Smoke Smash Entry Form

*First Name:
*Last Name:
Last name is just to facebook girl for permission.
*Photo:
Upload File
*School: Facebook URL:

This Is The Most Emasculating Street Fight Anyone’s Ever Uploaded To The Internet

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthis-is-the-most-emasculating-street-fight-anyones-ever-uploaded-to-the-internet%2F
Jul 253:09PM EST

 

Liveleak – Dude in the white was trying to get at other dude’s girl. After that the girl and her man stated they didn’t want problems because they had kids. Dude in the white shirt didn’t respect and still wanted to fight. He paid for it…

 

The “He paid for it” in that description is quite the understatement. When the the husband gets him in a back mount and hit him with some crossface punches, I started to feel bad for white shirt. And then when the husband accused him of “biting him like a little bitch” I definitely felt bad for the guy. And then when the husband continued punching him and conjured up a theoretical scenario in his head that the guy was going to both call the cops and kill him, I completely flipped. Like if I were the wife in question, I’d probably not only want to get a divorce after this, I’d just give the kid a handy out of embarrassment. Probably a charitable tax deduction at this point.

 

Anyone else slightly concerned (maybe disappointed, gotta keep an open mind) that this was going to degenerate into a prison rape? I’ve got good money that the bald guy has done at least a short stint.

Best New Music Of The Week From The Weeknd, Alesso, Banks + Danny Brown

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbest-new-music-of-the-week-from-the-weeknd-alesso-banks-danny-brown%2F
Jul 252:45PM EST

Best Of The Week Beats

We got a little bit of everything this week, from bangers (Alesso, Showtek, Steve James) to some sultry shit (The Weeknd, Majid, Banks) to new verses from some of our favorite rappers (Cam’ron, Danny Brown).  Definitely expecting lots of new music from everyone soon, so stay tuned for that.

Click here to stream all of the best new music of the week

 

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Amber from New Mexico vs. Jenna from Colorado State

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fsmokesmash-matchup-from-hell-amber-from-new-mexico-vs-jenna-from-colorado-state%2F
Jul 252:15PM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 12.03.15 AM

 

 

Amber from UNM 

Screen-Shot-2014-07-07-at-11.38.30-AM Screen-Shot-2014-07-07-at-11.38.41-AM Screen-Shot-2014-07-07-at-11.38.50-AM Screen-Shot-2014-07-07-at-11.39.55-AM Screen-Shot-2014-07-07-at-11.38.22-AM

 

 

Jenna from CSU

382161_2590640127955_1313175590_2853264_1844733639_n

Screen shot 2011-12-06 at 3.40.50 PM

Screen shot 2011-12-06 at 3.41.10 PM

Screen shot 2011-12-06 at 3.42.46 PM

262481_2288294249497_1313175590_2596857_4662081_n

 

 

 

1 for Amber…5 for Jenna

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (250 votes, average: 2.38 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

This Guy’s Obsessive List Of Dating Dealbreakers Wastes Absolutely No Time With Telling Women What’s Up

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthis-guys-obsessive-list-of-dating-dealbreakers-wastes-absolutely-no-time-with-telling-women-whats-up%2F
Jul 251:30PM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 12.40.47 PM

I feel bad that I’m going to subject you guys to a blog this long. But this man posted his dating dealbreakers on OkCupid with an expectation of people reading through them all and dammit if there’s one thing I believe in it’s the sacred trust of dating websites and a commitment to helping others find love. So read through it, maybe break out your Mead notebook to take inventory, and we’ll regroup at the bottom.

 

 

enhanced-30606-1406292590-27

 

enhanced-11902-1406292590-20

 

enhanced-12951-1406292590-1

 

enhanced-22891-1406292591-3

 

enhanced-12998-1406292591-4

 

enhanced-22899-1406292591-9

 

Deep breath.

 

To no one’s surprise, the usual subjects came out calling the list things like “80% horrific and 100% hypocritical” or “insane” and my response is, “Well yeah, kinda.” Like this guy is obviously a sociopath posting that list of items that, even without proofreading, he had to painstakingly lay out for at least an hour with a probably 30 minute brainstorm session. But any dating website is all about playing the numbers; there are literally MILLIONS of people in some geographic areas and even if you sort by weight, height, ethnicity, income, smoking preference, pets, and which dates they’re most likely to put out (OkCupid actually offers this option…uh, so I’ve heard), you’re only paring it down to hundreds of thousands of people. That’s a whole lot of work even if Cupid is on his A-game.

 

So this guy went with an aggressive stance instead, rallying every single reason he could to disqualify a girl. But the most brilliant idea to disqualify a girl is the list itself: Any girl who would put up with this bullshit will put up with ANYTHING to get that overly specific dick. By the time any girl actually hits all these qualifiers and read through the list, he pretty much just put the slipper on Cinderella’s foot without even having to meet the girl. One message, two vodka sodas, and they’re probably off to a romantic honeymoon on the Maldives. Women run these kind of mental gymnastics in seconds like they’re Big Blue crushing Russian guys at chess; there have been studies that prove women decide whether a man is a suitable sexual partner within 5 minutes. This guy did the exact same thing, he just put it on paper, vulnerable for all the world and some mean girl on Tumblr to judge.

