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Draftkings $75K Light The Lamp Hockey Contest…Turn 27 Bucks Into $10,000 Tonight

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdraftkings-75k-light-the-lamp-hockey-contest-turn-27-bucks-into-10000-tonight%2F
Oct 213:40PM EST

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CLICK HERE TO JOIN

 

 

 

Switching it up this week and moving from the gridiron to the ice.  Yup all you puck nuts can rejoice, we’re running our first hockey tourney of the year and starting it off with a big time $10K first prize.  75K total cash prize pool with 630 places paid out.  And only 27 bucks to join, so if you think you know your hockey it’s really a no brainer to try and cash in.  I’ll warn you though, I don’t know anything about hockey and I’m still fully expecting to place in this, so you run the risk of being embarrassed by a lowly blogger in the standings….

 

 

 

 

Contest Details:

-$75K Light the Lamp Fantasy Hockey Contest
-$75,000 in total prizes, $10,000 to first place
-$27 entry fee, 3150 total entries
-Top 630 fantasy scores are paid out

 

 

CLICK HERE TO JOIN

Mizzou’s Chancellor Casually Favoriting Some Hardcore Underwater Porn On Twitter

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmizzous-chancellor-casually-favoriting-some-hardcore-underwater-porn-on-twitter%2F
Oct 213:00PM EST

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First of all I a friend of mine told me he distinctly remembers this porn from the Youjizz homepage a few months back.  He tells me it’s a pretty good one but he was wondering the whole time how the hell they filmed it.  I mean it was like a 25 minute full scene, had to be such a pain in the ass cutting to come up for air, not to mention exhausting and horrible for your lungs.

 

But I digress.  As for our boy Chancellor Loftin here clearly he was hacked,  but there’s really nothing better than some 65 year old dude in a bowtie who has no idea what the Twit thingamajingy on his cell phone is having to explain to everyone that he was hacked and didn’t really push the star button on a couple of young whippersnappers doing sex in the deep ocean.

 

 

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h/t Bacon 

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Hayden from Coastal Carolina vs. Taylor from ECU

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Oct 212:20PM EST

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Hayden from Coastal 

 

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Taylor from ECU 

 

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1 for Hayden…5 for Taylor

 

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (192 votes, average: 3.96 out of 5)
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Todd Gurley Wearing A Free Gurley Shirt

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Ftodd-gurley-wearing-a-free-gurley-shirt%2F
Oct 211:50PM EST

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If you don’t support your own cause, who will?

#FreeGurley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Want to know something funny?  The UGA business major who is making #FreeGurley shirts (with Gurley’s name and likeness on them) is currently making a few thousand bucks selling them on campus at $15 a pop…while Gurley himself is suspended for signing that name on a piece of paper.

 

 

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Late Monday afternoon, University of Georgia student Peyton Bennett drove to a post office in Athens. He needed to ship out a few packages to some loyal Bulldogs fans. “They’re selling really quickly,” said Bennett, a senior business major from Lilburn.

As of now, Bennett makes a profit off the name Todd Gurley. The bearer of that name, on the other hand, remains indefinitely suspended by the university for allegedly doing the same thing. The irony does not escape Bennett. By selling #FreeGurley T-shirts around campus in Athens, Bennett says he’s “pointing out a huge flaw in the system that the NCAA has.” And he makes some money while doing so.

The suspension and investigation of Gurley surrounds the allegation that he took money for signing memorabilia for a dealer. It took Bennett three days following the announcement of Gurley’s suspension to churn a similar profit.

Each white Gildan T-shirt, branded #FreeGurley in bold black and red font, sells for $15 a pop.

“We sold about 100 in three days with really no marketing plan besides walking on campus wearing them,” Bennett said.  [AJC

 

 

 

 

 

And by funny I mean sad.

 

 

Thon Maker Has A New Mixtape And It Just Made Calipari and Pitino Simultaneously Ejaculate All Over Their Offices

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthon-maker-has-a-new-mixtape-and-it-just-made-calipari-and-pitino-simultaneously-ejaculate-all-over-their-offices%2F
Oct 211:10PM EST

 

ESPNBasketball recruiting junkies know the name Thon Maker. The South Sudan-born 17-year-old, who now plays for The Athlete Institute in suburban Toronto, is viewed as one of the top prospects in the world — even though it’s unclear whether he’ll head to college in 2015 or 2016 (he’s currently on track for 2016 but could reclassify).

Luckily for us, Maker’s talent isn’t visible only to scouts and coaches. As anyone can see on this highlight reel, his skills are just silly.

To watch just a few minutes of Maker’s fluidity running the floor, his guard-like handle, his passing, his shooting — and, oh yeah, a big man’s size — makes it no surprise that, according to ESPN recruiting, he’s being pursued by Arizona. And Duke. And Florida, and Kansas, and Kentucky, and Louisville and on and on …

 

 

 

 

I would have said Coach K too but I seriously doubt Coach K ejaculates.  Just like sits in his office with his hands on his cheeks smiling while he lets out a couple of quiet farts.  I don’t know why but I picture Coach K farting when he gets excited.

