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High School Football Player Goes Right Joystick: Up

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Sep 1711:20AM EST

 

 

 

Truck Stick like you read about in the Madden user manual.   Kind of surprised it worked so well though.   First time I’ve seen jumping as high as you can in the air and trying to hug someone not working as a tackling tactic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS – Good effort #5.

Wake Forest Puts Recruits On Magazine Covers With Kim Kardashian And Selena Gomez

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Sep 1710:50AM EST

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Say what you want about Wake Forest football, say they haven’t been winning a ton of games, say they haven’t had a winning season since ’08,  say their quarterbacks get hammered drunk and drive their trucks onto the quad looking for late night Subway.  But don’t say they don’t know how to recruit.  Seriously all anybody talks about is Saban and Franklin and all the other big name coaches and how awesome they are at recruiting.   When’s the last time one of them got a prospect on the cover of People magazine with Kim Kardashian?  Never seen a Bama commit on a cover with Selena Gomez.  Just sayin.

 

 

 

 

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Penn State Fans Having A “Joe-Out” For The UMass Game

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Sep 1710:10AM EST

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Centre Daily - There’s going to be a “Joe-out.”  Wait, what’s a Joe-out?

Laurie Anne Stannell, a fourth-generation Penn State grad, wanted to see something happen to show support for late former head coach Joe Paterno. It had to be something peaceful and happy, and something that, first and foremost, said “Joe.”

Beaver Stadium has a long history of white-outs to rally the troops for big games. This year, it will be the Oct. 25 game against intense rival Ohio State. In 2011, in the heat of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, the blue outs started, with fans showing support, and raising money, for victims of child sexual abuse. The 2014 blue-out will be Nov. 29 against Michigan State.

But on Saturday, as Penn State meets the University of Massachusetts for the second home game of the season, alumni and fans like Stannell and others want to see Paterno everywhere they turn.

“We want to make an impact, as Joe would say,” Stannell said.

 

 

 

A Joe-Out!  That’s a new one.  Think this lady will be there in her khakis and blue tie and rimmed glasses?

 

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Probably front row, maybe even painted like the campus Joe Pa statue.   Penn State man, what a kooky bunch.  Don’t tell them it’s time to move on.  Don’t tell them it’s time to get past all this and maybe start paying their respects to their new coach working his ass off to bring PSU back to their glory days.  That would just make you a Happy Valley hater and a scandalous libelous blasphemous bastard.

 

 

 

PS – I bet Keith Law’s inbox was fun last night.

 

 

 

Bro Gets Robbed At Gunpoint…His GoPro Records It All

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Sep 179:30AM EST

 

 

 

Mike Graziano - I was on a bike tour in a rough part of Buenos Aires (Argentina) in broad daylight when a thief attempted to steal my camera gear at gunpoint. I miraculously happened to be recording with a gopro on my forehead and captured this amazing piece of footage!!

But this won’t stop us from visiting all 195 countries and getting that Global Degree! More EPIC footage coming soon.

 

 

 

Whoa, some creepy looking villain just robbed this guy in broad daylight, all while he was recording it with his GoPro camera and got crystal clear footage of the entire thing…how convenient for the TV show he’s filming!

 

 

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Subscribe NOW for more EPIC footage!  Listen I’m not calling this dude a flat out liar, just saying, if he took a bullet to the shoulder or something it would have been a lot more believable.   Come on now.  I know all the Youtube tricks in the book.  Show me some blood and carnage or I’ll be skeptical forever.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Rachel from Arizona State

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Sep 179:00AM EST

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Introducing Rachel from ASU.  Arizona State, back again to brighten up your Tuesday.

 

 

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Tchami – Untrue

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Sep 169:00PM EST

Not exactly new, but if this isn’t the hottest shit I’ve heard in a minute I’ll hang up my blogging shoes.  Tchami for President.

First Round Of Blackouts Is Over, Now On To Hartford and Worcester To Wreak Havoc

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Sep 167:30PM EST

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October 24th and 25th we will be headed to Hartford and Worcester to take over the Webster Theatre and The Palladium and we are fucking psyched. The Massachusetts and Connecticut shows are always the BEST shows have. They sell out every time and I guess they just love to black the fuck out and party. So do we which makes this a cant miss stop on the tour. Worcester we’re coming for you October 24th and Hartford the 25th. Buy your tickets now because these will sell out!

 

Barstool Blackout: Worcester – The Palladium – Friday October 24th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW )

Barstool Blackout: Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW)

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Madison from Ursinus

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Sep 165:30PM EST

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Introducing Madison from Ursinus.  Who?  Where?   All I know is this is how you close out a Tuesday.

 

 

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OkCupid Bro Completely Overreacts To Chick Not Texting Him Back And Is Now Being Internet Shamed

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Sep 165:00PM EST

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Jezebel – A reader emailed us this text exchange that occurred after she went on a “nice” but otherwise not noteworthy first date with a man she met on OkCupid. Afterwards they texted briefly, but she had plans (and also wasn’t sure if she wanted to see him again) so didn’t respond to two subsequent texts he sent over the following few days. After the last message, he didn’t take her radio silence as an indication to cool it; instead, he sent her another text chastising her for not wanting to go out with him because she is a “self involved princess.”

 

 

It’s pretty hard to defend a guy who tries to book a date with “Care to grab a libation tomorrow night?” (though obviously given my writing style I do have a soft spot for him dropping needless SAT words) but here it is: This dude sucks, 1000%. But you know whose fault it is? Society’s. Not his. He’s never had to deal with the anxiety of calling some chick’s house and awkwardly asking if he can talk to Becky Sue in the hopes of finger banging her. He doesn’t know a world where you have to date a girl for MONTHS on the off chance she’s putting out. He’s just some try-hard idiot whom this chick should have been able to sniff out as being a tool immediately. A guy doesn’t all of a sudden lose his shit in a hissy fit after just two hours of non-reply without some serious defects and some bright neon signs to point it out; girl chose to ignore it or isn’t good enough to pick it up. Your fault, lady, not Cyrano de Bergerac over here’s.

 

 

Also, this guy’s an absolute psychopath but “spree of lunatics have sugared their egos at my expense” is some fucking home run prose that I find impossible to hate on. So sick of chicks always sugaring their egos on me. Men are more than sweet confections to top off the ice cream sundae that is your misguided feminism, I’ve been saying that for years. Women need to learn about it. Women also need to learn to buy thesauruses if they’re going to text with me and this dude. Triple word score pussy for days.

Jameis Winston Stands On A Table And Screams “Fuck Her Right In The Pussy” In The Middle of FSU Campus

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Sep 164:40PM EST

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Is being like 1 month too late on the Fuck Her Right In The Pussy movement not the most Jameis move ever?  So Jameis.   Such a try hard.

Also, when the heat is on you for being immature and/or you are dodging rape allegations, probably refrain from yelling about fucking things in the pussy.