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Fat Lady’s Response To Question Asking If She’s Healthy Is Everything Wrong With “Fat Acceptance”
Nov 2412:00PM EST

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Fat acceptance is one of those very 2014 things that’s loosely tied to the idea of treating everyone with respect but, in reality, is just a way for some people to justify being lazy slobs. Which is fine if that’s what you want to do and you’re not hurting anyone, we don’t all need to grab our stomach rolls and curse God’s name when reality sets in after getting high and spending hours searching for a 6-foot party sub to eat by ourselves. But the way she talked around this fitness dude’s question and somehow made it into a case of people being too focused on “health” and “not being a drain on society” is the kind of delusion that just ruins the whole thing. Look at this poor jacked dude’s face after listening to her when he started with perfectly fine intentions of respecting her instead of viewing her as a pile of gelatinous regret:


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Bottom line for us as a society should be that if you have to make up a phrase to justify why people shouldn’t be annoyed by your existence, you shouldn’t be allowed to publicly whine about it. Also if your neck and your mouth are battling it out for real estate on your body like an aggressive game of Risk, you should have to spend an hour a week walking on a treadmill. Basic rules of human decency to keep the world functioning.



The full video’s here if you want to waste 50 minutes of this holiday week contemplating terrorist acts against your local Weight Watchers. The biggest mistake on the show was that they could have used a more appropriate title card when they introduced her:




(via Reddit)

The Mississippi State Bench Had More Fun Than You Did on Saturday
Nov 2411:30AM EST




I know I told everyone in an earlier blog that I hope you had the best weekend but that was before I saw the Mississippi State bench celebration Vines.



Unless of course it turns out this one guy was actually in fact having a massive seizure, in which case his weekend stock would take a dip.







Almost positive a demon was just exorcized from this bro mid-game.  Relax guy, it’s Vandy.

San Francisco Sportswriter of the Year Finalist Ann Killion Tweets “C’mon Boston College. Beat the Rapist” Before the FSU Game
Nov 2410:50AM EST

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SF Gate - Chronicle sports columnist Ann Killion is one of three finalists for California sportswriter of the year, an award given by the National Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association.

Los Angeles Times writers Chris DuFresne and Sam Farmer also are up for the award. The winner will be announced in January, the organization said.

“Ann Killion provides an honest, declarative voice in a sportswriting environment cluttered with noise,” said Al Saracevic, The Chronicle’s sports editor. “If she’s not the sportswriter of the year, I’d like to meet whoever’s better.”




Hmmm, I may have dropped out of journalism grad school to work for Barstool, but I think I still have it jotted down in my AP Style Book somewhere about the use of “alleged.”  Like, if somebody has been accused of a crime, but cleared by a court of law and/or had charges dropped, you kind of have to stick “alleged” in there when referencing them as a criminal?  I know, I know, it can be annoying adding to your Twitter character count like that with throwaway terms.  Just think it might be important for a finalist for Sportswriter of the Year with a verified blue checkmark to follow the rules in this case before using her honest declarative voice on labeling someone a rapist that hasn’t been convicted as one.



Hope #FSUTwitter was a blast this weekend!



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Barstool U College Football Roundup: Week 13
Nov 2410:00AM EST

It’s Roundup time, LET THEM EAT CAKE!




Quick recap of the Florida State game:  FSU got off to a sluggish start, felt like they were going to lose again, barely squeaked one out against an inferior opponent, and Jameis Winston disrespected an authority figure and  manhandled somebody without their consent.   Basically just your everyday Saturday.




“The Game” went down after a week of hype and videos and pranks, and it did not disappoint.  Mostly because we got to see the Harvard kicker be the most Harvard kicker ever.





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Crimson 31 Bulldogs 24. 



“16 pounds of eye black was a bad choice”



Screen Shot 2014-11-23 at 10.57.09 AM’re the punter.


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Back in my day this is what they called a clean solid tackle.



And that my friends was you bearing live witness to a case of CTE in its developing stages.



On the opposite end of the spectrum from the UCLA punter, the Kansas punter could not give less of a fuck.




