Barstool U - By the C - Student, for the C - Student.

Star-Telegram — The last thing George Whitfield Jr. expected was for Johnny Manziel to throw the ball. The Texas A&M star, after all, was blindfolded. Whitfield, a “quarterback whisperer” or, as he calls himself, a “quarterback engineer,” had never attempted the now-named Zorro drill with one of his protégés. He wanted Manziel to practice some air throws before actually throwing a pass to one of three receivers.

But on Manziel’s first three-step drop, Paris Cotton, standing some 15 yards away to Manziel’s right, clapped his hands three times, and the Heisman Trophy winner drilled the former Central Michigan running back in the hands. “Oh,” Whitfield said to Manziel, “you’re going to throw it.” Whitfield already had asked that all cameras be turned off, half-expecting Manziel to be all over the place once he did throw the ball. “I felt it,” Manziel said after the first blindfold attempt.

Kid’s a freak. He’s a phenom. Already has a Heisman trophy, dime piece girlfriend, and slaps home runs out of major league parks like it’s nobody’s business. Oh, not to mention he’s training to become Daredevil next season. Take away one of his senses and the others become stronger. Absolutely insane. I’m pretty sure if he went deaf and lost his sense of taste he’d just have a six inch growth spurt and increase his bench by 100 lbs.

Only downside to Johnny Football is he’s starting to make me feel like a horrible person. When he’s not winning, he’s busy visiting cancer kids and not being a degenerate smut peddler.

Sport Kings - Ware is on the road to recovery, and has received an immense amount of support from around the country that was documented by Pat Forde of Yahoo! Sports.  The sophomore guard has been piled with letters and notes to the point where he has a person in the University Of Louisville’s office dedicated to handling and organizing the plethora of things being sent Ware’s way. Some supporters have taken it a step further, and have sent Ware gifts as a kind gesture. One problem: many of these gifts violate NCAA policy and cannot be accepted. Forde lists some of the gifts that have been returned or used for other purposes:

A significant amount of the mail has been flagged for Return to Sender by Louisville’s compliance office because it violates NCAA rules. That stuff is in a separate bin, in a different room.  Gift cards for iTunes, restaurants and bookstores must go back. The box of T-shirts that read “Be Ware The Cards” on the front and “United Cards 5″ on the back will be shipped to the Daniel Pitino Shelter for homeless women and children in Owensboro, Ky. The guy who sent his business card, offering to cut endorsement deals for Ware, will not get through. Neither will the bags of herb coffee.  The cash must be returned, too. Plenty of people stuck small bills in greeting cards. Audrey from Louisville sent a dollar in a Get Well Soon card with a teddy bear on the front.  “The dollar is because I was raised well,” Audrey wrote, “and I don’t want the NCAA rules to come into play.”

They do. Even for a dollar.

In an interview about the article that he wrote, Forde says that Ware was sent dog toys by a supporter which could not be accepted per NCAA policy. The toys were for Ware’s baby pitbull named Scar, who Ware got after his surgery and symbolically named after the giant scar on his leg, Forde explained.

Emmert should write a book or something, “How To Make The Wrong Decision With Literally Every Single More You Make.”   Focus on the U Miami investigation, sprinkle in some chapters on player penalties for tattoos and game jerseys, end with a bang with Kevin Ware having to return doggy bones he got in the mail.     Oh you broke your leg off your body on national television and all your teammates cried and blacked out because it was so traumatizing?  Fuck you and fuck your dog.  No treats.  No iTunes gift cards.  No herb coffee.  No teddy bears.  ABSOLUTELY no dollar bills.  Because if we let you reap the rewards of involuntarily amputating your leg on TV during March Madness we’ll have to allow everybody who snaps their leg in half to receive gifts from strangers and that just can’t happen.  Not on our watch.

