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Barstool #SmokeshowOfTheDay Contest is Live

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Apr 181:45PM EST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we’re off!  The latest and greatest creation from the best blog on the planet.  Dedicated to bringing you the hottest girls from across the country on a daily basis.  Now expanding to basically every campus imaginable and pulling out the biggest smokes in school.  Rules are simple.  The tweet in this blog with the most retweets by midnight wins.  That’s it.  100 bucks to the winner and a spot on the blog to get you famous.   Time to hit up Twitter and decide a winner.

Hermitude – Ukiyo

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fhermitude-ukiyo%2F
Apr 181:10PM EST

Flume 2.0.

Introducing The Smokeshow Madness Championship

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fintroducing-the-smokeshow-madness-championship%2F
Apr 1812:30PM EST

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 SMOKESHOW MADNESS 

 

 

 

WOW.  A Michigan vs. Ohio State finals.  You couldn’t even script this shit.

Little bit of a shocker on the right side of the bracket.  Tough to call it an upset when Elizabeth is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen in my life but early odds had Ginny from Arizona as the overall #1 seed.  Had a little bit of a lead heading into last night when Michigan Stoolies banded together and Elizabeth stormed back out front.   Meanwhile on the other side of the bracket Hannah narrowly edged Stephanie from Iowa State by LESS THAN 50 votes.  Never seen anything like it.  It really is madness.  Smokeshow Madness.

So here is the title match.  $1K to the winner on the line but more importantly school pride.  A chance to go down in the Barstool history books as the campus with the hottest smokeshow of all 64 tournament teams.   Let’s do this.

 

 

PS – I didn’t check the votes for the final hour of voting and closed my eyes when I clicked “shut down votes” and “compile next round” so that I would be surprised. #barstoolconfessions

 

 

Hannah from Ohio State  

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Elizabeth from Michigan

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Portland Reservoir Pisser Bro Responds To The Haters: “I Didn’t Piss In The Fucking Water Dude”

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fportland-reservoir-pisser-bro-responds-to-the-haters-i-didnt-piss-in-the-fucking-water-dude%2F
Apr 1811:45AM EST

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VOCATIVDallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing.

“I didn’t piss in the fucking water,” he says, pulling a drag off a Newport cigarette. “Yeah, it’s fucking retarded dude,” Swonger says.

“Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” he says, flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby bush. “It’s no fuckin’ joke, dude. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is dumb ass because he pissed in the fuckin’ water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s fucking awesome. I mean, wouldn’t you be pissed about that?”

Eager to shred with some friends, he and two buddies went to skateboard at Mount Tabor Park after hours, which is home to three of the city’s five uncovered drinking water reservoirs – and a handful of excellent hill runs. After bombing down the park’s western slope, nature began to call Swonger. It was around 1 a.m. and the three friends, along with two other people they met in the park, were near one of the reservoirs.

“I was like, ‘Dudes I have to piss so bad,’” he says. “So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].” “I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it,” he says. “Right there on the wall, dude. I don’t know else how to describe it.”

Water Bureau officials, however, insist Swonger took a leek in the drink. “When you see the video, he’s leaning right up because he has to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars,” bureau administrator Davd Shaff told the Oregonian. “There’s really no doubt what he’s doing.”

The city says it will dump a total of 38 million gallons of water, even though test results on Thursday showed no signs of water contamination.

“Like, how they can do that?” says Swonger. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and shit. I mean, really, dude?”

The whole ordeal has Swonger pretty rattled. “Dallas is really bummed out about all of it,” says his skateboard buddy McDonald, who we reached by phone on Thursday. “He’s a really good guy at heart. He just doesn’t make the best decisions. Honestly, he has the potential to do really good.”

 

 

 

Previously on Barstool… Portland Forced To Drain 38 Million Gallons Of Drinking Water After 19 Year Old Bro Pisses In Reservoir

 

 

 

 

Is this kid real life or am I getting punked by satire here?  I mean this interview was verified by The Oregonian but honestly first time I read this I thought it was an Onion-type article about a typical skater bro giving typical skate bro quotes.   Is it possible that this kid actually exists and this conversation was real?  And if so is it weird if I kind of believe him?   Bro didn’t piss in the fucking water.  It’s fucking retarded dude.  Just pissed right up on the wall.   Plus there’s hella dead birds and squirrels and shit in there anyway dude.  I don’t know, seems air tight to me.  Especially the way he’s selling it with so much conviction.  Think I’m on Swonger’s side here, plus let’s not forget his buddy McDonald backing him up and saying he has the potential to do really good because he’s really good at heart which is basically all the confirmation I need.  Dallas and McDonald, what a fucking duo.

 

PS – At the same time I got to respect the city administrator dropping the “little wee wee” quote right in the middle of a major paper.  Fight fire with fire.  You want to piss in my reservoir and make me drain 38 gallons of drinking water?  Enjoy everyone reading about your tiny dick.  ”Little wee wee.”  No phrase is more emasculating than that.

 

Ole Miss Baseball Bro Unleashes The Double Hand Job Facial

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fole-miss-baseball-bro-unleashes-the-double-hand-job-facial%2F
Apr 1811:00AM EST

HandJob

 

 

And that was just for a double.  Can’t even imagine the air-bukkake that would come after a home run.

 

Say what you want about The South but they know how to celebrate at their sports events.

 

Mike & Mike Launch #AskEmmert Question Session On Twitter…Let’s See How It Played Out

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmark-emmert-hosts-askemmert-question-session-on-twitter-lets-see-how-it-played-out%2F
Apr 1810:10AM EST

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Answer: not great.  Probably not what Mark Emmert had in mind ideally.  Try and spark a little productive conversation and debate for Mike & Mike, end up getting shit on from literally every corner of the internet. Weird, people are usually so nice on Twitter.

 

 

 

 

PS – Spilly wins.  SerJayo second place.

Rate Mike Tyson’s First Pitch

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Apr 189:30AM EST

 

 

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Perfect first pitch.    The pre-pitch photo ops.  The pageantry.  The outfit.  The wind up.   Ok I guess the delivery was kind of unconventional in an “11 year old girlish” kind of way but so what?  They said the same kind of stuff about Hideo Nomo and Luis Tiant, think they turned out alright?    All that matters is the result and fact of the matter is K-Zone had that marked dead center on the plate.   Nailed it.  What can’t Iron Mike do?  Boxing. Acting. Pigeon Racing. Pitcher.  The list goes on.

 

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (52 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Natalie from WVU

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Apr 189:00AM EST

 

 

 

 

Introducing Natalie from West Virginia.  Well somebody is on fire right now.  (Looking at you WVU).  Smokeshow after smokeshow.

Cash Cash (ft. Bebe Rexha) – Take Me Home (Steve James Remix)

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fcash-cash-ft-bebe-rexha-take-me-home-steve-james-remix%2F
Apr 178:45PM EST

Steve James recently turned 16, and he’s already dropping bomb after bomb on the EDM universe like it ain’t no thang. Check out the young master’s latest remix, turning in a 12/10 effort on Cash Cash’s chart topping banger “Take Me Home.”

Shots Fired By Clemson

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fshots-fired-by-clemson%2F
Apr 176:08PM EST

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Big day for college rivalries.  First UF puts FSU on blast with the most vicious diss video ever.

 

 

Now Clemson is sneaking in to SC’s field and spray painting all over their shit.   Can’t wait to see what crazy hijinks we got coming up next.  Nobody is safe!

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Barstool Clemson