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Big Sean (ft. Drake + Kanye West) – Blessings

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Jan 301:00PM EST

Big Sean #blesses us with a new single off Dark Sky Paradise, featuring none other than Drake (who we heard from last week on Sorry For The Wait 2) and Kanye West hot off a collab with Paul McCartney and Rihanna.  Look out for the album February 24.

P.S. Kind of sounds like “All Me” Part 2, in a good way.

This Australian Newspaper Dropped One Of The Meanest Obituaries Ever On Some Fat Dead Lady

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Jan 3012:20PM EST

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BF – Prominent national newspaper The Australian is under fire for its obituary of famed author and neurophsyiologist Colleen McCullough, who died on January 29, aged 77.

The opening paragraph of the obit was immediately ridiculed online for its sexist and inappropriate language.

 

 

This is tremendous. It’s absolutely the meanest writeup of a dead person I’ve ever seen, especially one who actually accomplished things like writing books and brain surgery (which, along with rocket science, is universally accepted as the hardest job around). Even Hitler probably got a mention for his art in his. But this one is so overtly terrible that it goes full circle back to being great. “Oh cool you churned out works of art and also excelled in one of the most difficult fields of science imaginable, crazy how you were able to do that despite being a homely pig woman.” I mean technically it only adds to her mystique. She could unravel the greatest complexities of the human brain but she couldn’t quite figure out how to be less doughy and aesthetically unappealing. It’s almost poetic. A reminder that God doesn’t give with both hands.

 
 

Real talk this obituary is fucked up and all but she’s kind of asking for it. “I’ve never been into clothes or figure and the interesting thing is I never had any trouble attracting men” is such a cocky quote and I bet it’s spot on. That Orson Welles pussy must be dy no mite. …well, I guess not any more. Probably smells better now though.

Richard Sherman and Michael Bennett Call The NCAA “One of the Biggest Scams In America”

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Jan 3011:30AM EST

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Richard Sherman

“I don’t think college athletes are given enough time to really take advantage of the free education that they’re given, and it’s frustrating because a lot of people get upset with student-athletes and say they’re not focused on school and they’re not taking advantage of the opportunity they’re given.

“I would love for a regular student to have a student-athlete’s schedule during the season for just one quarter or one semester and show me how you balance that. Show me how you would schedule your classes when you can’t schedule classes from 2-to-6 o’clock on any given day. Show me how you’re going to get all your work done when after you get out at 7:30 or so, you’ve got a test the next day, you’re dead tired from practice and you still have to study just as hard as everybody else every day and get all the same work done.

“[T]hose aren’t the things that people focus on when talking about student-athletes. They are upset when a student-athlete says they need a little cash. Well, I can tell you from experience, I had negative-40 bucks in my account. Usually my account was in the negative more time than it was in the positive. You’ve got to make decisions on whether you get gas for your car or whether you get a meal for the day. You’ve got one of the two choices. People think, ‘Oh, you’re on scholarship.’ They pay for your room and board, they pay for your education, but to their knowledge, you’re there to play football. You’re not on scholarship for school and it sounds crazy when a student-athlete says that, but that’s those are the things coaches tell them every day: ‘You’re not on scholarship for school.’”

Michael Bennett

“I think the NCAA is one of the biggest scams in America, because these kids put so much on the line, and they study hard, they play football as hard as they can, but if they don’t crack the NFL, then [the NCAA] says, ‘We gave you a free degree.’ That’s like me owning a restaurant and saying, ‘I’ll give you a free burger.’…I’m just giving you something I already have. Athletes don’t get enough credit, and a lot of the schools don’t really do anything for the guys after they graduate. I think there are very few schools that actually care about the players.

“Guys break their legs and they get the worst surgeries you could possibly get, they see the worst doctors, they get the worst treatment, then they’re stuck with injuries for the rest of their life, and to say that you get a degree doesn’t mean anything to me.

“I think the NCAA should come up with a plan for college athletes to receive some of the money they bring in for the schools. I think my school, Texas A&M, averaged $50 million just on jersey sales. They sell numbers of guys that don’t have names on the back of the jerseys, but we all know who No. 2 is for College Station: Johnny Manziel, he makes so much for the university but he doesn’t see any of the money.

