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Tech Bro CEO Bids $12K To Coach ASU Football Team

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Ftech-bro-ceo-bids-12k-to-coach-asu-football-team%2F
Apr 163:10PM EST

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Arkansas - The prospect of being a head football coach has always been something of a dream for 25-year-old tech CEO Nick Bhardwaj. So when a recent visit to ESPN.com to check scores revealed a story about a unique fundraiser at Arkansas State University in which the school was auctioning off an opportunity to coach its football team during the spring game, Bhardwaj quickly jumped at the opportunity. When the week-long eBay auction closed Monday, Bhardwaj’s $11,700 bid was the highest.

“It’s something I probably never thought I’d get to experience in my life,” Bhardwaj said by phone Tuesday, a day before he was expecting to depart the San Francisco area where he lives and works for Jonesboro. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand it’s a spring game. But it should pretty much feel as real as possible, I’m hoping.”

The auction, which raised money for the Red Wolves Foundation, promised the winner to be head coach for the game, wearing a headset on the sideline, choosing what plays to call and even getting a “Powerade bath” on the sidelines when the game ends.

The coach could make all sorts of questionable football calls, like going for it on every fourth down or calling trick plays with regularity. But, Bhardwaj said, he takes the responsibility seriously. He’s already “done his homework,” researching ASU Coach Blake Anderson’s coaching style, looking at tape of other high-speed offenses, reviewing the roster and even spending time calling plays virtually in the NCAA 2014 video game.

“For me, I want to hit the ground running,” Bhardwaj said. “I’m not that guy who’s going to call a flea-flicker every three plays. I want to immerse myself so it feels like a real coaching experience.”

That means paying attention to less glitzy coaching duties like ensuring the right ratio of pass plays to run plays are called as the game progresses, Bhardwaj said.

“The one thing I don’t take lightly is this is still a meaningful game to the coaching staff,” he said. “They’re trying to see where the players are at.”

Natural Motion this year was bought by Zynga for more than $500 million. Bhardwaj left to focus on his own mobile gaming startup, Beyond Games, but he’s happy to take a break for a few days to try a different career path.

 

 

 

First of all this is absolutely awesome.  Getting to coach a college football team and actually having control and getting to call plays and shit based off of what you learned in NCAA 2014.   Totally worth the $12K.  My only thing is why settle for a Spring Game at Arkansas State?  Why some meaningless game for a meaningless program?    Just because they’re the ones having an eBay bid for a head coaching job?  Doesn’t mean you need to take that and be happy.  Don’t lower your standards like that dude.  Your company just got bought out for $527 MILLION!   Pony up some more of that cash and get yourself a job wearing the headsets on the sideline of an Alabama regular season game.  I want to see you calling a goal line play for LSU in Death Valley.  I want to see you running down the sidelines next to Red Lightning as Jameis Winston executes your touchdown play to perfect.  Now THAT would be amazing.   Some random bro with an NCAA 2014 on Xbox playbook determining the national championship game.  Money rules everything my man, make it happen.

 

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell, The U Edition: Harley vs. Claire

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fsmokesmash-matchup-from-hell-the-u-edition-harley-vs-claire%2F
Apr 162:20PM EST

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And I didn’t go to Miami….why?

 

 

 

Harley

 

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Claire

 

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1 for Harley…5 for Claire.

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (275 votes, average: 2.36 out of 5)
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Panama City Beach Trying To Ban Spring Break…HAHA

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fpanama-city-beach-trying-to-ban-spring-break-haha%2F
Apr 161:40PM EST

 

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AL - Locals who are fed up with the wild behavior often found in Panama City Beach during spring break continue to press the issue with local officials, and it appears they’re not going to let the issue slide.

Spring break was not on the agenda for Tuesday’s Bay County Commission meeting, but a group of fed-up residents showed up to discuss it anyway, according to a report in the Panama City News Herald. Last week, big crowds of locals turned out to voice their concerns about spring break at a the Tourist Development Council meeting and Panama City Beach City Council meeting.

Forced to actually address the issue, Bay County Commissioner Mike Thomas said “We have to make some changes,” adding “alcohol on the beach during spring break, I think, will be changed.”

Fellow Commissioner Bill Dozier said he agreed with most of the recommendations put forth by Sheriff Frank McKeithen, which included a ban of drinking on the beach, forcing bars to stop serving alcohol at 2 a.m. and other measures.

“There will be action taken,” Dozier said, according to the News Herald. “We’re not going to sweep this under the rug.”

Bill Buskell, owner of the popular Pineapple Willy’s bar and restaurant, was again at the lead of local residents demanding something be done. Buskell reportedly told the commission that he supported blocking alcohol from the beaches even if it cost him $150,000 in daiquiri sales. He says he doesn’t want Panama City Beach to become the “Tijuana of the South.”

 

 

 

Hey PCB.  ”Good luck.” (-Marko from Tropoja).  Trying to ban Spring Break in Panama City Beach.  Like trying to ban apple pie in America.  Like trying to ban water from being wet.   Some things are just meant to be.

