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The Blackout Tour Continues The Fall Tour…. Worcester October 24th and Hartford October 25th

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Sep 212:15PM EST

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School just started… and you know what that means, its time to Blackout! We’re bringing you two more shows, one in Worcester at the Palladium October 24th and one in Hartford at the Webster Theatre October 25th. Tickets go on sale Thursday at NOON  and both of these will sell out. Hartford, Worcester get ready to Black the Fuck Out!!!

 

 

Barstool Blackout: Worcester –  The Palladium – Friday October  24th – BUY TICKETS  (Tickets on sale Thursday at NOON )

Barstool Blackout:  Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale Thursday at NOON)

UF Sorority Alpha Omicron Pi Goes #TitsOutForTheBoys To Celebrate The End Of Rush

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fuf-sorority-alpha-omicron-pi-goes-titsoutfortheboys-to-celebrate-the-end-of-rush%2F
Sep 211:30AM EST

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UF - An inappropriate picture of UF’s chapter of Alpha Omicron Pi Sorority (AOPi) sisters is circulating on social media.

In the photo, five sisters flash the camera while smiling and posing at a party.

One post on Facebook read, “And with this, the seniors say goodbye to Recruitment forever.” The photo has also appeared on Twitter and mentioned on the smartphone app, Yik Yak.

UF spokeswoman Janine Sikes said the photo has come to the attention of UF administration.

“Steps are being taken to address the issue, and we talked to the chapter president and asked her to advise headquarters,” Sikes said.

“It doesn’t appear to be a conduct violation, but this is something these women will have to live with for the rest of their lives,” Sikes said.

 

 

NSFW picture 

 

 

 

Sorority girls.    God I love sorority girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey UF Spokeswoman, ever been to college?  Pretty sure flashing a little bit of butt and boobies isn’t at the top of the list of things sorority girls will regret having to live with for the rest of their lives.

 

 

 

 

PS – If anyone turns up evidence that this picture isn’t actually UF sorority girls please don’t tell me.  Please just let me have this one thing.

 

2016 Recruit Kwe Parker Puts Out The Single Most Ridiculous Dunk Mix Of All Time

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Sep 210:50AM EST

 

 

That sound you hear is the cash counter in Coach Cal’s office firing out $20 bills and the zippers of some XL duffel bags opening and closing.  Just no chance he’s going to stand for this:

 

 

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Not after that display.   Seriously this kid is 6’2″.  6 feet 2 inches.  How is this even humanly possible?

 

 

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That’s just sick.  Plain and simple.

 

 

 

Three Winners And Three Losers From The Weekend In College Football

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Sep 210:15AM EST

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(pictured: losers)

 

 

- WINNER: High-paced offenses:

 

Specifically ones from the state of Texas. Of course, the high-octane machine in Oregon was firing on all cylinders (No Time of Possession? No problem). But the real impressive performances came from Baylor, who’s first half against SMU was as dominant as a football game can look, and Texas A&M who suddenly catapulted themselves into the SEC-contender conversation and aroused questions about if Johnny Football was more a product of Kevin Sumlin than anything else. More on this later in the blog.
Also shoutout for the West Virginia offense for giving Bama everything it could handle. It’s an open-secret that the coaches for WVU are huge stoolies, using Big Cat as a play card and sending Blackhawks blogger @BarstoolChief free Mountaineer swag in exchange for his fandom. Here’s to a great Big 12 campaign in Morganstown.

 

-LOSER: The Big 10:

 

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The big loser of the week was the Big 10! It feels like bowl season already! Just look at the four favorites to win the conference! Ohio State against Navy? Needed a big fourth quarter to squash Navy’s upset-bid and looked extremely soft on defense! Iowa against Northern Iowa? Came down to the last possession for them and their secondary looked like one of the worst in football! Wisconsin against LSU? Lost one of the most heart-breaking and horrifically-coached losses in recent memory! Penn State needed a late field goal to eke out Central Florida, Northwestern lost a winnable game, injury and transfer concerns and all, to Cal. We couldn’t even blow out Youngstown State or Western Michigan (thanks Illinois and Purdue!) The only one who had positive weeks were the two teams from Michigan, where they did an excellent job stomping out inferior opponents. So good job to them I guess?

