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Golden Showers and Giant Potatoes, It’s the Week 1 of Bowl Season Mini Roundup

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Dec 221:20PM EST

It’s Bowl Season bitches!!

 

 

 

Ok not really any games that anybody cares about, unless of course you go to the school, have a son on the team, or are a degenerate gambler.

But we’re a college sports blog so we’re gonna report on the scores real quick damnit.

 

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548 total yards for Utah, that’s a lot of yards, exciting stuff.

 

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Utah State won a Bowl for the 3rd straight year, go nuts Aggies fans.

 

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From 2-10 to 10-3 and winners of the Potato Bowl, talk about a turnaround.

 

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If you weren’t watching the RayCom Media Camellia Bowl at 10 PM on a Saturday night…what the fuck WERE you doing?

 

Anyway that’s out of the way, now on to the more interesting stuff.  Like hot ass Potato Bowl cheerleaders.

 

potato

 

 

Damn…sluts.

 

The Vegas Bowl got the best of this CSU tailgater.

 

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Final Score – Utah 45, Colorado State 10, This Guy -4.

 

 

That awkward moment when your new girlfriend’s parents ask what you do and you say you are the Umbrella Holder for a giant potato.

 

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At least it’s an honest living, the world needs ditch diggers and potato mascot suit water prevention technicians too.

 

Lol, do you get it

 

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Raise your hand if that made you giggle because you’re immature like me.

 

Doesn’t matter how bad the games are, some people just need their college football fix.  Even if they’re in the middle of refereeing a basketball game.

 

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Dan Mullen won Christmas sweaters for the weekend.

 

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KFC probably hates it though.

 

 

 

 

Louisiana Lafayette won their 4th straight New Orleans Bowl.  Why do I care?

 

 

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1, because that’s impressive.

 

2 and more importantly, because poor Brock Hekking is probably on the depression bender to end all benders right now still.

 

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Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014

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Dec 2212:45PM EST

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All 100 in one place for your streaming pleasure, as per usual you’re welcome.  #FreeBobby

Click to stream the Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014

 

a few highlights…

#1 - Drake – 0 To 100

#2 – Taylor Swift – Blank Space

#3 - Zedd – Find You (ft. Matthew Koma & Miriam Bryant)

#4 - Rick Ross – Sanctified (ft. Kanye West & Big Sean)

#5 - Katy Perry (ft. Juicy J) – Dark Horse (Elephante Remix)

#6 - Lana Del Rey – Brooklyn Baby

#8 - Calvin Harris – Outside (ft. Ellie Goulding)

#9 - Iggy Azalea – Fancy (ft. Charli XCX)

#11 - Beyonce – Drunk In Love (The Weeknd Remix)

#12 - Lorde – Tennis Court (Flume Remix)

#13 - Makonnen – Tuesday (Remix ft. Drake)

#16 - Alt-J – Left Hand Free

#21 - Mike WiLL Made-It – Buy The World (ft. Future, Lil Wayne & Kendrick Lamar)

#23 - Skrillex – Recess (ft. Kill The Noise & Fatman Scoop)

#24 - Jeezy – Seen It All (ft. Jay Z)

#31 - ZHU – Faded

#32 - Future – Move That Dope (ft. Pharrell, Pusha T & Casino)

#33 - Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne – Rather Be

#35 - Rae Sremmurd – No Flex Zone

#36 - Chromeo – Jealous (I Ain’t With It)

#41 - Magic! – Rude (Zedd Remix)

#42 - Kendrick Lamar – i

#51 - Hippie Sabotage – Stay High (Tove Lo Flip)

#52 - Bobby Shmurda – Hot Nigga

#61 - Lorde – Team (Elephante Remix)

#62 - PartyNextDoor – Recognize (ft. Drake)

#71 - Rae Sremmurd – No Type

#81 - Goldlink – Sober Thoughts (Prod. Kaytranada)

#82 - Coldplay – A Sky Full Of Stars (ft. Avicii)

#91 - RAC – Cheap Sunglasses (ft. Matthew Koma)

#92 - Ty Dolla $ign – Or Nah (The Weeknd Remix ft. Wiz Khalifa)

Little Kid Writing A Letter To Santa In Character As Bowser From ‘Super Mario’ Should Probably Be On Some Sort of Watch List

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Dec 2212:00PM EST

7Dg5RS7

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A teacher posted this letter to Santa on Reddit from one of his students written as though he’s Bowser while saying it’s an example of how creative and genius the little video game fan kid is. And though empathy is great and all, this kid seems to be a little too in the mind of Bowser for me to be comfortable with it. Justifying the kidnapping of innocent Mushroom Kingdom royal family members and pretending as though it’s “love,” acting like he didn’t have anything to do with the hundreds upon thousands of attempts on Mario’s life, making it seem like we should feel bad for him and his dozens of castles even though 99% of the population seem to be just wandering around homeless before getting stomped to death. Relate to the heroism of Mario, appreciate the loyalty of Toad, understand the struggle of being an unemployed blue collar worker like the Hammer Bros. But Bowser? When you’re an 8-year-old kid able to find this much humanity in the Kim Jong Il of the Nintendo world, you’re pretty much crying out for help and a few therapist sessions in your Christmas stocking.