Yahoo – Giovanni Strassini had a pretty good deal going. He’d show up as a guest at functions for a Charlotte-based Ohio State fan group, he’d pose for pictures and sign autographs, and he’d talk about his exploits as an All-American tight end for the Buckeyes in the mid-1970s on Facebook.The only problem? Well, Ohio State has never heard of Giovanni Strassini.  Of course, that’s where the story gets weird.

Strassini (or whoever he is) saw his story start to unravel on a message board thread at BuckeyePlanet.com. The posters on that site easily figured out there was no Strassini who wore No. 89 for the Buckeyes. He wasn’t the third basemen for the baseball team in that era either, as he had also claimed. He definitely didn’t score an 8-yard touchdown in the 1976 Rose Bowl, one of the more easily verifiable facts to look up. The Buckeyes’ only touchdown that day was a 3-yard touchdown run by Pete Johnson.  The Rose Bowl ring Strassini posted on Facebook didn’t look exactly like the actual Rose Bowl ring from the season he claimed it was from. And he wasn’t drafted by the Cleveland Browns either, blowing up another one of his stories.  Yet somehow, Strassini pulled this scam off for at least a couple years before anyone noticed.

Absolutely 0% shame in this dude’s game, and I love it. Hey if you can get away with pretending to be a 1976 All American tight end for this long why not go for it?

From the Facebook page

To the Twitter account

To the framed bowling pin

The guy had it all going on.   Pretty genius too.   Just pick some random position from some random year and absolutely own the fuck out of it.  That’s what Giovanni did until he met the same fate that everyone seems to meet these days:  caught by the internet message boards.  Poor bastard.  Guy can’t even make a living doing public speaking engagements as a fake made-up football star from 4 decades ago anymore thanks to fucking Reddit and BuckeyePlanet.

Miami — More than 85,000 supporters since Friday have signed an Internet petition demanding felony sex charges be dropped against an 18-year-old lesbian who dated a 14-year-old high-school basketball teammate. Kaitlyn Hunt of Indian River County is charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 to 16 years old. If convicted, she would be sentenced from probation to 15 years in prison and registered as a sex offender. Hunt turned 18 on Aug. 14, 2012. She and a 14-year-old classmate, known as C.S., began dating in November. They first had consensual sex just before Christmas in a bathroom at Sebastian River High School. The relationship continued through February, according to an arrest affidavit.

“It’s outrageous that a law intended to stop adults from preying on children is being used to destroy a high school senior’s life,” said Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida, the state’s largest gay-rights group. “These are schoolmates, teammates. I suppose every school in Florida should start letting high school seniors know they can face 15 years in prison if they turn 18 before the school year is up.” In Florida, the legal age of sexual consent is 18. In 2007, the state adopted a “Romeo and Juliet” law that would keep 18 year olds from being registered as sex offenders if they had consensual sex with classmates age 15 or older. Hunt doesn’t qualify because her girlfriend was 14 at the time they had sex, Indian River State Attorney Bruce Colton said Monday.

You know what I’ve always wondered? How do you even know when lesbian porn is over? They usually just toss on some music and fade to black right? Pretty anti-climactic. If there’s not something flying out of something and hitting somebody in the face or vagina or back I’m not even sure it’s sex. Is that what we’re talking about here? A couple of chicks just dry humping each others’ legs until they maybe finished? Then they just toss on a jean jacket and talk about how women’s basketball is better than men’s from a fundamentals standpoint? I’m not saying I condone it, but I just assumed that’s how high school lesbians did their biz. No crime in that.

P.S. Am I getting the general public opinion on this whole thing right? Green means ok to bang/scissor. Red means go to jail you sick-o.

P.P.S. Cowboy hat = guy. Dress = girl. This isn’t a graph of cowgirls and lipstick lesbians. That’s an A+ film title though.

Kendra from MSU

Lauren from Rutgers 

1 for Kendra…5 for Lauren

(378 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)

 Loading ...

