Barstool U - By the C - Student, for the C - Student.

Introducing Amanda from FSU.  Blackout smoke.  No not for one of our shows, because I literally blacked out just now looking at the gallery.

Yahoo- The Gamecocks just landed a key commitment to its Class of 2015, with Georgia defensive end Arden Key pledging his future to Steve Spurrier’s squad. The bad news? He belittled South Carolina’s academics in an underhanded way while committing, and said that was a key reason he wanted to be a Gamecock. As first reported by Palmetto Sports and brought to Prep Rally’s attention by The Big Lead, Key, a rising junior defensive end Lithonia (Ga.) High, cited USC’s coaching staff as a key reason why he committed to the Gamecocks rather than in-state power Georgia. Yet, he also said that the school’s ability to create an easy road for its athletes as a key reason why he wanted to head to Columbia. “The academic part, it’s like you have to try to fail,” Key told Palmetto Sports. That probably isn’t the best way for a young prospect to endear himself to a large body of alumni who will, in turn, spend their hard earned money to watch him play. It stands to reason that most of those fans probably spent more time ensuring that they would graduate than Key plans on doing himself. Perhaps he meant to cite South Carolina’s tutor program as the key to lifting up players’ academic performance. According to unverified reports, he took a tour of the Dodie Anderson Academic Enrichment Center while visiting the campus shortly before committing, so that actually is a distinct possibility.

In fairness, maybe he was actually talking about the university caring so much about its players that they give them extra academic help. There’s probably all kinds of resources available for student athletes on campus like tutoring, more time on their open laptop exams and signing them up for classes that don’t actually exist. Wait who am I kidding? That’s a North Carolina thing. No way any other school would sacrifice their academic integrity for a successful football program. But no matter what he actually meant I still like Arden’s style. Either he’s coming to school ready to get his fucking learn on or he’s just counting down the days until he’s draft eligible. You can’t wouldn’t blame him for being honest. After all, he ain’t come to play school.

The summer of Soundmen continues with their latest track, an airy electronic remix of Blondfire’s “Waves.”

-Thanks Tim for the pic

Washington Post- Muthu Alagappan always encounters the same problem whenever he shows up to play pickup basketball. At 5 feet 10, the Stanford medical student and basketball junkie said he finds himself thrust into the role of point guard, “yet I don’t like being the point guard.”The frustration of being stereotyped into a position that doesn’t fit his skill set eventually served as one of the motivating factors for a scientific discovery that could revolutionize the NBA and redefine the five traditional positions. Alagappan came to his theory as an intern two years ago at Ayasdi, a startup company based in Palo Alto, Calif. Alagappan, then a Stanford undergrad majoring in biomechanical engineering, asked if he could apply the company’s software to basketball stats. It quickly produced distinct patterns and color codes that led him to determine that basketball actually has at least 10 distinct positions; success comes from finding the appropriate blend.

Alagappan’s original 13 positions serve as more sophisticated descriptions of a player’s skill set as opposed to archaic roles based on height and weight. He came up with jump-shooting ballhandlers (Stephen Curry), role-playing ballhandlers (Arron Afflalo), scoring rebounders (Dirk Nowitzki), paint protectors (Tyson Chandler) and the rare two-way all-star (LeBron James). Alagappan proposed his discovery in March 2012 at MIT’s Sloan Sports Analytics Conference, where he claimed first prize, and immediately attracted the attention of NBA executives. He also made Forbes magazine’s “30 under 30” list of influential sports industry figures, along with James, Kevin Durant and Robert Griffin III. And while visiting Silicon Valley for a fundraiser earlier this month, President Obama became intrigued by the research and wrote a note to Alagappan and Ayasdi that read, “Great work!” The Miami Heat, tied with the San Antonio Spurs at 2-2 in the NBA Finals, and the Portland Trail Blazers have both secured formal partnerships with Ayasdi.