 

 

Also kid if you’re going to do Bowser fan-art at least put some effort into it like this one. Sick sunglasses, double headed guitar AND a pot leaf behind him? Now this is the kind of Bowser you support mass genocide for.

 

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New Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Arrested For Telling Club Bouncers “I’m Going To My Car To Get My AK-47 and Spray This Place”

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Dec 2211:20AM EST

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Buffalo - Chad Kelly, a former local high school football star who signed a major college football scholarship offer last week, was arrested early Sunday after police say he fought with bouncers trying to evict him and a companion from a downtown bar and restaurant and later scuffled with police.

Kelly, 20, of Niagara Falls, refused to leave Encore at 492 Pearl St. about 3:15 a.m. and punched a bouncer in the face, Buffalo police said. Kelly’s companion, Brandon Hickey, 21, of Clarence, had been thrown out of the bar earlier and tried to re-enter, police said.

Kelly continued to fight with two bouncers and stated “I’m going to go to my car and get my AK-47 and spray this place,” according to a report.

Buffalo police officers responding to that alleged threat stopped a 2005 Ford F-150 pickup truck in which Kelly was a passenger at 458 Pearl.  Kelly was forcibly removed from the vehicle, officers said. Police said Kelly kicked and tried to swing at officers as they removed him from the vehicle. They said he resisted getting into a patrol vehicle and struggled with staff at central booking.

Kelly faces multiple charges including third-degree assault, second-degree harassment, second-degree menacing, resisting arrest, fourth-degree criminal mischief and second-degree obstructing governmental administration. Kelly was arraigned later in Buffalo City Court and released without bail to await further court proceedings.

Chad Kelly, nephew of Buffalo Bills great Jim Kelly, signed a scholarship offer with the University of Mississippi on Wednesday. He had previously signed with Clemson after a record-setting career at St. Joe’s.

 

 

Chad Kelly, love this guy.  Total loose cannon.  Last time we heard from him he was getting kicked off the Clemson team for rear ending Miss South Carolina’s car. (And also having like 150 team rules violations).    Now we got him threatening a bar with an AK 47 and fighting cops.  Little bit of mass murder at a Buffalo bar on a casual weekend night.  Ole Miss has a real gem on their hands, just hope they know how to harness it.

Oh you don’t believe he’s a next level football player?  Just ask him.

Chad Kelly, SWAG, Under Armour All American SWAG, Doin it big G5 SWAG

 

 

 

WATCH HOW I TOUCHDOWNNNNNN…CHAD KELLY.

Monkey Saves His Monkey Bro’s Life After He Gets Electrocuted On Train Tracks

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Dec 2210:47AM EST

 

 

 

UprxAbove, please find a video from Kanpur, India that depicts a monkey going to great lengths to save his friend’s life. Apparently the injured monkey had been messing around on some wires above the train station in Kanpur and got electrocuted. Enter our hero, who sprung into action by slapping, biting, and slashing water on his patient — for almost five full minutes — until the electrocuted primate started showing signs off life again.

 

 

 

Wish I had a friend in the entire world that cared about me as much as this monkey cares about his monkey bro.  That’s some deep dedicated shit right there.  If I fell on the tracks waiting for the 1 train and landed directly on the third rail my friends would probably be like shit…that sucks….k where’s the next bar again?

Kind of depressing now that I think about it actually.  But I’m not sure I’d get down there either to be honest.  There’s rats and homeless people and shit.  Nobody’s got time for that.

 

 

Jameis Winston Cleared Of All Charges In FSU Student Conduct Hearing

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Dec 2210:15AM EST

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CFT - Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston has been cleared of wrongdoing in his Code of Conduct hearing with the university, his attorney David Cornwell tweeted Sunday.

“In sum, the preponderance of the evidence has not shown that you are responsible for ANY of the charged violations of the Code,” he wrote.

The hearing was held Dec. 3, and a decision was not expected until next month.

Former Florida state supreme court justice Major Harding presided over the case.

“This was a complex case, and I worked hard to make sure both parties had a full and fair opportunity to present information. In sum, the preponderance of the evidence has not shown that you are responsible for any of the charge violations of the Code. Namely, I find that the evidence before me is insufficient to satisfy the burden of proof,” Harding wrote in a letter obtained by USA Today.

“As summarized in the preceding paragraphs, the evidence regarding the events that unfolded between you and (the woman) once in your room is irreconcilable. In light of all the circumstances, I do not find the credibility of one story substantially stronger than that of the other. Both have their own strengths and weaknesses. I cannot find with any confidence that the events as set forth by you, (the woman), or a particular combination thereof is more probable than not as required to find you responsible for a violation of the Code.”

