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5 Star Recruit Debating Between Which Powerhouse SEC School He’ll Attend For Free Doesn’t Like All The Pressure And Wishes He Was Only A 1 Star Recruit
Jan 273:40PM EST

Screen shot 2015-01-27 at 11.09.56 AM – Just hours before Chidi Valentine-Okeke was expected to announce his college football commitment Monday night, the offensive tackle had a change of heart.  The 6-foot-6, 305-pounder was all set to pick Alabama, Auburn or LSU on Fox Sports South’s Next Class 2015, but says he needs more time.

“This is a period when I have to make a tough decision in my life,” Valentine-Okeke said during the program. “I feel good, but schools are calling you. It’s hard. I wanted to commit today, but I decided to changed my mind this afternoon. I just want to feel free this week to make the right decision.  These three schools I’m looking at are all great schools. They all have good academics and good football programs. This has to do with me and my God. I always pray to God to direct me in whatever I’m doing. These schools, whichever one I choose, will take me to the next level. I believe in that. I have to give myself a little bit of time to ask God to direct me and to make my decision.”

The Nigerian who has become a standout at Faith Baptist Christian Academy in Ludowici, Ga., visited LSU last weekend. He took trips to Tuscaloosa and Auburn last month and says he believes he’ll make his commitment next Monday, the day before National Signing Day.

“Everybody who has been in my shoes as a 5-star player goes through this process,” Valentine-Okeke said. “Every school is telling you they need you. ‘Come to our school, we love you,’ stuff like that. It’s hard. I know I’m not the first person who ever felt this. 

“I’m a big recruit and get all these phone calls all the time. Sometimes I wish I was a 1-star.”


This right here, this is the darker side of College Football that we don’t see everyday.  Poor kid’s ears have got to be hurting from the phone ringing off the hook day and night with big time college boosters calling to beg him to play for their school.  His arms are getting awfully tired from the duffel bags of cash he’s had to carry around during all his official visits.  And of course #thoughtsandprayers to his dick after a weekend full of LSU sorority groupies, can’t imagine how unpleasant that must have been.  So I know being a 5-star recruit is just terrible, but it’s your cross to bear.  We’re not all lucky enough to be 1 star recruits.

P.S. I wonder where God will tell him to go?  Who do you think he roots for anyway?

Five-Star Tennessee Commit Shows Up To Official Auburn Visit…Staff Asks Him To Leave Early Because He Wore Nothing But Tennessee Gear And Openly Recruited For The Vols The Whole Time
Jan 273:15PM EST

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Rocky Top Insider


Finally, we reported last week that wide receiver commit Preston Williams had planned to visit Auburn over the weekend. Well, Williams did end up making the trip, but ended up leaving the visit a day early. The rumors out of Auburn were that Williams was “being a distraction” and “disrupting the weekend,” but we are hearing that Williams was actually asked to leave by Auburn staff members because he showed up wearing nothing but Tennessee apparel and was actively recruiting other visitors to join him at Tennessee. Not exactly prototypical guest behavior for an official visitor, but that news isn’t likely to upset Vol fans too much.




Such a power move. Sure, you can say it’s classless to have Auburn pay for you and your family to come visit then spend the whole time actively recruiting the entire campus for Tennessee, and you might have a point there.  But this is big time D1 college football, and if I’ve learned one thing from constantly covering the sport year after year, it’s that this shit is as cutthroat as it gets.  You’re not just pledging your time and energy to a program when you sign, you’re giving your heart, your soul, your lifelong fandom until the day you die and get buried in your school colors.  Preston Williams isn’t just talking it he’s living it.  Got to admire that in the young man.

And let’s not act like Auburn doesn’t deserve any of the blame here.  You bring a kid that’s already openly firmly committed to another school trying to flip him instead of offering that spot to a recruit who’s actually interested in you?  I mean all his Instagram pictures are in Vols jerseys posing with Butch Jones for Christ’s sake.  Sorry but don’t act shocked that this happened.

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Erin from Louisville vs. Chaffin from ECU
Jan 272:30PM EST

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Erin from Louisville










Chaffin from ECU 











1 for Erin…5 for Chaffin


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (180 votes, average: 2.81 out of 5)
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Recruit’s Dad Throws Michigan Staff Out Of His House For Insinuating His Son Was Stupid #TheHarbaughEffect
Jan 271:55PM EST

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ANN ARBOROn Monday night, Michigan made one more pitch at flipping another Nebraska recruit. But ultimately, three-star defensive end Daishon Neal reaffirmed his commitment to Nebraska live on Omaha’s 1620 The Zone radio station Tuesday morning.

But then things got interesting.

Neal and his family hosted Michigan defensive line coach Greg Mattison in their home Monday, and at first, everything went well. In fact, Neal’s father — Abraham Hoskins Jr., a former college receiver — was leaning toward pushing his son to Michigan.

But then, things changed.

