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Cal Sends Out Victory Email With 25% Off Deal To Celebrate Beating Arizona…Promptly Gives Up 36 Fourth Quarter Points And Loses On Hail Mary

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fcal-sends-out-victory-email-with-25-off-deal-to-celebrate-beating-arizona-promptly-gives-up-36-fourth-quarter-points-and-loses-on-hail-mary%2F
Sep 221:50PM EST

 

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Game of the weekend outside of Tallahassee.  Just don’t tell the Cal social media marketing intern how it ended.  Poor bastard drew the short straw having to stay in on a Saturday night to tweet and email about the game.  Probably just wanted to blast that shit out so he could hit the bars with his buddies.   How was he supposed to know the defense would literally implode?    36 fourth quarter points!?!

 

 

 

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Just bad luck is what that is.

 

 

 

 

32af4e20-4156-11e4-abec-99f1ca416e5d_AZHailMary

Louisville Drops New “#SHOWTIME” Uniforms For The FSU Game

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Flouisville-drops-new-showtime-uniforms-for-the-fsu-game%2F
Sep 221:30PM EST

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Does Jameis look scared of #Showtime?

 

 


 

Appreciate the effort but Adidas uniforms for big time college football = poor people shit.  Under Armour or Nike me one time.

 

 

Official grade:

 

 

post-31458-Jim-Carrey-disgust-puke-gif-Du-5Lr8

 

 

 

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (20 votes, average: 2.95 out of 5)
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Mashup Mondays

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Sep 221:00PM EST

MashupMondays

Sander Van Doorn, Cash Cash, Wiz Khalifa, Eminem and HudMo are all getting mixed and matched for some grade A mashup jams. Get today’s whole lineup for free DL on Barstool Beats and kick off your Monday with the freshest crop of mashups on the block.

Click for the rest of today’s Mashup Monday + download links

This Budweiser Anti-Drunk Driving Ad With A Puppy Just Made Me Feel Way Too Much For A Monday

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthis-budweiser-anti-drunk-driving-ad-with-a-puppy-just-made-me-feel-way-too-much-for-a-monday%2F
Sep 2212:15PM EST

 

 

I just spent a weekend at a wedding where I’m pretty sure I had a beer in my hand every minute I was down there and I have to come home to this facial from Budweiser reminding me that I could have died and left my dogs humanless at any given moment? You kidding me, guys? These are Wednesday emotions to be dropping in my face, not Monday ones. I’m glad I watched it all the way through and — spoiler alert — saw that this dude got home and didn’t get mushed into a pile of meat while Rover was sulking at home waiting for his return but jesus guys the power of dog-human love should be used only selectively in ways that won’t crush me with emotions before my week gets going. Especially considering that dog bears a pretty strong resemblance to my little chick:

 

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Just too much for me to handle while I still have crust and who knows what other human bodily waste caked into my eyes. With great power and advertising budgets comes great responsibility, Bud.

 

 

PS I’m just glad this wasn’t a Canadian PSA or else we would have absolutely seen this dude violently die and his dog attend the funeral in a little doggy black suit (which, while adorable, would have been awfully tragic). Canada pulls no punches with their efforts:

 

 

 

Somewhere Ozzie Newsome just saw that video for the first time and audibly wondered if that guy’s got a 4.6 40 and if he’d take the minimum to fill in while Bernard Pierce is out.

 

 

via Uproxx

University of Alabama Locked Down After Psycho Threatens Sororities On Youtube And Social Media Rumors Of Men With Guns On Campus

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Funiversity-of-alabama-locked-down-after-psycho-threatens-sororities-on-youtube-and-social-media-rumors-of-men-with-guns-on-campus%2F
Sep 2211:45AM EST

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Comment left on this Youtube video 

 

 

Reader Email 

I go to school here and shit hit the fan tonight.

The last one that mentions “juju” is a next from Judy bonner, the UA president’s niece, so it is credible and true.

The email from the university is clearly bullshit. I am with a girl now who personally knows a girl who was attacked and choked by a stranger tonight as all this was going down.

-Anonymous

 

 

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ABCThe University of Alabama says police have searched a dormitory after receiving reports of people with firearms, but a thorough search found no weapons or people not authorized to be there.

In a statement on its website, the university said the information provided to university police and other law enforcement agencies about the situation at Tutwiler Hall was “based on rumors and social media posts and not actual witness accounts.”

 

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Scary shit at Bama last night but good to hear it was pretty much all overblown.  One psycho asshole leaving fucked up comments on a Youtube video and next thing you know everyone is hunkered down in full crisis mode.   Just got to take the good with the bad when it comes to Facebook and Twitter.  Great for keeping up with friends, tracking down smokeshows from class, learning stuff about the chick you want to talk to at the bar to get the conversation started, sharing pictures of all the awesome stuff you do.  Bad for stirring up total panic in stressful situations.

I Thought I Was The Biggest Johnny Football Fan On The Planet…I Was So Wrong

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fi-thought-i-was-the-biggest-johnny-football-fan-on-the-planet-i-was-so-wrong%2F
Sep 2211:20AM EST

 

 

 

This guy.  I need to have a beer with this fucking guy.  Obliterated drunk in the crowd in a JOHNNY shirt, that’s the only way to go through life son.

 

 

 

PS – I literally can’t watch that Vine and not laugh.  This dude is just SO perfectly Cleveland.