“Fuck this, I’m gonna be a tough guy, establish myself as a force in this ball game OH MY GOD you are a gigantic man, retreat, retreat”



Pretty solid catch.  No ODB but like, pretty solid. 




Tennessee celebrates fake field goal with deliberate murder of all fans in end zone.




They’re all dead.



We had a barn burner at V Tech/Wake!!


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Seriously was Beamer being sarcastic here?  Was this a real celebration? Does pride just not exist anymore?



Have to throw something heartwarming in here.  After a tough game with Indiana, Ohio State dude has a cancer patient OSU fan over for dinner.


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Just a reminder…ODB’s been doing this shit since college.





Hope Everyone Had As Great a Weekend As This UVA Bro Singing Don’t Stop Believin’ Into A Goose
Nov 249:30AM EST



Beautiful Saturday.  Not a care in the world.  Great friends by your side.  Fake goose in hand.   Absolute beatdown of the Hurricanes.  Journey on the loudspeakers.  Short holiday week coming up.   Life doesn’t get any better than that my friends.


My only hope for everyone was that you got drunk enough this weekend to sing Don’t Stop Believin’ at the top of your lungs into a plastic goose.







PS – Speaking of, still waiting for PETA to sue Boise State for cruel and unusual mind tricks played on the local geese population.


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Barstool U Monday Morning Smokeshow – Kiara from SMC
Nov 249:05AM EST

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Introducing Kiara from Santa Monica College.  Short week, still got 6 firebomb smokes on deck though, don’t fret.


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12 Year Old Student Reporter Tells Oregon Coach Mark Helfrich His School Only Cares About 3 Things: Jesus, Girls, and Marcus Mariota
Nov 2311:25AM EST



ESPN - Oregon’s Marcus Mariota accounted for four touchdowns against Colorado on Saturday, maintaining the inside track on the Heisman Trophy and a playoff spot for the Ducks.

And while Mariota tops NFL draft boards from coast to coast — including our own Mel Kiper’s — the redshirt junior hasn’t officially announced where he will play next season.

So after the game, one industrious 12-year-old student reporter from O’Hara Catholic School in Eugene took it upon himself to get to the bottom of it. Head coach Mark Helfrich fielded the hard-ball question from sixth grader Charlie Papé.




Love Charlie Papé.  Such a little boss.  If Mark Helfrich and Marcus Mariota had any sense whatsoever they would call up Charlie Papé in his office at the O’Hara Catholic School newspaper and let him be the first to break the news on Mariota’s decision when he reaches it.   That would be awesome.  Jesus, girls, Marcus Mariota, that’s all this little baller cares about.


Oh and some 4th thing, but it didn’t seem that important.




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Jameis Winston Just Manhandling the Ref Last Night During the BC Game Was Too Funny
Nov 2311:04AM EST




Sorry ref.  Jameis takes what he wants, when he wants.  Doesn’t need your consent to snap the ball.  Plus the way you were dressed out there you were practically begging to get shoved around like that.



PS – How about Pereira chiming in?


I’ve looked at this play several times, and in my opinion, Winston should have been penalized for shoving Webster not once, but twice. In fact, I feel he should have been ejected.

Contact with an official can clearly lead to an ejection. Webster was doing his job, which was to hold the snap until the referee cleared him in this situation. Winston clearly pushes him out of the way so he can get the snap off.

That’s a foul, folks.

The announcers laughed and called what Winston did priceless. Winston later said, “It was a fast-tempo play and I was just trying to get up under there and let it ride.”

However, I think Winston should have paid the price for a foul and should have been ejected.  (Fox) 



Get off your high horse amigo, you don’t win championships and Heismans by being polite.

Fat Dude On Michigan State Gets To Run A Reverse For Senior Day
Nov 223:32PM EST













1 yard gain on the play, officially.  100 yard gain in our hearts.





h/t Isaac

Barstool Best Hour Of Your Party Vol. 61 by Dante
Nov 221:45PM EST

Go Crimson!

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