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Alabama Dad Surprised With Tickets To The Sugar Bowl From His Kids For Christmas

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Dec 272:04PM EST

 

 

Love these videos.  Also makes it 100X more awesome when you consider an Alabama fan getting tickets to an Alabama football game is the equivalent of me and you getting like $100K cash in our stockings.

My favorite part though is how you can totally relate to this guy’s “oh shit I hate this gift and it’s the worst thing I ever got for Christmas but I have to pretend I like it for my family” face when he first opens it.  Oh a bowl of sugar.  Cool.   Merry fucking Christmas.

 

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Much better.

 

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Chelsea Handler Simply Refuses To Stop Posting Her Surprisingly Solid Titties On Instagram And Twitter

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Dec 2710:27AM EST

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NSFW here and here

 

 

Why does Chelsea Handler keep dropping her 40-year-old MILFy without being a mom titties and ass all over the place? No clue. She said it was something about feminism before but now I’m starting to think it’s some sort of voyeurism/getting off on people watching her kind of deal, which absolutely makes it even hotter. All I know is that every single time I see them I think “Wow, not too bad” and that’s more than enough for me. Though apparently the people in the background of the first pic disagree. Yeah nature’s beautiful and majestic and whatever but there’s a famous woman topless behind you, at least give her the dignity of a glance and a “Niiiice.”

 

Still, Chelsea’s practically begging for nipple hypothermia with these pictures. First you have to set up the shot, then you have to get a couple takes in for the best look, all in subzero temperatures? That’s how surprisingly decent middle aged titties end up ruined from being stuck to a pole like A Christmas Story.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Sydney from University of Idaho

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-smokeshow-of-the-day-sydney-from-university-of-idaho%2F
Dec 265:00PM EST

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Introducing Sydney from Idaho.  It may be Christmas hours but we’re still busting out the big guns for smoke of the day.

 

 

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Erin Andrews Is The Master Of Twitter Comebacks

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Ferin-andrews-is-the-master-of-twitter-comebacks%2F
Dec 263:45PM EST

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Oh you emailed Fox Sports, Lauren? Well maybe next time..you should SEND AN EMAIL INSTEAD. Boom. Roasted. You don’t subtweet Erin Andrews and get away with it, no sir. She’s had a whole lot of people gunning for the throne over the years as the top kinda-credible-but-mostly-just-hot lady sports reporter. But you don’t hold that crown without being able to scrap with anyone and everyone, even if it’s just some random chick with 1,000 followers tweeting about you. Haters gonna hate, victims of competent yet invasive peep hole videography riding the attention to way more success than they would have otherwise gotten gonna slate.

 

 

 

(via @bustedcoverage)

Guy Who Paid Off His Parents’ Mortgage For Their Christmas Present Just Destroyed What You Gave Your Loved Ones

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fguy-who-paid-off-his-parents-mortgage-for-their-christmas-present-just-destroyed-what-you-gave-your-loved-ones%2F
Dec 2612:20PM EST

Gawker – Joe Riquelme built the popular iPhone video editing app Videoshop, and his project has been so successful that he was able to surprise his parents this Christmas by paying off their mortgage.

 

 

This is obviously great for this family, the dude, and it’s a beautiful Christmas moment. You can’t hear the mom cry and not respect and feel something with all of that. But I’m not entirely sure why everyone online is going nuts over this video. I had a great Christmas, spent time with family and gave some well-received gifts, travel was relatively painless, got a crockpot, really 100 all around. Then I see this guy here just fucking smashing all the gifts we exchanged in the face and changing his parents’ lives and I feel like a real dickhead. Even if his parents are living in a shithole he basically just dropped like 20 large on them and completely changed their lives for the better whether they were broke or middle class. Great for them, awesome gift, but completely undermines everything that just filled my heart with Christmas spirit. Thanks for overachieving, Joe.

 

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Then again I guess if your dad looks like the Santa on a holiday version of full-sugar Mexican Coca Cola, you should be held to a different standard than the rest of us.

Rate This Dude’s Jameis Winston/FSU Tattoo

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Frate-this-dudes-jameis-winstonfsu-tattoo%2F
Dec 2611:50AM EST

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Think about your family, your friends, your dog, your girlfriend or wife, every single thing you love in the world, now times it by 20 and add 100 – that’s how much this dude loves Jameis Winston.

