USA - Cable’s WE network has just announced the greenlighting of Sex Box, a show that promises to feature couples having sex in a box on the set. The network says the series, produced by Relativity Television and adapted from a U.K. series (of course), “is an extreme therapy reality concept.”
Here’s how it goes:
Couples discuss their relationship issues with a panel of experts.
Then they “retire to a camera-free, soundproof” box on set to have sex.
While in there, a panel of experts will talk about them, discussing their initial observations and pondering whether the duo’s relationship will survive.
Then the couple must “emerge to immediately discuss their experiences in the box.”
No mention of how long they will be expected/allowed to spend in the box, but WE points out that an important “cuddle hormone” will factor into it all:
Scientists and researchers cite that people are more trusting and open in the moments immediately after sex due to the body’s natural release of oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” As a result, post coital couples therapy is more powerful and effective.
Wait you can’t actually watch the people have sex? They go in some shut off camera free soundproofed box to do it while we hear relationship advice from experts? Holy shit, not to throw hyperbole around, but I mean this literally: Worst TV show ever.
And I’m not just talking about for people to watch. I mean the contestants also. Seriously every other contestant on a show at least gets a shot at winning a ton of cash or cars or big prizes. Sure they may get humiliated and may have to go through some embarrassing stuff but at the end of the day there’s a chance you’ll be rich and possibly even famous. But an “extreme therapy” show? Where your entire relationship is analyzed on TV to millions of viewers while you’re stuck in a box and forced to have sex? And they’re monitoring how much you cuddle with a cuddle hormone monitor? Jesus. Plus how about when you’re done in your usual 1 minute and 30 seconds and either have to come out before the timer hits 2 minutes, or convince your wife (who probably hates your guts since you’re on this show in the first place) to stay in there longer with you to make it look good. Emasculation city. Not even joking they need to monitor and background check the shit out of anyone who willingly signs up to be on Sex Box because we’re talking about some real psychopaths right there.
At least we get some “exit interviews” when they’re done though. How was your experience in the box? How do you think it was? We did missionary for 3 minutes while I stared into a pillow and she looked at the ceiling probably thinking about what Bravo show she was going to fire up on the DVR when we were done then she yelled at me for finishing on her sheets instead of the towel she brought over. We’re on a fucking relationship therapy TV show.