The Daily Dot – One survey concludes that one in four teenagers has admitted to sending or receiving a sexually explicit text at some point in their lives.
With this statistic and the teenage proclivity toward ephemeral messaging in mind, the Child Exploitation Unit of the Ontario Provincial Police has created a fun and hip app to try to deter the youth of Canada from sexting. It’s called Send This Instead, and basically it’s like the police department’s version of McGruff the Crime Dog, except instead of trying to persuade you not to take a bite out of crime, it wants you to not send people pictures of your privates.
According to a press release from the Ontario Provincial Police, Send This Instead is a free app that provides a “novel and witty way to say ‘No!’” to sexting. Here’s how it works: If you receive a text requesting a naughty photo, you can use Send This Instead to respond with “digital posters of humorous and sarcastic retorts” in lieu of nude photos.
Vintage Canadian move. Need to ruin one of technology’s most fun innovations in the lamest way possible? Get Canada on the horn, they’ll bang something out real fast. The app also ignores the basic fact that no one who would use this would ever actually send a nude photo. You think the hot sorority girls of the University of Guelph (that’s a Canadian school right? I feel like it is. Also Canada has sororities right? I’m just realizing I know nothing about Canada) are browsing the App Store looking for funny ways to tell guys they’re not sending some OB-GYN candids? NO. They’re taking off their parka, slathering themselves in moose fat, and going to work like a good Canadian woman should. Most out of touch move by the Mounties since they thought they could come to this country and take the cherished monuments to Americanness that are the WWF tag team titles.
Of course, this wouldn’t be a Barstool investigative report without me downloading the Send This Instead app to peruse their selection of “humorous and sarcastic retorts” and, obviously, they deliver the comedy and social responsibility promised in spades.
So tying up emergency lines is a lower level crime than asking a girl you’re dating for a flash of nip? Sorry person getting robbed outside Arby’s, Becky from Wayne Gretzky High has areolas like pizza trays and doesn’t feel comfortable sending nudes so she sent a picture saying he should talk to 911 instead. Our bad.
You’re naked, cow, you get no say in this. Hypocrite cows trying to tell me what’s up, get that shit out of here.
There’s a man from Nantucket who is rolling in his grave right now. Died of severe brain bleeding after trying to have stick his dick in his own ear. Tragic story.
This one is just factually accurate and hurtful. Silly pictures are supposed to bring us together but they’re TEARING US APART.
Where I come from eskimoing refers to two men ejaculating into the same woman and sharing a kinship based upon that. You’re sending a mixed message here, app.
This is just a poor reflection on you, girls. If you’re putting yourself in a situation in which an entire family is asking you for nude photos, I’m comfortable saying it’s entirely your fault. Unless you’re just holding out until Grandpa figures out how to send dick pics from his 2003 Razr, in which case I salute you and your commitment to the old balls game.
Boy, really pushing the jail angle, huh? Nothing says young teenage love quite like a girl implying that you deserve to lose your freedom because you like her and meekly requested a sexy photo. Is Canada having a Chinesesque problem with population control and they’re just trying to lock their young women into spinsterhood? Only way I’m buying this as a legitimate idea from anyone with a brain.
You couldn’t even use your phone with this anti-virus software. Terrible business strategy.
For an app focused on defending young women’s rights, they’re really coming in hot with the implication that any guy asking for sexts is going to go to jail and get violently raped. And frankly I doubt there are many men named “Happiness” in jail, let alone ones committing sexual assault. We call it research here in America, Canadians. Learn it.
If some girl sent me any of these photos, I’d probably be more interested in hooking up with her dad anyway. At least he knows how to satisfy a man. Strong hands. Experience. Gee thanks, app, I started trying to get beav shots from a girl in my science class and now I’m gay. Way to go.
Now that we’ve established sexting and selfies and dating a Canadian girl are all terrible, here are some examples of selfies so you know what to avoid on your phone. Never have a girl send you one of these. Never. You’d regret it forever.