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Introducing Giraffe Boy

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Aug 2712:40PM EST

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Daily Mail - A 15-year-old boy is to undergo surgery on his exceptionally long neck, which causes him agonising pain.

Fu Wengui, who lives in Beijing, China, suffers from a number of conditions. While the standard number of verbetrae in the neck is 7, Fu has 10, his father Fu Genyou claims. These vertebrae press on the nerves in his neck and make it difficult for him to walk,’ said the 50-year-old.

‘He always causes a stir whenever he goes out.’

 

 

 

Poor fucking kid.  Being a teenager is bad enough having to put up with all the shit from everyone else in school.  Have one little thing wrong with you and it’s all anybody will talk about just dumping on you constantly.  Scoliosis kid, pimple kid, dumb kid, smelly kid, poor kid.  Imagine being fucking Giraffe Boy?  The dude with a 3 foot long neck and a head way up in the clouds?  Brutal.  Bully ammo like you read about.

Lincoln Jesser – Untold

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Aug 2712:00PM EST

Indie stud Lincoln Jesser drops off his latest single, more of the upbeat, synth heavy, ethereal pop that’s got the LA based artist poised to pop the fuck off.  Look out for Lincoln’s debut EP, Modern Colors, due out on September 23.

While you wait for the EP (which you should because it’s fire top to bottom), you can stream all of the available tracks here.

Girl Strips and Runs Through Amsterdam Butt Naked For Free Tuition

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Aug 2711:20AM EST

 

Mirror - A bold young student has proved the lengths she will go to to help finance her studies.

In a video posted to You Tube by the Super Student site, a willing young lady named Sabine is only too keen to display all that nature gave her in front of hundreds of stunned tourists.

During the clip the young, blond student is interviewed dressed only in a long blue shirt. She then peels off to reveal all before sprinting round the busy Amsterdam square, causing bemusement to all going about their business. She streaks over tram-lines and narrowly dodges a motorbike before returning to her two interviewers and covering her modesty.

The footage ends with her doing the ice bucket challenge.

 

 

 

I think the first thing everybody thinks with stuff like this is oh my god I’ll just flat out kill myself immediately if I have a daughter.  But if you think about it…this is kind of awesome for you?  I mean yeah your little girl apparently grew into somewhat of a slut willing to run through a crowded city butt ass naked with her boobs flopping around smiling and laughing about it.  And now everyone on the internet is staring at her naked because some blogger made a GIF of it.

 

 

 

 

But at the same time she just saved you like thousands upon thousands of dollars?   Cut down on your massive tuition bills and freed up some cap space in the family finances for a vacation or a boat or something?  That’s kind of a huge positive.  I mean once they’re grown up and out of the house they can do whatever they want I guess so long as I don’t have to keep cutting them fucking checks out of my retirement.  And hey she finished off with the #ALSIceBucketChallenge so at least she’s charitable.

 

 

 

 

 

PS – I am 99% sure this video is actually the intro to an incredible porno but I haven’t tracked down any facts to support that yet.

 

WVU QB Clint Trickett Says His First Kiss Was With Nick Saban’s Daughter

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Aug 2710:45AM EST

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My palms literally got sweaty reading that quote from Clint Trickett.   Blood pressure rising, heart beating rapidly, shallow breaths, all the bodily responses you get when you’re about to witness a real live murder.  Just hope Saban treats the body with some respect on Saturday, the family deserves a proper funeral to say goodbye.

 

But regardless I’d be lying if I said I didn’t respect the shit out of this move from Trickett.  Like the down south redneck college football version of Hit Em Up, where instead of Pac talking about fucking Biggie’s wife, it’s a West Virginia pretty boy QB telling Nick Saban he french kissed his daughter by the tire swing on the playground.  Saturday should be interesting to say the least…

 

 

 

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‘Sopranos’ Creator Finally Answers Whether Tony Soprano Died At The End Or Not

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Aug 2710:00AM EST

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VOX – Instead of giving Tony a final scene in which he is either killed or arrested — the two possible fates Tony and his fans had imagined for him — the last episode ends unexpectedly during a domestic scene with an ominous tinge. Tony, his wife, and his son, are waiting for his daughter, Meadow, to join them for dinner at a popular restaurant, while a number of suspicious characters mill around. Outside, Meadow burns rubber trying to get into a parking space and then runs across a street against the light as cars whiz by her. Inside, Tony raises his head, and — CUT TO BLACK. Millions of television sets across America went dark and silent suddenly. Is my television broken? we wondered, each in our individual homes. At THIS moment? Then the credits rolled, and all hell really broke loose. Are you kidding me? This is the end?

