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Barstool U Friday Smokeshow – Charisse from WVU

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Apr 185:15PM EST

 

 

Introducing Charisse from WVU.  Also known as Miss West Virginia 2014.  If there’s a better way to send it into the weekend please let me know.  Have a good one!

Best New Music Of The Week

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Apr 184:40PM EST

I didn’t realize how many bombs got dropped this week until I went back to make up this list. Not top heavy, but a big bunch of hotness from a great group of up and comers along with some of your old favorites and my wife Lana.

 

Stream the best new music of the week

 

 

Does This Look Like The Back Of A Kentucky Bank Robber?

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fdoes-this-look-like-the-back-of-a-kentucky-bank-robber%2F
Apr 184:15PM EST

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LUDLOW, KY (FOX19)Ludlow Police are searching for a 26-year-old man believed to be involved in a Huntington Bank robbery.

The robbery happened at approximately 2:17 p.m. on April 10. Officers responded to the Huntington Bank located in the 300 block of Elm Street.

Officers say that Matthew Wolfinbarger, 26, entered the bank and demanded cash. Ludlow Police said no weapon was displayed and Wolfinbarger ran off on foot with cash.

After viewing surveillance footage, police say they were able to positively identify Wolfinbarger. Wolfinbarger is approximately 6-feet tall and 185 pounds. He has brown hair and blue eyes. Police say Wolfinbarger has tattoos on his back, arm and behind the ear.

 

 

 

So Kentucky it hurts.

Question – are you considered a Kentucky fan if you don’t have the UK logo tattooed somewhere on your body as big as possible?   Are you just completely excluded from the club and considered a fake fan if you’re not inked up in blue?  Fucking Big Blue Nation.  Bunch of maniacs.

 

 

 

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Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Hope from NW Missouri State vs. Hayden from Coastal Carolina

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Apr 183:30PM EST

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Hope from NWMSt.

 

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Hayden from Coastal Carolina

 

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1 for Hope…5 for Hayden

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (262 votes, average: 2.59 out of 5)
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The Barstool Boardshorts Are The Summer’s First Must-Have Item

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Apr 183:00PM EST

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 PRE-ORDER NOW
OH SHIT.  Does not get more bro than the new Barstool Boardshorts.  Hottest shit for the beach ever.  Plus they’re comfortable as fuck too.   Walk right up to some rich dick in a $300 Vilibrequin bullshit bathing suit and show him what real luxury looks like for only $55.  Yes only 55 bucks.  Not a typo.

 

These are from the Ack Surf brand but now we have our own.   We will only have 1 order all summer so if you don’t pre order yours then we won’t have em in stock. These will be in your hands mid June and ready to rock and roll for the 4th of July.

 

 

 PRE-ORDER NOW

Meet The College Football Bag Man

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmeet-the-college-football-bag-man%2F
Apr 182:30PM EST

 

 

Taiwanese animations, so hot right now after not being hot for like 2 years.  So hot.

 

If you haven’t checked out “Meet The Bag Man” yet it’s a must read for any college football fan or just sports fan in general.  How to buy college football players in the words of a man who delivers the money.  Or you could just watch the Taiwanese take on it for a couple minutes and get the general gist of  if you hate reading words I guess.  To each their own.

 

 

Barstool #SmokeshowOfTheDay Contest is Live

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-smokeshowoftheday-contest-is-live%2F
Apr 181:45PM EST

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hermitude – Ukiyo

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Apr 181:10PM EST

Flume 2.0.

Introducing The Smokeshow Madness Championship

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Apr 1812:30PM EST

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 SMOKESHOW MADNESS 

 

 

 

WOW.  A Michigan vs. Ohio State finals.  You couldn’t even script this shit.