 

-WINNER: Todd Gurley’s Heisman Campaign:

 

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Of all the current Heisman favorites, Todd Gurley was by far the most impressive and it wasn’t even really close. Want to know how good this kid is? In his total career, which spans 402 carries and 2,572 rushing yards, he has just 50 yards of loss. No one is a better vertical, North-South runner than him. And with Hundley of UCLA looking unimpressive, Winston having flashes of brilliance but being altogether uninspiring, and Melvin Gordon’s stats probably going to be largely discredited now to being against terrible opponents (remember, the Heisman is more about media hype more than reality), it was a GREAT week if you were one of the people who took the Georgia Running back at 12/1 to bring home the hardware.

 

-LOSER: Gary Andersen’s Honeymoon Period:

 

Obviously what happened in the Wisconsin game doesn’t need to be recapped here. A quick look at LSU’s win probability chart will tell you everything you need to know about that game. The Badgers hopes of reaching the Four-Team playoff are essentially zero now; the only situation I can see that would allow them to contend again would be if Michigan State beat Oregon, and Wisconsin beat Michigan State in the Big 10 title. Even then, the Badgers would have an outside shot of entering. While the fallout will play out how it will, one thing is clear in Madison; the honeymoon period for Gary Andersen is over. The dream hire for many UW fans is now 0-5 in close games during his tenure in Wisconsin, and while some of that is outside his control, it’s a troubling trend that has not escaped the eyes of his fans and detractors alike. I know for a fact, from a little bird who whispered something to me, that Melvin Gordon was not seriously hurt in that second-half. His 2 total touches after opening the 2nd half with a 60+ yard gain is even more head-scratching the further away you get from it. Andersen’s seat isn’t warm, yet, by any stretch. But questions are being asked.

 

-WINNER: New-Guard SEC Coaches:

 

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Hugh Freeze, Guz Malzhan, and Kevin Sumlin, stand up! I won’t regurgitate the roughly 7500 articles on the internet right now about how Sumlin’s beatdown of Spurrier at home looked like a passing of the torch, and ironically stirred up memories of when the Old Ball Coach himself revolutionized the conference in the 90’s. I will say however that my biggest takeaway of the weekend was that for a conference that has been moving from being characterized by impossibly tough defenses to being a more offense-driven conference, those three coaches are thrusting the SEC even further in that direction by the day. The Freeze system works for Ole Miss and will go as Bo Wallace goes, still the Jekyll and Hyde of quarterbacks even in his senior year. But when his decision-making and accuracy are there, the Rebel offense looked like they could move the ball against anyone. Malzhan’s two-QB system proved effective as hoped. Sumlin’s offense led by Kenny Thrill (that’s all I’m calling him this year. His name is Kenny Thrill now) looked unstoppable. The clash of styles this year in the SEC will be terrific.

 

-LOSER: BCS Buster’s Playoff Hopes:

 

You don’t need to be Kirk Herbstreit to know a BCS Buster wasn’t making the playoffs, but some of the more contrarian analysts insisted not to overlook Boise State, Fresno State, and Central Florida. Well, much like Michael Corleone, all the family business was settled in week 1 by the Power 5 conferences. Sorry non-AQ’s, not your time to sit at the Big Boy’s Table just yet.
And finally…

 

 

-WINNER:

 

Gamblers who write for BarstoolSports.com . Big Cat and Pres in their gambling podcast debut each went 1-0 in their mortal locks. Impressive work fellas, although I will note that I tweeted TWO mortal locks and went 2-0 on them (Ole Miss -20 and Georgia -7.5). You can get more of those mortal locks by following me on twitter @CharlieWisco. And THAT is how you seamlessly and shamelessly plug yourself and end a blog at the same time. Until next time.

Barstool College Football Roundup: Week 1

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Sep 29:30AM EST

It’s good to be back!   Week 1 is in the book and that can only mean one thing, everybody’s favorite college football blog on the entire internet has returned.   Going to make it a little more organized and formatted this year, let’s jump right into it with no regard for human life like a bunch of Baylor students.

 

 

 

 

The Top 10…

1) Florida State

Number one team in the country looked a little rough around the edges coming out of the gates.  Luckily Jameis was around to do Jameis things and get it under control.  Almost forgot how good he is.

 

 

Don’t sleep on that OK State QB though.  Dude was pretty electric.  Well, except for this crushing, game losing fumble.

 

 

PS – Red Lightning mixing it up in the middle of a brawl, would you expect anything less?

 

 

 

2) Alabama

 

Another top team, another struggle to kick off the season.   In a nutshell:

 

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Hard to put on the blame on them though, with the plays they had to go up against:

 

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Bear Bryant himself would find it kind of tough to coach against a team with a mustachioed blogger going tits out for the boys.

