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DraftKings $60K Fantasy British Open Contest Is Live

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Jul 161:50PM EST

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CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

 

First thing I did after clicking Enter:

 

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Game set match bitches.  Pay me the money.

 

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Contest Details:


-$60,000 Fantasy British Open Contest
-$60K prize pool, $10,000 first place prize
-$20 Buy-in, Top 675 places paid out

 

 

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER

Miss Moscow 2014 Winner Getting Bullied On Social Media For Being Too Ugly

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Jul 161:30PM EST

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Independent - Published 16/07/2014| – The newly crowned Miss Moscow has been faced with accusations of rigging after being branded ‘too ugly’ to have won the title.

Irina Alexeyeva (18), a ballerina, won the coveted beauty title last week night and has received cruel backlash on social media over her appearance.  She has been subjected to callous taunts about her appearance and many have also compared her to Eurovision winner Conchita Wurst.

Despite her tall and slender appearance, ballet background and her fine arts studies at the Moscow College of Fine Arts, many social media users have been ‘ugly-shaming’ her.

Head judge Alex Ovechkin defended their decision, saying that Alexeyeva was the front runner for the title from the beginning.

“In my opinion everything went very well, very lovely,” he said.  “For us, the judges on the panel, it was one hundred percent clear who the winner was.”

 

 

 

 

No way Putin could have approved this.  No chance.  Just saying, if you find some of these judges in backalleys or washing up on shore missing digits and limbs don’t be surprised. And yes that includes Ovechkin.   Yet another failure for Ovi to add to his resume of shitting the bed when the bright lights come on on the big stage.

And for the record this chick Alexeyeva can cool it with the “ugly shaming” talk.  Give me a break.  If you’re gonna go up on stage to compete for the crown and fame and glory of an attractiveness contest you better be able to deal with some negative comments about your looks.  Not everything is “shaming” these days, sometimes people just think you’re ugly.

Nicki Minaj – No Flex Zone (Remix)

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Jul 161:10PM EST
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Oh we in the Nicki zone alright. The barb continues her onslaught and stunts on all the haters in her new remix of Rae Sremmurd’s viral hit “No Flex Zone.”

USC To Play Alabama At Cowboys Stadium To Kick Off 2016 College Football Season

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Jul 1612:41PM EST

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After months of speculation about a potentially huge game between Alabama and USC, the two teams announced this morning that they’ll play to kick off the season in 2016.

The neutral site game will take place at Cowboys (AT&T, whatever) Stadium on September 3, 2016, Labor Day weekend. It’s the first time USC and Alabama will have played, barring some bowl matchup in the next couple years, since 1985.

 

 

It’s absolutely ridiculous to be this excited about a game more than two years away but it’s been brutal being a USC fan since Reggie Bush’s family decided to play the Showcase Showdown for free houses with every dirtbag agent in the greater Southern California area and Lane Kiffin realized he was Lane Kiffin.

But that’s the past, we’re back in the national conversation now, even have all our scholarships like a real football team. And hopefully by the time the game rolls around in two years, Nick Saban will be 70, senile, and a bunch of bros with boat shoes and bowl cuts will have to awkwardly ignore it all like Penn State fans did with Joe Paterno for about a decade.

 

CUE THE SONG GIRLS!

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Man Burns Down House Trying To Kill Spider With A Lighter And Can Of Spray Paint

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Jul 1611:42AM EST

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SEATTLE Last Updated: Jul 16, 2014 – Fire officials say a West Seattle man was using a lighter and a can of spray paint to kill a spider in his laundry room when the house went up in flames.

Firefighters originally battled the blaze from a distance after learning there may be ammunition inside. Crews were eventually able to extinguish the fire, but not before it did significant damage to the structure.

A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn’t able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

The building, which is a rental home, will cost roughly $40,000 to repair, Moore said. It will cost another $20,000 to repair or replace the contents of the home.

It’s unclear if the spider survived.

 

 

 

First of all no this story is not a repeat.  It would appear that we have some sort of epidemic with people burning down their houses trying to kill spiders with obscene amounts of fire.  Honestly not sure when exactly a tissue or a shoe stopped doing the job and spiders suddenly required 1 billion farenheits of heat to be killed?  I mean whose first instinct when seeing a spider crawling along the wall is to grab a Zippo and can of spray paint and just start blasting every surface of the house?   Are we absolutely positive this isn’t in Florida?

 

Seriously guy, if you’re that scared of spiders just go with the obvious solution like this guy did and get it tattooed across your face.

 

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Boom, problem solved, home infrastructure still in tact.