Little bit of a shocker on the right side of the bracket.  Tough to call it an upset when Elizabeth is one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen in my life but early odds had Ginny from Arizona as the overall #1 seed.  Had a little bit of a lead heading into last night when Michigan Stoolies banded together and Elizabeth stormed back out front.   Meanwhile on the other side of the bracket Hannah narrowly edged Stephanie from Iowa State by LESS THAN 50 votes.  Never seen anything like it.  It really is madness.  Smokeshow Madness.

So here is the title match.  $1K to the winner on the line but more importantly school pride.  A chance to go down in the Barstool history books as the campus with the hottest smokeshow of all 64 tournament teams.   Let’s do this.

 

 

PS – I didn’t check the votes for the final hour of voting and closed my eyes when I clicked “shut down votes” and “compile next round” so that I would be surprised. #barstoolconfessions

 

 

Hannah from Ohio State  

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Elizabeth from Michigan

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Portland Reservoir Pisser Bro Responds To The Haters: “I Didn’t Piss In The Fucking Water Dude”

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fportland-reservoir-pisser-bro-responds-to-the-haters-i-didnt-piss-in-the-fucking-water-dude%2F
Apr 1811:45AM EST

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VOCATIVDallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing.

“I didn’t piss in the fucking water,” he says, pulling a drag off a Newport cigarette. “Yeah, it’s fucking retarded dude,” Swonger says.

“Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” he says, flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby bush. “It’s no fuckin’ joke, dude. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is dumb ass because he pissed in the fuckin’ water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s fucking awesome. I mean, wouldn’t you be pissed about that?”

Eager to shred with some friends, he and two buddies went to skateboard at Mount Tabor Park after hours, which is home to three of the city’s five uncovered drinking water reservoirs – and a handful of excellent hill runs. After bombing down the park’s western slope, nature began to call Swonger. It was around 1 a.m. and the three friends, along with two other people they met in the park, were near one of the reservoirs.

“I was like, ‘Dudes I have to piss so bad,’” he says. “So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].” “I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it,” he says. “Right there on the wall, dude. I don’t know else how to describe it.”

Water Bureau officials, however, insist Swonger took a leek in the drink. “When you see the video, he’s leaning right up because he has to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars,” bureau administrator Davd Shaff told the Oregonian. “There’s really no doubt what he’s doing.”

The city says it will dump a total of 38 million gallons of water, even though test results on Thursday showed no signs of water contamination.

“Like, how they can do that?” says Swonger. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and shit. I mean, really, dude?”

The whole ordeal has Swonger pretty rattled. “Dallas is really bummed out about all of it,” says his skateboard buddy McDonald, who we reached by phone on Thursday. “He’s a really good guy at heart. He just doesn’t make the best decisions. Honestly, he has the potential to do really good.”

 

 

 

Previously on Barstool… Portland Forced To Drain 38 Million Gallons Of Drinking Water After 19 Year Old Bro Pisses In Reservoir

 

 

 

 

Is this kid real life or am I getting punked by satire here?  I mean this interview was verified by The Oregonian but honestly first time I read this I thought it was an Onion-type article about a typical skater bro giving typical skate bro quotes.   Is it possible that this kid actually exists and this conversation was real?  And if so is it weird if I kind of believe him?   Bro didn’t piss in the fucking water.  It’s fucking retarded dude.  Just pissed right up on the wall.   Plus there’s hella dead birds and squirrels and shit in there anyway dude.  I don’t know, seems air tight to me.  Especially the way he’s selling it with so much conviction.  Think I’m on Swonger’s side here, plus let’s not forget his buddy McDonald backing him up and saying he has the potential to do really good because he’s really good at heart which is basically all the confirmation I need.  Dallas and McDonald, what a fucking duo.

 

PS – At the same time I got to respect the city administrator dropping the “little wee wee” quote right in the middle of a major paper.  Fight fire with fire.  You want to piss in my reservoir and make me drain 38 gallons of drinking water?  Enjoy everyone reading about your tiny dick.  ”Little wee wee.”  No phrase is more emasculating than that.