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If This Mullet Is Any Indication I Have A Feeling UConn’s Starting QB Is Going To Be My New Favorite College Football Player

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Aug 2010:05AM EST

 

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Still looking for someone to step in and fill the void that Johnny Football left.  Think this UConn bro might be up to the task?  If that vicious lettuce is any indication, yes absolutely.

Thought we had a candidate with Texas headshot bro -

 

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Until he pussied out and shaved it off like a total pussy.  Enter: UConn’s Casey Cochran, singlehandedly keeping the mullet game alive in the Northeast.  Flow for days.  Unstoppable salad.  Business in the front, party in the back, probably undefeated record on the field and AAC title.

Browns Name Brian Hoyer Week 1 Starter After Johnny Manziel’s Preseason Middle Finger

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Aug 209:30AM EST

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CLEVELAND, OhioBrowns coach Mike Pettine admitted Tuesday that Johnny Manziel losing his cool in Washington and flipping off the Redskins will factor into his decision on a starting quarterback.

BEREA, OhioDespite awful performances by both of his quarterbacks in Monday night’s loss at Washington, Browns coach Mike Pettine announced Tuesday he has chosen Brian Hoyer over Johnny Manziel to start the season opener against the Steelers Sept. 7.

Pettine’s decision came two days after Hoyer managed just one field goal in his four first-half drives – despite great field position produced by an opportunistic Browns defense.

Manziel clearly demonstrated in Washington that he’s not ready to take over the reins. He was just as bad as Hoyer in the first half, completing 2-of-7 attempts for 29 yards with no touchdowns and no interceptions and a 44.3 rating.

What’s more, Manziel flipped off the Redskins’ bench. Pettine said he’d address the gesture with Manziel, who is subject to a fine by the NFL.

 

 

 

BOOOOOOO.  BOOOOOOO.  Listen should Manziel start? Probably not. And I’m basing that on the fact that he personally said “I don’t think I’m ready to start.”  I watched the Skins game just like everyone else and it’s clear that he has a LOT to work on, but it’s also clear he’s 100% self aware of that fact and knows his limitations right now.  But are you kidding me with using a middle finger in the middle of a football game as your excuse?  Are you that cowardly?  That you can’t just come out and say that, as head football coach, you want to start Hoyer because you think he gives you a better chance to win?   Like I said yesterday.  The middle finger is a move used by every 12 year old and middle aged housewife stuck in traffic in the country.  Young, elderly, everyone in between flips the bird.   Watch any NFL football game and see each play end with at least 2 guys telling each other fuck this fuck that fuck you fuck him.  But all of a sudden if you put it in finger form it means you have the worst character in the history of sports and aren’t fit to run a team.  Got it.   Guess it’s true what they print on t-shirts, Haters Gonna Hate.

 

 

 

 

 

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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Sydney from County College of Morris

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Aug 209:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Sydney from County College of Morris.  Hump Day bitches, let’s do this!

 

 

Charli XCX – Break The Rules

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Aug 199:00PM EST

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Still flying high off the Fancy and Boom Clap wave, Charli XCX drops her new bass heavy, grungy pop, drunk anthem single, “Break The Rules.”

Barstool CFB Season Preview: Baylor

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Aug 198:00PM EST

 

Editor’s Note:  That was my bad running the Texas preview again earlier, had duplicates in the Drafts and got confused.  -KM

 

Program Outlook:

Baylor, once the laughingstock of College Football in Texas (along with Rice, who doesn’t even really count), is at the currently the most successful in terms of wins and losses in the state of the past 3 years. They’re the only team from Texas to make a BCS Bowl since 2011, have had 2 double-digit win seasons in the past 3 years, and are the clear favorites to be the best team in the state right now. Unfortunately, I think the relative success (in comparison to the rest of program history) is going to be a bit of a high-water mark for them. With the previously-decaying Texas program being revitalized in the Charlie Strong era, the infusion of money and exposure Texas A&M will receive from the SEC Network, Kliff Kingsbury taking over Texas Tech (terrific recruiter and quarterback savant), and TCU emerging from a lull, Baylor’s tenure at the top will be brief. I still think they’ll be solid for years to come, Art Brile’s offensive acumen and extensive network of relationships from his time as a Texas High School Coaching legend alone will keep them respectable, I don’t see Baylor being a consistent Big 12 Contender in the long run.

