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LeBron’s 10-Year-Old Son Already Having A Sick Highlight Reel Is The Least Surprising Thing Ever
Dec 223:20PM EST

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I wasn’t sure what to make of 10-year-old LeBron James Jr’s highlight reel when I first saw it because anyone could put together a sick hoops mixtape if they were playing against fourth graders too (as a 6’1 adult man I’d BEAST those little shits in the post, guaranteed). But then I saw this part of the video and I got it:




Somewhere Coach Cal went from 6 to midnight real fast watching that. Strong finish with contact, flopping to the ground and sitting there for sympathy, not showing any hint of joy after a great play even as a little kid…the LeBron is strong in this little dude. And seriously, I want that. We’re collectively suckers for dynasty athletic families, from the Mannings to the Matthewses to the Randy Ortons. It always bummed me out that Michael Jordan’s kids were kind of short, sucked at basketball, and only got scholarships on the name alone so I’m ready for this little dude to grab the hoops world by the balls. The resemblance to LeBron Sr is there and he probably already calls himself The Prince and everything. Even if you hate LeBron you have to be rooting for this kid to succeed just because it’d be so interesting if he did.



While we’re scouting elementary schoolers, I’m also all in on a highlight reel of this little dude at the end:



Definitely some rich white Nike exec’s kid who is QUICKLY going to realize he’s not cut out for the world of professional athletics. Little Maverick Carter Jr already fucked his girlfriend and tweeted about it with crying laugh emojis I bet.


(via The Buzzer)

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Nicky from FAU vs. Gabby from UNC Wilmington
Dec 222:45PM EST

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Nicky from FAU 


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Gabby from UNC Wilmington 


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1 for Nicky…5 for Gabby


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (174 votes, average: 4.07 out of 5)
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The Songs the CIA Used For Torture Is Actually a Pretty Fire Playlist
Dec 222:10PM EST

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AHQ - Just imagine for a second that you are alone in a small dark room while your head chained between your legs and you has been forced to listen same song again and again for number of hours and days with headphones which you can’t take off. Music torture has been normal practice for the CIA after it started its “improved examination program” in the early 2000s.

The U.S. Psychological Operations team member Sgt. Mark Hadsell, said:

“If you play it for 24 hours, your brain and body functions start to slide, your train of thought slows down and your will is broken. That’s when we come in and talk to them.”

Any torment technique is of easy to refute merit — music torment was, partially, mainstream on the grounds that it appeared to be more tasteful to the general population. Anyhow to find out about the knowledge of individuals who’ve been subjected to these tunes is to see exactly how frightful it is to have a darling tune betrayed you.

Following are the list of songs which CIA used to torture their prisoners:

Eminem – The Real Slim Shady

Dope – Take Your Best Shot

Christina Aguilera – Dirrrty

Mohamed el-Qasabgi –  Zikrayati (My Memories)

David Grey – Babylon

Barney – I Love You

The Bee Gees – Saturday Night Fever

The Meow Mix Theme

Marilyn Manson – The Beautiful People

Deicide – Fuck Your God

Queen – We are the Champions 



Ummm so basically what you’re saying is the CIA captured terrorists and played an awesome Spotify playlist for them?  Wow, sounds inhumane.

I mean look at some of these tracks.



A classic from one of the greatest rappers in the history of hip hop.  Not just a song, but a look at history being made, a chance to be a part of something.



David Gray Babylon is some chill ass adult-rock, entire album is hot as hell.  This Year’s Love in Girl Next Door, what’s up.



Did they show them the video? Because would be literally the opposite of torture.  So many memories to this video I get half chubbed just seeing the extra “R”s in the title.



Little bit of disco never hurt anybody, gets you moving, gets that blood flowing after a long 48 hour session of being crammed in a tiny box.




I’m not a Marilyn Manson guy but this isn’t too bad right? Nothing wrong with expressing some angst.




One of the best songs from one of the greatest rock groups of all time.   Sorry we’re not sorry for that one.




Ok ok, the Barney and Meow Mix themes are pretty bad.   And the Dope and “Fuck Your God” songs are a tad intense, I could see the non-satanist-death-metal crowd not being fully on board with it (pun intended).   But let’s remember, this is torture after all.  They can’t all be enjoyable.   You’re being punished for terrorism not turning down a house party.

Anti-Gay Priest Named Gaylard Arrested For Groping Guys and Asking For Blowjobs In A Parking Lot With A Stack of Gay Porn In His Car
Dec 221:40PM EST

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Daily BeastThe victim, whom The Daily Beast is not naming, asked what Williams wanted and the pastor allegedly “reached in and grabbed him.”

At first the soft approach was tried. Williams allegedly “wiggled his fingers near his genitals” and told cops the pastor “tried to tickle me.”

