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Alexandria Morgan Jogging In A Strapless Bra Is An Instant Heartstopper

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Jul 223:20PM EST

 

Alexandria Morgan is one of those Internet model chicks on the rise and with good reason. She’s not a MySpace photo angle beauty queen like some of the closet heifers on Instagram and she’s got an insane body most girls would sell their first born into sex slavery for. Basically, she’s the perfect chick to get me to watch a video from some watch company I’ve never heard of and forgot the second I x’d out of YouTube.

 

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This is the thing ol’ slobbo Kate Upton doesn’t get: This Alexandria Morgan chick is as pretty as her in the face, if not more so, she doesn’t look like she needs to have a golf ball pulled out of her by George Costanza when she’s lying down on a lounge chair, and she even resembles Kate Upton enough that she could be play her in a Lifetime movie about how she ruined Justin Verlander’s baseball career and drove him to murder.

 

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Alexandria Morgan RSVLTS Photoshoot

Alexandria Morgan RSVLTS Photoshoot

 

 

The fact that this chick lives in NYC and often posts photos at places I’ve walked past earlier in the day actually destroys my soul. Would it kill just one borderline supermodel to give me advanced notice when she’s going to appear somewhere so I can install a trap door set up a Wile E. Coyote catapult wish her continued success and excellence throughout the rest of her career?

 

(photos via @alexandriatothemax, RSVLTS)

LSU Freshman Football Player Punches Through Glass Window In Weight Room After Fight With Girlfriend…Severs His Bicep Down To The Bone

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Flsu-freshman-football-player-punches-through-glass-window-in-weight-room-after-fight-with-girlfriend-severs-his-bicep-down-to-the-bone%2F
Jul 222:55PM EST

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NOLALSU freshman defensive tackle Trey Lealaimatafao suffered a serious arm injury when he punched a glass window in the team weight room, LSU sports information director Michael Bonnette confirmed to NOLA.com.

Sources who were present said Lealaimatafao, a four-star recruit from San Antonio, Texas, was upset about a disagreement with his girlfriend, and punched the window between the weight room and indoor practice facility. The sources said the glass “tore through” Lealaimatafao’s bicep and they could see the bone underneath.

“It was horrific,” said one witness. “Horrible to see.”

He was immediately taken to an area hospital and is being treated for the injury, Bonnette said.  One source said Lealaimatafao may have completely severed his bicep and he faces a lengthy recovery.

 

 

 

Fucking chicks bro.  They’ll fuck you up in the head. Got say though I do love this guy’s positive attitude.  Oh I just severed my bicep and tore through all the muscle down to the bone?  All good, learning experience.  Always good to learn things every day.  Today was: don’t punch through glass windows.  Because when it breaks the stuff it’s made out of is very sharp.   And that sharp stuff will cut your arm off, and arms are important for football players.  Jot it down in my iPhone notes and we’re on to the next day full of life lessons.

 

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Jenna from Bryant vs. Susie from MSU

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Jul 222:15PM EST

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Jenna from Bryant

 

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Susan from MSU

 

 

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1 for Jenna…5 for Susie

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (151 votes, average: 3.63 out of 5)
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Big Girl’s Drunken Table Body Slam Attempt Is The Stuff Of Legends

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Jul 221:30PM EST

 

I really hope this chick doesn’t get upset if she sees I called her a big girl for this one because, really, I mean it as a compliment. All the feminism and “Real women have curves” and propaganda mean literally nothing to me. Fluff from girls who eat entire jars of Fluff. But you give me a big ride or die chick like this Chelsea girl and I’m all in. Headband on, full sprint, big-time vertical leap, doesn’t matter if she went through the table or not. It’s all about the journey, not the destination. This girl won my respect, my heart, and a free coupon for celebratory dick (not valid in the 48 continuous states, see you in Hawaii boo).