 

And judge they shall. But stand tall in the face of adversity, random Internet weirdo. May this GIF from me to you provide you the courage to continue on:

 

dhMeAzK

 

 

You’re completely fucked if you’re horrendously ugly, though.

Robin Thicke’s Acting Debut Just Won All The Academy Awards

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Frobin-thickes-acting-debut-just-won-all-the-academy-awards%2F
Jul 2512:45PM EST

(I think you have to have Adblock disabled to watch the clip on desktop, sorry guys)

 

Filmdrunk – It’s safe to say that in the summer of 2012, Robin’s career was going through a bit of an identity crisis. This must have prompted him to ponder “what would daddy do?”, because that year Robin decided it was time to introduce the world to Robin Thicke: Hollywood leading man.

The movie was called “Abby in the Summer” (I say was because the title was later changed to “Making the Rules“) and, according to a column written by Vulture’s Kyle Buchanan, it is so ridiculously bad that you “simply must watch” the movie.

 

Oh shit check out Robin Thicke just killing ‘em out there in Hollywood. Every time he says the name “Abby” you can really feel the drama that this…this is a man pretending to be another man who simply cannot organically say the name Abby. If that’s not character layered on top of character layered on top of character then frankly I don’t even know why we have a dramatic film industry in this country.

 

The most genuine and heartfelt goodbye an actor has ever put onto celluloid:

 

thicke-killing-em-1

 

Hope your screen isn’t flammable because we all know that was absolute

 

 

In all seriousness though I’m just glad that this movie Making the Rules didn’t get picked up when feminists were rallying against “Blurred Lines” for being rapey because this performance has the rapiest undertones since The Accused. Just lots of creeping around corners and blank stares and the subtle subtext that this is a man who knows his way around a Costco-sized bottle of chloroform.

 

There’s an accompanying NY Mag article more fully looking at Thicke’s acting debut if you feel like you need 1000 more words telling you “This was not good.” Or you could just enjoy this video seminar from Robin Thicke’s acting coach instead.

 

Rustie – Attak (ft. Danny Brown)

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Frustie-attak-ft-danny-brown%2F
Jul 2512:10PM EST

Danny Brown links up with “Dope Song” compadre Rustie for another grimy hip-hop headbanger off the Scottish bass music producer’s upcoming album Green Language.  Perfect timing too, I’m just starting to recover from DB’s dick wrecking feature on Ab-Soul’s “Ride Slow.”

More from Danny Brown

Steve Spurrier Says He Went Down To The SC Player’s Locker Room And Jerked Some Of Them Off

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fsteve-spurrier-says-he-went-down-to-the-sc-players-locker-room-and-jerked-some-of-them-off%2F
Jul 2511:50AM EST

 

 

Old Ball Coach bein the Old Ball Coach.  I would say never change Spurrier but let’s be honest, he’s not changing a bit.

 

 

PS – Context is for losers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Ryan

Kansas State Coach Bill Snyder Eats Only One Meal A Day: Taco Bell At Midnight

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fkansas-state-coach-bill-snyder-eats-only-one-meal-a-day-taco-bell-at-midnight%2F
Jul 2511:30AM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-25 at 9.56.50 AM

 

BRISTOL, Conn.Kansas State coach Bill Snyder says the legend of him eating one meal a day is true.

Snyder, 74, still works 18-hour days as he is about to begin his 23rd season as the Wildcats’ coach, and he refuses to take lunch breaks. He usually doesn’t eat until after he leaves the office.

“One meal a day is accurate,” Snyder said Wednesday, during an interview at ESPN. “It’s not always Taco Bell. I like Taco Bell.”

Snyder said Taco Bell is sometimes his only option because he returns home so late.

“Taco Bell is open at midnight,” Snyder said. “[My wife's cooking] is not.”

 

 

 

Absolute psychopath move.  No other way to put it.  I mean yeah, this is some funny little quirk about an eccentric guy who by all accounts is pretty much the man, but at the same time it’s kind of disturbing right?  Like would you really trust your son to go play for a guy who doesn’t eat food all day then just crushes a Taco Bell burrito at midnight?  A 74 year old man who only eats food made specifically for hammered drunk 20 something year olds?   Such a weirdo. Hey Snyder you’re not POTUS bro.  You’re the football coach at Kansas State.  Put the play sheets down and step out and grab a turkey sandwich for 30 minutes.

 

Kliff Kingsbury Reads Flattering Tweets About Himself

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fkliff-kingsbury-reads-flattering-tweets-about-himself%2F
Jul 2511:05AM EST

 

 

 

Just impossible to be more of the fucking man than Kliff.  Flat out impossible.  Somebody commented the other day kmarko who would you rather bang Johnny Football or Kliff Kingsbury, I think they were making fun of me but in all honesty that’s an incredibly tough question.

 

 

 

847938258

This Lady Is Putting An Absolute Beatdown On Key West Florida

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthis-lady-is-putting-an-absolute-beatdown-on-key-west-florida%2F
Jul 2510:45AM EST

ASPLGHz

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.21.28 PM

 

imgurSeen on the streets of Key West, FL. Did a double-take and nearly choked on a slice of key lime pie. 

 

 

 

 

This post is not Sam Ponder approved.

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Isaac