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University of Texas Frat Pledges Arrested For Threatening To Kill Everyone In A Classroom While Dressed As Tom and Jerry

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Sep 191:50PM EST

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(Reddit)

Dumbest pledge activity I’ve ever heard of happened today

This is at the University of Texas – Austin, btw.

My fraternity brother was sitting in class when two dudes dressed as Tom and Jerry walk in. The class and professor laugh, whatever this kinda stuff happens occasionally. Suddenly, the guy dressed as Jerry grabs a piece of chalk and writes “Yall are dead” on the board then both Tom and Jerry stare at the class in silence.

Dead silence for 15 seconds, everyone is scared as fuck thinking they are about to pull out weapons, the professor is freaking out, a couple girls started crying. The dumbasses then left and were later arrested and the cops told my bro and his class that they were pledging a fraternity.

 

(U Texas Campus Watch)

MEZES HALL, 154 West 21st Street

Disrupting a Meeting or Procession / Assault by Contact / Criminal Trespass / Criminal Trespass Warning:

The UT Police Department responded to a call of two subjects dressed in costumes. The cat and mouse were reported as dancing around the South Mall prior to entering Mezes Hall classrooms where they disrupted classes that were in session. The two were accompanied by two other non-UT subjects who were capturing their tales on video.

The four were later located inside the PCL Library engaging in the same Tom and Jerry foolery. The investigation revealed one of the four subjects had previously received a written criminal trespass warning. That subject was also reported to have run his hand down the back of a female student inside a Mezes classroom.

The two cartoons were found to have disrupted a meeting or procession when they stopped educational classes in session. They were subsequently taken to jail.

 

 

 

 

 

Dressing up like cartoon characters and threatening to shoot up a classroom.  Soooooo frat.    Got to imagine this is a tough one to explain to your parents too.  Like most parents are expecting the call from jail for some bail money when their kids go off to college.  What did you do honey, underage drinking?  Public intoxication?  Urinating in an alley?   No mom we dressed up as life sized Tom and Jerry…yeah, the cartoon cat and mouse…and walked around campus stealing bicycles and doing yoga and groping girls in class, oh and then we wrote on the board that we were going to kill everyone, as a prank you know?    That’s exactly why you have kids…for the moments like this when they make you so proud you can’t even stand it.

 

 

 

 

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Disclosure – Latch (Remix ft. ScHoolboy Q)

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdisclosure-latch-remix-ft-schoolboy-q%2F
Sep 191:10PM EST

Every rapper wants to get in on the Sam Smith action. Last week it was Rocky with his “I’m Not The Only One” remix and today it’s Groovy Q giving a quick 16 on the song that never dies. Jump to 2:50 for the new stuff.

More ScHoolboy Q | More Disclosure

Introducing Dondre Harris The 7 Foot 380 Pound D Lineman

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fintroducing-dondre-harris-the-7-foot-380-pound-d-lineman%2F
Sep 1912:40PM EST

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MaxPreps - Harris is a 7-foot, 380-pound defensive lineman for the small, public high school located about 45 miles northwest of Richmond. He spent time on the offensive line a year ago, and according to Essex head coach John Fulks, is a starter at defensive tackle for Essex.

To put Brown’s uncanny size in perspective, the tallest player in the 2014 NFL Draft was defensive tackle Daniel McCullers, now of the Pittsburgh Steelers, who now checks in at 6-7, 360 pounds.

According to Fulks, Harris has yet to receive much attention from colleges coaches. 

 

 

 

 

Jesus how bad does this kid have to suck at playing football to not be getting attention from college coaches?  In a sport that thrives on recruiting size a 7 foot 380 pounder can’t even get a look.  Kind of strange.  I mean I get that he’s probably slow as shit.  Definitely awkward and immobile and can’t breathe after 2 plays.    But the dude goes to some tiny ass school in fucking Bumfuck Virginia.  He’s like 16 years old.   Get him in a D1 weight room with a strength coach and conditioning coach and full staff of 150 professional trainers and you could basically churn Drago out of him.  Seriously Les, Franklin, Saban, where you at man?  Get your asses up to Essex, there’s a behemoth on the loose pancaking motherfuckers with no offers on the table yet.

 

 

 

 

h/t Teejay

ESPN’s Matt Schick and Jason Sehorn Getting A Little Bit Heated During Jameis Winston Debate

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Sep 1912:10PM EST

 

(via StarbucksRebel)

 

 

Get em Sehorn!  Always love when these ESPN things get super testy.  Everyone always so used to being professional and kissing each other’s asses and sticking to their script the producer gives them.  Great to watch them squirm when things start getting heated.

