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5 Year Old Little Bro Sends UAB Cash Money To Save Their Football Program

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Dec 1810:55AM EST

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Love this little guy.  Back when I was his age and I would get my weekly allowance I would sprint straight up to my room to hide that shit in a shoebox, hoard all my dollar bills and quarters together so I could go on the best candy and soda shopping spree ever.  This kid sticks it in an envelope and sends it to a school to try and save their entire football program.  Not even his favorite team, just wants those guys to have as much fun as his Buckeyes do.  Heart of gold.  Don’t ever change kid, don’t ever change.

 

Unfortunately I get the feeling UAB President Ebeneezer Scrooge immediately ripped it in half and set it on fire to light his cigar in his office as he counts all the cash he’s saving by not giving it to the football team.

 

 

The $11,000 Per Year Seamless Addict Girl Cyberbullied Me On Twitter Because I Tindered With Her Years Ago

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Dec 1810:04AM EST

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KFC blogged about a young lady yesterday who was featured in the NY Post for her Seamless “addiction” that entails her spending $11,000 per year on food delivery from Seamless. The story was everywhere, including on BroBible, a site in which I know most of the guys since we worked for the same parent company for a year. Before KFC’s blog I saw theirs, replied saying I had Tindered with the girl in the article a while back and ultimately didn’t go out with her because she lived/worked in a land far away in Connecticut while I lived in NYC (though her location did indicate NYC…needless to say it’s a Tinder faux pas because most people aren’t traveling for such things). I also may have mentioned her obviously ample breasts because honestly it’s relevant to the conversation, like maybe you add a 10 mile radius per cup size, I don’t know what the rules are.

 

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Totally innocuous social media conversation with the Valley to Barstool’s Bayside. Fast forward hours later and I notice a bunch of mentions and a follow from a familiar face.

 

 

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Obviously a bit of a shock when someone finds you talking something resembling trash about them but I guess you shouldn’t be surprised when people who willingly participate in news articles about how much sushi they order also search for anything mentioning them.

 

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You’d think I would have learned about the danger of not @ing someone on Twitter when my boss was murdered in the street like one of Bruce Wayne’s parents a mere week ago but apparently not.

 

 

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I’m correct. It’s a breach of etiquette to act like you’re in NYC and then ask me to drive (I don’t have or need a car) or take a train or bus like a poor person just for the opportunity to buy you a vodka soda and hopefully slip in an appendage or two. And you can tell I’m correct because at this point, it seemed like it became less about my mentioning Tindering with her, or her location, or the ampleness of her titties and more about guy sites objectifying women?

 

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And she’s right. Strong powerful women who give interviews about spending Haiti’s GDP on diner kale and have bios touting their appearance on a gimmicky Bravo dating show weeks before it’s even aired and chat up 30 Tinder dudes a day deserve to be treated better. They’re to be revered, not rated, because they’re not seeking our attention or validation for themselves or their sweet titties. So instead of me picking a fight on Twitter (Spags fighting on Twitter and Tinder in one blog…drink) let’s celebrate her with some photos from her Instagram and wish her all the luck in the world in the respectful and dignified world of seeking love on reality TV.

 

 

 

 

…playas fuck up.

 

 

 

Doris “Hot Sauce” Burke Just Crossed You Up and Broke Your Ankles Through The Computer Screen

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdoris-hot-sauce-burke-just-crossed-you-up-and-broke-your-ankles-through-the-computer-screen%2F
Dec 189:35AM EST

 

 

 

 

Check out your girl Doris!   ANKKLLLEEESSSSS

 

 

 

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Not bad handles for a knee length skirt and heels.   Who knew Doris was such a baller?

 

She attended Providence College in Providence, Rhode Island.[1] Sable was a member of the Providence Friars women’s basketball team, again as a point guard. There she was known as a tough-minded player.[4]

During her senior year, Sable led the Big East Conference in assists.[4] She was a second-team All-Big East player once and twice made the all-tourney team of the Big East Women’s Basketball Tournament.[3] As a senior in 1987[4] she was the college’s Co-Female Athlete of the Year.[3]

She left Providence as its all-time leader in assists[4] and as of 2012 was still second in that career category.[3] She was later inducted into the Providence College Hall of Fame[3] in 1999, the fifth woman so honored.

 

 

Doris Burke

 

Doris Burke

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Olivia from WVU

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Dec 189:00AM EST

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Introducing Olivia from WVU.  Take me hooomeeeeee….country smoooookessss….

 

 

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Download The Barstool Beats App For iOS

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Dec 179:00PM EST

Probably the best app you’ve ever seen, and with the Top 100 of 2014 countdown going on, shit’s hotter than ever.