 

 

When I was in college, my freshman year roommate was from Louisiana and one weekend he had some female friends come up to check out Los Angeles. One was a chick whom he wanted to bang, another was her boring and less hot friend, and the third was some big girl with an equally sized personality to match. We went out to whatever USC frats were noteworthy at the time, bounced around, drank way too much. We all got stupid wasted, my roommate’s chick crush vomited in a bush so he seized the opportunity to console her and, within seconds, make out with her. But the big girl, she had no signs of quit. We went back to the apartment aiming to smoke some pot and slow down and she just wanted to keep drinking, ended up going down the hall to some other party and ripped shots until like 3am. When she first left, I asked my roommate, “Is this normal? She’s going to be alright?” His reply was simple, “Oh yeah, she can outdrink most guys. She’s a hoss.” Hoss. The type of evocative name Jim Ross would use to describe Brock Lesnar when he first started in WWE. I don’t remember the boring chick, I barely remember the hot puking chick, but I’ll never forget the Hoss. Big girls doing big girl things, just have to applaud it when you come across it.

 

(h/t Jamie)

Banks – Beggin For Thread

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Jul 2212:45PM EST

I’m officially in love with this chick.  Every single song she puts out is fire, and she puts out a lot of them.

Check out more from Banks, and if you haven’t heard her Aaliyah cover you’ll want to do that 10 minutes ago.

DraftKings Midsummer MLB Classic…Turn 20 Bucks Into $100K Tonight

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Jul 2212:15PM EST

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CLICK HERE TO JOIN

 

“Know what’s cooler than 20 bucks?   100 thousand bucks” – Justin Timberlake in The Social Network

Yup all you got to do is sign up, draft your team for tonight’s MLB games, then kick back and watch the points roll in.  Couldn’t be easier to make some cold hard cash.  And as an added bonus, prove how much better you are at fantasy sports than all the Barstool guys.  We all know how much you guys love that.

 

Contest Details:


-MLB Medium Midsummer Classic
-$100,000 Prize Pool
-$20 entry fee
-Starting Tuesday at 7:05 PM

 

CLICK HERE TO JOIN

Commissioner Bob Bowlsby Kicks Off Big 12 Media Days By Saying “Cheating Pays” In College Football

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fcommissioner-bob-bowlsby-kicks-off-big-12-media-days-by-saying-cheating-pays-in-college-football%2F
Jul 2211:45AM EST

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DALLAS, Texas Big 12 Conference commissioner Bob Bowlsby said Monday that some colleges have figured out ways to take advantage of what he termed a lack of rules enforcement by the NCAA.

“I think the vast majority of people in intercollegiate athletics are of high integrity, they’re doing it for the right reasons,” Bowlsby said at the Big 12 Conference media days. “But right now, if you want to cheat, you can do it and you can get away with it. There are benefits for doing that.

“And that needs to change.”

Bowlsby, a former athletic director at Northern Iowa and Iowa, also predicted that some non-revenue sports could be on campus chopping blocks if the NCAA loses lawsuits with which it is currently involved.

“We are operating in a strange environment in that we have lawsuits — plus we have the O’Bannon lawsuit,” Bowlsby said. “I think all of that in the end will cause programs to be eliminated.

“I think you’ll see men’s Olympics sports go away as a result of the new funding challenges that are coming down the pike. I think there may be tension among and between sports on campus and institutions that have different resources.

“It’s really unknown what the outcomes will be.”

 

 

Man somebody wants a little bit of the spotlight that SEC Media Days stole huh?  Big 12 feeling a little left out and pushed to the side?   Jesus Bowlsby, be a little more transparent.  I see what you’re doing.  Just hop up on the podium and yell the C word as loud as you can in your first like 10 seconds of speaking.  College sports + cheating = instant headlines and nonstop ESPN coverage.   Talk about a man with some media savvy.