While the alleged 2012 sexual assault will likely follow Winston through the civil courts and the NFL Draft process, it will not bar him from completing this season – and likely his college career.

Florida State’s Code of Conduct says that his accuser can pursue an appeal, but it would not be heard before the Jan. 12 College Football Playoff Championship. Moreover, the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner is widely expected to declare for the NFL Draft by the Jan. 15 deadline.

 

 

 

Teflon Jameis strikes again!   Cue the music!

 

 

 

 

 

Tough to believe this one TBH.  Really thought FSU was going to bring the hammer down.  Ha ha just kidding.

 

 

 

hihaterz

Anonymous Threatens To Release Iggy Azalea’s Sex Tape Today For Making Fun Of Protests

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Dec 229:30AM EST

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Vulture - So this Iggy Azalea–Azealia Banks beef is spinning out of control. Hackers posting under the Twitter handle @TheAnonMessage jumped into the fray, threatening to release still images from an alleged sex tape of Iggy Azalea unless she publicly apologizes to Azealia Banks and the protesters of the #blacklivesmatter movement. The account posted a string of tweets last night saying they would bring Iggy Azalea down further than Bill Cosby, calling her a ” trashy bitch” and promising “a life of suffering” unless she complies with their demands.

 

 

 

Ok here’s the background of the Azalea vs. Azealia beef in case you have some sort of interest in what’s going on with this story or just want to be able to follow along:

 

 

 

During an emotional 47-minute interview with Hot 97, Azealia Banks explained her much-publicized problems with Iggy Azalea and the music industry in general with regard to how it treats black recording artists.

“I feel, just like in this country, whenever it comes to our things, like black issues or black politics or black music or whatever, there’s always this undercurrent of kind of like a, ‘Fuck you,’” Banks told Ebro in the Morning hosts Ebro Darden and Peter Rosenberg. “There’s always like a, ‘Fuck y’all, niggas. Y’all don’t really own shit. Y’all don’t have shit.’”

“That Iggy Azalea shit isn’t better than any fucking black girl that’s rapping today, you know?” Banks said. “When they give those awards out — because the Grammys are supposed to be accolades of artistic excellence, you know what I mean? Iggy Azalea is not excellent. [...] When they give these Grammys out, all it says to white kids is: ‘Oh yeah, you’re great, you’re amazing, you can do whatever you put your mind to.’ And it says to black kids: ‘You don’t have shit. You don’t own shit, not even the shit you created for yourself,’ and it makes me upset.”

“Everybody knows that the basis of modern capitalism is slave labor. The selling and trading of these slaves. There are fucking huge corporations that are caking off that slave money and shit like that. So until y’all motherfuckers are ready to talk about what you owe me,” she said while breaking down in tears. “At the very fucking least, you owe me the right to my fucking identity. And to not exploit that shit. That’s all we’re holding on to with hip-hop and rap.”  [HuffPo]

 

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And here’s the only part that I care about:

 

 

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WarlikeSpitefulAzurevase

 

 

 

 

Have absolutely 0 interest in a discussion and debate on racism in America and the cultural and social implications of rap music.  Not sure wtf Anonymous is so mad about from all that but whatever, not looking to get into it on this cold rainy Monday morning before Christmas.  All I know is that an Iggy sex tape would be a holiday miracle.  Need to see an Iggy sex tape.  Gotta have it.  Sure I’d prefer she release it herself instead of having her privacy invaded by hackers, but sex tape beggars can’t be choosers.  It’s a grind right now trying to make it to the break, Iggy getting illegal things done to that ass wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to help pass some of the time.

 

 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Anna from New Mexico State

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Dec 229:05AM EST

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Introducing Anna from NM State.  Only a couple days until we dip out for the long holiday break…let’s make the smokes count!

 

 

 

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Louisville’s Montrezl Harrell Is Throwing Haymakers On A Casual Saturday Afternoon

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Dec 201:15PM EST

Hold me back, bro!  Hold me back!

 

NBC Sports - Louisville and Western Kentucky got into a bit of a scrap late in the first half of their game on Saturday afternoon, and it looked like Montrezl Harrell threw a punch.  Harrell was ejected from the game. He will be suspended for Tuesday’s game against Cal State-Northridge. He will be eligible when No. 1 Kentucky comes to the Yum! Center next Saturday.

Well, kind of.  I don’t think he really even caught that Blake Griffin looking dude with the punch, more or less just grazed him.  Either way, this is what basketball is missing.  Everybody complains how soft it is these days.  How it needs more grit to it.  Well this is a solid start.  Also thank God he’ll be back next Saturday because Kentucky at Louisville is going to be appointment television.

P.S. I like how the ref pretends to get hit also.  Sorry man but I’ve got no sympathy for you until you’re dead on the hardwood with your eyes still open.  I’ve seen too much this season, just desensitized now.

Barstool U Friday Smokeshow – Christina from the University of Washington

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Dec 195:30PM EST

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Introducing Christina from U Washington.  Have a good one!

 

 

 

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