Lil bit of T Swift, Kid Cudi and Gambino all getting chopped and slopped together for some certifiable mashup heaters. Preview the goods below and get the rest of the lineup (along with free downloads) on Barstool Beats.
Older people are bad at the Internet, not really treading new ground with that revelation. But some sort of time-bending comment about how if you were 30 years younger you’d be sticking it to your own teenage daughter? Very bold move, huge step up from a bumper sticker about being proud of your daughter on honor roll. But that’s 2014 for you. We’re getting dumber every year while social media photos are all the rage and getting sluttier every minute. So you might as well get some satisfaction from your kid excelling at a field where so many people are out there putting in work. She may be getting Cs in school but as long as she’s showing off some solid Cs online better than her friends, a dad’s got to have something to brag about. Sounds like the Father of the Year award just got sealed up. Way to adapt, pops.
I have to point out that this may just be some genius next level parenting right here. Don’t want your daughter showing off her prominent pubis and jugs on social media? Just comment about how you’d totally stick it to her if you were her age, maybe throw something in one of those jizz emojis the kids use while you’re at it. Instant way to get her back on track. There’s a 30% chance it’d send her to a nunnery but at least she’s not flashing beef for Instagram hearts. In a world where a substantial amount of Internet content ends with us saying “Never have a daughter,” it seems like a play that’s worth the risk. More importantly, if this is the case, I really think this dad needs to ascend to some sort of leadership position immediately. Dad chess going on while everyone else is playing slutty daughter checkers.
As you can all see Providence and Quinnipiac were fucking wild. Like these went way beyond our expectations and blew the venues to shreds. Girls were wild, Dante had some amazing tracks and all in all it was amazing. Now we have Worcester and Hartford who need to show the fuck up October 24th and 25th to Blackout harder than we have ever seen before. These shows WILL sellout so get tickets while you still can!
Barstool Blackout: Worcester – The Palladium – Friday October 24th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW )
Barstool Blackout: Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW)
After dropping something fierce on “Candler Road” last month (Ariana Grande collab notwithstanding), Donald gets back to copying Drake his softer side on his latest single, “Sober,” off the upcoming STN MTN/KAUAI mixtape.
CBS - Miami reserve quarterback Kevin Olsen was arrested Monday morning and charged with DUI and possession of a fake or stolen driver’s license, Associated Press reporter Tim Reynolds and other outlets reported Monday.
The 19-year-old Olsen, brother of Carolina Panthers tight end and former Hurricanes star Greg Olsen, is being held on a $6,000 bond.
Miami athletic director Blake James told the AP that Olsen has been suspended indefinitely, pending review.
According to the arrest affadavit reviewed by the Miami Herald, Olsen failed a field sobriety test, registered a .04 on a breathalyzer test, and refused to offer a urine sample. Olsen was carrying six different IDs from four states and of two people — one, per the affadavit, belonged to teammate Ronald Regula — and admitted one from Maryland was a fake.
A redshirt freshman expected by many to win the Hurricanes’ starting quarterback job when spring favorite Ryan Williams tore an ACL, Olsen was suspended for Miami’s season opener at Louisville for a “violation of team standards.” Freshman Brad Kaaya has served as the Hurricanes’ starter, with transfer Jake Heaps the team’s No. 2. Per the AP, Olsen is currently listed as the Hurricanes’ fourth-string quarterback.
.04? We’re talking about a 0.04 here? Come on now. This is a U Miami QB we’re talking about here. Not only that but the brother of a famous alum and former Canes superstar. Sure he may be 3rd string or 4th string which I didn’t even know was a string, sure he may have six different IDs on him with at least one of them being fake. But how do you not look the other way on this? On a .04? Really?? Is that even illegal?
Tough break for Olsen and sad because this will probably spell the end of his Miami career. But if there’s one, just one tiny little piece of good news to take from all this, it’s at least you nailed the fuck out of the mug shot. Seriously take that picture out of context and you got a hell of a Facebook or Tinder profile pic. Only thing that’s illegal from this story is having hair that looks that good IMO.
I’ve gone off before on how it’s bullshit how women can change their appearance wildly using makeup, photo tricks, and other shit but this is literally the worst. At least if you’re using makeup, there’s some degree of reality there inasmuch as you still do technically have a face. But with socks, layers of makeup, and a complete disconnect with reality, now she’s dropping Ds on us like nobody’s business without a hint of tit meat to start. It’s just fucked up. If you hate your rack that much, spend a couple grand on some silicone to mask your shame like a real woman. It’s not like people will never find out when you’re doing this, eventually both the socks and the truth have to come out and you’re just begging for disappointment or a seriously uncomfortable double mastectomy cover story when that time comes.
I also enjoyed this video of a girl using makeup to trick guys into thinking she’s good looking. Think this chick would do an episode of the Rundown? She’s probably a huge Stoolie.
PS – Obviously the boob girl could get it with or without the padding which is why it’s all the more disappointing. I’d bury my face in those Old Navy tube socks any day of the week whether I knew about it or not. She’d be keeping them on so often that she’d need some tough actin’ Tinactin on her nips by week’s end.