Click here to download Barstool Beats for iOS

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Click here to download Barstool Beats for iOS

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Click here to download Barstool Beats for iOS

Barstool U Hump Day Smokeshow – Allie from California Lutheran

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Dec 175:50PM EST

 

 

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Our girl Allie from Cal Lutheran is back to celebrate Hump Day with us with some fresh new Barstool booty shorts.  Any smokes that want to get in on that, email paul@barstoolsports.com and help us make Wednesdays go by faster.

 

 

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Bo Pelini Calls The Nebraska AD “A Total Pussy…A Total Cunt” During Final Meeting With His Players

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Dec 175:23PM EST

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LINCOLN Bo Pelini became the new head football coach at Youngstown State Wednesday. He didn’t leave Nebraska without expressing disdain for Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst.

Pelini met with players on Dec. 2 at Lincoln North Star High School. In a 30-minute meeting, he provided a window into the strained — almost non-existent — relationship between he and his former boss.

“A guy like (Eichorst), who has no integrity, he doesn’t even understand what a core value is,” Pelini told players. “He hasn’t understood it from the day he got here. I saw it when I first met with the guy.

“To have core values means you have to be about something, you have to represent something that is important to you. He’s a f—— lawyer who makes policies. That’s all he’s done since he’s been here: hire people and make policies to cover his own ass.”

….

During the tape, Pelini expresses gratitude, support and advice for players. The majority of the tape, however, reveals Pelini’s thoughts about Eichorst. In the first minute of his talk, he uses two vulgarities associated with female genitalia to describe his former boss.

“I didn’t really have any relationship with the A.D.,” Pelini said. “The guy, you guys saw him (Sunday), the guy is a total pussy. I mean, he is. He’s a total cunt.”

The administration’s lack of support, Pelini told players, wore on him and his family.

“I said to (assistant coach Rick Kaczenski) at one point, I said, man, this is killing me. I said I don’t want to die doing this job. I meant it. I was like, I don’t want to have a heart attack doing this job.”

That Sunday, Eichorst called Pelini into his office. Pelini described for players the exchange. After the A.D. informed Pelini he’d been fired, the coach asked if NU was honoring his and his assistants’ contracts. Eichorst said yes. If Eichorst wasn’t going to support him, Pelini said, a change was for the best.

“He goes, I disagree that I haven’t supported you. I said, ‘Hey bud, you can’t support someone under a f-ing rock.’ I said, to do your job at this level, in a place like this, you gotta be a grown-ass f-ing man…to lead something. I said you can’t lead anything under a f-ing rock. I said you don’t spend any time with us. Our players don’t even know who you are. That isn’t leadership.

“And he said, ‘Well I appreciate (your) advice.’”

“I said, ‘I suggest you take it, but see you later.’ And that’s how it went down.”

…..

Pelini saw it coming. He told Husker players on Dec. 2 that one week before he was fired, he approached two members of the Board of Regents.
“I don’t even know what those guys really do. And I said ‘Hey, if (Eichorst) isn’t gonna do his job, if he doesn’t have the balls to go out there and support me, to support these kids, support this program, do me a favor and get rid of me.’”

“At the end of the day, it’s hard enough to build something. You’ve got to have everybody going in one direction. And it wasn’t. Everybody wasn’t going in the right direction.

“There were agendas and that goes all the way over to the chancellor’s office. And between the A.D. and the chancellor and they want their own guy in here, go ahead. Good luck to ya.”

After the Iowa loss in 2013, Pelini told players, he was “trying to press — I wanted to find out where they stood.”

“And unfortunately all I found out then was that they were pussies and they were gonna do what was politically right.”

Pelini said he’d been in the business long enough to know it wasn’t going to work out. He and Eichorst were simply different people.

“I am not somebody who is going to sit there and get along to get along. I am going to speak my mind, and that probably bothered him and the chancellor.”

Pelini referenced a meeting between Eichorst and Husker players the night he was fired, Nov. 30.

“I am sure you guys walked out of there and you’re all smart guys who have been around. I’m sure your gut told you certain things. Trust your gut, because your gut is right.

“Not knowing how it was going to go, when he told me he was going to meet with you guys at 8 p.m., my first thought was, well, that ain’t gonna go real well. Because I knew he wouldn’t handle it the right way.

“I heard he brought security in with him. C’mon man. S— fellas, look at who he surrounds himself with. Look at his team of people. C’mon, man.

“I’d rather fucking work at McDonald’s than work with some of those guys. Not that there is anything bad about working at McDonald’s.”

