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I’m Honestly Supposed To Believe This Recruit Is A Junior In High School?

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Dec 1910:40AM EST

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35.  35 years old and not a day under.  Sorry to blow up your spot Julian but you’re either A) one of those imposters posing as a high school kid to play sports again or B) had a HELL of a time passing the 3rd grade.   Like, 10 years in the 3rd grade.   Only explanation for being a middle-aged high school student who looks like he has two 18 year old kids at home.

 

Apparently you’re pretty good though judging by the programs extending offers, so I can see why all the teachers and coaches are looking the other way:

 

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Just want you to know, I’m onto you.

If The $49 Million Offer Didn’t Convince You Jim Harbaugh Is Going To Michigan…This Fan Made Video Will

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Dec 1910:10AM EST

 

 

Ok maybe Jim Harbaugh could resist 49 million bucks. Maybe he really wanted to stay in the pros and win a Super Bowl and pass up being the highest paid football coach even over Nick Saban.  Maybe he just reallllyyyy doesn’t want to deal with college kids and all the NCAA bullshit.  It’s possible.

What’s not possible is still thinking that after seeing this fan made video.  Seriously, lock it up.  Don’t even care about Michigan and I’m still rock hard – imagine what Harbaugh is pitching in his khakis right now.  Can’t even hide it because the shirt is definitely tucked in.

 

 

Florida Woman Arrested For Slapping Her Grandmother In The Face For Declining Her Facebook Friend Request

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fflorida-woman-arrested-for-slapping-her-grandmother-in-the-face-for-declining-her-facebook-friend-request%2F
Dec 199:30AM EST

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Clearwater - A Florida woman was arrested for repeatedly slapping her 72-year-old grandmother in the face for refusing to accept her Facebook friend request according to authorities.

According to a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office report, Rachel Anne Hayes, 27, faces felony charges of aggravated battery on an elderly person.

The Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office told Orlando TV station WFTV an argument erupted over the Facebook friend request Thursday morning and led to Hayes repeatedly slapping her grandmother on the side of her face without permission.

 

 

 

Facebook requests?  What is this 2009?  Had to double and triple check the date on this story to make sure it wasn’t from half a decade ago.  We’re talking about Facebook?  Grow up lady.  It’s almost 2015.   I mean if Grandma has her Insta set to private and is taking 2 weeks to approve you that’s one thing, but let’s chill with the Facebook rage.

Totally on board with not accepting the friend request though, even though she’s family. ESPECIALLY if she’s family.  Hey bitch maybe you just totally suck at Facebook?   Sorry not everybody wants their timeline jammed up with your stupid posts?  100 pictures of your baby dressed up in cute outfits.  Status updates for every place you go, thing you eat and thought you have during the day.  All your hot takes on Ferguson and the NYPD.  Your constant Share-ing of “He’s Not My President!” memes with 6 paragraph rants about your educated thoughts on politics in America.  I mean that’s basically all Facebook is these days, timelines clogged with garbage.  Got to do whatever you can to keep it relevant and the first step is not accepting friend requests from the worst offenders.  Sorry Grandma’s not sorry Rachel.

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Taylor from FSU

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Dec 199:04AM EST

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Introducing Taylor from Florida State.  Happy Friday!

 

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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Katrina from Florida Gulf Coast

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Dec 185:30PM EST

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Introducing Katrina from FGCU.  Dunk City is so on fire right now I don’t even know what to do about it.

 

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Classic Grandpa Prank, Grabbing A Giant Palmful Of His Granddaughter’s Butt Cheek In A Family Photo

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Dec 184:50PM EST

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Oh that grandpa, such a prankster. No one gets or attempts this kind of humor besides him but that’s what makes his silliness so great and unique to their relationship! Some grandparents have corny jokes or stories about the good ol’ days but not Pop Pop here. His laughs come in the form of a smile and finger placement that can find out if you’ve got tapeworms. When you smell whisky in the air and see the transition lens glasses come out, you know laughter is en route. “Just like your grandmother’s used to be BWAHAHA.” Wholesome family-sized lols and soon to be repressed memories all over the place. #HateOnIt

 

 

(via Imgur)

Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014: #11-20

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-beats-top-100-songs-of-2014-11-20%2F
Dec 184:10PM EST

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So now we’re in that territory where every single track could have been the #1 song of the year.  Making these decisions really hurts my soul, but someone’s got to do it, and I get to listen to the fire flames playlists while I’m making them so it’s kind of ok.  Anyway, enough of me, time for the #11-20 songs of the year featuring The Weeknd, Lorde, Flume, Drake, Ariana Grande, David Geutta, Alt-J, deadmau5, Ellie Goulding, and more…

Click here to stream the Barstool Beats Top 100 Songs of 2014: #11-20

ICYMI: #21-30#31-40 | #41-50 | #51-100

a few highlights…

#11 - Beyonce – Drunk In Love (The Weeknd Remix)

#12 - Lorde – Tennis Court (Flume Remix)

#13 - Makonnen – Tuesday (Remix ft. Drake)

#15 - deadmau5 – Phantoms Can’t Hang

#16 - Alt-J – Left Hand Free

USC Phi Sigma Kappa’s “Masquerave” Is Yet Another Party That Makes Me Hate My Life

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Dec 183:45PM EST

 

 

 

Oh cool, another college party that makes me want to die!  Keep up the good work tipsters, it’s definitely not catastrophically depressing!

 

Still can’t get over that last fucking USC party

 

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Are all you USC people like professional partiers slash videographers?

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Taylor (fuck you Taylor) via R/Frat 

 

Chicks Confess What Life Is Like With Huge Boobs

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Dec 183:00PM EST
I have no problem when guys only want to date me for my huge boobs. I love them & so should they

 

I genuinely love that my boobs are so big they will never fully fit in any bra, no matter how big it is

 

Whenever people meet me, they don't remember my name, instead they call me "the girl with the big boobs" I don't hate it

 

I got pulled over today but Got away with no  ticket after squeezing my boobs together and letting the cop motorboat me

 

I use my boobs to get my way and I feel guilty and good about it at the same time

 

I never wear bras. My nipples are pierced and I'm a size DD/DDD. They're just so uncomfortable. I like my boobs to feel free.

 

I tell people I hate having big boobs but I secretly love all the attention they get me

 

Just found out I can lick my own nipples. ...YES!!! love having big boobs

 

my boobs are so big that I can't help but flash my boyfriend at random and it turns him on so fast.

 

I can't see my toes anymore, not because I'm fat but because my boobs are too big

 

I love having big boobs. They give my chin a pillow to rest on when I fall asleep at my desk at work.

 

I wear a D cup and if you think that I don't play with my boobs, you're wrong.

 

I don't think he could handle my boobs. There isn't a second date

 

My boobs are so big I can't bend over because it puts too much pressure on my nips

 

I'm scared of losing weight because I don't want my big boobs to get smaller.

 

I've always wanted to work at Hooters. I have the boobs for it so why not?

 

I have huge boobs. I win as a woman.

 

 

 

 

What’s it like to have huge boobs? Awesome.  I answered it for you girls.  Just in a word that sums it up. Good looking chick with big boobs, the world is your oyster. Can get literally anything you want.  Don’t want to hear any sob stories about it.

 

To check out more confessions or leave your own check out the Whisper App now…

 

 

 

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Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Peyton from TCU vs. Avery from Syracuse

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Dec 182:20PM EST

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Peyton from TCU

 

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Avery from Syracuse

 

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1 for Peyton..5 for Avery

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (278 votes, average: 4.10 out of 5)
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