“Michigan was a powerhouse, they came in and they stormed us, they made one bad statement and it was over,” Hoskins told 1620 on air. “They said without football, Daishon wouldn’t be able to go to Michigan. Like we couldn’t afford to send him there, or that we couldn’t get him in academically.

“Once he said that, we pretty much escorted him out of the house.”

Neal continued by stating: “(They) basically tried to call me stupid in front of my face.”

The top player in the state of Nebraska, Neal — a 6-foot-7, 250-pounder — also had offers from Oklahoma, Arkansas, Iowa and Oregon.

Neal did not make a visit to Michigan at any time during the process.

“I was leaning towards Michigan, with their academics, stats, everything,” Hoskins said. “What if he never played again in his life, that degree could have taken him anywhere.”




Big time start to the Harbaugh era.  Walk into a recruit’s house, call him dumb and/or poor, and get immediately tossed out on your ass by his father.  #TheHarbaughEffect


Listen I’m not an expert recruiter or anything (but then again neither is anyone at Michigan apparently), but I know this.  You do nothing but verbally suck his dick from the second you walk in the door to the second you walk out.  Kids these days have so much thrown at them, all the perks and benefits and groupies, you got to really light it up in there to get a kid to consider going up to Michigan.  I don’t care if this kid is the dumbest motherfucker in the state of Nebraska, I don’t care if he got a 400 on the SAT just for spelling his name correctly.  You treat him like Albert god damn Einstein and promise him every starting spot he can handle.  That’s how you turn shit around in Ann Arbor.





h/t Lost Letterman

Missouri College Girl Tianna “KO” Camous Just Absolutely FLATTENING Chicks In Rugby
Jan 271:25PM EST

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BRTianna Camous plays rugby for Lindenwood University in Missouri, and the girl can certainly hit. Camous has the nickname “KO,” and you can certainly see why when you watch this newly released compilation video.



Here comes the…here comes the…(y’all don’t really want it now) BOOM!  - Nelly




Remember those blogs where I made fun of women’s sports?  Nope, no you don’t, and if Tianna “KO” Camous asks I’ll deny I even work here.






Seriously, not trying to get my spine broken into eighths.






Reminds me of those Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercials only instead of some gigantic black man it’s a probably really nice and sweet college girl.



The Dudes Who Run The Texas and Texas A&M Fan Pages Got In A Massive Twitter Bitch Fight
Jan 2712:45PM EST

The characters:

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Geoff Ketchum, publisher of Texas fan site, “Complete football, basketball, baseball and recruiting coverage and breaking news of the University of Texas Longhorns.”




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Billy Liucci, co-owner of, “Articles on the Aggies football team and its recruiting.”


Subject of discussion:


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4-star QB Kyler Murray, who committed to A&M in May but is now getting a big push from Texas.   



Begin scene:

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If you thought the intensity of college football rivalries didn’t extend to the reporters covering it, you just don’t know the South.  Now consider we’re talking about the state of Texas, with two big time Texas programs fighting over a Texas kid?  Honestly the only thing I’d be shocked about is if these two DIDN’T meet up somewhere to settle this with a fist fight.


And for the record this is the stuff Ketchum was talking about regarding Liucci partying with Manziel and rooting for A&M:


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Snow Day Playlists
Jan 2712:00PM EST

Cold day, hot playlists.  As per usual, you’re welcome.

Beers & Dips

Beers and Dips White

Chill Beats and Medical Treats


Nowhere Fast

Nowhere fast 2

Top 100 Songs of 2014


90′s Music Throwdown

90s music throwdown

Dose of Dopeness


Gone Country

Gone Country


Dude Sends His Tinder Match A 7 Page Essay Explaining Why His Penis Should Qualify For Her
Jan 2711:15AM EST

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When it comes to the existence of objects that have morphed and changed, in part
due to their perception throughout the course of history, it does not take long before one
begins to consider objects of exceedingly long, cylindrical, and rounded nature. The reader
has but to consider the iconically Ionic columns of the Parthenon, the obelisks of ancient
Egypt, or the steles of Persia before realizing the true extent to which such objects have
been the focus of ancient, and present, attention.

However, before delving further into the content of this essay, it is necessary to
consider the historical context. What is the importance of these cylindrical forms? What is
their significance? How great is their prevalence? It is possible to argue, simply, that they
are convenient structural forms which provide sufficient support to architectural constructs
such as temples? Returning closer to reality, it must be necessary to also answer the
question of present attention that must be paid to such objects, living or inhuman in nature.
Just because ancient anthropological study suggests that, for centuries of time before,
these shapes (hereafter referred to as “Phallic forms” due to their striking resemblance to
the male member) and their representative bodily shape (the aforementioned male form)
have been readily worshipped, utilized, and indeed used to represent power and the secular
sacred, does not necessarily suggest that they ought to continue to be thusly treated.

