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Coolio Says He’s Not Releasing Any Music On PornHub And That He Doesn’t Even Watch Porn

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Jul 2412:55PM EST

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Rolling Stone - Earlier this week, TMZ reported that Coolio had signed a deal with Pornhub to release his new video and debut any of the rapper’s new music. And while the Internet let out a collective chuckle, the 50-year-old rapper tells Rolling Stone nearly all of the report is untrue.

“I don’t know why TMZ always has to do that bullshit, man,” says Coolio. “I let them into the video shoot willingly and then the first thing they do is talk bullshit about me and try to make me look bad. They were trying to say it was my comeback. Man, I ain’t trying to make no fuckin’ comeback off some porn.” The rapper chatted about porn, sex and music to set the record straight.

So you’re releasing a new album through Pornhub…

Hold up. They made that shit up completely. I didn’t talk to them about shit and they didn’t ask me any questions. That shit was a fuckin’ promo song for the website. That’s it! I met some executive from Pornhub while he was out [in Las Vegas] for the AVNs. We hung out; he was cool. He asked me to do a song for Pornhub and that was it. It’s not even my song that I’m putting out. I’m never doing a new album. I’ll probably do nothing but singles. I’m as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout history. But I don’t know how much longer I’ll be doing it. It’s not really fun anymore.

The article mentioned that Pornhub would get to premiere new tracks.

I don’t know where that came from. If they pay me enough money, fuck yeah, I’ll do an album exclusively for Pornhub. At this point in my career, bro, I don’t have nothing to prove to nobody. I’ve proved everything. I just have to prove some shit to my banker. I have to prove to that motherfucker I can put more zeroes in my account. They constantly come at me on some foul shit. I talked to [TMZ founder] Harvey [Levin] personally, who said, “Yeah, I really like you, Coolio.” Well, you don’t fuckin’ act like it.

…I will say this, though, about the promo video: Damn. Mmm mmm mmm. They were some nice women sitting around that motherfucker, boy. I don’t even watch porn, bro. You know why?

Why?

Because I am fuckin’ porn. Why should I watch somebody do something that I could be doing? That doesn’t make sense to me. If I want to see porn, I’ll fuckin’ put a mirror next to my bed. There’s 7 billion people on the planet, right? If that’s so, then I’m one of the world’s 1 million greatest lovers. I’m totally unselfish. I don’t give a shit about myself. I’m all about my partner. I’m a pleaser. You can ask any woman I’ve ever been with and they’ll tell you, “He’s the motherfucker.”

 

Oh what a surprise TMZ made up another story.  Shocker.  Got to admit though, totally worth it to get this interview with Coolio and hear some of these quotes.  Why don’t you watch porn Coolio?  ”Because I am fuckin’ porno.”  Most badass answer ever.  I mean normally you hear a guy doesn’t watch porn and the first thing you think is wow, psychopath.  But if you qualify it with you fuck so good and so much that all you have to is put a mirror next to your bed and watch yourself?  Just flipped the game on its head.  He’s the motherfucker indeed.    Coolio baby, don’t call it a comeback!

 

Seriously don’t, because it’s not.

 

Cue it!

 

Dawgs Off To A Bad Start…UGA DT Kicked Off Team For Punching Girl In The Face…5 Star Recruit Has Warrant Out For Stealing iPhone From Dorm

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Jul 2412:30PM EST

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AthensAnother young and talented defensive player was booted from the Georgia football team on Wednesday afternoon. Defensive lineman Jonathan Taylor became the third dismissal off the unit this offseason when the school announced about three hours after he bonded out of the Clarke County Jail that he was kicked off the team.

Taylor is charged with felony aggravated assault/family violence.

Police allege the redshirt sophomore choked and struck his girlfriend several times with a closed fist after an argument in a Georgia residence hall room early Tuesday morning. He was arrested by UGA police soon after following an investigation that started with a call from a third party.

 

 

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AJCUGA Police have issued a warrant for the arrest of a 5-star recruiting prospect who was attending Georgia’s Dawg Night camp this past weekend.

