September 15, 2014 - September 21, 2014
Don’t ask me how they did it, but Arkansas State somehow turned the worst fake punt in the history of football into the best play of 2014.
PS – Didn’t see it? Turn up your volume and watch the slot.
PS – Sneaky best part is the dude gets fucking LIT up after faking dead too.
Older people are bad at the Internet, not really treading new ground with that revelation. But some sort of time-bending comment about how if you were 30 years younger you’d be sticking it to your own teenage daughter? Very bold move, huge step up from a bumper sticker about being proud of your daughter on honor roll. But that’s 2014 for you. We’re getting dumber every year while social media photos are all the rage and getting sluttier every minute. So you might as well get some satisfaction from your kid excelling at a field where so many people are out there putting in work. She may be getting Cs in school but as long as she’s showing off some solid Cs online better than her friends, a dad’s got to have something to brag about. Sounds like the Father of the Year award just got sealed up. Way to adapt, pops.
I have to point out that this may just be some genius next level parenting right here. Don’t want your daughter showing off her prominent pubis and jugs on social media? Just comment about how you’d totally stick it to her if you were her age, maybe throw something in one of those jizz emojis the kids use while you’re at it. Instant way to get her back on track. There’s a 30% chance it’d send her to a nunnery but at least she’s not flashing beef for Instagram hearts. In a world where a substantial amount of Internet content ends with us saying “Never have a daughter,” it seems like a play that’s worth the risk. More importantly, if this is the case, I really think this dad needs to ascend to some sort of leadership position immediately. Dad chess going on while everyone else is playing slutty daughter checkers.
As you can all see Providence and Quinnipiac were fucking wild. Like these went way beyond our expectations and blew the venues to shreds. Girls were wild, Dante had some amazing tracks and all in all it was amazing. Now we have Worcester and Hartford who need to show the fuck up October 24th and 25th to Blackout harder than we have ever seen before. These shows WILL sellout so get tickets while you still can!
Barstool Blackout: Worcester – The Palladium – Friday October 24th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW )
Barstool Blackout: Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW)
Drake’s Day Planner:
- Wake up
- Check college football rankings
- Order FSU jersey
- Find out it’s sold out, ask assistant who the best player on Oregon is, order Ducks jersey
- Perform in it and say you’ve always been a diehard Heat-Kentucky-Oregon fan since birth
Not a frontrunner or a bandwagoner, just roots for winners you guys.
CBS - Miami reserve quarterback Kevin Olsen was arrested Monday morning and charged with DUI and possession of a fake or stolen driver’s license, Associated Press reporter Tim Reynolds and other outlets reported Monday.
The 19-year-old Olsen, brother of Carolina Panthers tight end and former Hurricanes star Greg Olsen, is being held on a $6,000 bond.
Miami athletic director Blake James told the AP that Olsen has been suspended indefinitely, pending review.
According to the arrest affadavit reviewed by the Miami Herald, Olsen failed a field sobriety test, registered a .04 on a breathalyzer test, and refused to offer a urine sample. Olsen was carrying six different IDs from four states and of two people — one, per the affadavit, belonged to teammate Ronald Regula — and admitted one from Maryland was a fake.
A redshirt freshman expected by many to win the Hurricanes’ starting quarterback job when spring favorite Ryan Williams tore an ACL, Olsen was suspended for Miami’s season opener at Louisville for a “violation of team standards.” Freshman Brad Kaaya has served as the Hurricanes’ starter, with transfer Jake Heaps the team’s No. 2. Per the AP, Olsen is currently listed as the Hurricanes’ fourth-string quarterback.
.04? We’re talking about a 0.04 here? Come on now. This is a U Miami QB we’re talking about here. Not only that but the brother of a famous alum and former Canes superstar. Sure he may be 3rd string or 4th string which I didn’t even know was a string, sure he may have six different IDs on him with at least one of them being fake. But how do you not look the other way on this? On a .04? Really?? Is that even illegal?
Tough break for Olsen and sad because this will probably spell the end of his Miami career. But if there’s one, just one tiny little piece of good news to take from all this, it’s at least you nailed the fuck out of the mug shot. Seriously take that picture out of context and you got a hell of a Facebook or Tinder profile pic. Only thing that’s illegal from this story is having hair that looks that good IMO.
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— SUNY Barstool (@SUNYBarstool) September 15, 2014
— Barstool Clemson (@BarstoolClemson) September 14, 2014
what a day, what a game pic.twitter.com/m7yo0axqh8
— Barstool BC (@BarstoolBC) September 14, 2014
— Barstool UIowa (@BarstoolUIowa) September 13, 2014
— Barstool UArkansas (@UArkBarstool) September 13, 2014
— Barstool ECU (@BarstoolECU) September 13, 2014
This guy gets it. pic.twitter.com/E6sqLifyNM
— Barstool Illinois St (@BarstoolILLSt) September 13, 2014
Who’s she texting tho pic.twitter.com/sS7yUkHekn
— BarstoolUCONN (@UCONNBarstool) September 12, 2014
You and I don’t get to use Camp Randall as our own personal driving range, but that’s because we’re not Bo Ryan… pic.twitter.com/XHGr6g0P2k
— Barstool Wisconsin (@BarstoolBadgers) September 11, 2014
— SUNY Barstool (@SUNYBarstool) September 11, 2014
— Barstool Notre Dame (@BarstoolND) September 8, 2014