Barstool U - By the C - Student, for the C - Student.

Introducing Kelly from the U sending us into the weekend.  Have a good one motherf*ckers!

Sneaky good week of tunes, with some highlights coming from Classixx, Travi$ Scott, Guetta, and Black Hippy.

Chicago – Notre Dame’s current and former football coaches cost it at least $3,142,923 for the 2011 football season, but it’s the tab for the dismissal of ex-coach Charlie Weis that indeed may approach $19 million by the end. Weis received another buyout payment of $2,054,744 as part of the separation agreement for his firing in 2009, bringing the total amount paid to the ousted Irish coach and current Kansas head coach to nearly $10.8 million, according to federal tax documents the school provided the Tribune on Thursday.

It is the second consecutive payment of $2,054,744 to Weis after the initial payment of $6,638,403 after his firing. The university is scheduled for “additional annual payments” through Dec. 2015, so four more installments of the same $2 million-plus figure would bring the total to $18,966,867. Brian Kelly, meanwhile, earned a total of $1,088,179 from the school for a reporting period of July 2011 through June 2012, the documents show. That likely does not represent the total earnings for the coach that would lead Notre Dame to the national title game in January.

Gastric bypass surgery ain’t cheap folks. Somebody’s gotta cover those medical bills. I guess Weis is just livin’ the dream in Kansas now. You know, except for throwing up a 1-11 record last season with the Jayhawks and limping around the bottom of the Big 12. The guy’s still gets paid in the same range as Bob Stoops and Mack Brown for being fired from one team and absolutely tanking another. It’s incredible. It’s deplorable. And you’ve gotta love every minute of it. Making a fool out of Notre Dame. Making a fool of himself. Maybe he can find a way to get fired from Kansas and head back to Foxborough. Then his full diabolical plan would be complete.

Laurena from Rutgers 

Danielle from USC 

1 for Laurena…5 for Danielle

(453 votes, average: 3.89 out of 5)

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Toothpaste Man is back and I mean fucking BACK baby!  Just ripping the Electric Daisy Carnival to absolute shreds.  His dance moves simply cannot be topped, and what makes it all even more impressive is that he busts that shit out all while wearing a tube of toothpaste.  Next level stuff.

PS-  What’s the exact opposite of HD?  That’s what this video was filmed in.

-Thanks Ryan for the video.  Please buy an iPhone.

TMZ- Eva Longoria had an interesting Wednesday night … she GRADUATED from a master’s program at Cal State University Northridge. First off … this was NO honorary degree — 38-year-old Eva quietly busted her ass for the past 3 years (taking classes IN PERSON) to earn a master’s degree in Chicano and Chicana Studies from CSUN.  A rep for Longoria tells us … Eva began the program while she was still working on “Desperate Housewives” and found time to complete her schoolwork on the set. We’re told Eva’s thesis was titled, “Success STEMS From Diversity: The Value of Latinas in STEM Careers.

Is Eva kidding me right now? My graduation photos are all of me in sunglasses trying to find the right angle to hide the bloating after abusing my body for four years. No smiles, a fucked up hood and a triangle-shaped sunburn on my head. Absolute trainwreck. After seeing these pictures I almost want to follow in her footsteps and gets a masters in Chicano and Chicano Studies too, and by that I mean I want to spend the next two years touching myself to pictures of Eva Longoria.

PS- We also need to take a second to recognize Mr. Longoria for his phenomenal sperm and the ability rock a bolo tie like no one else before him. That’s high fashion.

Fuck this losing shit.   So sick of not placing in the money.  I win the bball tournaments.  I win the football tournaments.   I even win the hockey tournaments.  And here I am struggling to even break the top 100 in baseball every week.  It just doesn’t make any sense.  Enough is enough.  Tonight I hunker down and win this thing.  Count on it.

$25 Entry Fee

$6,000 total prizes 

Starts 7:05 pm Friday

ENTER HERE

Ze David Guetta remixes ze Empire of ze Sun “Alive.”

It’s officially official.  The Stool is heading to AC this summer and we’re throwing what could quite possibly be the biggest show we’ve ever done.  Not even exaggerating.  Huge space, AC in the summer.  Not so much a Blackout show as much as it is an event, an event that anyone in a 100 mile radius would be a flat out idiot to miss.  So mark it down on your calendars.  July 20th.  Atlantic City Convention Center.  Barstool Blackout.

Blackout:  Atlantic City  - July 20 – Atlantic City Convention Center – Tickets on Sale NOW

FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE 

USA Today – Tyrann Mathieu signed a deal with the Arizona Cardinals that will provide him a bigger overall payout than his slot as the 69th overall pick in the draft dictated while also protecting the team in case of any drug-related relapses.  Mathieu’s agent, Patrick Lawlor, told USA TODAY Sports his client signed a four-year contract worth over $3 million, which is more than $100,000 higher than last year’s No. 69 pick (Buffalo Bills wide receiver T.J. Graham) received.

Lawlor said there’s no additional language in the contract about money forfeiture due to a positive drug test. Mathieu will be subject to the same contract rules as “anybody else in the league” as determined by the collective bargaining agreement, though Lawlor has said Mathieu verbally agreed to regular drug tests.  The Cardinals, meanwhile, split up the $662,500 guaranteed bonus Mathieu was slated to receive into a $265,000 signing bonus up front and roster bonuses totaling $397,500 throughout the final three years of the contract.

Listen we’ve all had our fun making fun of Honey Badger, what with his “marijuana addiction” and his “first round draft pick party.”  And yeah he was a bad teammate and messed up and smoked in college and it cost him and his team.     But can you say overkill?  10 drug tests a month?   Seriously is this the first fucking guy in the NFL to smoke weed before?  Are we still talking about a 21 year old smoking some blunts?  Isn’t it practically fucking legal now?  Get this guy some weed bacon and shut the fuck up about it.

Only reason it’s even an issue is because he got caught so ESPN started digging into his past and dragged him through so much mud he had to go to marijuana rehab and fake a tearful apology on TV to try and get his image back for the draft.  Dude is still a freak on the football field.