Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool? Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll feature it some point during the week.
Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool? Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to email@example.com and we’ll feature it some point during the week.
So many smokes posted on the network every day it’s easy for some to get lost in the shuffle. Here’s making sure you didn’t miss any…
Bruna from FAU
Erin from ASU
McKenna from Loyola Marymount
Lyna from FAU (HARD 10)
Sydney from County College of Morris
Kristen from CS Northridge
Lexi from High Point
Brooklynne from Oklahoma
Alexandra from ASU
Yahoo – Air Force RB Devin Rushing injured an ankle on the Falcons’ second day of full-pads practice in August. He said he feared he had broken his ankle during an Oklahoma drill. Rushing said someone had grabbed his facemask and brought him down into another defender on the ground and his ankle got rolled up on. It wasn’t broken, however. The Colorado Springs Gazette said it was a Grade 2 sprain and he was back on the practice field after missing 10 days.
But he’s not on the field with his new number. He switched from No. 31 to No. 3 before the season and was told that he had to earn his jersey back.
“They took my jersey,” Rushing told the Gazette. “I talked to the equipment manager and he said my jersey is still in there with Rushing written on the back, but I’ve got to earn it back.”
Why? Air Force coach Troy Calhoun said he wants “tough, durable guys” on his team. Rushing was projected to be the Falcons’ starting tailback during the season and is now practicing with the second unit.
“I think at every position we’re going to have tough, durable guys,” Calhoun said. “If you aren’t, you’re going to get us beat. I think the other thing is you have a built-in alibi if you’re a guy who gets hurt easily. If you’re a guy who gets hurt easily, you need to find another activity where there’s not contact involved.”
Per the Gazette, injured players don’t simply wear red jerseys at practice either. At Friday’s scrimmage, players in red jerseys sat in the stands instead of on the sidelines. Rushing’s situation may not be that unique.
“They go to meetings,” Calhoun said. “I just think you either add to the chemistry or take from the chemistry. There’s no in between. If you’re a red jersey, I just don’t want anybody sucking the life out of everybody else who is working. Who is able to go out there even if they have an itch somewhere?”
Asked if he saw anything wrong with this policy, essentially excommunicating an injured player from the program until he heals, Calhoun offered only this: “I think a warrior wants to be in battle, and we want warriors.”
LOVE this hardo Air Force coach. An old fashioned 1960s hard nosed mean mugging football coach. A true throwback. Probably chain smokes cigarettes and constantly drinks from a flask on the sidelines during every practice, at least he does in my head. A guy who has completely shut himself off to everything that has happened in the past 2 decades, every social and cultural shift, every piece of media coverage, every new standard that coaches have had to adopt and follow. Just firmly stuck in the days where you could beat the shit out of your players and make them play hurt. Grade 2 ankle sprain? So basically what you’re telling me is your vagina is bleeding? Suit up and get the fuck back out on the field. Or don’t, and go take after school ceramics in the pottery wing. Up to you pussy. We need warriors who are ready to go to battle, not running backs with Grade 2 ankle sprains. Use your other ankle.
Katy’s been quiet since “Dark Horse,” nothing quiet about doing a song with Riff Raff though. I honestly kind of like the dude, I just can’t find a song of his that I can fuck with even a little.
Most women want a husband. Sure these days there are some über feminists who find value in themselves, don’t need a man blah blah whatever. The bottom line is most girls grow up at least wanting to be a beautiful bride or, at the very least, a pretty little princess with some Prince Charming to rescue them from monotony and lonely bean flicking for the rest of their lives.
Then there’s women who are so afraid of the cold embrace of death coming without having walked down the aisle and awkwardly done the “Funky Chicken” dance that their lives would be meaningless without it. The Twitter handle My Future Husband, which is run by two women and has over 26,000 I’m sure completely delightful followers, would be that extreme. Some of the more interesting tweets just from the last few days include:
Okay, not too bad. Every girl does this while quietly muttering to herself about “He’s not even that cute” or “She’s fat anyway, probably got knocked up. Whore.” I think most chicks would still be in.
