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Rate Johnny Football’s First Snickers Commercial “Johnny JamBoogie”
Aug 2811:03AM EST




One word:  SUPERSTAR.    Born to do 2 things, win football games and dominate celebrity life.     Johnny Manziel aka Johnny Football aka Johnny Rookie Bitch aka Johnny JamBoogie.  Most electric QB2 in the league and it’s not even close.





Seriously if Brian Hoyer morphs into like the second coming of Joe Montana this year, looks like Hollywood will be a pretty easy transition.





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PS – Could they have picked an older dude to play a Browns football player?



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Curious casting choice.  Honestly thought he was going to eat the Snickers too and turn into a real football player instead of a grandpa in pads.

Arizona State Police Arrest 392 Kids First Weekend Back
Aug 2810:40AM EST

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Phoenix Times - A police task force in Tempe focused on alcohol-related crimes made 392 arrests over the weekend, which was the first weekend since the fall semester started at Arizona State University.

This is the second year that the Tempe Police Department has organized its “Safe and Sober” campaign at the start of ASU’s fall semester. Over a stretch of three weekends last year, more than 1,300 people were arrested.

The 392 arrests over the weekend was an increase over the same weekend last year, which ended with 371 arrests.

This weekend’s arrests included 146 DUI arrests, 112 arrests for minors consuming alcohol, 35 more for minors possessing alcohol, and 99 arrested for other offenses.

As was the case last year, police expect to make more arrests in the coming weekends.

“Thursday’s football game will be a big predictor of how things go,” Pooley says.




“Safe and Sober”?   Umm did anyone tell these cops they’re at Arizona State?  Have they ever heard of it?  ”Safe and Sober” is literally dead last on the official list of Arizona State mottos.  Seriously running a “Safe and Sober” arrest campaign during the first week back at Arizona State is borderline criminal and without a doubt unconstitutional.   Come on guys.  Unless a frat bro walks up to you,  chugs a handle of Everclear, rips through a line of blow, then physically smashes a beer bottle over your head, I’m pretty sure you can just turn the other cheek and let some college kids be college kids.  Got to be something more important to do crime-fighting-wise than trying to catch 19 year olds drinking.



And FYI this is how I picture every single night at ASU, Monday through Sunday.


Sportscenter Anchor John Anderson Calls USC A “Clown College”
Aug 2810:05AM EST




Tell em how you feel Anderson!   Clown College might be a little bit of a stretch but that was quite the murderer’s row of negatives right there.  Pete Carroll. Stripped of National Title. Stripped of Heisman. Lane Kiffin. Probation.  Josh Shaw.  Not exactly a hot streak by any means.  But whatever bro that’s just college football.


Locker room looks like it’s in a good place though to kick off the season at least.


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Josh Shaw was aggressively confronted by a teammate in the USC locker Monday morning — with the player screaming at Shaw to “come clean” about the false hero story.

We spoke with multiple sources in the USC athletic department who all say the same thing … the player who confronted Shaw — a respected member of the defense — was pissed off because he knew the story was bogus and got right in Shaw’s face about it.

During the confrontation — which occurred right after the initial story about Shaw saving his 7-year-old cousin from drowning was posted on a USC media outlet — the player yelled at Shaw, “Why you lying?”

We’re told the situation got very intense very quickly — and several teammates rushed in to separate the two before things got violent.  (TMZ)



Shit’s getting reallll weird in downtown LA.





PS – How my girl Heather Brit isn’t talking more shit to her haters after taking so much heat then being completely right is beyond me.  Come on girl, get after em!



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South Carolina School District Dismissing Kids At Noon Today For The Texas A&M Game…Fans Show Up At State House Late Night For “Yell Practice”
Aug 289:30AM EST



COLUMBIA, SC (WIS) -Seven Richland One School District schools will dismiss early due to traffic concerns ahead of Thursday night’s South Carolina game at Williams-Brice Stadium.

According to a district spokesperson, Rosewood Elementary, Meadowfield, South Kilbourne, A.C Moore Elementary, Dreher High, Hand Middle, and the Olympia Learning Center will let students out early on Thursday.

Rosewood, Meadowfield, South Kilbourne, and A.C Moore will dismiss at noon, Dreher will let out at 12:45 p.m., Hand students will be let go at 1:30 p.m., and the Olympia Center will dismiss at noon.

District officials point to street closings and traffic changes ahead of Thursday night’s televised show down between the Gamecocks and the Aggies as the reason why the kids will be home early.