 

 

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US Senator Helps LSU Fan With A Keg Stand At Death Valley Tailgate

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Flouisiana-state-senator-helps-lsu-fan-with-a-keg-stand-seclife%2F
Sep 2210:45AM EST

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NBC - Here’s one way to try to appeal to young voters — Sen. Mary Landrieu, D-Louisiana, turned up at a Louisiana State University tailgating event on Saturday to greet her constituents and things got a little wild when students began prompting Landrieu, currently in a tight race for re-election, to take part in an age-old pre-game tradition: the keg stand.

Mother Jones reporter Tim Murphy was there and described the scene:

[Landrieu] is surrounded by raucous fans on three sides and a pile of pizza boxes on the other. The pressure mounts, again, for a keg stand. A chant begins. “Mary! Mary! Mary!” The senior United States Senator from the great state of Louisiana picks up the nozzle of the keg, and…does not do a keg stand. But she does help a purple-shirted bro do one.

Although she didn’t do one herself, the senator-assisted keg stand proved epic enough for photos of it to make the rounds on social media Sunday.

The senator’s campaign rival, Republican Rep. Bill Cassidy, dropped by the tailgate party about an hour later.

 

 

 

 

Yeah I know what everyone is thinking, oh look, another carefully controlled and planned politician photo op.  A last minute desperate strategy to appeal to young voters and try to pull out a tight re-election race.  A move orchestrated by a team of handlers and PR people to make the Senator look young and likable and in touch with the youth, make her appear that she’s just one of the normal people.  A real life repeat of Selina visiting the ice cream shop in Veep.   But I’m not going to be so fast to jump straight to being cynical and blowing her off.    This is LSU football.  This is game day in Death Valley.  This is that SEC life.  You make the effort to come out and slam some beers and hold my legs up while I take a keg to the face upside down you automatically get the points in my book, don’t care if it was a stunt you being here or not.   Senator Mary in a landslide.  I’ll pass out the buttons myself.

 

 

 

PS – Hey Bill Cassidy, be later to the party bro.  How hard do you think his campaign people are working right now to photoshop some picture of him taking a beer bong to the dome with one hand and shooting some pong with the other?

Barstool College Football Roundup: Week 4

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-college-football-roundup-week-4%2F
Sep 2210:00AM EST

“What’s that?  It’s Monday morning which means time for the college football roundup?”

 

EXCITED-GEORGIA-TECH-FAN

 

 

Week 4 is in the books.  Do you think Jameis knows he is suspended yet or na?

 

 

 

Clemson gave it a good run and honestly should have pulled it out, but couldn’t make the big play.

Well except this one.

 

Two Vines to sum up Maguire’s performance.

 

 

“Oh my god I suck so bad how am I getting so lucky”  - professional lip reader.

 

Oh and get a load of this White Walker motherfucker.

 

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LSU goes down…here’s a metaphor for how that must have felt.

 

 

stomp.0

 

 

 

 

 

Play of the day was the cadet saving Reveille from disaster

 

 

Give that guy a medal.  Dogs > everything.

 

 

Gators may have lost to Bama but this guy is still winning life every single time he takes his shirt off.

 

 

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Iowa Football LOL.

 

ASSIST

 

 

Melvin Gordon had a good game…but Next Week did WORK.

 

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Savage flag throwing game from stripes.

 

flag

 

Louisiana Tech cheerleaders just like you know what?  Fuck it.

 

LT-CHEERLEADER-FAIL

 

ANKLESSSSSSS.

 

OW

 

 

Ahh the DX suck it…the universal sign of disrespect.  Perfect for any situation.

 

SMU-SUCK-IT

 

 

Not the best decision making but fuck it, big time players make big time plays and something they just don’t work out.

 

TULANE-FAIL

 

 

Eastern Michigan…they showed up. Bet the QB wishes he didn’t though.

 

 

 

Best flop…EVER.

 

 

 

I think the flooding of the stadium was the best thing that happened to Michigan all day.

 

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Utah QB probably won’t remember the win though.

 

 

 

 

Pwn.

 

 

 

This cracked me up.  Poor fat dude.

 

 

 

We’ll let Jimbo’s postgame locker room speech take us out.  Remember fellas, no cursing this week!

 

 

Let’s Start The Week Off With The Most Epic Motivational High School Football Post Game Interview Of All Time

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Flets-start-the-week-off-with-the-most-epic-motivational-high-school-football-post-game-interview-of-all-time%2F
Sep 229:30AM EST

 

 

Holy shit.  Woke up today thinking it was going to be just another depressing Monday, time to cruise the internet for some Monday Morning Metaphor symbolizing how down in the dumps everyone was.  Little did I know the first thing I stumbled on would be the most epic motivational post game interview of all time.  Got a whole new lease on life now.

 

We’re gonna start slow this week, we’re gonna start slow ok?  But we’re gonna finish fast.  We’re gonna put our minds to it and we’re gonna finish fast.  Yeah the blogs might suck this morning, yeah we might have writer’s block, yeah we might have internet connectivity issues or computer malfunctions.  But we’re gonna  have guts and we’re gonna have an attitude and achieve everything we set our sights on.  Fire blogs, jaw dropping smokeshows, nonstop hilarity.  We’re gonna run through a motherfucking brick wall of internet humor thanks to Apollos Hester, wide receiver of the East View Patriots.  All it takes is that attitude.

 

 

 

 

 

Barstool U Monday Morning Smokeshow – Arianna from Alabama

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-monday-morning-smokeshow-arianna-from-alabama%2F
Sep 229:00AM EST

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Introducing Arianna from Alabama.  Roll tide!

 

 

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