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Two Drunk Chicks Get In A Barnburner Of A Fight That Ends With Both Falling Absurdly On The Train Tracks

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Ftwo-drunk-chicks-get-in-a-barnburner-of-a-fight-that-ends-with-both-falling-absurdly-on-the-train-tracks%2F
Aug 2111:55AM EST

 

 

Now THAT is what I call a catfight. If you’re not Ronda Rousey or you’re not willing to get all sexy and tear off clothes and flip hair like those old Miller Lite commercials, you better be tumbling to the floor incompetently as if the entire train platform were covered in banana peels.

 

this-issparta

 

Not only did this girl kick the other onto the train tracks like Leonidas declaring what Sparta’s all about, you have to love how she threw a little dance move in there to taunt and celebrate. The “play on my team any day” trope is a little played out but if we can work on her not falling onto the train tracks Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man style I’m willing to give her a crack at the roster. Showed a whole lot of moxie here.

This Alabama Family Just Facialized Every Family Portrait Ever Made…Ever

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Aug 2111:20AM EST

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How’s your family?  Good?  Good looking group?  Getting together at some point to snap a nice photo for your holiday cards?  Yeah, might want to rethink that.  Probably not even worth it after feasting your eyes on this Roll Tide family masterpiece.  Don’t care how photogenic you are or how much you pay a professional photographer,  you simply aren’t getting results like this crew.

 

 

PS – Odds that baby’s name is Saban?

 

 

h/t Chicago Homer

Mizzou Coach Teaches Players How To Dougie

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Aug 2110:45AM EST

 

 

 

 

The Dougie?  Did he teach them how to Tebow next?  Maybe throw down a sick plank at the entrance to the stadium then film a Cinnamon Challenge?  Come on Mizzou, keep up with the trends.   Just saying if we get an Instagram video 2 seasons from now of you guys doing the Ice Bucket Challenge I won’t be surprised at this point.

 

 

Not only that but we’ve already had a coach demonstrate exactly how the Dougie is done.

 

 

847938258

 

 

vs.

 

 

 

You really want to go head to head with Kliff dude?

 

Bloodbath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Miami Linebacker Denzel “The President” Perryman Puts A Jadeveon Clowney Hit On His Own Running Back During Scrimmage

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmiami-linebacker-denzel-the-president-perryman-puts-a-jadeveon-clowney-hit-on-his-own-running-back-during-scrimmage%2F
Aug 2110:10AM EST

0Q3fy

 

 

 

 

Why do I get the feeling Perryman and this running back Gus Edwards don’t really get along in the locker room?

Oh is it because Denzel fucking hit sticks the fuck out of him every time he steps on the field?

 

 

gus2

 

 

 

Every scrimmage is basically a decapitation waiting to happen with this guy.  With teammates like The President Perryman who needs enemies, am I right Gus?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Penn State vs. UCF Season Opener In Ireland At Risk Due To A Volcanic Eruption

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fpenn-state-vs-ucf-season-opener-in-ireland-at-risk-because-a-volcano-is-about-to-erupt%2F
Aug 219:30AM EST

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ORLANDO, Fla. — UCF’s season opener in Ireland next week against Penn State may be in peril because of a possible volcanic eruption in Iceland.

Iceland’s Civil Protection Department said Wednesday that about 500 people were evacuated from the highlands part of the Vatnajokull glacier. The action was taken as a precaution following thousands of small earthquakes recently near Bardarbunga, a sub-glacial stratovolcano under the glacier.

UCF departs for Ireland Aug. 26 for its Aug. 30 game. Athletics spokesman Andy Seeley said school officials are monitoring the situation.

Iceland is separated from Ireland by the Atlantic Ocean and about 900 miles, but a volcanic eruption in Iceland could produce volcanic ash and potentially affect flights to Europe. More than 100,000 flights were cancelled following the 2010 eruption of the Eyjafjallajokul volcano.

