It’s that time of year again. Time to start recuperating from another 3 month bender on the Blackout Tour. Time to make deposits at the Spank Bank of smokeshows getting grimy on stage. And time to piece together where the best 10 shows of the fall were. Here’s what we got. If your school didn’t make the cut, don’t blame us. We’ve got this power ranking system down to a science. Just email firstname.lastname@example.org, say you want another shot at the crown, and be ready to bring it harder in the Spring.
10. Pittsburgh – Pitt brought the heat in a big way. It was a party so wild that the Rooneys, owners of the Steelers and the venue of the show, said it was too out of control. Yup, people who let Ben Roethlisberger under center every week said our party wasn’t a good representation of their wholesome values.
9. Marist – Marist is fucking bananas. We knew that after last year when the venue told us we weren’t allowed to play certain songs because they thought the kids might literally bring the building down. Turns out when you add foam to a group like that the results are bananas.
8. Providence – What can you say about Providence that hasn’t already been said? It’s a lawless city hosting a lawless show and both sides came through in a huge way.
7. Trenton – Jersey practically invented EDM and fist pumping. At the very least they took it mainstream. So blacking out in Trenton is like playing playground ball with Jordan in his prime. They’re so good that you can’t keep up, but it’s nice just to be there so you can tell your grandkids about it.
6. Atlantic City/Stockton – Let’s just say that if it weren’t for Hurricane Sandy the Barstool Blackout would have been the most destructive thing to happen to the Jersey Shore this year. Absolute mayhem the entire time. So crazy I couldn’t even handle the pregame.
5. Philly – Maybe our surprise show of the year. Didn’t really know what to expect from Philly but once that Foam started flowing everyone there knew it was going down and going down hard. PS Round 2 on February 9th. Tickets on Sale Wednesday at Noon.
4. Hartford – UConn gets excited about 2 things: basketball and Blackouts. Put a Blackout in the XL Center and have basketball players asking if they can dance on stage? Well, that’s how you get the state of Connecticut worked into a fucking frenzy.
3. Miami U– 3 consecutive sold out shows at the the best college bar in the country. I’m pretty sure campus is still recovering. I know we are.
2. Worcester – Our Backyard Bash. In life there are few certainties. Death, taxes and Worcester will bring the noise are pretty much all you can count on. Yeah Pres and I got kicked out of our hotel after the show but even that couldn’t put a damper on a night where 6,000 stoolies raged in the foam.
1. ESU – Small school, HUGE thirst. Safe to say nobody does it like ESU does. They’re insane. They’re like the freaky girl you used to have sex with only 1000% freakier. Every time they bring it harder and faster and want more. It’s unconscionable. Ain’t no party like an East Stroudsburg party cuz an East Stroudsburg party don’t stop.
PS. Alert the National Guard because Friday, February 15th the fckin foam returns to ESU. Tickets go on sale Thursday at Noon.
Notable: Last years champs Coastal Carolina went nuts even with half the school home for thanksgiving break but you can’t place if you don’t sell out. Rules are rules. Maybe they can wrestle the belt back this spring.