When that failed, Williams tried groping the man’s groin. Quizzed by cops, the younger man said Williams grabbed “everything” and “squeezed [his genitals] and he got a good handful.”

Instantly, the young man panicked and tried to convince his attacker that he wasn’t interested. “He told Williams, ‘I don’t swing that way.’”

But, according to the report, Williams kept pushing the man for some fellatio: “The guy was trying to get him to suck his dick.”

Again, the younger man protested to Williams he was “barking up the wrong tree.”

The incorrigible pastor then tried to suggest the lakefront was a routine place where he congregated for blowjobs.

“He told him he liked to get his [penis] sucked here and there and [sic] told him to go find somebody then.”

Clearly, the advances were not reciprocated but Williams “continued to talk about sucking dick.”

At which point the victim told the sheriff he warned Williams to back off by showing off his gun, telling Williams he has a permit.

The young man reached for the pistol and when Williams asked what he was doing, the young man told the pastor it was “a handgun if you care to know.”

Williams then retreated and tried to make a dash for it.

The young man had the presence of mind to tail Gaylard Williams out of the park and jot down his license plate.

Jackson County sheriffs dispatched to the lake where the alleged sexual battery claims took place ultimately spotted Williams’s GMC and pulled him over.

Williams said he went to the lake to take a stroll “because of his heart.”

The preacher gave sheriff deputies permission to search his SUV but warned them “there was something bad” inside. That supposed contraband was a gay porno that Williams tried to suggest was something he was messengering over for a friend.

“Gaylard said he was taking the gay pornography video back to someone.”

He said the video was “a promotional thing” that he received in the mail at his church office.

A deacon at Pastor Gaylard Williams’s church told The Daily Beast the parish is floored by the “mind-boggling” charges lodged against the man described as “absolutely principled.”

The church member admitted he returned to town to learn of the whopper of a tale: His pastor for almost a decade was caught allegedly soliciting for gay sex acts.

“He’s said that he’s not perfect and that only Jesus Christ was the only perfect person to walk the earth and he was crucified,” the church deacon, who requested anonymity, said in a phone interview.


When it came to drawing a line in the sand on hot-button religious topics, Pastor Gaylard Williams took issue with gossiping almost as much as he loathed homosexuality.

His homophobia occurred mostly in closed quarters, when the topic of gay marriage was broached.

But everybody in the congregation knew—or thought they knew—where Williams stood when it came to homosexuals: The pastor declared publicly in the past that intimacy among same-sex couples was wicked.

“He stood by the pulpit and said, ‘The Bible is clear on that. That’s sin; you’re going to go to hell for doing that.’”

On the evangelical church’s website the sect aims to live by a code of “Moral Purity.”

“We are to walk in the Spirit and not fulfill the lust of the flesh… Sinful practices which are made prominent and condemned in these scriptures include homosexuality and adultery” and “are forbidden by God and lead to the worship of Satan.”

In keeping with the facade, Williams showed himself to be dedicated preacher who “knows his scripture.”

“He’s good,” the deacon attested. “He’s got a ton of verses memorized.”

The deacon said he is devastated about the pastor’s behavior. It’s not as much the groping; to him, that remains something of a he-said-he-said mystery. The deacon’s really irate over the porn that was pulled from inside Williams’s car.

“It blows me more,” the deacon said. “Him touching the guy—that’s one of those deals where they each are saying something—but the video is physical…That’s there. I want to know why it was there.”




Listen I’m not a huge stickler for the rules and I’m certainly no moral authority, but I do know this – if you’re an anti-gay pastor who preaches about how homosexuality is a sin and makes your living off bashing gays, you really can’t get caught down at the lake trying to force guys to give you blowjobs.  You can’t fondle their balls, you can’t grab their dicks, and you certainly can’t do all this with a mountain of gay porn on the front seat.  And also it would help to not have the name Gaylard.  Like could you really not change that name?  You’re an anti-gay guy and you stuck with Gaylard?  You know tons of people change their names and it’s pretty easy right?  Fucking Gaylard. Worst homophobic priest ever.  Clean it up homophobe.



PS – That deacon knew exactly what he was doing with that quote - “It blows me more,” the deacon said. “Him touching the guy—that’s one of those deals where they each are saying something—but the video is physical…That’s there. I want to know why it was there.”  Gaylard and the Deacon were definitely getting it in on the DL.


Golden Showers and Giant Potatoes, It’s the Week 1 of Bowl Season Mini Roundup
Dec 221:20PM EST

It’s Bowl Season bitches!!




Ok not really any games that anybody cares about, unless of course you go to the school, have a son on the team, or are a degenerate gambler.

But we’re a college sports blog so we’re gonna report on the scores real quick damnit.


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548 total yards for Utah, that’s a lot of yards, exciting stuff.


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Utah State won a Bowl for the 3rd straight year, go nuts Aggies fans.