Darnell Salomon, a 6-foot-2, 185-pound wide receiver from Hollywood, Fla., has been identified as the suspect accused of entering the unlocked suite of two female students in Busbee Hall this past Saturday morning and stealing an iPhone5 and a wallet containing cash and credit cards. His name was listed on the UGA’s daily police activity log Wednesday morning.

According to an incident report released to the AJC on Monday, UGA Police were dispatched to Rooker Hall in the East Campus Village area of campus in reference to a burglary that occurred in Busbee Hall early Saturday morning. Two female residents who are also UGA athletes reported they were awakened about 7:30 a.m. Saturday to find an unknown black male inside their unlocked residence without permission. After the perpetrator fled, the women discovered they were missing a wallet containing credit cards and an iPhone5 cell phone.

 

 

 

Poor Dawgs.  Decimated by injuries last year.  Disappointing season.  Lose your quarterback to the NFL.  Try to come into camp with a fresh new attitude ready to get back to the top of the SEC and this is what happens right off the bat.    Scumbag D lineman beating the shit out of his girlfriend.  5 star recruit stealing iPhones from dorms.  And don’t forget Harvey-Clemons and Tray Matthews already booted for drug violations and classroom problems.  Defense in straight shambles.  Somewhere my favorite UGA fan of all time is trying not to let the tears make his body paint run…

 

 

 

Lorde – Tennis Court (Diplo’s Andre Agassi Reebok Pump Remix)

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Jul 2411:45AM EST

Solid effort from the Mad Decent chieftain, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Flume’s remix of the same Lorde joint.

More from Lorde || More from Diplo

Not gonna lie, shit’s been a little thin since 4th of July, but with festival season nearing its end and fall tours on the horizon, expect much fresh newnew coming sooner than later.

USF D Tackle Squats 700 Pounds

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Jul 2411:00AM EST

 

Check out this rack!! Senior defensive tackle Todd Chandler squats 700 pounds Wednesday morning…and his teammates love it! #FindAWay #GoBulls #USF #LiveGreenAndGold

 

 

Umm does that even count?  Jeez dude why don’t you just get out of the rack and let your trainer do the whole thing?  WEAAAKKKK.   Didn’t see anyone helping this Iowa freak yesterday.

 

 

 

 

 

Just 100% pure cornfed honky strength.

 

 
PS – USF senior defensive tackle Todd Chandler, in case I ever bump into you while hunting for smokeshows in Florida…I’m just kidding.  700 pounds is a fucking lot.

Woman Goes To Hospital Complaining About Stomach Pain…Doctors Find A Dildo Has Been Stuck In Her Vagina For 10 Years

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Jul 2410:18AM EST

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Daily Mail - A Scottish woman walked around with a five-inch sex toy inside her for 10 years without realising, doctors have reported.

The 38-year-old woman arrived at hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking and lethargy. She had also experienced mild incontinence for ‘a few weeks’. On further examination, doctors were shocked to discover a strange foreign body protruding into her bladder from her vagina.

Surgical removal of the item at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary revealed it to be a five inch (11cm)-long sex toy.

Medical staff were even more taken back when the woman revealed she had used the sex toy with her partner ten years ago.

She also admitted she was under the influence of alcohol at the time – and claimed she couldn’t remember removing it or not.

The woman had a normal IQ, no signs of depression or psychosis and had not been subject to any abuse, according to the case report.

One doctor at the hospital, who was not willing to comment on the patient’s specific case, confirmed it was highly unusual for such a large foreign object to go unnoticed in the majority of instances – by patients or their partners.

 

 

Listen I’m admittedly not a vagina expert.  Don’t know a hell of a lot of how things work down there, what exactly is going on with all the parts, what different stuff feels like etc.  You’re not going to see me giving any lectures at vaginal health conferences is what I’m saying.  But I got to imagine that you don’t exactly need a PhD and a medical license to know that a 5 inch dildo stuck in your vagina protruding into your bladder is going to be something that you notice pretty immediately?  I mean I get that you were drunk.  Blacked the hell out it seems like.  We’ve all been there.  Maybe you wake up in the morning and it takes a few sleepy minutes before you realize you left a vibrator in your pussy.   But TEN FUCKING YEARS?  10 years of weight loss and incontinence and the shakes before you head to the doctor and realize there’s a motherfucking sex toy inside of you?  Jesus lady, get your masturbation game together.  Shit is getting embarrassing/life threatening.