There is NO WORLD in which a woman wants or should want that outside of the Brazilian scat porn equivalent of the Brazzers studios. In fact, if this were the case, I’d go so far as to declare it’d take some of the fun out of cutting one. It’s a violation of the social contract we have, like that episode of Seinfeld where George ran over the pigeons.
If there are any female Barstool readers out there right now — sup Kelly Hall how u livin — they should know that any man who would ever say this from you is far more likely to murder you in the shower while wearing a wig to look like his mother than he is to be the man of your dreams. That’s not poetic or romantic, that’s needy in a way that any rational woman would spit in the face of.
Isn’t this the equivalent of a guy demanding he be able to fuck his girlfriend whenever he wants? Pretty sure women have all agreed that’s sexual assault. This is a free nation, ma’am, and I’m not going to sit here and spend countless hours taking cuddle-rape showers because you can’t keep it in your emotional pants.
This one creeped me out, too. What crazy cat lady wants a guy to drop his possibly-swampy ass and sweaty balls on her feet to keep them warm? I’m not a fat dude at all but I still have 80 pounds on my girlfriend, I’m pretty sure that would qualify as domestic violence in most states. I like this guy Piyush running a little game on Twitter but the girls running this account better be careful. Piyush’ll stone a bitch if she walks alone at night with her “fog” in a heartbeat.
And I guess that explains why the future husband isn’t a present husband. I’ve been more than tolerant of female insanity once sex was on the table but to put up with it without the temporary release from life’s struggles of blowing a load in or around a girl? Get the fuck out of here with that shit.
Anyway feel free to go check the Twitter out yourselves and, if your girlfriend is following it, run for the hills leaving a you-sized hole in the wall accordingly.
USA - Cable’s WE network has just announced the greenlighting of Sex Box, a show that promises to feature couples having sex in a box on the set. The network says the series, produced by Relativity Television and adapted from a U.K. series (of course), “is an extreme therapy reality concept.”
Here’s how it goes:
Couples discuss their relationship issues with a panel of experts.
Then they “retire to a camera-free, soundproof” box on set to have sex.
While in there, a panel of experts will talk about them, discussing their initial observations and pondering whether the duo’s relationship will survive.
Then the couple must “emerge to immediately discuss their experiences in the box.”
No mention of how long they will be expected/allowed to spend in the box, but WE points out that an important “cuddle hormone” will factor into it all:
Scientists and researchers cite that people are more trusting and open in the moments immediately after sex due to the body’s natural release of oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone.” As a result, post coital couples therapy is more powerful and effective.
Wait you can’t actually watch the people have sex? They go in some shut off camera free soundproofed box to do it while we hear relationship advice from experts? Holy shit, not to throw hyperbole around, but I mean this literally: Worst TV show ever.
And I’m not just talking about for people to watch. I mean the contestants also. Seriously every other contestant on a show at least gets a shot at winning a ton of cash or cars or big prizes. Sure they may get humiliated and may have to go through some embarrassing stuff but at the end of the day there’s a chance you’ll be rich and possibly even famous. But an “extreme therapy” show? Where your entire relationship is analyzed on TV to millions of viewers while you’re stuck in a box and forced to have sex? And they’re monitoring how much you cuddle with a cuddle hormone monitor? Jesus. Plus how about when you’re done in your usual 1 minute and 30 seconds and either have to come out before the timer hits 2 minutes, or convince your wife (who probably hates your guts since you’re on this show in the first place) to stay in there longer with you to make it look good. Emasculation city. Not even joking they need to monitor and background check the shit out of anyone who willingly signs up to be on Sex Box because we’re talking about some real psychopaths right there.
At least we get some “exit interviews” when they’re done though. How was your experience in the box? How do you think it was? We did missionary for 3 minutes while I stared into a pillow and she looked at the ceiling probably thinking about what Bravo show she was going to fire up on the DVR when we were done then she yelled at me for finishing on her sheets instead of the towel she brought over. We’re on a fucking relationship therapy TV show.