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From 2-10 to 10-3 and winners of the Potato Bowl, talk about a turnaround.


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If you weren’t watching the RayCom Media Camellia Bowl at 10 PM on a Saturday night…what the fuck WERE you doing?


Anyway that’s out of the way, now on to the more interesting stuff.  Like hot ass Potato Bowl cheerleaders.







The Vegas Bowl got the best of this CSU tailgater.


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Final Score – Utah 45, Colorado State 10, This Guy -4.



That awkward moment when your new girlfriend’s parents ask what you do and you say you are the Umbrella Holder for a giant potato.


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At least it’s an honest living, the world needs ditch diggers and potato mascot suit water prevention technicians too.


Lol, do you get it


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Raise your hand if that made you giggle because you’re immature like me.


Doesn’t matter how bad the games are, some people just need their college football fix.  Even if they’re in the middle of refereeing a basketball game.


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Dan Mullen won Christmas sweaters for the weekend.


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KFC probably hates it though.





Louisiana Lafayette won their 4th straight New Orleans Bowl.  Why do I care?



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1, because that’s impressive.


2 and more importantly, because poor Brock Hekking is probably on the depression bender to end all benders right now still.


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Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014
Dec 2212:45PM EST


All 100 in one place for your streaming pleasure, as per usual you’re welcome.  #FreeBobby

Click to stream the Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014


a few highlights…

#1 - Drake – 0 To 100

#2 – Taylor Swift – Blank Space

#3 - Zedd – Find You (ft. Matthew Koma & Miriam Bryant)

#4 - Rick Ross – Sanctified (ft. Kanye West & Big Sean)

#5 - Katy Perry (ft. Juicy J) – Dark Horse (Elephante Remix)

#6 - Lana Del Rey – Brooklyn Baby

#8 - Calvin Harris – Outside (ft. Ellie Goulding)

#9 - Iggy Azalea – Fancy (ft. Charli XCX)

#11 - Beyonce – Drunk In Love (The Weeknd Remix)

#12 - Lorde – Tennis Court (Flume Remix)

#13 - Makonnen – Tuesday (Remix ft. Drake)

#16 - Alt-J – Left Hand Free

#21 - Mike WiLL Made-It – Buy The World (ft. Future, Lil Wayne & Kendrick Lamar)

#23 - Skrillex – Recess (ft. Kill The Noise & Fatman Scoop)

#24 - Jeezy – Seen It All (ft. Jay Z)

#31 - ZHU – Faded

#32 - Future – Move That Dope (ft. Pharrell, Pusha T & Casino)

#33 - Clean Bandit & Jess Glynne – Rather Be

#35 - Rae Sremmurd – No Flex Zone

#36 - Chromeo – Jealous (I Ain’t With It)

#41 - Magic! – Rude (Zedd Remix)

#42 - Kendrick Lamar – i

#51 - Hippie Sabotage – Stay High (Tove Lo Flip)

#52 - Bobby Shmurda – Hot Nigga

#61 - Lorde – Team (Elephante Remix)

#62 - PartyNextDoor – Recognize (ft. Drake)

#71 - Rae Sremmurd – No Type

#81 - Goldlink – Sober Thoughts (Prod. Kaytranada)

#82 - Coldplay – A Sky Full Of Stars (ft. Avicii)

#91 - RAC – Cheap Sunglasses (ft. Matthew Koma)

#92 - Ty Dolla $ign – Or Nah (The Weeknd Remix ft. Wiz Khalifa)

Little Kid Writing A Letter To Santa In Character As Bowser From ‘Super Mario’ Should Probably Be On Some Sort of Watch List
Dec 2212:00PM EST


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A teacher posted this letter to Santa on Reddit from one of his students written as though he’s Bowser while saying it’s an example of how creative and genius the little video game fan kid is. And though empathy is great and all, this kid seems to be a little too in the mind of Bowser for me to be comfortable with it. Justifying the kidnapping of innocent Mushroom Kingdom royal family members and pretending as though it’s “love,” acting like he didn’t have anything to do with the hundreds upon thousands of attempts on Mario’s life, making it seem like we should feel bad for him and his dozens of castles even though 99% of the population seem to be just wandering around homeless before getting stomped to death. Relate to the heroism of Mario, appreciate the loyalty of Toad, understand the struggle of being an unemployed blue collar worker like the Hammer Bros. But Bowser? When you’re an 8-year-old kid able to find this much humanity in the Kim Jong Il of the Nintendo world, you’re pretty much crying out for help and a few therapist sessions in your Christmas stocking.



Also kid if you’re going to do Bowser fan-art at least put some effort into it like this one. Sick sunglasses, double headed guitar AND a pot leaf behind him? Now this is the kind of Bowser you support mass genocide for.