The New ‘Gotham’ Batman TV Show Looks Like The Best Thing FOX Has Done In Years

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Jul 1611:10AM EST

Uproxx – Fox premiered a second trailer for their Batman prequel series, Gotham, during last night’s MLB All-Star Game, along with a new picture, both of them titled “The Good. The Evil. The Beginning.” Check out the video above to see Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie) and Harvey Bullock (Donal Logue) cross police lines to view a crime scene (possibly that crime scene), where the forensic scientist who becomes The Riddler (Cory Michael Smith) is already taking notes in a memo book filled with question mark doodles. Subtle.

In between Derek Jeter receiving blowjobs from representatives of the National and American Leagues, FOX rolled out the first real trailer for its new show, Gotham, that’s a prequel to everything in the Batman universe.

I’m all in on anything Batman — probably just a sucker for an inspirational story about a kid’s parents being gunned down an alleyway — but this looks even better than any expectations you’d have for them trying to cash in on an existing franchise.

 

 

More importantly, with Benjamin McKenzie playing soon-to-be Commissioner Gordon, this is the first time the original bad boy of Newport Beach is back on FOX. If he’s not knocking out at least one dude with a Puka shell necklace out by episode 5 of Gotham, I rescind any and all compliments.

 

 

Also BIG TIME wasted opportunity to bring back Rachel Bilson as some sort of sluttysexy villain chick of some sort. OC crew, ride or die.

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I’m willing to accept Mischa Barton playing a heroin overdosed corpse, too. Work with me, FOX.

Rate Johnny Manziel’s First Official Cleveland Commercial

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Jul 1610:40AM EST

 

 

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (120 votes, average: 4.57 out of 5)
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Love it.  Great start to the career.  Cleveland Nissan today.  Nike + Gatorade + Pepsi tomorrow.  Taking over the world.  Plus did you see that throw?

 

 

 

What’s up fuckboy Hoyer?

 

 

Meanwhile back at Manziel’s old stomping grounds….

 

Kevin Sumlin is so fucking sick of Johnny Football.

 

 


h/t Casey

Austrailian Man Mortgages His House So He Could Spend $45K On Micropenis Surgery

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Jul 169:55AM EST

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Daily Mail - An Australian man mortgaged his house so he could spend $45,000 to try and extend the length of his ‘micropenis’ – and he is set to spend a further $68,000.

In 2012, Mike (not his real name) spent $45,000 on a failed surgery to try and increase the length and width of his appendage, reported Nine News. However Mike said he failed to see significant improvement because a ligament regrafted itself onto a dermal fat graft and he is still yet to have post-surgery intercourse.

‘My penis is basically infant sized. Pre-surgery, I was two to three centimetres flaccid and I’m now four centimetres. My erection is probably around seven centimetres,’ he told Ninemsn.

About 90 per cent of Australian men have penis size within the range of 14.5 and 17.5 centimetres, while the average erect penis is 16 centimeters long. Unhappy with the results, Mike is planning a second surgery worth $18,000 and possibly a third, more serious surgery, worth about $50,000 and needing general anesthetic.

If he goes through with both surgeries, Mike will have spent more than $100,000 on trying to increase his penis size.

Despite being healthy and fit, Mike said his micropenis has had devastating impacts – affecting his sex life, confidence, friendships, interaction with others and even led to him being bullied at school, depression and low self-esteem.

 

 

 

 

“His micropenis has given him low self-esteem.”  -  Biggest understatement in the history of the world?   I mean you just don’t let the words “I have an infant sized penis” come out of your mouth without being the most depressed motherfucker on the planet.  That’s just a given.  4 centimeter dick = suicide city.  That’s why I got absolutely no problem with this plan of action.    Mortgage the house, empty the kid’s college funds, sell everything you own on eBay.  Fuck it, start being a professional hitman on Craigslist if it pays the bills.  Start selling drugs and pills all over the god damn country.  Whatever it takes.   All I know is a little baby micropenis in your pants is worth doing literally anything necessary to fix it and that list starts with mortgaging your place.

No All Star Game, No Problem…Justin Verlander Vacationing In Mexico With Kate Upton In A Tiny Bikini

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Jul 169:30AM EST

 

(via Imgur)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wainwright starts the All Star game, immediately gets rocked and is thrust into a controversy about grooving pitches.  Verlander tans on a remote beach in Mexico watching Kate Upton’s bikini top desperately try to do its job to no avail.  Maybe the winners aren’t always as clear cut as you think.

 

 

 

PS – Not sure I’ve ever seen so much boob from so many angles without actually seeing the entire boob itself.  God bless swimwear.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Gabbi from Michigan State

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Jul 169:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Gabbi from MSU.  Sparty in the house.