weekend.  Baylor bro just doing the god damn thing air-eating bitches out.  Can’t stop watching.

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OSU coach, he’s a spitter.

SPIT

 

 

The much ballyhooed return of the ESPN PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS sign.  Somewhere, someplace an ESPN sign nazi’s head just exploded and brains splattered all over hundreds of confiscated Viva La Stool signs.

 

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Frankly you just can’t dominate the stands more than Pom Pom Man dominated the stands.   Nameless, faceless, bodiless.  Just pure fandom and pom poms.

 

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Quick update, Mizzou’s offensive line still looks like a criminal gang of moonshine bootleggers that drive pickup trucks loaded with unregistered rifles.

 

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Auburn just making a big time statement Saturday.  We deserve the National Title, and if you don’t think so we will throw you into a cart after the whistle as our jacked male cheerleader watches on.

 

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Pretty solid D.  Urban must have been busy daydreaming about his pizza toppings at this point.

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BURNNNN CITY!

 

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Problem is every Stanford player was born like 6 years after that movie came out and probably have no idea what you’re talking about and think it’s just a horrible joke.

 

 

Toomer’s Corner going Ham after the win.  Heads on a swivel for Updyke lurking with a gasoline jug full of poison.

 

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And who could forget about Brooks?  Fucking Brooks making a mockery of manhood up there.

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I don’t care if that’s good strategy, not worth it if you physically lose your nutsack in the process.  I’d stand there and throw the tightest hardest spiral I’ve ever thrown and just try to knock the fucking can over.  That’s what being a man is all about.

 

This guy just watched Brooks performance VVVV

 

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Oh back on the Baylor crowd again.  Place is like a goldmine for fucking weirdos.

 

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OSU fans just pelting Oklahoma with snowballs after their big time miracle win.  Probably all had under 57.  No word on which Oregon football players were involved.

 

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Head = not on a swivel.  Thank god this happened or Marshall/Rice would never make the Stool.

 

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No better way to celebrate than a championship belt.  Everybody knows that.

 

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Hey Texas snuck a highlight in there.  Good for them.  Bye Mack!

 

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Cool shot of the Baylor locker room after the win.

 

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And a cool, literally, shot of the monster crowd at SMU/UCF.

 

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Fake Oklahoma field goal literally stunned the crowd.  Poor androgynous person just plain Stupefy’d.  Yes I just dropped a Harry Potter reference on your head.

 

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Excuse me!

 

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And that’ll do it.  Take us out Red Lightning!