Yahoo-The U.S. economy may be on the mend, but that hasn’t stopped it from influencing a generation in an unexpected way: For the first time ever, an annual survey of college freshman has found that first-year students are more focused on their job prospects than their party plans. According to the “2012 Freshman Norms report,” conducted by UCLA’s Cooperative Institutional Research Program (CIRP) each year since 1966, only 33 percent of college freshman reported drinking beer in 2012, down from 35.4 percent in 2011 and far lower than the 73.7 percent who were knocking back drinks in 1982, when many of their own parents were in college. Alcohol industry experts said that they’re happy about the change. “While we recognize there is more work to be done to eliminate underage drinking, today we have a record number of college freshmen who are making the right choices about drinking,” Joe McClain, president of the Beer Institute, said in a statement. But, in spite of the fact that they’re drinking and partying less than before, college freshmen are still as stressed out as ever—especially young women. About 40 percent of incoming female students reported feeling “frequently overwhelmed,” more than twice the number of male students (18.3 percent) who said they felt that way.
What the fuck Class of 2016? I’m not one to make fun of underclassmen just for being underclassmen, but are you really going to try and act like you’re college kids when only 33 percent of you have tried a beer? This must be exactly how my parents feel when I tell them I’m still writing for “that website”- I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. I get that people go to college to get a better job. I really do. I was in the same boat four years ago when I was a potential political science/economic double major who was to ready to tear Washington a new asshole. Then I started drinking and realized that you don’t go to college to learn shit, you go to college to get a piece of paper that make people think you did. That’s why my classes now are made up almost entirely of athletes and have to do with communication. These four to five years are for making mistakes that people have to tell you about, and you can’t do that without a little bit of alcoholism. Sure, you can get some honor with “cum” in it’s name and have a cool sash at graduation, but it’s really now worth the effort when the kid who spent the last four years drinking, blogging and jerking off will be right behind you getting basically the same degree? Might as well just give up now.
PS- What is this bullshit with the head of a place called “The Beer Institute” acting like he’s glad about these statistics? I get that underage drinking is illegal but you don’t have to act like you’re happy about it. It should be mandatory that places like that have a charismatic Southern lawyer that people love to hate as the face of the franchise.