CAMPBELLSVILLE, KY (WAVE) – Four firefighters with the Campbellsville Fire Department were shocked — one of them critically — while helping the Campbellsville University marching band with an ALS ice bucket challenge, according to a spokesman for Supporting Heroes, an organization that provides support to family members after emergency responders are injured or killed in the line of duty.
Eric Johnson said two of the injured firefighters are being treated at and will be released from a Campbellsville hospital today. The other two firefighters were transported to University of Louisville Hospital. One of them is in critical condition. The other is in fair condition, Johnson said.
Sources say the incident happened when the fire truck’s aerial basket touched power lines. Power went out across a wide portion of the Campbellsville area, affecting about 4,500 customers. A spokeswoman for LG&E-KU said the utility company took a transmission line out of service after being notified of the incident involving the line. Power has since been restored in the area.
Oook I think we’ve officially hit the tipping point on Ice Bucket Challenge videos. And no I don’t mean simply pouring an ice bucket on your head and nominating some friends and donating cash to a great cause. That should go on for as long as it’s bringing in funds to fight a horrible disease. I mean everybody trying to one-up each other and do bigger and better things in their videos. Trying to get more likes and shares than their friends, trying to be the next viral hit on the internet and get featured on the Today Show or Ellen or something. Don’t really think you getting more attention and praise for how awesome your video is is really the spirit of the challenge. And when we’re at the point that four firefighters are getting electrocuted into critical condition I think it’s time to rein it back a little bit. Don’t need ice water dumped on top of you from a 30 foot high firetruck ladder guys. Money’s still green no matter how much velocity the water has when it hits you. Fucking marching bands.
ESPN - Auburn football fans won’t get a shot at Harvey Updyke after all. The organizers of a Sept. 29 charity event in Mobile, Alabama, have pulled the plug on having Updyke appear for a pie throw or dunking booth.
Organizers originally believed having Updyke there might give Auburn fans a much-wanted opportunity to get even with him, after he infamously poisoned the beloved oak trees at Toomer’s Corner near the Auburn campus during the Tigers’ 2010 national championship season.
But Updyke’s appearance was canceled Thursday after former Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron’s mother, Dee Dee Bonner, and wife Katherine received death threats and other ugly messages on social media.
“It seems to be taking away from the primary purpose, which is raising awareness for children’s cancer,” Bonner said. “We don’t want to take away from the focus. We needed to get away from it.”
The event is to honor John Oliver, a boy from the Mobile area who died from cancer in July. The money raised will benefit Roses From Linda, a nonprofit organization that helps cover transportation costs so family members can visit terminally ill loved ones, as well as children’s cancer research.
“I think Mr. Updyke’s heart was in the right place with what he wanted to do, but I think too many people are still upset about what he did and haven’t gotten over it,” Bonner said. “I didn’t approve of what he did, but I think he really wanted to help.”
Well I think it’s safe to say I underestimated SEC fans. Here I was thinking they would show up in waves to the charity event and try to take out Harvey Updyke. Dress up in disguise in some XL Roll Tide shirts and elephant hats then rip them off at the last second and start pummeling his face in while yelling War Eagle holding his head underwater in the dunk tank. Little did I know they wouldn’t even last a few hours without getting it shut down by flooding Katherine Webb and fucking AJ McCarron’s mother with vicious hardcore death threats. Not even Harvey himself. So much hatred they went straight for the organizers. That’s some next level SEC shit. You got this nice charity event organized and think this would be a huge draw for attendance and donations? For what, anything important? Oh, cancer? Sorry but he poisoned our trees.
At the end of the day though, such a savvy move by Katherine and Dee Dee. You think they had any intentions of letting Harvey Updyke get dunk tanked and cream pied? Think they didn’t realize that the most hated man in the state of Alabama wouldn’t be welcome at a public event and get shut down before he even stepped through the door? They got their event in the top 10 stories on ESPN and have “Roses from Linda” information plastered on every meaningful sports site in the country, nationwide not just in Alabama. Charity awareness job well done.