Seriously what’s the deal with Bill from Pineapple Willy’s?  Bro you opened a bar in Panama City Beach.  What the fuck were you expecting exactly?  You don’t want the place your bar is located to become the Tijuana of the South?   You’d rather sacrifice $150K in sales than have kids drinking on Spring Break?  WORST BAR OWNER EVER.  Honestly bro Taffer would shut your shit down and walk out on you in the first 10 minutes of the show.

Bottom line is you can raise all the stink and make all the scary Spring Break exposé videos you want, a good old fashioned completely trashy Spring Break experience in PCB ain’t going out without a fight.  Cue the music!

 

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Richmond (baller name)

Noah Gets In To College

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fnoah-gets-in-to-college%2F
Apr 161:00PM EST

 

LITTLE CHUTE, Wis. (KMSP) - “I got accepted! Yes! Dad, you rock! I love you!” Those were the words of Little Chute. Wis. high school senior Noah VanVooren, after learning he was accepted to Edgewood College in Madison, Wis.

 

 

 

Fuck yeah Noah.   Such a frat boy move just ripping your shirt off and flexing too.  Noah is gonna fit in just fine.

 

 

 

 

PS – If Edgewood football doesn’t stick Noah in starting tailback spot immediately their coach has 0 clue what he’s doing.

 

 

 

Sango x Goldlink – Wassup

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fsango-x-goldlink-wassup%2F
Apr 1612:20PM EST

 

Dirty beat, dirty bars, just all around filth. You’re gonna be hearing about Goldlink, a lot.

 

Reader Email – The Dean of Students at Bucknell Sent Everyone Pterodactyl Porn Last Night

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Freader-email-the-dean-of-students-at-bucknell-sent-everyone-pterodactyl-porn-last-night%2F
Apr 1611:40AM EST

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———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Susan Lantz
Date: Tue, Apr 15, 2014 at 10:14 PM
Subject: [STUDENTS] BSG Constitution Results
To: students@bucknell.edu

Dear Bucknell Students,

On behalf of BSG, attached are the results of vote on the new BSG
constitution. We would like to offer our sincerest apologies on the
the way the proposal was handled. We realized the folly in neglecting
student input; therefore, we are opening an online discussion forum
for all students. Please use the attached link where you may submit
your opinions.

We value your input and hold it in the highest regard. Access the
forum here: http://bit.ly/P4g5TC  (NSFW)

Best,
Susan Lant

 

 

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Either Bucknell has an experienced hacker running rampant on campus, or their Dean of Students watches some REALLY weird pornography.  I like to think it’s the latter.   Just picturing some high up member of the Bucknell administration posted up in her office surrounded by leather bound books with her feet up on her mahogany desk just watching some prehistoric birds double team the shit out of some blonde chick.  Sending out important student information for the upcoming week then switching back to her Incognito tab of a girl getting railed by a flying reptile from the Jurassic Period.   That’s what I choose to believe is happening at Bucknell.  Forget some pimply faced computer geek, give me a super freaky Dean who is into Pterodactyl Dinosaur Spermo Plasmoids and sucks at bit.ly’ing things.

 

 

 

PS – How about the 80.34% “Like” rate on that video?

 

 

 

 

 

Introducing Johnny Football’s Rangers Game Side Piece

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fintroducing-johnny-footballs-rangers-game-side-piece%2F
Apr 1610:51AM EST

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Introducing Kyndal Kyaire.   By all accounts in our email inbox, JFF’s newest side piece.

 

Sitting front row cuddling with a Maxim Hometown Hottie who is a hard 14 out of 10.  Not a bad life.

 

 

 

 

 

-Thanks Carson

Johnny Manziel At The Rangers Game With An Absolute Dime Piece

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fwas-johnny-football-at-the-rangers-game-last-night%2F
Apr 1610:15AM EST

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Was Johnny Football at the Rangers game last night?  Didn’t notice.  HOLY SHIT.  Send out the fucking smoke patrol immediately.  Fucking Johnny!  Did Football do it again or what!

 

 

 

 

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Jared Lorenzen Had The Best Response To The NCAA’s Free Snacks Rule

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fjared-lorenzen-had-the-best-response-to-the-ncaas-free-snacks-rule%2F
Apr 169:30AM EST

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Jared Lorenzen.  Love this guy.   Beast QB.  Die hard Stoolie.  Absolute tank that the NCAA is lucky they don’t have to give free snacks.  You think they have a lot of cash now?  Just wait and see how fast your bank accounts drain trying to provide J-Lo with enough food to keep him happy on a daily basis.

 

Anyway in case you missed the after-hours post yesterday this is the hot topic regarding the NCAA right now.  Finally caving and deciding to use their billions of dollars to provide larger stipends for student-athletes and give them insurance coverage for their post-playing career and help them with flights home, hardship money and medical bills.  Oh wait no they just said they can have free food to eat when they’re hungry.  Got a little ahead of myself there.  Let’s not get too crazy.

 

 


 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Nikki from STA College

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-smokeshow-of-the-day-nikki-from-sta-college%2F
Apr 169:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Nikki from St Thomas Aquinas College.  Think I can say with confidence this is their first smokeshow? And also that I don’t know where it is?  Safe to say they’ve put themselves on the map with Nikki.