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Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Dani from Arizona vs. Lanie from FSU
Oct 241:30PM EST

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Dani from Arizona


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Lanie from FSU












1 for Dani…5 for Lanie


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (91 votes, average: 2.41 out of 5)
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Lisa Ann On Her Relationship With Notre Dame’s Justin Brent: “It’s A MILF Revolution…YOLO”
Oct 241:00PM EST

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Sorry if some people are sick of hearing about Lisa Ann but this is easily my favorite story of the week.  Just so completely random.  One of the most famous MILF porn stars in the game going to sports games with a 19 year old Notre Dame wide receiver and tweeting out naked selfies.  Porn + sports + college football + selfies + YOLOs, it’s almost like the story was tailor made for me to blog about.


Also I don’t ask for much but a simple thank you from Lisa Ann would be nice, guarantee her video views have increased like 500% this week with all the times her name is getting dropped.




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Playlists From Barstool Bloggers Not Named Zollo
Oct 2412:20PM EST

For some reason this blog title is total clickbait.  I don’t get it.  Download the app.

Big Cat’s Surprisingly Cultured


Feitelberg’s Party In The USA (more from Feits)


kmarko’s Bangerflamez  (more from kmarko)


KFC’s White KFC  (more from KFC)


Nate’s 90′s Music Throwdown

90s music throwdown

CharlieWisco’s AIM Chat Room Bangers (more from CharlieWisco)

AIM Chat Room Bangers 2

Smitty’s Common Man Blues


Chief’s Gone Country (more from Chief)

Gone Country


Beardo’s 3 Scoops Of J3cked to the Face

3 Scoops Of Jack3d To The Face

Dude Sliced His Thumb Open And Now It Looks Exactly Like A Hard Dick
Oct 2411:40AM EST



Warning: This might be NSFW if you’re in an office and someone walks by quickly so here’s your chance to skip out on some hot thumb dick action and an incredibly awkward explanation.





According to the guy, he sliced his thumb on a grater while trying to make potatoes. But realistically, he’s probably just on some next-level fingerbang game. We’re all using index fingers like idiots while Mr Grumpy here is carving finger pee holes and putting on his own DP sessions without the awkwardness of having to look another man in the eyes while you simultaneously spray homoerotic regret on the same chick. Two dick chess while we’re all playing checkers.



It’s a HUGE Internet hardo move to comment on dick size — if we’re to believe the denizens of every subreddit, message board, and Twitter feed, everyone who’s ever posted a thought online is wielding a a python so big that it requires an entire blood bank to reach a full erection — but this description of the thumb dick is a booooold stance by this Buzzfeed blogger:






Super Hardo Louisville Restaurant Owner Removes Crab Legs From Menu Because Jameis Is Coming To Town
Oct 2411:00AM EST

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Jeff Ruby stop it!  Make the burns stop!  It’s too hot in here!



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SEMINOLE ROLL get it?   Too good.   Honestly wouldn’t blame Jameis if he didn’t even show up for the game.  Just hang back in Tally and let Maguire spin it again, shit is just getting way too hostile with raw bars sending out vicious burns like this.



Just got to keep the hater blockers on and keep grindin’







LSU Parking Lot Fight Has No Backstory But Does Have A Big Time Knockout
Oct 2410:15AM EST




This is what Vine was invented for.  Short, sweet, and somebody getting knocked the fuck out.  Night night!

Quick Justin Brent Update – Yeah, He Got It In With Lisa Ann
Oct 249:30AM EST





Maybe this wasn’t just some fling at the Knicks game?  Maybe it’s true love?  I don’t know.  Can you have true love with someone you’ve been watching get stuffed in every hole by 14 inch professional porn stars penises for the past 20 years?   All I know is there’s only two times you release a naked in bed selfie to the public, 1) if you’re ready to wife it up and be in a serious committed relationship or 2) if you’re teasing the upcoming Brazzers film you’re releasing later this week.   You know just about all of them will be going pro in something other than sports, adult video star is just as good a career as any.





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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Monica from UCF
Oct 249:00AM EST

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Introducing Monica from UCF.  Florida just feels so Friday.



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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Julianne from Palomar
Oct 235:30PM EST

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Introducing Julianne from Palomar College.  These small schools in Cali just churn out smokes.



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Vida Guerra Doing Squats In Yoga Pants Is The Only Throwback Thursday I Needed
Oct 234:51PM EST



Vida Guerra is one of those models from the early 2000s who blew up entirely because she has a fantastically oversized ass. Her whole gimmick was that she was just some amateur model chick from Jersey who won a contest for former guy magazine FHM and was thrust into the limelight and, subsequently, featured on a shit load of magazines after that with covers like this:





According to Wikipedia, Vida is 40 now and sure that’s theoretically way too old to be showing off your grundle on social media. But if I’m going to look at any picture that evokes the concept of “Throwback Thursday,” I’d rather have it be some chick whom I cranked would-be heirs out to in high school than some model who shows me her anus daily dropping a photo of herself as a kid to just confuse the whole thing. I don’t want to see models as kids. I want to see chicks past their prime finding inventive ways to look attractive even though their labia are practically touching the floor from years of dong traffic. Make me feel young again, the days where you jacked it as many times as possible in a day to see how many you can do, just shooting out droplets of dust in the name of self-exploration. That’s the kind of #TBT I prefer, not some girl who puts her tits out for photo likes showing me pictures that’d be more appropriately surfaced during Gary Glitter’s research for his autobiography. It’s time to make a stand. And it begins with Vida Guerra. It’s time to reclaim Throwback Thursday.



Vida Guerra8

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Public Service Announcement: Vida also did Playboy back in the day and had some “leaked” nudes back when those existed just to get someone more famous. Throwbacks ALL OVER this Thursday.