FOOTBALL IS BACK BITCHES.  Don’t believe me?  Ask the 10 year olds who are heading home at noon to day to have plenty of time to get ready for the game at 6 pm.  Or, juts check out the scene at the South Carolina state house last night.





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It’s pandemonium.    Fuck sleep.  Fuck education.  SEC football >>>>>.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Ariana from UCF
Aug 289:00AM EST

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Introducing Ariana from Central Florida.   #BarstoolBuns like you read about.



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Booty Queen Bruna Lima Has A Little Wednesday Night #fitspo For Us All
Aug 279:15PM EST

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Wednesday night, summer’s almost over, it’s easy to lose sight of your fitness goals. Thankfully Bruna Lima, xoobruna on Instagram, is here to fill us with inspiration and blood to our lower extremities in the name of fitspiration. With a little hard work, dedication, and squats, you can go from having a big great ass to having an even bigger great ass with slightly more definition that vaguely resembles something Wile E. Coyote attempted to drop on the Road Runner’s head. What a testament to hard work at the gym.



Something tells me you or I would not get the same reaction if we tackled these workouts at the gym:


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Is it wrong that I was a little turned off that she works out at Planet Fitness? Oh, no one else noticed that because of all the ass? Fair enough.

Barstool Beats Top 10 w/ Drake, Katy Perry, Jeezy, Ariana Grande + The Weeknd, Eminem
Aug 278:45PM EST

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With a moment of silence at #4 for Jeezy gettin got on some bullshit gun charges, stay strong ma dude.

Click here to stream the Barstool Beats Top 10


USC’s Josh Shaw Came Clean And Admitted He Made Up The Whole “Rescuing The Nephew” Injury Story
Aug 277:04PM EST


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Not quite sure I’ve ever seen a bigger fall from grace in so short a time span than Josh Shaw right here. From absolute hero to absolute zero in like 4 hours yesterday, now capped off with him finally admitting it. And yes it is now official, I will never write another blog praising anyone ever again unless it is independently verified by 45 sources.

I will say this though. I ABSOLUTELY respect the go big or go home lie he told right here. Could have gone a million directions and he chose the most unbelievable amazing fantastical hero story he thought of on the spot, And then doubled down with the interview saying he’d do it again for any kid. Nothing but admiration for that power move.

Barstool U Hump Day Smokeshow – Sarah from Michigan State
Aug 275:30PM EST

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Introducing Sarah from MSU.  Hump Day baby, so close to the holiday weekend I can taste it.



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New ‘Madden’ Is So Realistic That It Even Has Eli Manning Doing The Manning Face
Aug 274:50PM EST



Sure Madden 15 has a glitch or two like players being blocked 30 feet into the air and landing in a paralyzed heap or, in the same clip, Sam Bradford being able to drop back on a pass without his knee turning into Swiss cheese. But for every hilarious glitch that pops up over the next few weeks, you have to admire details like this being included in the game. You can literally feel Eli Manning staring at his receiver, pretending to be confused as to why the receiver ran an out instead of over the middle. I bet the Charlie Brown sulk back to the sidelines is as satisfying as a video game can get.



Also, as a follow-up to Smitty’s blog yesterday on “How old is too old to buy Madden?”, I’m one of the guys who downloaded Madden on Xbox One pretty much as soon as I woke up yesterday so here’s my review. The game looks better than it ever has (there are points that it genuinely looks like a TV presentation, it’s incredibly impressive to see in action), actually tries to teach you about recognizing coverages and team tendencies, and they’ve done a lot to try to change gameplay in a non-invasive but more skillful way. But at times the game is geared too heavily to the types who spend their entire lives playing the game. Gone are the days of hit sticking your way to glory, now it’s a more complicated conservative tackle v. aggressive tackle system, and the Connected Career mode made what used to be a blast of turning your favorite team in Franchise Mode into something laborious and often way too in-depth — our Orioles blogger RDT told me yesterday that fans in the game bitched at him on Twitter about the rising cost of sweatshirts. If you’re the obsessive type, I’m sure that’s great, but I just like being able to blast through here and there, make some trades and signings, and call it a day. It’s amazing to see how far Madden has come from its first iterations on Sega and Super Nintendo but it’s just all so much now.



But that’s the trade-off for Manning Faces and Tony Romo blowing my first game as the Cowboys for me by botching a hand-off while running clock in the 4th quarter. What a joy it is to have your real-life rooting interests thrown in your face while relaxing to play a video game, too.