July 21, 2014 - July 27, 2014
Is he an employee? That girl’s boyfriend? A random dude just waiting for an opportunity to hit the hole like Ray Rice? We may never know. All we’ll have is this video of him lighting up five girls like a karate movie with savate kicks and spinning back fists to judge. Obviously it’s a terrible team strategy by the girls here going after him one at a time but come on ladies, have some pride. You can’t be lady tough guys and pound some chick’s face in 5-on-1 then just completely forfeit the second a man comes in. It’s called feminism, learn about it.
The girl coming in with the Barbie Malibu dream house patio chair at the end gets it, at least until he Mutombo swats it into the fifth row:
Also, I might be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure that one girl is wearing a Browns jersey. Only Cleveland would sign LeBron and draft Johnny Manziel and still find a way to take Ls across the globe.
Never has there been a more appropriate fashion choice for a criminally insane woman being kicked out of a beach. Every kid born into a Raiders family probably has the same reaction when they learn which NFL team they have to root for.
Gibberish from a drunken naked woman or not, this still easily falls in the top 10 smartest things a Raiders fan has said in this decade. I have to assume there’s not a lot of savvy discussion of Locke’s theory of property coming from fat guys in face paint and Legion of Doom shoulderpads.
Love the way you help out strangers in need, lifeguard girl. We should talk about it over a malted milk shake with two intertwined straws.
(h/t The Big Lead)
Someone just sent me this video with a link to the website and the IM “found you a new job” which is perfect because, if you listen to the sports bloggers chirping on Twitter, there’s like a 70% the Internet will force Barstool to close forever because our founder said beating women is bad and made a dodgy joke back in 2010.
Have a good weekend, everyone. If you need me, I’ll be fluffing up and getting ready for my new gig at Manservants.co just in case.
Introducing Cameron from Arkansas. Nobody sends you into the weekend like a Barstool U smokeshow. Have a good one!
Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool? Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to email@example.com and we’ll feature it some point during the week.
West Coast schools, step your game up. UCSB Kappa Kappa Gamma put you all on notice. Get the coed on coed volleyball game going now.
Buzzfeed – In the midst of a bloody conflict, a bizarre new trend has emerged: naked selfies in support of The Israel Defense Forces.
Two Facebook pages have been set up: One collecting photos of naked women, and one of naked men [EDITOR'S NOTE: Booooooo].
The selfie takers are snapping themselves half-naked with messages of support for the IDF written across their bodies.
Guys, there’s a lot of war going on in the world today. People fighting without knowing what they’re fighting for. Snap judgments being made left and right. Maybe one side is right, maybe one side is wrong. Hard to say. But we’ve talked enough about Pres getting into a battle with Desmond Howard on Twitter over #pondergate, it’s time we move on to less globally recognized issues.
Obviously, I’m talking about the Israeli-Palestine conflict currently going on on the Gaza strip. What’s going on there is no joke. Lives are being lost, it sucks and mentioning anything about the logistics of it is way outside of Barstool’s coverage sphere.
Not outside Barstool’s coverage sphere? Sweet Israeli titties and asses being marked with support for the Israeli Defense Forces. Hooray! Can’t go to war yourself? No problem, just break out a set of ample jugs formed by copious amounts of matzoh and you’re as integral as any five-Star of David general.
I know the Barstool readers occasional enjoy dabbling in anti-Semitism but how can you not let your freak yarmulke fly when you see these photos? Israeli chicks, highly underrated. They’re usually tan, nice bodies, forced to serve in the military for their citizenship so they’re in amazing shape. Might be tough to get them to pick up a check but hey, we’ve all got our faults.
There’s an entire Facebook page full of foxy Jewess support here if you’re counting down the minutes until leaving the office. Little Friday gift from your ol’ pal Spags and the Chaim’s Angels.
Daily Mail - Strangers from across the country have raised more than $48,000 to keep a student at Vanderbilt University after her mother committed suicide and her father lost his job.
Cassie Wessely, 19, from Grayslake, Illinois, was left $24,000 short for the upcoming school year – despite a summer job, savings, a scholarship, a student loan and financial aid from the school. So last week, out of desperation, she created a GoFundMe page to try to raise $25,000 to ensure she could return to the college for her second year.
After just three days, it had raised more than $6,000 and now it has topped $48,000 as nearly 1,000 people from across the country donate amounts between $5 and $100.
‘There are really no words to say how thankful I am,’ she told Today. ‘When I saw $5 donations, I knew that was from people who didn’t have the money to give, but they gave anyway.’
On the page, Wessely explains that her mother, Karen Peregrin Wessely, had residential custody of her when she graduated from high school. Her mother was unemployed and her financial aid at Vanderbilt was determined by her income. But just three weeks before the teen headed to college, her mother killed herself. Wessely explained to Today that her mother had struggled with her brother’s death from an overdose five years prior.
With the donations already far exceeding her target, she said she will put the extra money towards paying for her junior and senior years. She plans on leaving the fundraiser up until school starts on August 20.
‘It is overwhelming, but in a good way,’ she told The Tennessean. ‘It was just so touching, and I’m so grateful and I was so blown away by it all.’
For as big of an absolute asshole the internet can be (and trust me, Barstool writers know it more than anybody), it never ceases to amaze me how fucking awesome it can be. How random strangers can just donate money for people they’ve never met and never will meet because their story touched them. Danny getting literally truckloads of birthday cards, Vanderbilt girl going through tragedy after tragedy getting her tuition paid. World might not be as fucked up as we think.
Liveleak – Dude in the white was trying to get at other dude’s girl. After that the girl and her man stated they didn’t want problems because they had kids. Dude in the white shirt didn’t respect and still wanted to fight. He paid for it…
The “He paid for it” in that description is quite the understatement. When the the husband gets him in a back mount and hit him with some crossface punches, I started to feel bad for white shirt. And then when the husband accused him of “biting him like a little bitch” I definitely felt bad for the guy. And then when the husband continued punching him and conjured up a theoretical scenario in his head that the guy was going to both call the cops and kill him, I completely flipped. Like if I were the wife in question, I’d probably not only want to get a divorce after this, I’d just give the kid a handy out of embarrassment. Probably a charitable tax deduction at this point.
Anyone else slightly concerned (maybe disappointed, gotta keep an open mind) that this was going to degenerate into a prison rape? I’ve got good money that the bald guy has done at least a short stint.
We got a little bit of everything this week, from bangers (Alesso, Showtek, Steve James) to some sultry shit (The Weeknd, Majid, Banks) to new verses from some of our favorite rappers (Cam’ron, Danny Brown). Definitely expecting lots of new music from everyone soon, so stay tuned for that.