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Guy Who Paid Off His Parents’ Mortgage For Their Christmas Present Just Destroyed What You Gave Your Loved Ones
Dec 2612:20PM EST

Gawker – Joe Riquelme built the popular iPhone video editing app Videoshop, and his project has been so successful that he was able to surprise his parents this Christmas by paying off their mortgage.



This is obviously great for this family, the dude, and it’s a beautiful Christmas moment. You can’t hear the mom cry and not respect and feel something with all of that. But I’m not entirely sure why everyone online is going nuts over this video. I had a great Christmas, spent time with family and gave some well-received gifts, travel was relatively painless, got a crockpot, really 100 all around. Then I see this guy here just fucking smashing all the gifts we exchanged in the face and changing his parents’ lives and I feel like a real dickhead. Even if his parents are living in a shithole he basically just dropped like 20 large on them and completely changed their lives for the better whether they were broke or middle class. Great for them, awesome gift, but completely undermines everything that just filled my heart with Christmas spirit. Thanks for overachieving, Joe.


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Then again I guess if your dad looks like the Santa on a holiday version of full-sugar Mexican Coca Cola, you should be held to a different standard than the rest of us.

Rate This Dude’s Jameis Winston/FSU Tattoo
Dec 2611:50AM EST

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Think about your family, your friends, your dog, your girlfriend or wife, every single thing you love in the world, now times it by 20 and add 100 – that’s how much this dude loves Jameis Winston.


College football, it’s not a game, it’s a way of life.  Thursday can’t come soon enough.





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If You’re A Chick Dropping A Hot Instagram Pic On Christmas, Might As Well Posterize Your Dad In The Process
Dec 2610:45AM EST

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This girl has been a smokeshow on Barstool before and she’s a great follow, booty for days. But more than anything, I love the hustle here whether she’s joking or not. It’s Christmas, you’re looking hot as fuck and letting the 70K dudes who follow you on Instagram know it, might as well just rub your your absentee dad’s face in it in the process. A+ Instagram post all around. And sorry to any of you who have a daughter but the shots fired on pops only adds to the hotness of it all if we’re being honest.



Most of you degenerates probably weren’t degenerate enough to keep up with the Instagram model chicks grinding away with slutty pictures while you were busy having families and eating mediocre ham so here’s a roundup of what you might have missed (with some of the captions included because they struck me as funny given the circumstance). Needless to say the celebrated birth of our Lord and Savior is a real panty dropper if your business is showing how many spokes your asshole has for Internet likes.



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One for you too, Canada. Tis the season for giving.

This Chart Showing How Much Everyone In America Drinks Is Going To Make All Of You Feel Like Alcoholics
Dec 269:48AM EST

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WaPo – Do you drink a glass of wine with dinner every night? That puts you in the top 30 percent of American adults in terms of per-capita alcohol consumption. If you drink two glasses, that would put you in the top 20 percent.

But in order to break into the top 10 percent of American drinkers, you would need to drink more than two bottles of wine with every dinner. And you’d still be below-average among those top 10 percenters.

The top 10 percent of American drinkers – 24 million adults over age 18 – consume, on average, 74 alcoholic drinks per week. That works out to a little more than four-and-a-half 750 ml bottles of Jack Daniels, 18 bottles of wine, or three 24-can cases of beer. In one week. Or, if you prefer, 10 drinks per day.



The Washington Post casually tweeted out this article and chart at 4PM on Christmas Day with what I presume was the intent to make everyone slugging back booze to make Christmas with their families tolerable question everything about their life choices. Real dick move. We see a lot of these types of “According to science, blah blah blah” news items come through but none of them have made me go “Wait are you fucking serious” like these findings from a book about alcohol control called Paying the Tab. The numbers here are just ridiculous…30% of people don’t drink AT ALL and then another 30% on top of that are just having one drink a week? I guess on some level I can understand the no drinks group, fear, bad experiences with alcohol for themselves or a family member, fine, there’s some logic there. But what the hell is the point of one drink a week? You’re clearly not getting drunk off of it and you don’t seem to enjoy it enough to be drinking for flavor. And when you’re drinking that little there isn’t even the “antioxidant health benefits” of drinking red wine nightly that my Grandma uses as an excuse to slug back a jug of Merlot. Just a total flip flopper thing to do. Either join the rest of us in drinking for the sole purpose of escaping the misery of our very existence or start throwing back Capri Suns and chocolate milk with the rest of the Mormons. No half measures.



