Cyclist Gets A Tailgating Car Pulled Over, Acts Exactly Like You’d Expect A Cyclist To Act In Response
This video is working its way through the Internet as one of those “instant karma” types of videos where people feel good because some asshole gets his comeuppance immediately after doing something crappy. Given that I’m pretty much on the transit beat for Barstool the last couple days, I figured I should check it out in the hopes of getting to enjoy one of life’s victories for the good of us all. Small problem: The guy who’s the protagonist of the video is some douche on a bicycle with a fucking speedometer on it. Are you kidding me? I’m supposed to root for this dipshit who I’m 99% sure is wearing wildly unsatisfied spandex shorts because some big SUV tried to drive where cars are supposed to drive while this pussy does speed runs on his big wheel?
I hate the cyclist for his little smug celebration and “little kid with a badge from a cereal box” offer of “Hey, you need the video, officer?” and his completely unrequited offer of his name to the cop. I hate the cop for playing into this cockbag’s delusions of cyclists being anything higher on the food chain than a fly on your windshield, talking to him with the same professional courtesy one might give a Make-A-Wish kid going on a ride-along. “You think this big meanie should get a ticket, little buddy? Okay, just for you!” And, most of all, I hate the SUV driver for not pounding a tall boy or 10 before hitting the road and, as a result, not just plowing into him for the good of society at large. Do you even Sunday Funday bro?
Before you go and say I’m being unreasonable, after noting all his needy “SUBSCRIBE :)” crap all over the video, I clicked on this guy’s YouTube channel and, guess what, he’s not just a cyclist, he’s a cyclist who just looooves attention for standing up to the big mean advancements in American transportation.
Yes, you just witnessed a video of a little man on a bicycle catch up to a car, yell at its driver about the rules of the road, then ride past a red light into oncoming traffic. And you’re telling me I can’t wish for a Leonard Little special on this kid? Get out of here. You failed me, tonight, Internet. Gonna take some chicks breaking out meat flaps on Instagram tonight to get our relationship back on track.