 

As for the suspension I’m sick of talking about it but it’s just not going away until after the game at the very least.   I mean it’s obvious what’s going on here.  That everyone is just using this as basically a reverse “lifetime achievement” award.  Like we couldn’t get you for the rape or the BB guns or the theft so we’re just all going to pile on with this “fuck her right in the pussy” thing.  That’s fine I guess.  As Bunk tells Omar in his jail cell, if this body isn’t on you there are two dozen out there that are.  But if we’re going just based off this one instance, by itself, it is literally the most OUTRAGEOUS overreaction I’ve ever seen in all my years of interneting.  Sehorn hit the nail on the head.  Being accused of sexual assault behind closed doors has no relation to being a 20 year old college kid repeating an internet meme in front of your friends trying to be funny.

 

 

 

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Did J Lo Use A Booty Double For The ‘Booty’ Music Video With Iggy Azalea?

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Sep 1911:15AM EST

 

 

Big Cat blogged the full video when it came out last night, Kmarko blogged some screenshots from the teaser and the Internet’s praise has been singular: “Jennifer Lopez has still got it! Wow, what an ass on a 45-year-old woman! etc etc” But when I saw all the quick cuts and faceless shots (I may have watched the video once or twice let’s say), I thought to myself that this HAS to be a body double because, really, what chick almost going into menopause looks like that? So here’s the case for and against.

 

THE CASE FOR J LO USING A BOOTY DOUBLE

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Notice a trend amongst all of these shots from the first half of the video? Yep, no J Lo face in any of them. In fact, the only her face does appear is when she dances and twirls in the white shirt which, conveniently, mostly covers her butt. Odd video direction choices? Or perhaps just clever masking of the fact they used a much younger butt in the video so we’d all fawn over J Lo and be impressed by her surprisingly taut Maid in Manhattan cheeks?

 

It’s also more than a little suspicious the only other time you see her face and butt in the same shot is when she’s doing this position:

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Granted, I don’t take many photos of myself pelvic thrusting the shit out of Casper the Friendly Ghost but I’m feeling like any of our asses would look this good clenched and being pulled upwards. Call it a hunch.

 

 

INCONCLUSIVE PROOF THAT COULD GO EITHER WAY

 

 

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Another shot with J Lo’s face and her butt in the same frame and, conveniently enough, it’s another angle where her thighs will look nice and tight PLUS the bonus of having fishnets covering up any potential worlds of hurt. Very suspect BUT the butt is definitely looking juicy so maybe her little girl from The Ring crawl is just proof that my concerns are for naught.

 

 

THE CASE FOR THIS ACTUALLY BEING J LO’S BUTT

 

 

booty-smacks

 

This. This is a 45 year old woman’s ass being slapped. HAS TO be. See the little bit of sagging on the bottom, the slight reverberation on the slap that says this is a butt who’s seen some things and men that may or may not have said “Uh huh yeeeuh” while ejaculating onto it in its day. And because she’s wearing the same outfit, psychologically, I’m more inclined to believe this one with juuuust a hint of dumpiness in the thighs is actually J Lo too:

 

shakeitshakeit

 

 

FINAL CONCLUSION

 

If I had to bet my life on it, A) I’d wonder what made a person opting to kill me do that for such a bizarre gamble and B) I think J Lo used a body double for the majority of the video but then had to do the one bare-assed take with Iggy in the hallway just because the video director was like “Yeah, people will 100% know this isn’t you if you don’t have any shots with your face and butt directly in them and any ones you are in, you’re covering yourself with stockings. It would completely sabotage the artistic vision of a video for a song called ‘Booty.’”

 

 

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I also could have probably saved time if I just counted the rings on this screengrab.

Parents of Sean Maguire Are Missing His First Start vs. Clemson Because They Sold Their Tickets

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Sep 1910:45AM EST

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The big break Sean Maguire has been waiting for.  The chance to launch himself to stardom.  The chance to grab the attention of all the scouts and set up an NFL future.   Thought it might happen while Jameis was in legal limbo with rape allegations.  Thought it might happen after a few more misdemeanors and some crab leg theft.  Lady Luck just wasn’t on his side.  And now that an internet meme has finally taken him down he get his chance to hop under center for the #1 college football team in the country.  At long last he gets his shot to show everyone what he’s made of.