I had been talking with ['Sopranos' creator David] Chase for a few years when I finally asked him whether Tony was dead or alive. We were in a tiny coffee shop, when, in the middle of a low-key chat about a writing problem I was having, I popped the question. Chase startled me by turning toward me and saying with sudden, explosive anger, “Why are we talking about this?” I answered, “I’m just curious.” And then, for whatever reason, he told me.

On occasion he breaks his reserve, but makes it clear that I am not to write about anything he says that is an interpretation of his own work, since he believes that the art of entertaining is leaving the audience imagination to run wild. So when he spoke about Tony and the question, he was laconic.

Just the fact and no interpretation. He shook his head “no.” And he said simply, “No he isn’t.”

I’m not guessing. When I asked Chase about the cut to black, he said that it is about Poe’s poem “Dream Within a Dream.” “What more can I say?” he asks when I prod him to speak more, and I admire his silence. I am his audience too and he wants me to reach for his meaning. And here’s what I conclude. Though you wouldn’t know it from watching Hollywood movies, endings are by nature mysterious.

 

 

Seven years. Millions of tweets and blog posts and even some 50,000 word essays breaking down every piece of the show to decipher what happened to Tony Soprano and THIS is how you find out that everything that seemed to make sense about the ending makes no sense at all. Nevermind the several scenes of preamble in the final season seemingly designed to foreshadow the last moment of the show, the concept of death being represented by a dull roar and a cut to black or the fact that Chase himself said several times in post-Sopranos interviews that “all the clues are there” and was baffled that people didn’t get it. All that is now relatively meaningless, all because some lady named Martha somehow got him to drop the truth over a scone and some shitty diner coffee.

 

 

In a way, it’s somewhat reassuring to know that somewhere, Tony Soprano is out there even though the genius actor who played him isn’t. It’s a fictional world and one of the rare cultural artifacts we’re unlikely to ever see rebooted or recreated given the players involved and the show’s place in the pantheon of television. The full article on Chase is interesting and worth a read but, still, to find out like this, years later, dismissively, seemingly at random on a Wednesday before the final weekend of the Summer…

 

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Chick At The Astros Game Throws A Worst First Pitch For The Ages

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Aug 279:30AM EST

 

 

 

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Don’t know what it is about 2014 but it’s officially the year of the disaster first pitch.  I mean every week we’ve got a new contender not just for worst of the year, but worst of all time.  50 Cent, Miss Texas, this chick at the Astros game, seems like every few days somebody is spiking the ball into the ground farther and farther away from the plate.    Does nobody have any self awareness?  Like even an ounce of being able to judge their own abilities?  Just seems like you have to some sort of idea in your head that you can’t come anywhere close to throwing a baseball 40-60 feet when you agree to head out there and do it in front of thousands of people live and millions of people on the internet.

 

Won’t name this one the worst of all time though, still contend that the 50 Cent, John Wall, Carl Lewis were all worse.  Don’t care how hot equality is in the streets, a grown man not being able to throw a baseball is as humiliating and emasculating as it gets.

 

 

 

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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Anna from Texas A&M

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Aug 279:00AM EST

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Introducing Anna from Texas A&M.  Think she might have been a smoke already back in the day.  Kind of a no brainer for a new updated gallery.

 

 

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New Music From Porter Robinson, Alt-J, RAC, The Knocks + More

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Aug 268:30PM EST

BoobiesMile4

Boobie’s been on hiatus for a minute, but today marks the triumphant return of the freshest indie music feature on the net.

Click here to stream Boobie’s Mile: Welcome Back Edition

Septermber 12th The Barstool Blackout Returns To Providence To Take Over Lupos!!!

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Aug 267:50PM EST

How are we going to take over Lupos? Dante the Don, our blackout DJ is going to turn Lupos into the craziest night of your life.

 

 

 

Tickets

 

So if you don’t know by Dante by now, he’s our Blackout DJ and on top of that he just opened for Miley Cyrus. Miley Fucking Cyrus. Thats huge; compared to that the Blackout is going to look small and be even crazier than you would have imagined. September 12, Lupos Heartbreak Hotel, Barstool Blackout, tickets on sale now!!!!!!!!! Providence, get ready to BLACKOUT!