This kid can throw as many mathematical formulas, 30 Under 30 lists, NBA scouting contracts and notes from the President in my face as he wants, but there’s a zero percent chance I’m going to listen to him because stat geeks rank just behind “The Guy Who Gets Legitimately Upset When His Team Loses” as my least favorite people in sports. Muthu is the kind of person who would get a job at a call center and take Bill James as his English name. I know from a business standpoint it makes sense to analyze everything as much as possible but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to bitch about it.

I guess it’s kind of cool there’s actually 13 positions. But Ii don’t see how this revolutionizes the game. At the end of the day your line-up is probably still going to have a 6 foot tall guy who can handle the ball, a 6’5″ dude who can shoot and a 7 footer who stands in the middle being tall. Does it really matter if they’re called a “center” or a “paint protector?” All the new positions do is make inflate Lebron’s ego more. Like I said, I get what he’s trying to do here, but I don’t need a fancy mathematical formula to figure out how this ends. If history means anything teams will start filling their front office with guys that look like Jonah Hill, rely too much on what they have to say and create a team that is consistently competitive but never actually wins. Good luck to the Heat though.

Nicki from Columbia Chicago

Allie from Clemson

1 for Nicki…5 for Allie

(11 votes, average: 3.18 out of 5)

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 Reddit

Pretty funny prank, even funnier prank is when the guy decides to move out in the morning and refuse to pay rent sticking you with an open Pretty Little Princess room that you can’t convince anyone to live in.  At least that’s what I would do.  I mean I appreciate a good prank as much as the next guy but it’s all about one upping them with the response.  Ha ha, you got me, awesome work, now enjoy the big % increase in your monthly rent until you find a bro psyched to live in a 4 year old girl’s bedroom.

Love this bitch’s style.  Just peacocking right in her little brothers’ mugs.  Want this ball, come and take it, just don’t be surprised when you end up with fistfuls of air and a black eye for your troubles.  Seriously not a good look for these little bros.  Can’t even snag a measly foul ball from a girl 4-on-1 without one of you ending up with a face full of fruit punch bawling your eyes out?   Disgusting.   Future soccer players of America.

God I hope I never have kids.

 The Score

Who is more embarrassed, Lebron being stuck with these shoes if the Heat lose, or the person who paid actual money out of their pocket to own and wear these?  Tough call.   Probably the ugliest sneakers ever created in the history of footwear, and that’s being kind.  Whatever the exact opposite of the Smoke Patrol is, that’s what I’m sending out on these.

PS-  Can’t wait for Miami to come back and win and for the NBA conspiracy theorists to use this as Exhibit A of how Stern rigged the Finals because Nike paid him to or something.  Can’t even say I’d blame them.

News One- Jhonni Blaze (pictured) reportedly had a miscarriage on stage while in the throes of twerking, the latest dance craze that involves moving the booty and hips in a vigorous up and down motion Last Wednesday, as the young performer was reportedly twerking on stage, she began to bleed profusely. When Blaze left the stage, witnesses allege, that she went in to a convulsion. The paramedics were immediately summoned, transporting her to the nearest emergency room, where she was reportedly given a transfusion. The self-described “pole assassin” and proclaimed “Queen of Houston” was reportedly treated for a miscarriage. Although Blaze has not officially confirmed the miscarriage, she did manage to tweet the day after the incident that she was in pain.

Absolute worst thing in the world that can happen to you at a strip club right?  I mean we’ve all gotten fucked over a time or two.  Get tricked into a $1000 “VIP lap dance” then have 4 meathead bouncers force you to pay up.   Accidentally use your parent’s credit card “for emergencies” on “VIP lounge – Special Service.”   Order a little champagne to celebrate and they switch in a premium $1K bottle instead of the one you ordered.  All the normal strip club pitfalls.  Anybody who has ever been knows there is no shortage of things that can put a damper on your time, just got to keep your head up and fight through it and watch some tits bounce.  But miscarriages are probably where I’d draw the line?  Like if you were to ask me what would make me never go back to a strip club ever again witnessing that would probably be it?    It’s like the most horrible juxtaposition imaginable.  Buzz on, feet kicked up, watching hot topless bitches shaking their asses on stage, then a massive bloody miscarriage right in your grillpiece during the twerk show.  Puke city.