 

Don’t tell Clint Trickett they lost though.  After throwing a 1 yard pass to the flat on 4th and 11 to close out the game, all he could think about was trying to smash out Kristen Saban…again.

 

 

3) Oregon

 

Didn’t watch, this shit is on too late for me, but it looks like nothing but Golf and Yoga kept Mariota’s head on straight and focused on nothing but the Heisman.

 

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4) Oklahoma

Easy win, easy action in the stands.  Great start.

 

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5) Ohio State

 

Unimpressive and flat and, no matter what the final scoreboard says, squeaking by Navy.  Life post- Braxton might be a lot tougher than everyone thought.

 

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(more…)

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Mel from Kent State

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Sep 29:00AM EST

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Introducing Mel from Kent State.  Golden Flash bringing you back from the holiday weekend in a big big way.

 

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Chick Just Having A Ball Getting Off Courtesy Of A Slingshot Ride At An Amusement Park

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Sep 111:17AM EST

 

 

The prime season for amusement parks is almost over but I’m betting this girl hopes it never ends. Why spend money on a pocket rocket when you can just go to Six Flags, pound some funnel cake, then drop slug trails all over the rides while your friend seems completely non-plussed towards you seemingly having the greatest orgasm in the history of orgasms? People below probably needed the log flume’s splash guard to keep from getting doused, it’s like front row at an old Gallagher show down there.

 

Bet that chick who married a ferris wheel feels like a real dick now. That’s the price you pay for settling down with the first 4-ticket amusement park ride with smooth talk and lubed up chassis you see.

 

 

(via Blame It On The Voices)

New Mexico State Chick Gets Bundled By A Horse During Pregame

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Sep 110:31AM EST

 

LAS CRUCES >> Just moments before kickoff, Zaina Atyani, a student who works for NMSU’s athletics marketing department, was helping coordinate pregame activities on the new artificial turf at Aggie Memorial Stadium. What has become a tradition at all Aggie home football games is Keystone, a horse that circles the playing field with Pistol Pete atop.

 

 

 

 

Monday Morning Metaphor for a whollleeeee lot of celebrities right now.  Think you’re having a nice relaxing enjoyable long weekend, next thing you know, boom, your tits and asshole get hacked out of your iCloud and flood the internet/you get bundled to hell by Pistole Pete on Keystone the Horse.

 

 

 

 

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h/t Kevin F.

Rihanna Smoking A Blunt In A Bikini Showing Why She Should Be Every Girl’s Bae Instead Of Beyonce

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Aug 3112:00PM EST

 

 

Women everywhere go breathless when Beyonce dances, posts a photo, or takes a shit. But she’s all flash, no substance, and can’t even keep a marriage together. Meanwhile Rihanna’s out there just loving life, bikini tits out for the boys, smoking blunts and not taking it all that seriously. Just zero fucks given. Sure she may go back to a guy who Mr. Miyagi’d her into submission from time to time but that’s life. The beauty is in the imperfection. She’s living every moment like they were intended, not some phony version designed to make everything look clean and perfect. Give me the real chick who’ll smoke me under the table any day.

 

Plus let’s be honest, you’re taking Rihanna in bed over Beyonce 730 times out of ten. I’m not treading new ground here but Rihanna just gives off the most aggressive dick wrecker vibes of anyone in music while Beyonce probably refers to herself in the third person and says things like “Mmrrrm you love being inside Beyonce don’t you baby.” With Rihanna you’d be pissing off to the right for a month like your stream was kicked by Scott Norwood but it’d absolutely be worth it.

 

 

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Eastern Michigan Just Reinvented The Entrance Game With The Cinder Block Wall Sledgehammer Routine

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Aug 3111:15AM EST

 

 

 

 

Remember when the Patriots all came out of the tunnel together during the Super Bowl and everyone lost their shit and thought it was the best thing ever?  Well welcome to the next stage of football entrance evolution.  The “erect a gigantic stone wall and have a couple guys come out with a sledgehammer to knock it down.”  And no, that’s no prop out there.  Those are real heavy stones that I’m pretty sure just caused at least 4 injuries and significant fatigue for 3 of your players before they had to go straight into a game.  Making your guys go through legitimate manual labor before a big game, not the best idea maybe, worth it for the theatrics though.

 

 

Crack up every time I watch #77 get so pissed off and just start kicking and punching the thing.  Hey athletic department, I’m a fat guy stuffed into this tiny ass spandex uniform, I’m sweating my balls off, I just want to get on the field and crush some skulls.  Please at least remove some of the base of the damn cinder block wall next time to make it a little easier?