“They need to come up with some kind of program. I would say, maybe $60,000 for every year you stay in college, and then at the end of the year they keep in some kind of 401k. You stay in college, you graduate, you keep that money until you’re a certain age, and then after that you get that money and you get to determine what you want to do with it. And that gives you the chance to do something special in life, because you give so much to the schools, and they just move on.

“Of course, they can pay Jim Harbaugh $48 million because they don’t have to pay any of the athletes. The athletes are the ones that make the school, it’s not really the coach. If Nick Saban doesn’t have those athletes that he has, can he still be Alabama?

“When I was in college, I’d be going to class, some student comes to me and says ‘I pay your tuition.’ I’m like, you don’t pay my damn tuition. My mom paid my tuition when she worked two jobs, and I woke up every morning at 6 a.m. and I worked hard. To think about it, it makes me so mad and irate that people are so simple-minded when it comes to something like that.”  [transcript via]

 

 

Not a Richard Sherman fan in the least but when you’re right you’re right.  NCAA is a corrupt system of frauds and assholes.  Insert South Park clip here:

 

 

Hey did you guys know Richard Sherman went to Stanford?

Honestly that was the thing that shocked me about these comments.  The fact that Richard Sherman didn’t mention the college he went to at least 4 times in that one statement.  (It’s Stanford, that’s where he went.  The answer is Stanford).

Kent State Bro Blasts Indiana Jones Theme Song Every Time The Fedora Wearing Professor Walks In To Lecture

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Jan 3010:50AM EST

 

[via Reddit] - One of my professors wears a hat that looks like Indiana Jones’. Someone did this when he walked into class today.

 

 

 

Pretty funny.  Judging by today’s college climate though I wouldn’t be surprised if this student was promptly removed from class, placed on social probation for 2 years and forced to write a 6-8 page essay on teacher bullying.

 

Indiana Jones movies, ranked.

 

1,435) Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

 

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(Did you know this has a 78% on Rotten Tomatoes?  Literally shocking. Worst piece of shit ever.  Fucking ALIENS!)

 

3) Temple of Doom

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^ this motherfucker

 

2) Raiders of the Lost Ark 

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1) The Last Crusade

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Dude drinking from the wrong grail and turning into a skeleton still haunts my dreams sometimes.

Guys Try To Pick Up Girls Using Only PornHub Comments

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Jan 3010:07AM EST

 

Props to these guys for finding the most efficient way to getting arrested for sexual harassment/curb stomped by any boyfriends in the area.  Just walk up to random girls and read the dirtiest comments you can find on PornHub, boom.

 

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I love how these prankster idiots have basically just adapted “it’s a prank” as the new get out of jail free card.  Like you can just walk up to anyone anywhere and say or do whatever you want then expect nothing to happen because “it’s a prank.”  That because you have an iPhone on record mode and a Youtube account that nobody should be allowed to get mad at you.   It’s like the new “no offense, but..” then you say the most racist shit ever.  “I would love to fuck that pussy and cum in that ass”…no no dude beating the shit out of me, it’s a prank! It’s just a prank for YouTube!  

The Game of Thrones Season 5 Trailer Leaks Online…Best Friday Ever

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Jan 309:30AM EST

 

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If there’s a better way to wake up on a Friday morning than seeing the trailer just dropped for Game of Thrones Season 5 I’d love to hear what that is.  (Ok maybe if you woke up next to Daenerys while all that happened that would be a little bit better, but still – pretty sweet.)

 

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“The Seven Kingdoms need a Ruler loved by millions, with a Powerful Army and the Right family name.

Good luck finding him.

Who said something … about “him”?”

 

 

 

Anyway big ups to the dude sneakily filming while attending a re-screen of Season 4 in IMAX, most hardcore/best/nicest fan ever.  That’s the kind of guy who’s read every one of the books twice and still doesn’t leave spoilers in internet comment sections.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Brittany from ASU

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Jan 309:10AM EST

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Introducing Brittany from ASU.  Helloooo Sun Devils.