 

College football, it’s not a game, it’s a way of life.  Thursday can’t come soon enough.

 

 

 

 

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hihaterz1

If You’re A Chick Dropping A Hot Instagram Pic On Christmas, Might As Well Posterize Your Dad In The Process

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fif-youre-a-chick-dropping-a-hot-instagram-pic-on-christmas-might-as-well-posterize-your-dad-in-the-proces%2F
Dec 2610:45AM EST

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This girl has been a smokeshow on Barstool before and she’s a great follow, booty for days. But more than anything, I love the hustle here whether she’s joking or not. It’s Christmas, you’re looking hot as fuck and letting the 70K dudes who follow you on Instagram know it, might as well just rub your your absentee dad’s face in it in the process. A+ Instagram post all around. And sorry to any of you who have a daughter but the shots fired on pops only adds to the hotness of it all if we’re being honest.

 

 

Most of you degenerates probably weren’t degenerate enough to keep up with the Instagram model chicks grinding away with slutty pictures while you were busy having families and eating mediocre ham so here’s a roundup of what you might have missed (with some of the captions included because they struck me as funny given the circumstance). Needless to say the celebrated birth of our Lord and Savior is a real panty dropper if your business is showing how many spokes your asshole has for Internet likes.

 

 

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One for you too, Canada. Tis the season for giving.

This Chart Showing How Much Everyone In America Drinks Is Going To Make All Of You Feel Like Alcoholics

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Dec 269:48AM EST

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WaPo – Do you drink a glass of wine with dinner every night? That puts you in the top 30 percent of American adults in terms of per-capita alcohol consumption. If you drink two glasses, that would put you in the top 20 percent.

But in order to break into the top 10 percent of American drinkers, you would need to drink more than two bottles of wine with every dinner. And you’d still be below-average among those top 10 percenters.

The top 10 percent of American drinkers – 24 million adults over age 18 – consume, on average, 74 alcoholic drinks per week. That works out to a little more than four-and-a-half 750 ml bottles of Jack Daniels, 18 bottles of wine, or three 24-can cases of beer. In one week. Or, if you prefer, 10 drinks per day.

 

 

The Washington Post casually tweeted out this article and chart at 4PM on Christmas Day with what I presume was the intent to make everyone slugging back booze to make Christmas with their families tolerable question everything about their life choices. Real dick move. We see a lot of these types of “According to science, blah blah blah” news items come through but none of them have made me go “Wait are you fucking serious” like these findings from a book about alcohol control called Paying the Tab. The numbers here are just ridiculous…30% of people don’t drink AT ALL and then another 30% on top of that are just having one drink a week? I guess on some level I can understand the no drinks group, fear, bad experiences with alcohol for themselves or a family member, fine, there’s some logic there. But what the hell is the point of one drink a week? You’re clearly not getting drunk off of it and you don’t seem to enjoy it enough to be drinking for flavor. And when you’re drinking that little there isn’t even the “antioxidant health benefits” of drinking red wine nightly that my Grandma uses as an excuse to slug back a jug of Merlot. Just a total flip flopper thing to do. Either join the rest of us in drinking for the sole purpose of escaping the misery of our very existence or start throwing back Capri Suns and chocolate milk with the rest of the Mormons. No half measures.

 

 

For the top 10th percentile pounding over 10 drinks a day and presumably not even knowing what life is like without being completely plastered or working through a violent hangover, I salute you. You may not be able to hold down a job or family or remember what it’s like to not be leaking aggressive beer shits out of your asshole 24 hours a day but your commitment to greatness is unparalleled. A stint on or off the wagon might be something to consider though.

 

CMU With The Craziest Hail Mary In College Football History In The Bahamas Bowl

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fcmu-with-the-craziest-hail-mary-in-college-football-history-in-the-bahamas-bowl%2F
Dec 243:46PM EST

 

 

 

PANDEMONIUM.

 

Don’t ask me why I was watching the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl live, I don’t have a good answer for you.

 

 

 

PS – Just assumed they’d kick the extra point,  but CMU went for 2 while I was running to my computer to put a play from live TV to Youtube to Blog in 30 seconds.  Fade route?  What an idiot!

Barstool U Christmas Smokeshows – Alexis and Tashy from Miami

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-christmas-smokeshows-alexis-and-tashy-from-miami%2F
Dec 242:00PM EST

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Introducing Alexis and Tashy from Miami.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

 

 

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