Why did he want to meet with players? Pelini said he wasn’t going to “toe the company line.” He wanted to tell players “what went down.”

“Let me tell you fellas and this is for real: If it wasn’t for you guys and for the coaches and for their families, I would have resigned a year ago. Because there was some things that were going on that were making me miserable. And all the money in the world ain’t fucking worth that. And that’s the truth.

“I told those guys and Kaz knows, there were too many people, you guys included, that were counting on me and that would’ve upset the apple cart. I said, you know what, my kids were happy here, I said I could suck it up.

“When I was in coaching, when I was doing the X’s and O’s and game-planning and all those types of things, fellas, I forget about all this stuff.

“But there were times when I wasn’t doing that, when I had to deal with all the other bulls—, let me tell ya, there were a lot of nights that I would just go home and sit on the bed and sit there and think, ‘What the f— am I doing?’ Is this worth it? I felt like it was taking years off my life.”

Tell me if I’m wrong, Pelini told players, but the environment at Nebraska wore on you as the past several seasons progressed. It gets harder and harder and harder.

“It is a b—- here. It is hard enough when you have the negativity that comes from the media and the negativity from a lot of former players, this talk show and that talk show, you win and it ain’t good enough. It’s not good enough how you won. There is a lot of things that go on there and if you don’t have a grown man staying in front of the thing and getting everybody, rallying, I can do all I want, but they’re b—-ing at me, too….

“It was never more evident than the Wisconsin game. I thought you guys were more mentally beat in that game than we got physically beat. It’s a culmination of the negativity. I understand, you guys are human. That is why I was constantly talking to you guys about it.

“In the last game, you guys just said f— it, let’s go play. Despite all the injuries and everything else we had dealt with, you guys at least played free. That is my advice to you guys that come back. You can’t let this place eat you up, because if you let it, it will eat you up.

“I have been at LSU, I have been at Oklahoma, I have been to these other places. The scrutiny, the negativity, it ain’t like that everywhere. But it is what it is and you gotta be strong as hell and you gotta stick together to deal with it. You have to. Because it’s real, I know it’s out there. I’ve seen it.”

Football is not a job, Pelini said, and these years are supposed to be the best of your lives.

“If any of you guys have on your mind, hey, should I go or should I stay? At the end of the day, you gotta sit there and think, ‘This is how many years I got left. These ought to be the best of my life. And if I don’t think it’s going to be this way this place, then you shouldn’t stay. But if you feel like, hey, this is the place for me, this is the place I’m going to enjoy my career, then you should stay. That’s what it should come down to.”

The audio tape concludes with Pelini restating his support for the players. You’re always free to call or text me, he said. I’ll be there for you.

“Appreciate you fellas, OK? Appreciate you guys coming out and love you, OK? Thanks, fellas. Appreciate it.”

 

 

 

 

Yes I realize that excerpt is really long and I usually try to take them down as much as possible, but honestly I couldn’t cut any of that out.  Each quote is gold.  From the insults to the heartfelt stuff.  Seriously read the whole thing, it’s awesome.  A rare look inside the mind of a college football coach, many of whom are always so secretive and PC.  A guy who gave his heart and soul to Nebraska and got fucked over in the end by a pussy cunt AD.  His words not mine.  Oh excuse me, I misquoted…a “total” cunt and a “total” pussy.  Much better.

 

Hope Bo absolutely kills it at Youngstown State.

Snapchat’s CEO Almost Cried Because The Sony Email Leak Revealed People Wanted To Buy His Company For $3 Billion

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Dec 174:56PM EST

Mashable – “I felt like I was going to cry all morning, so I went on a walk and thought through a couple things,” [Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel] wrote in a memo that was sent to Snapchat employees Wednesday. “I even ran into one of my high school design teachers. She gave me a huge hug. I really needed it.”

How did Spiegel’s emails come to be part of the Sony hack? The most recent round of leaks included the emails of Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Michael Lynton, who also sits on Snapchat’s board. His correspondence with Spiegel included a series of revelations, including that Snapchat had acquired some companies (one focused on wearable tech similar to Google Glass, another on QR codes, and a third that helped power Snapchat’s live chat capability); discussed a partnership with Twitter; and mulled a deal with Vevo to bring music to the app.

In his memo, Spiegel touted the need for and value of secrets, which he said “keep the space between our community and the public — space that we need to feel safe in our expression and creativity.”

“When we’re done being mad and angry and upset we’re going to keep doing exactly what we are doing. And then we’re going to do it ten times better,” Spiegel wrote. “We’re going to change the world because this is not the one that we want to live in.”