 

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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Jennifer from UC-Davis

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Jan 295:30PM EST

 

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Introducing Jennifer from UC Davis.  Oops kmarko just broke the smoke machine again.

 

 

 

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10 Most Popular Playlists of 2014 on Barstool Beats

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Jan 295:00PM EST

Not a ton of top quality new new right now, so I figured I’d #TBT it with the most popular new playlists on beats last year.

Feitelberg’s “Getting In Shape, KFC’s Wedding Edition” - Not sure if it worked, but it was a damn good playlist.

Get In Shape KFC Wedding Edition 2

KFC’s “White People House Party” - Just about every KFC playlist has to do with being white, this one’s super white.

xl_white_people_house_party

“Jamcro” - 2014 marked the last ride for the SOA, but they still live on through this 60+ song playlist inspired by the show.

JAMCRO_3

Smitty’s “Common Man Blues” - Smitty, so common.

CommonManBlues_6

KFC’s “Beats of the East” - KFC does East Coast rap.  Classics abound.

EAST

kmarko’s “Bangerflamez” - The king of the bangerz aka kmarko’s magnum playlist opus.

karmko

Nate’s “90′s Music Throwdown” - All the biggest 90′s hits, from Nate’s weekly blog series.

90s music throwdown

Zollo’s “Bring Your Whole Crew” - The best rap playlist ever made.

Bring Your Whole Crew

RickRoz’s “Or Nah” - My girl RickRoz gives the world a lesson in 2014 R&B 101.

Or Nah

Chief’s “Gone Country” - Chief hit us with some fire country flames for the summer.

Gone Country

Update…Ex-Oregon State Student Arrested For Filming Porn In The Library

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Jan 294:41PM EST

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Daily Mail - A porn video that a former student made in the stacks of the Oregon State University library is getting university administrators hot under the collar.

Kendra Sunderland, 19, became the talk of campus when she posted a video on PornHub that showed her stripping out of her top and touching herself for 31 minutes in the crowded Valley Library in Corvallis, Oregon.

The clip became a sensation on campus – passed around among students on social media. It was viewed more than 260,000 times in just a few days before PornHub took it down, KEZI-TV reports.

Many students expressed shock that she was able to perform so long in the crowded library without anyone noticing. University administrators were furious that a a former used the Oregon State campus to film a porn video. This week, the Oregon State Police arrested Sunderland on a charge of public indecency. She was cited and released.

Some students were dismayed at the infamy Sunderland brought to campus. Others were amused. Many, though, were surprised she was able to get away with filming a porn in the crowded library for half an hour without being caught by anyone.

‘I feel like it’s always packed. I don’t know how anyone could get away with it,’ student Shelby Wilson told KEZI.

University spokesman Steven Clark said monitors patrol the campus library – but they can’t be everywhere at once.

‘Imagine six floors; 340,000 square feet. It’s used by 30,000 people on average every week,’ he told KEZI.

Sunderland joins a long list of college students who have taken educational detours into porn. Most famous is perhaps Belle Knox, the Duke University student who says she started doing porn to pay her tuition.

 

Previous Blog

 

 

Free Kendra!  Free Kendra!  Free Kendra!  Seriously, arrested?  Huh?  She wasn’t bothering anyone.  Nobody even noticed her when she was there, you said it yourself.  Just put on her show nice and quiet, uploaded it for millions to be entertained with on the internet, then quietly went back to…well, not her dorm since she doesn’t go to school there, but…somewhere.  Don’t really see the point of punishing her for it if nobody was hurt by it. Should be a rule, if you don’t catch the person in the act fingerblasting themselves all over a webcam, you can’t go back and arrest them retroactively.  Either step your patrol game up or deal with the consequences.

 

Biggest travesty here is that PornHub pulled the video.  WTF PornHub?  Never took them for a site that would cave to outside pressures.  Like if a girl wants to film herself rubbing her boobs all over a library and put it up there then it should stay there for the rest of time, that’s my opinion at least.

 

 

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