 

 

PS- Just a hunch but for any future sex partners with this lady,  I think we’re redefining the term “hot dog down a hallway” right here.

Three Ford Mustangs Try To Drift, Each Ruins Their Car While Failing Miserably

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Jul 2410:00AM EST

 

I’m an absolute sucker for videos like this. People showing off and embarrassing themselves in the process is just amazing theater, especially when they’re ruining or at least severely damaging prized possessions in the process. What were the requirements for entering this festival of mediocrity, you just had to own a Mustang and maybe seen one of the Fast and the Furious movies or just possessed an overall vague knowledge of Lil Bow Wow albums? My drifting skils may extend only to getting a moderate speed boost in Mario Kart (Bowser erryday, bad boy life don’t know no quit) but I’m pretty sure you could put me in one of these chariots and I’d have at least as good of a showing, though admittedly the bar for success is limbo champion low.

 

The red Mustang’s terrible drift was great since he lost a chunk of his car and had a random black dude shouting “He too old! He too old!” as his professional analysis of why things went wrong (and obviously I would fully support this man becoming a color commentator to every sporting event and big moment in my life that’s ever going to occur). But I’m partial to the last black Mustang because seriously what the fuck happened here:

 

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Some say this car drifted its way into the ocean. Others say it continues to ride the streets, traveling through the west like David Carradine in Kung Fu, moving from town to town to help locals with their problems before continuing to run from the law — and itself.

 

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Mrs. Johnny Football Colleen Crowley Shotgunning The Shit Out Of Beers

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Jul 249:30AM EST

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Welcome to internet superstardom Mrs. Football.  This is how it works.  You date the legend, people tear through all your social media and analyze the shit out of it.  Not gonna lie, this is a pretty good one to get out there up front.  Just chillin on a beach shotgunning beers like a boss.  Makes you look cool and casual.  Hot as shit but still down to Earth and ready to party at a moment’s notice.  Killer combination.  Not a half bad job with those brews either.  You know, for a girl.

 

 

 

PS – If you watch the Rundowns every day you’ve heard Pres mention that the Crowley sisters are Barstool smokeshow legends.  Not sure if readers from 4 years ago remember but her older sister Robyn was the runner up in the first ever Smokeshow Madness.  Robyn from A&M.   If I remember correctly she was actually less than 100 votes away from upsetting our girl Kacie…

 

 

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Oh and she also shotguns.

 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Emily from Indiana

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Jul 249:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Emily from Indiana.  God I love Hoosier girls.

Barstool Beats Top 10

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Jul 239:35PM EST

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Click here to stream Barstool Beats Top 10

PND FTW!  App coming soon.

Click here to stream Barstool Beats Top 10

Motorcyclist Interviewed About Crashes, Immediately Gets Obliterated By Another Motorcycle While Riding Away

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Jul 238:15PM EST

 

Liveleak – “There’s been a lot of accidents here and I’m gonna work nearby this whole week, so I’m scared”, he said before taking off and crashing onto another motorcyclist. Both of them walked away with just a few scratches and did not want to be interviewed again.

 

You can definitely question this news station’s adequacy in selecting subjects for interviews about motorcycle safety but you’ve got to admire their dedication to reporting. Very gracious of them asking to interview the guy again right after he just got destroyed on camera. Hmm we could call an ambulance, maybe offer the guy a nice green tea to help calm his nerves after he almost died orrrrrr we could wipe down the spinal fluid leaking out of his ear and try to get another 10 seconds of footage in the hopes of going viral on Brazilian YouTube. Easy call. Why go get a degree from Northwestern when you’ve got Journalism 101 captured in video for free?

 

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When something like that happens to you, do you even try to pick up the shattered pieces of your motorcycle or just call the cops and let them sort it out? Granted it’s Brazil so that bike was the equivalent of his 401K, life insurance, and a 30-year fixed rate mortgage rolled into one; he definitely went and grabbed every last shard of rice burner off the ground in the hopes his buddy Leonardåö could fix it up for some flank steak on a sword and a handy from a possible tranny.*

 

*Given that those two things and the World Cup are all I know of Brazil, I assume at least one of them has to be their national currency.