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New Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Arrested For Telling Club Bouncers “I’m Going To My Car To Get My AK-47 and Spray This Place”
Dec 2211:20AM EST

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Buffalo - Chad Kelly, a former local high school football star who signed a major college football scholarship offer last week, was arrested early Sunday after police say he fought with bouncers trying to evict him and a companion from a downtown bar and restaurant and later scuffled with police.

Kelly, 20, of Niagara Falls, refused to leave Encore at 492 Pearl St. about 3:15 a.m. and punched a bouncer in the face, Buffalo police said. Kelly’s companion, Brandon Hickey, 21, of Clarence, had been thrown out of the bar earlier and tried to re-enter, police said.

Kelly continued to fight with two bouncers and stated “I’m going to go to my car and get my AK-47 and spray this place,” according to a report.

Buffalo police officers responding to that alleged threat stopped a 2005 Ford F-150 pickup truck in which Kelly was a passenger at 458 Pearl.  Kelly was forcibly removed from the vehicle, officers said. Police said Kelly kicked and tried to swing at officers as they removed him from the vehicle. They said he resisted getting into a patrol vehicle and struggled with staff at central booking.

Kelly faces multiple charges including third-degree assault, second-degree harassment, second-degree menacing, resisting arrest, fourth-degree criminal mischief and second-degree obstructing governmental administration. Kelly was arraigned later in Buffalo City Court and released without bail to await further court proceedings.

Chad Kelly, nephew of Buffalo Bills great Jim Kelly, signed a scholarship offer with the University of Mississippi on Wednesday. He had previously signed with Clemson after a record-setting career at St. Joe’s.



Chad Kelly, love this guy.  Total loose cannon.  Last time we heard from him he was getting kicked off the Clemson team for rear ending Miss South Carolina’s car. (And also having like 150 team rules violations).    Now we got him threatening a bar with an AK 47 and fighting cops.  Little bit of mass murder at a Buffalo bar on a casual weekend night.  Ole Miss has a real gem on their hands, just hope they know how to harness it.

Oh you don’t believe he’s a next level football player?  Just ask him.

Chad Kelly, SWAG, Under Armour All American SWAG, Doin it big G5 SWAG





Monkey Saves His Monkey Bro’s Life After He Gets Electrocuted On Train Tracks
Dec 2210:47AM EST




UprxAbove, please find a video from Kanpur, India that depicts a monkey going to great lengths to save his friend’s life. Apparently the injured monkey had been messing around on some wires above the train station in Kanpur and got electrocuted. Enter our hero, who sprung into action by slapping, biting, and slashing water on his patient — for almost five full minutes — until the electrocuted primate started showing signs off life again.




Wish I had a friend in the entire world that cared about me as much as this monkey cares about his monkey bro.  That’s some deep dedicated shit right there.  If I fell on the tracks waiting for the 1 train and landed directly on the third rail my friends would probably be like shit…that sucks….k where’s the next bar again?

Kind of depressing now that I think about it actually.  But I’m not sure I’d get down there either to be honest.  There’s rats and homeless people and shit.  Nobody’s got time for that.



Jameis Winston Cleared Of All Charges In FSU Student Conduct Hearing
Dec 2210:15AM EST

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CFT - Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston has been cleared of wrongdoing in his Code of Conduct hearing with the university, his attorney David Cornwell tweeted Sunday.

“In sum, the preponderance of the evidence has not shown that you are responsible for ANY of the charged violations of the Code,” he wrote.

The hearing was held Dec. 3, and a decision was not expected until next month.

Former Florida state supreme court justice Major Harding presided over the case.

“This was a complex case, and I worked hard to make sure both parties had a full and fair opportunity to present information. In sum, the preponderance of the evidence has not shown that you are responsible for any of the charge violations of the Code. Namely, I find that the evidence before me is insufficient to satisfy the burden of proof,” Harding wrote in a letter obtained by USA Today.

“As summarized in the preceding paragraphs, the evidence regarding the events that unfolded between you and (the woman) once in your room is irreconcilable. In light of all the circumstances, I do not find the credibility of one story substantially stronger than that of the other. Both have their own strengths and weaknesses. I cannot find with any confidence that the events as set forth by you, (the woman), or a particular combination thereof is more probable than not as required to find you responsible for a violation of the Code.”

While the alleged 2012 sexual assault will likely follow Winston through the civil courts and the NFL Draft process, it will not bar him from completing this season – and likely his college career.

Florida State’s Code of Conduct says that his accuser can pursue an appeal, but it would not be heard before the Jan. 12 College Football Playoff Championship. Moreover, the 2012 Heisman Trophy winner is widely expected to declare for the NFL Draft by the Jan. 15 deadline.




Teflon Jameis strikes again!   Cue the music!






Tough to believe this one TBH.  Really thought FSU was going to bring the hammer down.  Ha ha just kidding.