Sunshine Coast Daily- The suggestion would be considered unbelievable – if it involved anyone other than Clive Palmer. The controversial billionaire is rumoured to be planning to clone a dinosaur from DNA so he can set it free in a Jurassic Park-style area at his new Palmer Resort in Coolum. Mr Palmer has, apparently, been in deep discussion with the people who successfully cloned Dolly the sheep to bring his dinosaur vision to life. If Mr Palmer can resurrect the Titanic, what is to stop him from trying with another of his other alleged passions – dinosaurs? This is just one of the rumours circulating about Mr Palmer’s plans for Coolum. And while the concept sounds like a joke, it apparently comes from a source close to Mr Palmer’s inner circle. It was the same source who provided the Daily with an exclusive peek at Mr Palmer’s plans to build towering hotels at the Palmer Resort with a 20-storey sky needle and a giant, London Eye-style ferris wheel. Mr Palmer has not commented on this vision yet. Sunshine Coast Mayor Mark Jamieson has said Mr Palmer was very serious about the plans. It is also understood Mr Palmer intends to target the Middle East market for his resort. Mr Palmer declined to answer questions relating to the dinosaur rumours and the Middle East.
People are obviously going to revolt against this because they think seeing Jurassic Park makes them experts in the field of dinosaur amusement parks. It doesn’t; seeing Jurassic Park 20 times makes you an expert, and that’s why I’m qualified to say that it’s about fucking time someone decided to make the dreams of the 1990s into the reality of the new millennium. I can understand why people would be hesitant. An eccentric billionaire wants to clone dinosaurs and the next thing you know it’s World War III because a Saudi prince got eaten by a velociraptor. A lot of people are quick to blame John Hammond for Jurassic Park going to shit, but they forget that deep down he was just senile old man who wanted to play with dinosaurs. Sure, he was the main source of funding for the island, but it was his advisers that really fucked him over in the end. The root of the problem is that someone trusted the psychiatrist from Law and Order: SVU to clone dinosaurs even though he didn’t understand the basic concepts of frog biology, and on top of that Newman was in charge of IT even though Samuel L. Jackson was obviously the more qualified candidate because InGen hated minorities. You take out the minor institutional errors and the worst thing that happens in the movie is the lack of dinosaurs on the dinosaur tour. Let’s do this shit, Clive. Don’t let me down.