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Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Dani from Arizona vs. Karin from Coastal Carolina

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Apr 232:30PM EST

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Dani from Arizona

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Karin from Coastal 

 

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1 for Dani…5 for Karin

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (127 votes, average: 2.28 out of 5)
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This Instagram Video Is The First Funny Thing Jameis Has Ever Done

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Apr 232:00PM EST

 

jaboowins5 – 38 minutes ago -We too deep this q in the wheelchair real #squad

 

 

Ooooo, kill em!

 

 

 

 

Oh and for the record everybody knows I love Jameis.  Dude is just not funny at all.  Kind of like a Shaq.  Phenomenal athlete.  Successful.  Electrifying on the field/court.  Lame as fuck off of it.  I think even FSU people agree with that right?

Boobie’s Mile: RAC Edition

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Apr 231:15PM EST

BoobiesMile4

This week’s Boobie features a special takeover from a true legend of indiepop, the man, the myth, the RAC.

Stream Boobie’s Mile: RAC Edition

Belle Knox Had Her Life Ruined When She Was Exposed For Doing Porn…Oh Look A Feature In Rolling Stone

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Apr 2312:30PM EST

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The Blue Devil in Miss Belle Knox: Meet Duke Porn Star Miriam Weeks

It’s a soggy spring night, closing in on 10:00, and Duke freshman Miriam Weeks is on the hunt for new panties. Which in someone’s fantasy is probably a pretty standard way for a college coed to pass a Wednesday night after a day of classes – in Weeks’ case, two sociology courses and a women’s-studies seminar on the “politics of pleasure.” But these panties have a higher calling. Two days from now, at a convention called Exxxotica, in Atlantic City, she will try to sell them for upward of $50 apiece to the men (and women!) who find themselves sexually aroused by any of the 30 to 35 pornographic film scenes in which Weeks has appeared since she entered the adult-entertainment industry in November.

So Weeks needs panties. “Cheap panties,” she says wearily, gazing with big brown doe eyes out the car window as Duke’s hallowed halls give way to Durham’s less-hallowed strip malls. “Do you think the Dollar Store would have them?”

It’s been only a matter of weeks since news broke that a freshman at Duke University was paying her way through college by getting frisky on film, and Weeks’ hornier alter ego, Belle Knox (“Belle” from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast and “Knox” because of her fascination with Amanda Knox: “I tried to find a name that wouldn’t really stick in people’s minds”), became a matter of national debate. It wasn’t the first time a college woman had ever done porn, of course, but America’s collective consciousness seemed both scandalized and titillated by the idea of a woman from as prestigious a school as Duke choosing to do so. On the one hand, said some, why shouldn’t a consenting adult engage in a perfectly legal profession in order to better herself through higher learning? And what right does society have to tell women what to do or not do with their bodies, anyway? But, on the other hand, you know, WTF?

In the ensuing media frenzy, Dr. Drew told Weeks that if he were her father, he would “be chompin’ down on a cyanide capsule.” Piers Morgan asked Weeks how she would feel if she had a daughter who wanted to be a porn star. On The View, Sherri Shepherd said that in direct response to Weeks’ decisions, “My heart just breaks. It really, really does.” Meanwhile, Howard Stern asked, “Are you wearing underwear or no?” Weeks, a women’s-studies and sociology major, did not shrink back from her public slut-shaming. Instead, giggling like the teenager she happens to be, she came forward as both a feminist and a “voice” for women in the porn industry.

All of which is to say that it’s been a topsy-turvy kind of freshman year for Ms. Miriam Weeks, the type of freshman year that’s brought such fame and infamy that she can, and will, sell her panties to the highest bidder. A traffic light turns green and onward she goes.

 

 

 

Belle Knox demands to be anonymous.  She deserves to be anonymous.  She’s just trying to afford tuition.  You have no right to know who she is or anything about her.  Don’t even THINK about using her real name on your website or she will sue you to hell.  All she wants to do is feel empowered and express her femininity.  Now excuse her while she sells her panties for 50 bucks a pop at a monster porn convention then has Rolling Stone Magazine do a feature about it with her full color picture and real name while wearing a Duke shirt.

