Barstool U - By the C - Student, for the C - Student.

Beckett – Jack Hoffman’s story naturally went national. The 7-year-old fighting cancer scored a touchdown in the University of Nebraska’s spring game.  Anyone who watched the video from the game realized just how dusty it was in their room that day.  Upper Deck then created blow-up cards of Jack and one of the silver autographed cards (three are signed in silver and one in gold) was auctioned on eBay earlier this month for The Team Jack Foundation. The final bid came in at $6,100 – shattering anyone’s expectations and adding more excitement to a special story.

But unfortunately, there is no happy ending when it comes to this auction.

Too often there are stories of high-end ticket items that go unpaid – and that is true in this case as well.  Prep 2 Pro Sports owner Mike Schnoor, who is selling the cards on behalf of the Team Jack Foundation, has not received any money for the Hoffman card despite contacting the final bidder and the next couple of bidders on the list.  “It’s a pretty sore subject around here,” Schnoor told Beckett Media. “The guy who ended up winning said a guy logged into his account and bid on it as a joke. It goes from a great story to kind of sobering.”

Special place in hell for guys like this I’d imagine.  Bidding $6K for a kid with cancer’s charity then, oops, changed my mind.   I mean I get if you’re an asshole and are sick of these type of feel good stories and videos, but you can express that anonymously on comment sections around the internet.  Don’t need to place a bid for charity then pull it back with the old “my buddy did it as a joke on my account” routine.  Seriously what a hilarious prank!  I’m gonna log in to my friend’s eBay and bid a shit ton of money on a kid with cancer’s trading card!  He’ll be so surprised, lol.  Scumbag.  They should let Jack Hoffman hold this guy down and inject him with cancer.

Florida – A Miami man caught and killed the longest Burmese python ever captured in the state of Florida, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.  Jason Leon was driving late at night on May 11 in a rural area of southeast Miami-Dade County when he saw about 3 feet of a snake sticking out of the bushes. Having owned and handled Burmese pythons in the past, according to FWC, Leon pulled an 18-foot, 8-inch female from the roadside. The snake wrapped itself around Leon’s leg, and he called for assistance.

He used a knife to kill the snake.

“Jason Leon’s nighttime sighting and capture of a Burmese python of more than 18 feet in length is a notable accomplishment that set a Florida record. The FWC is grateful to him both for safely removing such a large Burmese python and for reporting its capture,” said Kristen Sommers, with FWC, in a release.
 

Florida!  Doing it so big like usual.  It’s no wonder everyone grows up dreaming of one day retiring to Florida to live out their days in peace.  I mean if there’s one thing writing at Barstool has taught me it’s that Florida is basically a modern day utopia.  Great people.  Low crime rate.  Only one 19 foot Burmese python slithering around eating people’s heads off their shoulders and swallowing their brains for breakfast, and actually now 0 of those thanks to Jason Leon.    Really can’t think of one downside of the Sunshine State.

In today’s edition of High School Handjobs, meet our next lucky winner, the dude who just successfully launched himself like 10 feet over the head of the catcher to score during state.   95 inch vertical to plate a run when it matters the most, girls warm those palms up.

PS – What’s up with speeding the camera up?  Were you trying to make him seem faster or something?  Bro he just successfully high jumped the catcher to score in the playoffs, I think that’s sufficiently impressive.

Introducing the official worst feeling in the world.  The moment after you jump out of a plane or off of a cliff and pull the cord and realize your chute ain’t working.  If this guy didn’t shit directly in his pants he’s a bigger man than I would be.

Absolutely horrifying and tragic stuff.  One second you’re sitting in your family room the next second everything you know and everything around you is completely destroyed.  Your home, your neighborhood, your town.    Cannot even imagine the terror you feel when you see one of these bearing down on you:

Insane.

One word.  WATERWORKS.

Finding your dog alive in a literal pit of despair and destruction while doing a live interview?  Can’t even script that shit.  Would be too unbelievable.

Introducing Paige from WVU.  About time we kicked it back to a Mountaineer smoke.  Used to dominate the U, feel like we need to reinvigorate that.  Best first step – Paige.

From the man’s facebook:

“NEW HOUR MIX IS HERE! This will be the first of a bi-monthly series tailored specifically for your car, gym and parties. Turn it up, sing along and party on.”

Download Slapcast Vol. 1

Introducing Cassie from Arizona.  What a great way to end a Monday.  Arizona smokes can always pick up even the worst day.

In the air as we speak flying back to NY after a long ass LA weekend.  Want to get off the plane with 20 smoke submissions waiting for me.  Names and FB links to tips@barstoolu.com

Original Video:

“In Your Face You Longhorn Pussies” Video:

Boom! Texas getting southern style BBQ’d. To be honest, I thought the first video was embarrassing enough. Probably didn’t even need to pile on. When your 2013 preview is just Mack Brown basically apologizing for falling asleep at the wheel since 2009, you don’t exactly have A-1 hype up material.