Older people are bad at the Internet, not really treading new ground with that revelation. But some sort of time-bending comment about how if you were 30 years younger you’d be sticking it to your own teenage daughter? Very bold move, huge step up from a bumper sticker about being proud of your daughter on honor roll. But that’s 2014 for you. We’re getting dumber every year while social media photos are all the rage and getting sluttier every minute. So you might as well get some satisfaction from your kid excelling at a field where so many people are out there putting in work. She may be getting Cs in school but as long as she’s showing off some solid Cs online better than her friends, a dad’s got to have something to brag about. Sounds like the Father of the Year award just got sealed up. Way to adapt, pops.
I have to point out that this may just be some genius next level parenting right here. Don’t want your daughter showing off her prominent pubis and jugs on social media? Just comment about how you’d totally stick it to her if you were her age, maybe throw something in one of those jizz emojis the kids use while you’re at it. Instant way to get her back on track. There’s a 30% chance it’d send her to a nunnery but at least she’s not flashing beef for Instagram hearts. In a world where a substantial amount of Internet content ends with us saying “Never have a daughter,” it seems like a play that’s worth the risk. More importantly, if this is the case, I really think this dad needs to ascend to some sort of leadership position immediately. Dad chess going on while everyone else is playing slutty daughter checkers.