Fox Detroit- It was costume day last week at Utica High School and school officials had an issue with one of the student’s outfits. “It was Halloween, actually,” said Steven Werner, who wouldn’t let reporters speak with his daughter, instead telling the story himself. The costume included a black skirt and knee-high black stockings with pink bows. Werner says his daughter was called into the Principal Janet Jones’ office. “She said to my daughter, ‘Honey, you look like a porn star.’ My daughter said, ‘What do you mean a porn star?’ She goes, ‘You know, a porn star. You know what those people do?’ My daughter said ‘no.’ So she elaborated to my daughter what a porn star was and what they do for a living.” Upset after hearing the story, Werner contacted Jones regarding the incident. “She did admit to everything,” said Werner. “She did say that all men watch porn and it’s a fact of life and I should get real.” Werner’s 15-year-old daughter was not sent home over the costume. Instead, she was ordered to turn the bows on her stockings around. To send a message, Werner designed a rolling billboard on his hauling trailer. The billboard reads: “Mrs. Jones taught my daughter about PORN. “All men watch porn.”

I can totally understand where the dad in this story is coming from. He screwed up and had a daughter, so he spent the last 15 years trying to protect her from evil things like the pornography and talking to people. So part of me was willing to forget the fact that the principal was 100% right about every guy watching porn and how utterly absurd it is that a 15 year old in a public high school had never even heard of the concept until I saw the costume she wore to school:

Maybe Steven Werner should be less worried about the principal teaching his daughter what a porn star is and more concerned about the fact that his 15 year old daughter probably looked like a porn star. I’ve seen the adult blockbuster Pirates and can say with certainty that this is more revealing than some of the outfits in that movie. Does he think his daughter wore that costume to school because she thought that a pink and black frilled skirt with stockings was the most accurate historical representation of a pirate? I guess we can only hope that he keeps sheltering her from reality, because everybody know that girls with daddy issues would never dream of doing porn.