 

 

Just your classic setback to a college football season opener, see something like this happen every year.  Problems with the turf, leaks in the roof, a nearby volcano about to erupt and shower you with liquid hot magma.   You hope it doesn’t happen to you but it always seems to.

Man Penn State really just cannot get out of this bad luck slump.   Think James Franklin saw this coming when he took the job?  Knew he had an uphill battle with the recent PSU reputation and the sanctions.  Not sure he knew flying to Ireland for a game against a team from Florida and getting Pompeii’ed by a nearby stratovolcano was part of the deal though.

 

 

 

 

PS – Live look-in at fans trying to leave the stadium next week -

 

 

 

 

 

 

PPS – Not sure if people have seen this but Penn State currently has the best hype video on the market:

 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Lexi from High Point

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Aug 219:00AM EST

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Introducing Lexi from High Point.  #BarstoolBuns never looked so good.

 

 

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Dirty South – Unbreakable (ft. Sam Martin)

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Aug 209:15PM EST

House legend Dirty South throws down some deep tropical vibes on his latest single, another smash in a long line of smashes for the Serbian and Australian DJ/producer.  And if you’re wondering where you know the name Sam Martin from, he’s the dude from that massive Guetta heater from earlier in the summer.

The Draftkings $40K Fairway Contest For The Barclays

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdraftkings%2F
Aug 207:00PM EST

 

 

 

Feel like Roy McAvoy with these Draftkings Golf challenges.  Get excited for it every week, flame out and fail to place in the money, demand another ball to keep trying. Think I really got it this time for the Barclays.  Team looks airtight.  No loose ends failing to miss the cut and ruin my whole score.  Let’s do this.

 

 

 

CLICK HERE TO PLAY 

 

Contest details:

- Fantasy PGA $40,000 Fairway Contest

- $40,000 Prize Pool, $7,000 to first place

- 1680 total entries, top 340 paid out

-  Pick 6 PGA Golfers from The Barclays and stay under the $50k salary cap to win a share of the $40,000

 

CLICK HERE TO PLAY

Barstool U Hump Day Smokeshow – Kristen from Cal State Northridge

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Aug 205:30PM EST

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Introducing Kristen from Cal State Northridge taking you out on this beautiful Hump Day.

 

 

 

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Hot Makeup Blogger Chick Is Blowing Up On Instagram For Drawing Disney Characters On Her Mouth

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Aug 204:50PM EST

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For every 100 girls out there just slutting it up on Instagram there’s like one who’s legitimately talented, unsurprisingly getting good attention for it. This Laura Jenkinson girl is one of those people.  
Can you turn a sexy mouth into a flawless picture of Bugs Bunny? NO chance. So you have to give  
kudos to this girl for being more talented than these other women out there.

 

 

 

You have to admit, dumb or not, that this stuff takes a lot of skill. I could dig up Walt Disney and  
organize a Kickstarter to reanimate his corpse to teach me how to draw these things and I still  
unequivocally couldn’t do it. Most impressive thing I’ve seen on Instagram that didn’t involve areola.

 

 

Completely unrelated tangent: As you may have noticed, your old buddy Spags has had quite a day.   Originally I figured that Pres’s blog on the comment situation would lead to a quick turn around.  
Many Stoolies are upset about the changes to the comments. Some handled it with a degree of  
maturity and optimism. Others have made memes of my face or called me slurs and spammed  
entire blogs with derogatory comments all over them. It’s all very surprising to say the least. We just  
need to understand it’s not about money or selling out or revenue. It’s about separating some of  
the wheat from an extremely small amount of chaff. Barstool is edgy and irreverent, that’s what makes
employment here so exciting. But the lazy comments, attention whoring, and casual racism can get  
really tiring. So we want to improve it and make the Barstool comments something to look forward to  
seeking out once again. Is it hard? Yes. Will it work? I don’t know. But I’m excited to find out.

 

 

PS The first letter of each line above if you’re on desktop spells out a special thank you to all of you for being a great part of my day and a contribution to what makes Barstool so great.