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Ad For A New Company That Sells Men Into Slavery Takes You Into The Weekend
Jul 255:30PM EST


Someone just sent me this video with a link to the website and the IM “found you a new job” which is perfect because, if you listen to the sports bloggers chirping on Twitter, there’s like a 70% the Internet will force Barstool to close forever because our founder said beating women is bad and made a dodgy joke back in 2010.





Have a good weekend, everyone. If you need me, I’ll be fluffing up and getting ready for my new gig at just in case.




Barstool U Friday Smokeshow – Cameron from Arkansas
Jul 255:00PM EST



Introducing Cameron from Arkansas.  Nobody sends you into the weekend like a Barstool U smokeshow.  Have a good one!



Southern Swim Solo Series – L*Space Swimwear – Cameron from Southern Swim on Vimeo.

UCSB Kappa Kappa Gamma Is Hammering Bikinis Like Only The West Coast Can
Jul 254:30PM EST












Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool?  Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to and we’ll feature it some point during the week. 







































West Coast schools, step your game up. UCSB Kappa Kappa Gamma put you all on notice. Get the coed on coed volleyball game going now.

Chicks Are Showing Their Support For Israel By Getting Naked And Writing ‘IDF’ On Their Bodies
Jul 254:05PM EST

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Buzzfeed – In the midst of a bloody conflict, a bizarre new trend has emerged: naked selfies in support of The Israel Defense Forces.

Two Facebook pages have been set up: One collecting photos of naked women, and one of naked men [EDITOR'S NOTE: Booooooo].

The selfie takers are snapping themselves half-naked with messages of support for the IDF written across their bodies.


Guys, there’s a lot of war going on in the world today. People fighting without knowing what they’re fighting for. Snap judgments being made left and right. Maybe one side is right, maybe one side is wrong. Hard to say. But we’ve talked enough about Pres getting into a battle with Desmond Howard on Twitter over #pondergate, it’s time we move on to less globally recognized issues.


Obviously, I’m talking about the Israeli-Palestine conflict currently going on on the Gaza strip. What’s going on there is no joke. Lives are being lost, it sucks and mentioning anything about the logistics of it is way outside of Barstool’s coverage sphere.


Not outside Barstool’s coverage sphere? Sweet Israeli titties and asses being marked with support for the Israeli Defense Forces. Hooray! Can’t go to war yourself? No problem, just break out a set of ample jugs formed by copious amounts of matzoh and you’re as integral as any five-Star of David general.


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I know the Barstool readers occasional enjoy dabbling in anti-Semitism but how can you not let your freak yarmulke fly when you see these photos? Israeli chicks, highly underrated. They’re usually tan, nice bodies, forced to serve in the military for their citizenship so they’re in amazing shape. Might be tough to get them to pick up a check but hey, we’ve all got our faults.



There’s an entire Facebook page full of foxy Jewess support here if you’re counting down the minutes until leaving the office. Little Friday gift from your ol’ pal Spags and the Chaim’s Angels.

The Internet Raises $50K For Vandy Chick To Stay In School After Mom Dies And Dad Loses His Job
Jul 253:35PM EST

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Daily Mail - Strangers from across the country have raised more than $48,000 to keep a student at Vanderbilt University after her mother committed suicide and her father lost his job.

Cassie Wessely, 19, from Grayslake, Illinois, was left $24,000 short for the upcoming school year – despite a summer job, savings, a scholarship, a student loan and financial aid from the school. So last week, out of desperation, she created a GoFundMe page to try to raise $25,000 to ensure she could return to the college for her second year.

After just three days, it had raised more than $6,000 and now it has topped $48,000 as nearly 1,000 people from across the country donate amounts between $5 and $100.

‘There are really no words to say how thankful I am,’ she told Today. ‘When I saw $5 donations, I knew that was from people who didn’t have the money to give, but they gave anyway.’

On the page, Wessely explains that her mother, Karen Peregrin Wessely, had residential custody of her when she graduated from high school. Her mother was unemployed and her financial aid at Vanderbilt was determined by her income. But just three weeks before the teen headed to college, her mother killed herself. Wessely explained to Today that her mother had struggled with her brother’s death from an overdose five years prior.

With the donations already far exceeding her target, she said she will put the extra money towards paying for her junior and senior years. She plans on leaving the fundraiser up until school starts on August 20.

‘It is overwhelming, but in a good way,’ she told The Tennessean. ‘It was just so touching, and I’m so grateful and I was so blown away by it all.’




For as big of an absolute asshole the internet can be (and trust me, Barstool writers know it more than anybody), it never ceases to amaze me how fucking awesome it can be. How random strangers can just donate money for people they’ve never met and never will meet because their story touched them.  Danny getting literally truckloads of birthday cards, Vanderbilt girl going through tragedy after tragedy getting her tuition paid.  World might not be as fucked up as we think.