 

Love porn stars.  Love confident women.  HATE hypocrites.

 

 

 

 

PS – I’ll tell you what.  I don’t respect a single thing about Belle Knox EXCEPT for the fact that she eats a tupperware full of mashed potatoes for breakfast.

When I first meet Weeks, the day before, she wears a rumpled navy jacket and glasses, and carries in one hand a breakfast of mashed potatoes and in the other a pink backpack.

 

That is just an unbelievable power breakfast move.

Kentucky Wesleyan College Professor Says Women Are Not Safe On Campus After Fraternity Does Sexual Dance During Greek Week Event

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Apr 2311:50AM EST

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OWENSBORO, KY (WFIE) - A Kentucky Wesleyan College professor wants students to take part in a campus-wide discussion Tuesday night after becoming involved in an incident on campus that she says turned sexual. 14 News was sent a copy of a letter, said to be written by Dr. Meredith Minister, the college’s assistant professor of Religion. In it she details an incident that took place while she was judging an event during Greek Week.

The professor wrote one of the students seen in the video placed his knees on the table where the professor was sitting and made a movement that put his genitals directly in front of her face. The student, she wrote, then grabbed her wrist, rubbing her hand through his hair.

She went on to write that if a 30-year-old faculty member was literally man-handled, what is happening to 20-year-old students without the same level of authority?

At one point she wrote — bluntly — I am concerned that women are not safe on this campus.

14 News spoke to the student in question.  He calls the incident “harmless.”

The professor is now calling on the administration to establish a Women’s Center and a Gender Studies Department.

She has also organized a campus-wide discussion set for Tuesday at 9pm at Rogers Hall on campus.

 

 

 

Couldn’t agree more.  If a student who is trying to be funny and put on a light-hearted show during a Greek Week event where they are dancing around like idiots thrusts his hips and rubs a judge’s hand through his hair, can you imagine how many girls he is raping in his free time?   Scary thought. Probably literally every girl.  I mean here you are voluntarily judging a fraternity doing a stupid dance during a fun event when all of a sudden one of the young men just takes you by the hand and touches his head with it?    How is a campus even remotely safe after that?  The answer is it isn’t.   Surprised anyone can even make it to class without being sexually violated.  It’s an epidemic and Kentucky Wesleyan is apparently ground zero.

Doctors Warn About New Drug Trend “Beezin’” Where You Rub Burt’s Bees Chapstick On Your Eyeballs

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Apr 2311:00AM EST

 

LOCAL 15 - Doctors are alerting parents of a new trend called ‘beezin.’ It involves a popular lip balm called Burt’s Bees. Health experts say it’s a growing trend and involves high schoolers and college students putting it on their eyelids.

Those who are into it say it has the effects of feeling drunk or high. Others say it helps keep them alert. Doctors say the peppermint oil in the lip balm causes the tingling or burning sensation, but they warn it could cause pink eye like symptoms. “The peppermint oil in the lip balm is a very strong irritant and can cause inflammation in the eye, redness of the eye, swelling,” said Dr. Brett Cauthen with Today Clinic in Boston. Burt’s Bees products are 100 percent natural, but doctors say putting anything not intended for your eyes on that area can be risky.

 

 

Fucking kids these days bro.  I’m 26 and already feel like an old “get off my lawn” man with this shit.  Burt’s Bees on your eyelids?  That’s where we’re at now?  Peppermint chapstick in your retinas?  Hey teenagers you know what else gives you the feeling of being drunk and high?  Getting drunk and high.  Pounding shitty beer and smoking shitty weed out of a shitty pipe in the bulkhead of somebody’s basement while their parents are asleep.  Seriously I get that times change but some things stay good forever, and pouring your dad’s vodka into a water bottle or waiting outside a liquor store to offer some sketchy bro a 150% markup to buy you a 30 rack to get fucked up is still way more fun than rubbing menthol chapstick on your eyeballs.  Trust me.