For the top 10th percentile pounding over 10 drinks a day and presumably not even knowing what life is like without being completely plastered or working through a violent hangover, I salute you. You may not be able to hold down a job or family or remember what it’s like to not be leaking aggressive beer shits out of your asshole 24 hours a day but your commitment to greatness is unparalleled. A stint on or off the wagon might be something to consider though.


CMU With The Craziest Hail Mary In College Football History In The Bahamas Bowl
Dec 243:46PM EST






Don’t ask me why I was watching the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl live, I don’t have a good answer for you.




PS – Just assumed they’d kick the extra point,  but CMU went for 2 while I was running to my computer to put a play from live TV to Youtube to Blog in 30 seconds.  Fade route?  What an idiot!

Barstool U Christmas Smokeshows – Alexis and Tashy from Miami
Dec 242:00PM EST

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Introducing Alexis and Tashy from Miami.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!



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DraftKings $200K Holiday Classic Signups Are Live
Dec 241:30PM EST

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How to make Christmas awesome.  Step 1, enter the DraftKings Holiday Classic for 20 bucks.  Step 2, ignore your family, get hammered and watch the NBA all day.  Step 3, watch your team turn that $20 into $25K.  At least that’s what I’ll be doing.



Contest Details:
-$200,000 Christmas Day Classic
-$25,000 first place prize, top 2,300 places win cash
-Draft a team of 8 players from the 5 NBA games being played on Christmas Day and win a share of $200,000
-Just $20 to enter and you could go home with the $25,000 1st place prize




Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Karrah from Florida Gulf Coast vs. Parisa from Oakland U.
Dec 241:00PM EST

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Karrah from Dunk City


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Parisa from Oakland U.


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1 for Karahh…5 for Parisa


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (164 votes, average: 3.26 out of 5)
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Wale – Festivus
Dec 2412:20PM EST

Wale hits us with the perfect soundtrack to the airing of grievances, a new mixtape featuring appearances from Pusha T, Chance The Rapper, Ab-Soul and A$AP Ferg and with an assist from DJ legend A-Trak.  Not gonna lie, didn’t listen to a second of this, but RickRoz said it’s good and that’s all I need to hear.

Click to download Festivus

Huffington Post Dude Reports Antonio Martin Shooting Story Completely Wrong After Getting Trolled By “Jesus Christo” On Twitter Who Was Trying To Sell Mixtapes
Dec 2412:04PM EST

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Mediaite- Following another fatal shooting of a black teen by a police officer near Ferguson, MO, the Huffington Post published a version of events it said came from the second subject at the scene, a report the site later retracted when the source was revealed to be a Twitter prankster.

St. Louis police fatally shot a man at a gas station Tuesday night in Berkeley, MO, a town just west of Ferguson. The subject was identified at the scene as Antonio Martin, while a second suspect was believed to have fled. As Martin’s name was hashtagged on Twitter, one tweet caught some eyes.

If you want it to, that sounds like the second subject at the scene. Jesus Christo quickly became the source for the Huffington Post story, which preceded the statement from the St. Louis County Police, in which Christo told a story portraying the officer as the aggressor.

Jesus Christo’s story has since been removed from HuffPost’s article. And the author, associate editor Sebastian Murdock, has apologized.




Hey no big deal Huffington Post journalist (and I use that term loosely).  Just a little mistake, classic mix-up that happens to everyone.  Getting a tweet from “Jesus Christo” on Twitter saying he was in the middle of the biggest story on the news cycle and running with it on a site that gets millions of viewers.   Not like racial tensions and issues with police are at an all time high or anything, what’s the harm in running completely unverified claims about police basically murdering a black teenager in cold blood a few miles away from Ferguson and reporting it as fact?  If it turns out to be wrong we’ll just yank it down 10 hours later, no biggie.  Plus what are the chances DesJuan The Thug with a timeline full of links to his mixtapes on SoundCloud is yanking our chain.  Slim to none probably.



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Heard Rolling Stone is hiring.  Probably make you Editor in Chief after this one.




PS –  Thoroughly baffled by the Twitter policy on blue checkmarks.


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