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Florida – A Miami man caught and killed the longest Burmese python ever captured in the state of Florida, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.  Jason Leon was driving late at night on May 11 in a rural area of southeast Miami-Dade County when he saw about 3 feet of a snake sticking out of the bushes. Having owned and handled Burmese pythons in the past, according to FWC, Leon pulled an 18-foot, 8-inch female from the roadside. The snake wrapped itself around Leon’s leg, and he called for assistance.

He used a knife to kill the snake.

“Jason Leon’s nighttime sighting and capture of a Burmese python of more than 18 feet in length is a notable accomplishment that set a Florida record. The FWC is grateful to him both for safely removing such a large Burmese python and for reporting its capture,” said Kristen Sommers, with FWC, in a release.
 

Florida!  Doing it so big like usual.  It’s no wonder everyone grows up dreaming of one day retiring to Florida to live out their days in peace.  I mean if there’s one thing writing at Barstool has taught me it’s that Florida is basically a modern day utopia.  Great people.  Low crime rate.  Only one 19 foot Burmese python slithering around eating people’s heads off their shoulders and swallowing their brains for breakfast, and actually now 0 of those thanks to Jason Leon.    Really can’t think of one downside of the Sunshine State.

In today’s edition of High School Handjobs, meet our next lucky winner, the dude who just successfully launched himself like 10 feet over the head of the catcher to score during state.   95 inch vertical to plate a run when it matters the most, girls warm those palms up.

PS – What’s up with speeding the camera up?  Were you trying to make him seem faster or something?  Bro he just successfully high jumped the catcher to score in the playoffs, I think that’s sufficiently impressive.

Introducing the official worst feeling in the world.  The moment after you jump out of a plane or off of a cliff and pull the cord and realize your chute ain’t working.  If this guy didn’t shit directly in his pants he’s a bigger man than I would be.

Absolutely horrifying and tragic stuff.  One second you’re sitting in your family room the next second everything you know and everything around you is completely destroyed.  Your home, your neighborhood, your town.    Cannot even imagine the terror you feel when you see one of these bearing down on you:

Insane.

One word.  WATERWORKS.

Finding your dog alive in a literal pit of despair and destruction while doing a live interview?  Can’t even script that shit.  Would be too unbelievable.

Introducing Paige from WVU.  About time we kicked it back to a Mountaineer smoke.  Used to dominate the U, feel like we need to reinvigorate that.  Best first step – Paige.

From the man’s facebook:

“NEW HOUR MIX IS HERE! This will be the first of a bi-monthly series tailored specifically for your car, gym and parties. Turn it up, sing along and party on.”

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Introducing Cassie from Arizona.  What a great way to end a Monday.  Arizona smokes can always pick up even the worst day.

In the air as we speak flying back to NY after a long ass LA weekend.  Want to get off the plane with 20 smoke submissions waiting for me.  Names and FB links to tips@barstoolu.com

Original Video:

“In Your Face You Longhorn Pussies” Video:

Boom! Texas getting southern style BBQ’d. To be honest, I thought the first video was embarrassing enough. Probably didn’t even need to pile on. When your 2013 preview is just Mack Brown basically apologizing for falling asleep at the wheel since 2009, you don’t exactly have A-1 hype up material.

Festival season brings festival sets, and today we’ve got EDC New York performance recordings from Afrojack, Porter Robinson, Nicky Romero and more…