 

 

Anyway I searched around for some Youtube clips and there’s a bunch from like last year, leave it to the mainstream news to be late as hell on the drug trends.

 

 

 

 

PS – Why do I get the feeling that there are  like 500 of our new high school stoolies currently Beezin as they read this.

 

 

 

h/t Joe from UDel

Iggy Azalea Wears Two Pairs Of Underwear And Stopped Crowdsurfing During Concerts Because Everyone Kept FIngering Her

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Apr 2310:15AM EST

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XXL - Iggy Azalea who has become a darling of the high fashion world, still finds herself guarding against ratchetness to the highest level. During her talk to promote her debut album which comes out today on the Hot 97 Morning Show, The Australian MC, revealed that she has to take precautions to stop fans who want to throw their hands somewhere other than the air when she crowd-surfs at shows.

“I had to stop (crowdsurfing)…People try to finger me,” she explained. Azalea went on to talk about how she wears two pairs of underpants and tights under her pants to ward off the intruders.

Rightfully so she draws the line. “Buying my album for $12 doesn’t mean you get to finger me when I come to your city. It’s weird.”

I will get lurk tweets for like a week before my show, like “I’m about to go to the Iggy Azalea show and I’m going to finger her,” and I’ll see it and be like, please don’t! That’s a violation. I don’t actually like that stuff.

Like, they think I’m real slutty, like “Oh, she got a song called ‘Pussy,’ I know what she wants. She wants these two fingers.” Why would I want a stranger to ever finger me? Buying my album for $12 doesn’t mean you get to finger me when I come to your city.

“Girls will try to do it more than guys ’cause girls think it’s cool, like, ‘We both got vaginas, it’s fine.’ Doesn’t make it okay.

 

 

 

And people think the life of a hot chick is so easy.  Tell that to the one triple bagging her pants while she raps her songs because everyone in the place is trying to forcibly finger her.  Trying to hype the crowd up by crowdsurfing and put on a show and she ends up with 1,000 fingers inside of her.  Violation city.  Buying an album on iTunes for 12 bucks doesn’t mean you get 3rd base bro.  Booby touch tops, but definitely not below the waist stuff.

 

 

PS – Doing my research for this story this exchange from a wardrobe malfunction made me laugh.  Lol that’s my ass from the front not my pussy!

 

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Sorority Chick’s “Senior Sendoff Letter” Goes Viral

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Apr 239:30AM EST

 

Sorority Move

 

My younger sloots of [sorority redacted],

It’s me, your favorite ghost senior of the sorority. Yeah, you little bitches probably don’t even know who I am because I’m the one who doesn’t show up to shit because its pointless and when I do, I sneak out like two hours in when important people aren’t looking. Learn from my way little ones, cheating the system is how you get through life. Now, even though the majority of you bitchez don’t know who I am, you really should have gotten to know me though, I would have made your year fucking awesome. Ask [name redacted] and [name redacted], they may have some choice words and stories to tell about me.

Alright, so me being a senior, not even knowing how the fuck I made it this far in life without killing myself because I am a dumb fuck, I was told by our officers who think they rule the fucking world to leave a senior will….so I’m going to be so blunt and truthful with you sloots you will learn everything you need to know about college right here in this letter…

1. Have sex.
Have sex with as many boys as you can. Well, not exactly, check out their penis first. Dick pics are God’s gift to women. Make sure you inspect the goods before you let it penetrate you vagina. Having sex is awesome. The best thing you can do for your sex life is to learn to love sucking dick. It is one of my favorite pastimes. I could suck dick for like 7 minutes, anything after that is too long. You should have definitely made your man bust his load all in your mouth in 7 minutes. If you can’t achieve that, sorry sweetheart but you have better chances at becoming a lesbo than getting dick.