Best Program Tradition:

Sic ‘em Bears makes me laugh every time for reason so I’m picking that.

Over/Under:

Right now it’s set at 9.5. A curiously low number when you consider that they SHOULD be favored in every game they play except Oklahoma and maybe Texas depending on how the Longhorns look in the early season and bounce back from some the losses they’ve sustained this offseason. Last year Baylor was a top-25 defense (exactly top-25 actually, they ranked 25th by Football Outsiders). The offense was perhaps the most exciting outside of Eugene, Oregon with an average of over 60 points and nearly 700 yards per game, and destroyed the Sooners 41-12. Quarterback Bryce Petty’s return would indicate the offense should operate at a fairly high level, even with all three of his best offensive weapons being sophomores and a lot of his offensive line being replaced. The problem with Baylor, historically and currently, is depth. But as long as the Bears remain healthy, I don’t see them losing more than twice. I’ll cautiously take the over.

Obligatory Hype Video:

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Lyna from FAU

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Aug 195:30PM EST

 

 

Introducing Lyna from FAU.  #1 on Smokesmash right now, #1 in your hearts.

Motorcycle Guy Gets In Massive Accident, Somehow Survives With Miraculous Gymnast Flip

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Aug 194:50PM EST

 

 

Hooooly shit. I love these near miss videos as much as any genre of viral video online. There is legitimately no reason this guy should have survived this situation but there he is, hanging out on top just ghost riding the whip. One of those moments that should theoretically change your life forever and make you cherish every minute you’re alive but would probably last only two days before you’re back to jerking off on a towel that’s stiff as an ironing board from months of splooge, sniffing your own ass crack, and pounding pints of Ben & Jerry’s Americone Dream to top it all off. But that one minute after you survive this? Pure magic and joy you can never top.

 

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One of the commenters on a previous blog wondered why I go with Liveleak videos so often and this is exactly why. It’s like having a personal concierge for the kind of videos I like. The NFL Redzone of Internet-worthy videos, just pounding it into the end zone over and over again everyday. When you watch/read 1,000 things a day you simply can’t put a price on that kind of convenience.

Playlists From Barstool Bloggers Not Named Zollo

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Aug 194:15PM EST

For some reason this blog title is total clickbait.  I don’t get it.  Buy an app.

kmarko’s Bangerflamez  (more from kmarko)

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KFC’s White KFC  (more from KFC)

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Big Cat’s Surprisingly Cultured

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Feitelberg’s Party In The USA (more from Feits)

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Nate’s 90′s Music Throwdown

90s music throwdown

CharlieWisco’s AIM Chat Room Bangers (more from CharlieWisco)

AIM Chat Room Bangers 2

Smitty’s Common Man Blues

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Chief’s Gone Country (more from Chief)

Gone Country

 

Beardo’s 3 Scoops Of J3cked to the Face

3 Scoops Of Jack3d To The Face

On September 12th We Are Taking Over Lupos For This Years Providence Blackout! Don’t Miss This!

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Aug 193:20PM EST

If you havn’t heard Dante, our Blackout DJ, than this is a must listen:

Lupos

Tickets

 

So Dante is making waves in the music industry, he just opened for Miley Cyrus and thats pretty fucking big. Imagine what he can do in front of 1200+ people getting absolutely insane and Blacking the Fuck OUT!!! Rhode Island we are coming for you, September 12th, Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel, you do not want to miss this. Tickets are on sale now!!!

 

Buy Tickets Here

 

Introducing Big Chen The Hottest Musician At U Texas…Or Maybe The Entire Country

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Aug 193:00PM EST

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Reader Email

 

You guys have to check out the latest video from Big Chen, he’s a legend at UT and should blow up nationwide any day now.  John Legend just got owned right here, wouldn’t be a huge surprise if he has Teigen with him in his next vid under his arm.

 

Viva,

Steven 

 

 

 

First of all why he goes with Big Chen instead of sticking with his Youtube name “KoolAsianGuy” is beyond me, but I’m not the artist here.  Chalk it up to creative differences.  As for the music there’s really only one word to describe the big man:  versatility.

 

From freestyle raps that would have Ice Cube and Dr. Dre bobbin’ their heads…

 

 

 

To soft pop singles for the ladies…

 

 

 

To grunge so grungey you can practically taste the heroin…

 

 

 

 

 

There’s just literally nothing Big Chen can’t do musically, and that includes carry a tune.