 

 

I like Snapchat. I think it’s a cool idea and awesome that a couple of frat bros made it — even though they totally screwed one of their buddies in the process — and it’s worth so much money even though it’s just a way for guys to scam nudes from chicks and underaged kids to send stupid faces to each other. I’m all about the hustle and this app is hustle x1000. But holy shit is this the most whiny shit I’ve ever heard in my life. It definitely sucks to have your privacy violated but there isn’t a violin small enough for me to give one second of concern about obvious business plans and the news that important people and companies want to offer you truckloads of cash being leaked to the press. Not only are you already the founder and CEO of a company everyone under the age of 30 knows and uses, you’re also now publicly known to be someone who’s already worth not only tens of millions of dollars but also potentially worth BILLIONS more the literal second you decide “Fuck it, I’m ready to sell.” If it were me, I’d keep my head down, make my company do something more than force dudes have to really focus on when they’re going to spray jizz while receiving a picture that only lasts five seconds, and collect my billions whenever I want.

 

 

You want me to shed a tear over everyone on planet Earth knowing what pantone color Jennifer Lawrence’s labia are? Fine. I can do that. You want me to feel one second of agony over this 24-year-old dude’s potential billions of dollars or Judd Apatow whining because it went public that he bitched about a movie date?

 

 

 

There’s more on the business stuff leaked in the Snapchat emails here, nerd shit like valuations and runway and revenue. It’s all pretty interesting once you get past the fact that these are the first world problems to end all first world problems that also make me want to spit in everyone involved’s faces.

Top 100 Songs of 2014: #21-30

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Dec 174:10PM EST

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“Buy The World” was my song of the summer, Lorde is the songbird of our generation, Skrillex continues to lead the EDM revolution from wayyy ahead of the curve, 2 legends linked up for a classic (“Seen It All”), and Duke Dumont, Wiz Khalifa, Banks, Charli XCX, Major Lazer, Bauuer, and Rae Sremmurd (duh) all took home a hottest song of the year award for at least a minute.  All in all, #21-30 will never fail to disappoint.

Click to stream the Top 100 Songs of 2014: #21-30

ICYMI: #31-40 | #41-50 | #51-100

a few highlights…

#21 - Mike WiLL Made-It – Buy The World (ft. Future, Lil Wayne & Kendrick Lamar)

#22 - Lorde – Yellow Flicker Beat

#23 - Skrillex – Recess (ft. Kill The Noise & Fatman Scoop)

#24 - Jeezy – Seen It All (ft. Jay Z)

#25 - Duke Dumont – Won’t Look Back

Monster Dunks and Upsets From Schools That Might Not Even Exist…It’s The Week 3 College Hoops Roundup

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Dec 173:40PM EST

ITS ROUNDUP TIME!

 

 

 

We had our fair share of upsets this week, starting with “Incarnate Word” (WHAT!?) beating Nebraska at Nebraska

 

 

Then it looked like NC State had escaped an upset at the hands of Wofford……

 

The referees then reviewed the play and this reaction says it all

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The University of North Florida, who upset Purdue last week, were issused a Technical Foul for dunking during pre-game warmups and ended up losing to Tennessee tech by two points. Screen Shot 2014-12-17 at 9.37.47 AM Screen Shot 2014-12-17 at 9.22.56 AM    

 

 

  

 

Georgetown taught their mascot, Jack, to Skateboard 

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Roy Williams was fed up after losing to Kentucky and showed that on live TV

 

 

 

 

Who knew Tom Izzo could play the accordion?

 

 

 

 

Sam Thompson from THE Ohio State University had this monsterous 1-handed slam and the best part was the crowds reaction

 

 

 

Delon Wright from Utah had this awesome dunk against Kansas

 

 

 

 

 

James Blackmon of Indiana posterized Montrezl Harrel

 

And then the best IU basketball play of the year happened

 

 

 

 

And then…. Disco Dick got a little bit weird

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callalala 

 

 

Things to Take Away from This Weeks AP Top 25

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1. Kentucky is the unanimous #1 again (My bold 40-0 prediction is still entirely possible)

2. The top 4, maybe top 5 teams are playing in a league of their own

3. Michigan State moves back into the top 25

4. Maryland moved up to their highest ranking since 2006-2007

5. Iowa State is going to be this years dark-horse, also look for Northern Iowa, who just dropped out of the top 25.

 

 

For all questions, concerns, or tips, Email me at Simon@BarstoolSports.com, and if you’re into winning money on NCAAB, follow me @BarstoolSimon and @Dantethedon we’re 30-7-1 on the season right now.