This Is The Most Emasculating Street Fight Anyone’s Ever Uploaded To The Internet
Jul 253:09PM EST


Liveleak – Dude in the white was trying to get at other dude’s girl. After that the girl and her man stated they didn’t want problems because they had kids. Dude in the white shirt didn’t respect and still wanted to fight. He paid for it…


The “He paid for it” in that description is quite the understatement. When the the husband gets him in a back mount and hit him with some crossface punches, I started to feel bad for white shirt. And then when the husband accused him of “biting him like a little bitch” I definitely felt bad for the guy. And then when the husband continued punching him and conjured up a theoretical scenario in his head that the guy was going to both call the cops and kill him, I completely flipped. Like if I were the wife in question, I’d probably not only want to get a divorce after this, I’d just give the kid a handy out of embarrassment. Probably a charitable tax deduction at this point.


Anyone else slightly concerned (maybe disappointed, gotta keep an open mind) that this was going to degenerate into a prison rape? I’ve got good money that the bald guy has done at least a short stint.

Best New Music Of The Week From The Weeknd, Alesso, Banks + Danny Brown
Jul 252:45PM EST

Best Of The Week Beats

We got a little bit of everything this week, from bangers (Alesso, Showtek, Steve James) to some sultry shit (The Weeknd, Majid, Banks) to new verses from some of our favorite rappers (Cam’ron, Danny Brown).  Definitely expecting lots of new music from everyone soon, so stay tuned for that.

Click here to stream all of the best new music of the week


Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Amber from New Mexico vs. Jenna from Colorado State
Jul 252:15PM EST

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Amber from UNM 

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Jenna from CSU


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1 for Amber…5 for Jenna


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (375 votes, average: 2.39 out of 5)
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This Guy’s Obsessive List Of Dating Dealbreakers Wastes Absolutely No Time With Telling Women What’s Up
Jul 251:30PM EST

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I feel bad that I’m going to subject you guys to a blog this long. But this man posted his dating dealbreakers on OkCupid with an expectation of people reading through them all and dammit if there’s one thing I believe in it’s the sacred trust of dating websites and a commitment to helping others find love. So read through it, maybe break out your Mead notebook to take inventory, and we’ll regroup at the bottom.















Deep breath.


To no one’s surprise, the usual subjects came out calling the list things like “80% horrific and 100% hypocritical” or “insane” and my response is, “Well yeah, kinda.” Like this guy is obviously a sociopath posting that list of items that, even without proofreading, he had to painstakingly lay out for at least an hour with a probably 30 minute brainstorm session. But any dating website is all about playing the numbers; there are literally MILLIONS of people in some geographic areas and even if you sort by weight, height, ethnicity, income, smoking preference, pets, and which dates they’re most likely to put out (OkCupid actually offers this option…uh, so I’ve heard), you’re only paring it down to hundreds of thousands of people. That’s a whole lot of work even if Cupid is on his A-game.


So this guy went with an aggressive stance instead, rallying every single reason he could to disqualify a girl. But the most brilliant idea to disqualify a girl is the list itself: Any girl who would put up with this bullshit will put up with ANYTHING to get that overly specific dick. By the time any girl actually hits all these qualifiers and read through the list, he pretty much just put the slipper on Cinderella’s foot without even having to meet the girl. One message, two vodka sodas, and they’re probably off to a romantic honeymoon on the Maldives. Women run these kind of mental gymnastics in seconds like they’re Big Blue crushing Russian guys at chess; there have been studies that prove women decide whether a man is a suitable sexual partner within 5 minutes. This guy did the exact same thing, he just put it on paper, vulnerable for all the world and some mean girl on Tumblr to judge.


And judge they shall. But stand tall in the face of adversity, random Internet weirdo. May this GIF from me to you provide you the courage to continue on:





You’re completely fucked if you’re horrendously ugly, though.

Robin Thicke’s Acting Debut Just Won All The Academy Awards
Jul 2512:45PM EST

(I think you have to have Adblock disabled to watch the clip on desktop, sorry guys)


Filmdrunk – It’s safe to say that in the summer of 2012, Robin’s career was going through a bit of an identity crisis. This must have prompted him to ponder “what would daddy do?”, because that year Robin decided it was time to introduce the world to Robin Thicke: Hollywood leading man.

The movie was called “Abby in the Summer” (I say was because the title was later changed to “Making the Rules“) and, according to a column written by Vulture’s Kyle Buchanan, it is so ridiculously bad that you “simply must watch” the movie.


Oh shit check out Robin Thicke just killing ‘em out there in Hollywood. Every time he says the name “Abby” you can really feel the drama that this…this is a man pretending to be another man who simply cannot organically say the name Abby. If that’s not character layered on top of character layered on top of character then frankly I don’t even know why we have a dramatic film industry in this country.


The most genuine and heartfelt goodbye an actor has ever put onto celluloid:




Hope your screen isn’t flammable because we all know that was absolute



In all seriousness though I’m just glad that this movie Making the Rules didn’t get picked up when feminists were rallying against “Blurred Lines” for being rapey because this performance has the rapiest undertones since The Accused. Just lots of creeping around corners and blank stares and the subtle subtext that this is a man who knows his way around a Costco-sized bottle of chloroform.


There’s an accompanying NY Mag article more fully looking at Thicke’s acting debut if you feel like you need 1000 more words telling you “This was not good.” Or you could just enjoy this video seminar from Robin Thicke’s acting coach instead.