 

Kind of a weird tangent there but anyway, Thon Maker continues to not only have the most badass recruit name ever but also drop the hottest hoops mixtapes on the market.    If this kid’s college career is anything like his high school mixtape career where they take out all the bad plays and splice the awesome ones together into 2 minute video segments then we’re looking at the next NBA superstar and hall of famer right here.

 

 

Music Video: Makonnen – Tuesday (Remix ft. Drake)

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmusic-video-makonnen-tuesday-remix-ft-drake%2F
Oct 2112:30PM EST

Got the blog goin up…on a Tuesday.  I’ve had some hilarious conversations about this song, some people love it, some people hate it, but long story short, if you’re not down with Makonnen and this record you’re just super basic.

P.S. If you think Makonnen’s a one trick pony, please see “I Don’t Sell Molly No More.”

Oregon Bros Just Playing Some Beer Pong In The Stands During The Washington Blowout

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Oct 2112:10PM EST

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Such a slap in the face to Washington.   Getting blown out so bad the fans don’t even care about watching anymore.  Just pull out the inflatable beer pong raft and fire up a quick game in between easy Mariota touchdowns.   Hey when you win 11 Border Wars in a row by an average of like 2 TDs a game you need to find some way to entertain yourself during the second half right?

 

 

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PS – They don’t sell beer at Autzen right?   Hoping some of these bros had flasks on them because if this is water pong things just went from pretty cool to super lame.

Big Time Arkansas Tailgate Fight…”These White People Are Crazy”

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbig-time-arkansas-tailgate-fight-these-white-people-are-crazy%2F
Oct 2111:20AM EST

 

 

 3:08 “these white people are crazy!” 

 

 

 

Adam no….Adam no….No Adam…..ahhh fuck it, whoop his ass Adam.  Almost forgot where I was for a second, an SEC tailgate is no place to be discouraging fighting.  They’ll probably kick my ass for suggesting they stop kicking each other’s ass.   Just watch the vehicle y’all please, watch the vehicle.  OOOH HIS HEAD BLEEDIN!

 

 

 

PS – Big shout out from the Arkansas police for making this one easy for them TIM….MOTHAFUCKIN…ROBINSON…BITCH!

 

 

 

h/t OTC 

Jimbo Fisher Getting Heated With Media And Cutting Interview Short For Asking Him About Jameis Winston

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Oct 2110:50AM EST

 

 

 

Poor Jimbo.  Guy probably hasn’t had a good night sleep without nightmares of Jameis Winston’s goofy ass face rattling his brain for the past 2 years.

 

 

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Just visions of court documents and police cars and crab legs bouncing around his head every time he shuts his eyes.

 

 

Well not really poor Jimbo.  There are worse things than being a college football coach and having an extremely talented Heisman winning quarterback who brings you a national championship and an undefeated record.  Sure he’s not complaining when he sees that #1 ranking and more importantly that contract $$ in his bank account at the end of the day.  But from a day to day headache and constant annoyance standpoint #5 has got to be a fucking handful.  Don’t blame him for getting a little snippy with the media every now and then.

 

 

Utah National Guard Under Investigation For Sneaking Bikini Models Onto Base To Shoot Super Hot Promo Video

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Futah-national-guard-under-investigation-for-sneaking-bikini-models-onto-base-to-shoot-super-hot-promo-video%2F
Oct 2110:10AM EST

 

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Breitbart  - The Utah National Guard and the Utah Department of Public Safety are now investigating an incident in which British bikini models sneaked into Camp Williams, a Utah National Guard site, and took pictures for a Hot Shots Calendar while they appeared in tanks and fired machine guns.

The video of the five-minute long “behind the scenes” version of the June excursion was released on YouTube on Thursday. The scantily clad girls are shown shooting rifles and machine guns, showing of themselves in bunkers, hanging out in bunkers, riding in tanks, and cavorting in off-road military vehicles.

The Salt Lake Tribune reported that the Utah National Guard investigation discovered that a non-commissioned officer with the 19th Special Forces Group permitted the models to enter the training site without authorization. One Utah National Guard spokesperson stated, “He should have moved it up the chain of command.”

 

 

Know who didn’t care about the Utah National Guard before this video?  Everyone.  Everyone on Earth.  Know who immediately took notice and had instant respect for the Utah National Guard and started to take notice of the amazing work they’re doing after the release of this video?  Every straight heterosexual man with a Youtube account on the planet.  Pretty sure the PR worked.  So maybe lay off the guys a little bit?   Boobs, guns, tanks and butts.  That’s literally America.*

 

 

 

*Except for the girls being British.  But, I’d argue that British bikini models with huge boobs are pretty much honorary American citizens at this point so we’re all good.  Revolution was like 230 years ago, let’s all get over it.

 

 

 

 

 

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