2. Swallow that load
If you are one of those “classy” ladies who don’t swallow. Go crawl into a hole with Ellen DeGeneres and learn to eat pussy, because that is what you are. Spitting is for quitters, you swallow that sweet ‘n’ salty mix like the real woman you are. Your man for the night will forever tell his bro’s about you dick sucking abilities. Oh, if you haven’t noticed by now, I love sucking dick. I crowned myself the dick sucking queen and no one is ever taking that title from me, so back the fuck off.

3. Blackout or Back the Fuck Out
If you are getting ready to hit the square or frats with your sisters you better have already been pounding some liquor by 7pm. No one ever enjoys a sober sally, she judges the fuck out of you and even though I judge everyone who is within 4 feet of me, no one can judge me. I live my life by a double standard (see number 4). It is a really great feeling to wake up hopefully in your bed, and look to your side with a confused look asking yourself “did I have sex with him?”. It has happened to me countless times, but luckily I always find my used condoms on the floor of my room so I sorta know when I have had sex. I bring home classy dudes. On several occasions, I have brought home someone from the bar and tried to introduce him to my roommates/friends and forgotten his name. Always have the upper hand, you don’t need to know his name to hop on his tic tac.

4. Live your life by a double standard
You are queen of the fucking world. You can do no wrong. You’re the only one who can fuck random’s every weekend and not be judged. You’re the shit and no one can tell you any different. You can yell at your slut roommate and tell her that her bedroom is a revolving door even though you hooked up with two different guys in two days, it could have been three but who is counting anymore? Excuses are your new best friend, not that fake fucking Yurman your sleazy ex got you because he was a two pump chump. You better start having excuses memorized like the 6-carat princess cut engagement ring your rich as fuck future boyfriend better get you in a few years you have memorized. I live my life by the absolute biggest double standard and it has gotten me so far, you young sloots better start doing the same. We need someone good to be the next A of [sorority redacted].

So, you fucking lucky little bitches have a few more years to run out mommys credit card, while crying to daddy that you have no money in your account so he slips you some cash for booze and weed. Spend that cash you don’t have on illegal drugs unless you’re one of the blessed who is already so fucked up you stumbled upon prescription drugs. If that’s the case, hit me up ;). Remember, wrap it before you tap it, no one wants the herps, and if you can, always be slightly drunk. Life will be so much better.

 

 

 

Annnd I’m hard.  Listen do I think this is legit and actually got circulated around a sorority?  Most likely not.  Do I think this chick wrote this and sent it in to websites to try and be the next Cunt Punt chick?  Most likely.   Doesn’t change the fact that I’m turned on as fuck and think this is an incredible outline for college girls all across America.   I mean this is just flat out poetic stuff in here that frankly needed to be said.   Learn to love sucking dick.  Take loads all up in your mouth.   Don’t swallow?  Crawl in a hole with Ellen Degeneres and learn to eat pussy.  That’s what I always say.  Be a dick sucking queen.  Get wasted constantly and fuck.  Fuck as many guys as possible then get a rich as fuck boyfriend.   That’s legitimate life advice right there.  So like I said if this sorority senior sendoff letter isn’t as real as it seems it doesn’t matter, still something to read up and take notes on.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Katherine from Arizona

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Apr 239:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Katherine from Arizona.  No matter how many schools make their way into Smokeshow of the Day, Arizona will always be right up there at the top of the list.

New EDM From Tiesto, Martin Garrix, Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike

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Apr 229:00PM EST

Tonight we’ve got two new house songs, different in every possible way except that they’re both fucking amazing. On the easier listening side, Tiesto and Matthew Koma hit us with the drunk kid anthem of the century, an uplifting, melodic banger that you’re not going to be able to avoid this summer.  On the more ratchet side of things, Garrix, Dimitri Vegas and Like Mike smash us over the head with a monstrous progressive instrumental that’s sure to be played out by a parade of festival DJ’s over the next 5 months.

If you’re looking to stream more electronic goodness, browse our EDM playlist section.