 

Buy Tickets Here

 

Facebook Event Page

 

BarstoolBlackout_page

 

Barstool CFB Preview Series: Ole Miss and LSU

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Aug 267:30PM EST

Ole Miss

What To Watch For This Season:

After hiring offensive guru and whizkid coach Hugh Freeze (yes, that Hugh Freeze, the coach from The Blind Side), the Ole Miss program can only be described as on the up-and-up. Stellar recruiting classes, including the famous breakout recruiting class of 2013, have translated into on-field talent in a way that even the most homer of Rebel fans could have dreamed of. Robert Nkemdiche? Stud. Laremy Tunsil? Stud. Laquon Treadwell? Stud. And the 2016 recruiting class looks like it can be just as good. For a fanbase that has served as a whipping boy the rest of the SEC since Eli Manning graduated, expectations creep higher and higher by the day, and hope for the future is at an all-time high. If Freeze can deliver on some of his promise as an offensive genius a la Guz Malzhan, no program has more to be excited about than Ole Miss does, and that is a fact.

Over/Under:

Set at 8. Hammer the over. Hammer it. Ole Miss was 8-5 last year for chrissakes, and if this year’s Rebel team hopped in a time machine and played last year’s, I guarantee the point spread would be at least -7.5. Boise State won’t be ready for them on Thursday playing at Oxford and under a new coach, and Ole Miss will have a winning record in the SEC this year. As a matter of fact, here’s the boldest preseason prediction I have made yet or will make: Ole Miss is going to beat Alabama week 5, lose 1-2 games this season, and be a serious contender to make the 4-team playoff by the end of the season. Before you laugh in my face, just remember, this squad has as many blue chip players as ANYONE in the SEC, 9 returning starters on defense, and an extremely capable quarterback in Bo Wallace. FURTHERMORE, most of the critical departures from Oxford have been at the offensive skill positions, usually the easiest positions to replace. Alabama has issues facing innovated offenses the first time they see them (Kliff Kingsbury’s Texas A&M, Malzahn’s Auburn). I say Hugh Freeze throws the fucking kitchen sink at them. Trick plays, hurry-up offenses in the first quarter, formations we haven’t seen him run since his days at Arkansas State. The Grove will be rocking, and people start seeing Ole Miss as a legitimate force to be reckoned with for years to come. I’m sure most of you think I’m crazy and have no idea what I’m talking about now, but I have put a TON of thought into this.

LSU

What To Watch For:

LSU is at the bottom of returning starters in the SEC, as usual. They have to replace about 85% of their total offensive production. Losses at wide receiver and running back mean basically the entire skill position corps will have to be replaced, and the loss of Zach Mettenberger at quarterback means uncertainty at the position that will probably persist throughout the year. Don’t worry if you’re a Tigers fan though (you know, for that huge fanbase BarstoolU has in Louisiana), LSU is going to be just fine. Teams of LSU’s caliber reload rather than rebuild, and the depth of the Tigers (probably the second-best, only eclipsed by Alabama), means plenty of the fresh legs will already be prepared to be productive. Also, incoming running back Leonard Fournette has already drawn comparisons to Adrian Peterson and some already have him projected to be the best running back in the SEC his freshman year (that same conference with Todd Gurley and Alabama’s historically dominant running game). Now watch this video and start drooling.

Over/Under:

Set at 9. In Les Miles 9 seasons at LSU, they have only been under 10 wins twice, and that was half-a-decade ago. Doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that. Their two hardest games (on paper right now at least), are both at home (Alabama and Ole Miss). The Wisconsin game this weekend is looking to be the best game of Week 1, and the teams in many ways are mirror images of each other (supremely talented running back, replaces to be made in the front 7, uncertainty at quarterback). The difference is that one team has SEC speed and one doesn’t. I give the Tigers about a 60-70% chance of winning that game (even though analyst Phil Steele says he gives UW a 50/50 shot at having it). I was more confident in the Badgers ability to win a few weeks ago, but the closer and closer to game-time it gets and the more and more I see from Leonard Fournette, the less and less good I feel about it. Hope I’m wrong!

Follow me on twitter @CharlieWisco