Childish Gambino has been on the hush for quite sometime, but today we get a new feature from everyone’s favorite actor turned rapper. Gambino hops on a 808 heavy beat from Roc Nation‘s DJ Reflex for a new club banger titled, “Body So Tight.” 

It’s officially official.  The Stool is heading to AC this summer and we’re throwing what could quite possibly be the biggest show we’ve ever done.  Not even exaggerating.  Huge space, AC in the summer.  Not so much a Blackout show as much as it is an event, an event that anyone in a 100 mile radius would be a flat out idiot to miss.  So mark it down on your calendars.  July 20th.  Atlantic City Convention Center.  Barstool Blackout.

Blackout:  Atlantic City  - July 20 – Atlantic City Convention Center – Tickets on Sale Friday At Noon

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE 

Beckett – Jack Hoffman’s story naturally went national. The 7-year-old fighting cancer scored a touchdown in the University of Nebraska’s spring game.  Anyone who watched the video from the game realized just how dusty it was in their room that day.  Upper Deck then created blow-up cards of Jack and one of the silver autographed cards (three are signed in silver and one in gold) was auctioned on eBay earlier this month for The Team Jack Foundation. The final bid came in at $6,100 – shattering anyone’s expectations and adding more excitement to a special story.

But unfortunately, there is no happy ending when it comes to this auction.

Too often there are stories of high-end ticket items that go unpaid – and that is true in this case as well.  Prep 2 Pro Sports owner Mike Schnoor, who is selling the cards on behalf of the Team Jack Foundation, has not received any money for the Hoffman card despite contacting the final bidder and the next couple of bidders on the list.  “It’s a pretty sore subject around here,” Schnoor told Beckett Media. “The guy who ended up winning said a guy logged into his account and bid on it as a joke. It goes from a great story to kind of sobering.”

Special place in hell for guys like this I’d imagine.  Bidding $6K for a kid with cancer’s charity then, oops, changed my mind.   I mean I get if you’re an asshole and are sick of these type of feel good stories and videos, but you can express that anonymously on comment sections around the internet.  Don’t need to place a bid for charity then pull it back with the old “my buddy did it as a joke on my account” routine.  Seriously what a hilarious prank!  I’m gonna log in to my friend’s eBay and bid a shit ton of money on a kid with cancer’s trading card!  He’ll be so surprised, lol.  Scumbag.  They should let Jack Hoffman hold this guy down and inject him with cancer.

Florida – A Miami man caught and killed the longest Burmese python ever captured in the state of Florida, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.  Jason Leon was driving late at night on May 11 in a rural area of southeast Miami-Dade County when he saw about 3 feet of a snake sticking out of the bushes. Having owned and handled Burmese pythons in the past, according to FWC, Leon pulled an 18-foot, 8-inch female from the roadside. The snake wrapped itself around Leon’s leg, and he called for assistance.

He used a knife to kill the snake.

“Jason Leon’s nighttime sighting and capture of a Burmese python of more than 18 feet in length is a notable accomplishment that set a Florida record. The FWC is grateful to him both for safely removing such a large Burmese python and for reporting its capture,” said Kristen Sommers, with FWC, in a release.
 

Florida!  Doing it so big like usual.  It’s no wonder everyone grows up dreaming of one day retiring to Florida to live out their days in peace.  I mean if there’s one thing writing at Barstool has taught me it’s that Florida is basically a modern day utopia.  Great people.  Low crime rate.  Only one 19 foot Burmese python slithering around eating people’s heads off their shoulders and swallowing their brains for breakfast, and actually now 0 of those thanks to Jason Leon.    Really can’t think of one downside of the Sunshine State.

In today’s edition of High School Handjobs, meet our next lucky winner, the dude who just successfully launched himself like 10 feet over the head of the catcher to score during state.   95 inch vertical to plate a run when it matters the most, girls warm those palms up.

PS – What’s up with speeding the camera up?  Were you trying to make him seem faster or something?  Bro he just successfully high jumped the catcher to score in the playoffs, I think that’s sufficiently impressive.