 

Annnnd his parents will be out on the boat somewhere slugging beers and tubing and shit.   Love it.  Hey kid, we put a roof over your head, raised you, fed you.  We’re done.  Time for some us time.  Sorry we’re not sorry we didn’t want to come sit in a stadium full of drunk ass obnoxious college kids to watch you sit on the bench behind the Heisman winner again.

Dude Takes Video Selfie of JetBlue Flight Filling With Smoke After Engine Failure

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdude-takes-video-selfie-of-jetblue-flight-filling-with-smoke-after-engine-failure%2F
Sep 199:50AM EST

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(CNN)Many wept. Some prayed. But after their smoke-filled plane rattled to an emergency landing, passengers had a new lease on life, as they exited a JetBlue flight Thursday via inflatable chutes.

A loud pop initiated the brush with disaster, said West and other passengers who spoke with KCAL from the airport at Long Beach, California.  Flight 1416 had left Long Beach Airport about 15 minutes before and was over the ocean, carrying 147 passengers and crew headed for Austin, Texas.

“The flight attendants were yelling ‘brace, brace’ and they kept repeating it and repeating it on the top of their lungs.”
Then the right engine “blew,” JetBlue told KCAL.

Actor Jackson Rathbone was on the flight with his wife and child. “Our right engine exploded and our cabin filled with smoke,” he posted to Twitter.

It grew so thick that passengers could no longer see the people seated next to them, said passenger Jonathon Hubbard. West realized he would have a hard time breathing soon, but oxygen masks did not drop down, he said. So flight attendants went around deploying them by hand.

As it cruised back over land, the plane began to quake, and passengers broke into tears, afraid for their lives.

“Everyone was crying,” passenger Dean Delbaugh said. “I thought this was it.” His wife, seated next to him, clung to him.

“The flight attendants were yelling ‘brace, brace’ and they kept repeating it and repeating it on the top of their lungs,” West said.

But the pilot brought the scare to an end by setting the plane gently onto the runway.

Passenger Jonathan Hubbard was sitting in the exit row and wasted no time.

“I took the exit door and just threw it out the plane and just jumped out,” he told KCAL. An inflatable chute was waiting to catch him.

Rathbone and his family went home to celebrate their living through Thursday’s scare with a wine and champagne tasting, he said on whosay — they opened half a dozen bottles.

 

 

 

Oh cool it’s just my nightmare.  I guess this is why God invented Xanax.

How about that pilot though?  Umm excuse me captain, did you just say the engine broke?  Like one of the ones that is used to fly this gigantic plane in the air?  Can we grab a few more details do you think?  Maybe let us know if we are going to, you know, survive?   Seriously I appreciate you being so calm and acting like it’s NBD but just add like one more sentence, “it’s no problem, we’ll be touching down shortly, we don’t even need that engine.”  Don’t care if it’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told and you are currently engulfed in flames and the co pilot has no idea how to land a plane.  Just tell me that.

 

All I know is I’m insanely jealous of the sex this Rathbone cat had with his wife after those 6 bottle of wine and champagne.  Life-flashing-before-your-eyes-in-plane-crash-then-surviving sex has got to be bananas.

 

 

 

PS – Gotta love Jonathan Hubbard looking out for #1.  Women and children who?   Peace out suckas!

The Kansas State and Tampa Bay Games In A Nutshell

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthe-kansas-state-and-tampa-bay-games-in-a-nutshell%2F
Sep 199:30AM EST

 

 

 

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Well that about sums up the two games we watched last night.  A team with so much hope and promise failing to make one single big exciting play to capitalize on their opportunity…and an NFL team blown out and embarrassed so badly you had a paralyzed dude asking if he could suit up and help out.  Yup, that was the night of September 18 sports in a nutshell.

 

 

 

PS – I fucking love Eric LeGrand and his ability to be constantly positive despite being dealt the worst hand imaginable.   It will never, ever get old.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Nadya from OSU

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-smokeshow-of-the-day-nadya-from-osu%2F
Sep 199:00AM EST

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Introducing Nadya from OSU.  Let’s finish this week off strong.

 

 

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Download The Barstool Beats App Now

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Sep 188:35PM EST

480x480 Skinny Beats

Probably the best app you’ve ever seen.

Click here to download Barstool Beats for iOS

 

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Click here to download Barstool Beats for iOS