But in all seriousness if you listen to/read the commissioners entire speech it’s actually all right on point, hammer on the head stuff.  Like as much as Sportscenter will lead with the “CHEATING PAYS” tagline every hour for the rest of the day it’s really nothing that extreme here.  College programs cheat.  They always have and always will.  You’re never going to shut it down completely, ever.  It’s possible to get away with it and a bunch of places do.   Nothing has ever been more broken than the system that is in place to enforce the rules.  Targeting kids for the smallest most innocent infractions instead of going after the bigger issues…and when they do, they botch the ever-living fuck out of it.  So yeah this is the big college sports story of the day and needed to be blogged about, but it’s really nothing we didn’t already know and talk about 100 times before.  Everyone cheats and the NCAA has a dump in their pants.  That’s it in a nutshell.   Props to Bob for putting it all out in the open finally.

This Might Be The Most Randomly Funny Joke A Hot Chick Has Ever Told

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Jul 2211:00AM EST

(stick with it for just the first 1:30, take the leap of faith)

 

 

 

I’m not going to jump on the “chicks are never funny” bandwagon, there are obviously a lot of hilarious women out there getting deservedly paid and famous for their talents. But when you see a girl who looks like this one is there anything more surprising than an out-of-the-blue joke centered around the comedic concept of a virgin slobbering semen out of her mouth like a St. Bernard? Biggest shocker since Truman defeated Dewey. Nice to see the Internet can still throw a curve after all this time, like watching Jamie Moyer pitch a surprise six scoreless innings back in 2010.

 

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Is there a better joke reaction than the vintage “black guy leaving the room because he can’t handle how funny things are” response? Out of all the things white people have shamelessly co-opted from our soul-having friends, how was this not one of the first ones stolen? Sometimes I really have to question the judgment of the secret tribunal of white guys who run planet Earth and oppress everyone.

The Internet Is Trying To Take Down Kliff Kingsbury Saying He Wears A Fake $100 Breitling

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Jul 2210:20AM EST

 

 

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The PostgameKliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech’s stylish, Ryan Gosling-lookalike head coach, has come to embrace his semi-celebrity status. He flirts with recruits’ moms. He’s been through his share of photo shoots. And when he knows the spotlight is on him, he dresses to impress.

This week at Big 12 Media Days, Kingsbury was spotted wearing what appeared to be an uber-expensive Breitling watch. According to Deadspin, the watch has a retail price of more than $100,000.

But, as it turns out, the timepiece is likely a fake. The commentators on this Breitling forum have spotted several abnormalities, like the following:

“Fake tourbillon at 6 is a dead giveaway, plus wrong date font, subdial font, watch has pushers but no chronograph.”

Kingsbury could certainly afford this watch — his salary pays him $10.5 million over five years — but perhaps he thought no one would notice the difference. Or maybe he himself didn’t realize it was a knockoff.

 

 

 

Check out the player-hater elitists at Deadspin just doing their high horse thing as per usual.  Oh a sports figure is universally beloved and doing way too much cool shit lately?  Better take him the fuck down and embarrass him.  Better try and humiliate him for wearing a fake Breitling around Big 12 Media Days.  Typical.

Well talk about backfire city, because in my opinion if anything it just makes him cooler?   Seriously I’m sorry that Kliff doesn’t want to wear a $100K piece of jewelry on his wrist into the huddles of the guys who play for him for completely free?  These young men who he is charged with molding and shaping and making better people?  Sorry he doesn’t want to wear a nice car or  a small house on his arm around the guys whose families may not be able to afford either?  Just a down to earth humble guy who wants to look good and send the message of a big time D1 college football coach without being a pretentious douche.   It’s called having class and humility.  Guess that’s a lost art in today’s coaching world.

And guess what?  Kingsbury will still steal your bitch at the drop of a hat whether the watch he’s wearing is $100K or 20 fucking dollars cash from the dude on the street corner selling em out of a briefcase.  Deal with it.

 

 

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Johnny Manziel and Colleen Crowley Are Literally The Cutest Couple…I Can’t Even

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Jul 229:38AM EST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Omg I just die.  So cute.  Yeah a small part of me is sad that we’re done seeing the revolving door of smokes weekend after weekend added to Johnny’s bedpost.  Going to miss doing the weekly Instagram galleries of smokebombs that Manziel took down at the club.  But the rest of me literally can’t even with how to die for this couple is.  Romance city, population Football and Crowley.

 

 

 

 

 

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