To begin, let us consider the prevalence of such phallic forms in the true reality of
history, and then consider the philosophical implications of this prevalence in the context of
Plato’s forms. It does not take a highly educated person to realize the historical extent of
these Phallic forms. Let us begin first of all in Ancient Egypt with the Obelisks. These
monumental shapes were tall, four-sided towers that rose and culminated in a pyramid.
Obelisks were placed out in front of places of great ritual, such as temples or places of
worship, be it of the Egyptian Gods or of the Pharaoh himself. Obelisks, therefore,
represented the interconnection of the divine form with the human form.

To visit a place wherein a obelisk stood was to visit the place of God on earth. Such a powerful association
foreshadows the great importance of the Phallic form throughout history.

However, when considering the Obelisk, it is possible to note that whereas the true
Phallic Form is curvaceous and rounded, the Egyptian obelisk is sharp and pointed, less
indicative of the Phallus as it is a mere act of defiance to the skies. Herein, then, lies the
true point of interest…


Full Essay on Dropbox




Ok first of all the person who wrote this essay isn’t the person who got the original Tinder match.  It’s some random dude on Reddit who saw that request and decided to take an hour and write it for him.  Just so we’re clear, you may have thought writing a 7 page single spaced MLA formatted word document about your dick was the weirdest thing ever, but no – being an internet stranger writing a 7 page single spaced MLA formatted word document about ANOTHER DUDE’S dick trying to get HIM laid is the weirdest thing ever.  I mean isn’t that the whole point of this Tinder thing and all these apps?  That it’s supposed to be super easy to get laid?  Somebody asks you for a senior thesis on your cock complete with full bibliography, you swipe em out and move on to the next.  Some airhead you can buy one drink for at the bar then take home, not one demanding a dissertation of the worthiness of your penis complete with historical construct.

…Having said that I’ve got to say the writing is pretty impressive and definitely informative.  Didn’t expect to learn so much about Plato’s Forms and Egyptian Obelisks this early on a Tuesday morning.  Hope the guy at least gets his phallus sucked for the effort.

Rate This University of Maine Hockey Trash Talk Sign
Jan 2710:50AM EST

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ORONO, Maine A large white banner with the University of New Hampshire’s Wildcats mascot and a large pink cardboard cutout of a male sex organ were confiscated from the student section at Friday night’s University of Maine men’s hockey game.

“The signs in question were confiscated when brought to the attention of UMaine event officials,” Margaret Nagle, UMaine spokeswoman, said Saturday. “Event officials were alerted and removed the signs within minutes of the start of the game.”

Even with the quick removal, images and a video of the inappropriate sign and the UNH mascot banner, which were made to interact by their holders, were posted on social media websites.



I give it an A.  That’s a big time shit talk sign.  Only loses a + due to lack of detail on the penis, feel like it becomes a lot more disturbing and effective when you put the hair and veins all over it.  A big veiny triumphant bastard to really let UNH know how you feel about them.



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Other than that, great school spirit from the Black Bears.

Two College Students Make A Porn Together As Their Final Thesis…Immediately Given an F and Arrested
Jan 2710:15AM EST

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Daily Mail - Two Turkish university students who filmed a porn movie for their dissertation say they underwent a ‘four-year nightmare’ after being arrested for their course work.

Photographer Deniz Özgün, 26, and Elif Safak Urucu, 25, were dragged off and interrogated after education officials reported their dissertation work to police.

Despite having had their idea approved by academics at Bilgi University, Istanbul, the dissertation was instantly marked as a fail upon completion, and the pair were arrested a few days later.

Mr Özgün and Ms Urucu said they had been treated like criminals and subjected to a four-year nightmare of court cases before finally being acquitted this month.

‘I discussed everything with my academic leaders before going ahead, I told them quite clearly that we wanted to make a pornographic film in order to show how synthetic the sexual scenes in it were,’ Mr Özgün, now a professional photographer and designer, told an Istanbul court.

Mr Özgün and Ms Urucu said they had been forced to go into hiding after the university was flooded with hate mail.

The two explained in court how they had undergone a nightmare over the last four years and added that in addition the ordeal was unlikely to end.



Kind of tough to fully understand this story.  Like how were these girls given permission by professors and academic advisors to do this, then immediately arrested and given an F?  Can’t really think of a good explanation for that without all the court documents in front of me.  Only thing I can think of is maybe they didn’t know that the students would be the ones who were actually starring in it?


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Maybe they were under the impression they’d just be directing and filming a live action lesbian fantasy porn starring like, Tori Black and Asa Akira?  Could have been a simple mixup in communications during the thesis discussion, these guys thinking they’re about to be treated to some professional porn stars reenacting their favorite girl-on-girl Youjizz scenes, end up with eyeballs full of these two doing naked fetish shit.  You might overreact and call the police too.  I don’t know, just a theory.   Only thing I know for sure is that handing in an approved dissertation of you naked having sex and having the reception being a failed grade and a trip to prison has got to be the biggest blow to your self confidence EVER.