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Next Friday, The Blackout Tour Hits Providence To Take Over Lupos

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Sep 26:30PM EST

Who’s ready to Blackout?

Tickets

So next Friday we return to Providence. URI, Brown, JWU, RIT, and any other Rhode Island school, this is your time to fucking party. School just started so it’s time to get weird and blackout! September 12th, Lupos Heartbreak Hotel. Tickets are on sale now!

Buy Tickets Here

Oh yeah and for those of you all who didn’t know, we’re coming back to Worcester October 24th and Hartford 25th! Tickets Go on sale Friday at noon! Get ready to Blackout.

Barstool Blackout: Worcester – The Palladium – Friday October 24th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale Friday at NOON )

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Barstool Blackout: Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale Friday at NOON)
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Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Carly from Michigan

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Sep 25:30PM EST

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Introducing Carly from Michigan.  Hollllyyyy hell.

 

 

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Lea Michele Is Celebrating No Naked Photo Leaks By Throwing Ass Shots Out On Twitter

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Sep 24:50PM EST

 

 

Glee star Lea Michele was on the “master list” of women whose photos are allegedly out there and available for publish by Spooky Ghost and his dark web buddies. Normally, that’d be cause for some alarm, maybe a little time retreating from the public eye out of disgust for the culture of fame and distaste for people’s willingness to abuse basic rights to privacy.

 

But not for Lea Michele. No hack no care. And maybe there’s some logic here. If you dump a motherlode of bikini pics, perhaps the hackers’ll go “Ahhh you know what? She’s pretty chill” and just keep the photos of you shoving a (hopefully unplugged) curling iron into your butthole to themselves. The “no honor amongst thieves” credo probably doesn’t apply to guys who commit most of their felonies with their pants around their ankles, right?

 

 

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(photos via Instagram, GQ. h/t @ChrisMcCurry518)

Best of Barstool Viceroys Week 1 – From Welcome Weekend, to Shitting Yourself, to Slip N Slides, and Beyond…

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbest-of-barstool-viceroys-week-1-from-welcome-weekend-to-shitting-yourself-to-slip-n-slides-and-beyond%2F
Sep 24:30PM EST

 

So I’d say school is back in action. This is going to be a weekly Monday feature where we reward the craziest shit from the previous weekend. If you have a picture that we missed that should be featured (SUBMIT IT HERE). The picture that has the most RTs by 6PM tomorrow night will win $100 cash money.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Top 20 Songs of August 2014

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Ftop-20-songs-of-august-2014%2F
Sep 24:10PM EST

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None of them have shit on the Barstool Beats app though…no offense Papi…

 

 Click here to stream the Top 20 Songs of August 2014

 

 Click here to stream the Top 20 Songs of August 2014

By Popular Demand…Introducing Florida Alpha Omicron Pi

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Sep 23:30PM EST

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Florida AOPI

 

 

 

 

Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool?  Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to tips@barstoolu.com and we’ll feature it some point during the week.

 

 

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Reader Email – NCAA Shuts Down Oklahoma State Wrestler’s KickStarter For “The ChugNut” Beer Shotgunning Tool

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Freader-email-ncaa-shuts-down-oklahoma-state-wrestlers-kickstarter-for-the-chugnut-beer-shotgunning-tool%2F
Sep 23:00PM EST

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ChugNut

 

Reader Email

 

Hey Kmarko,

This guy made a Kickstarter for a beer multi tool and was awesome so I backed it. He almost had the project fully funded when he cancelled it and gave this explanation:

“Im sure some of you who know me personally know that I am a college athlete. Although the vast majority of backers for this project don’t know me personally and have no idea who I am or what sport I play or even where I go to school. That does not exempt me from the fact that according to NCAA bylaws:

12.4.4 Self-Employment. A student-athlete may establish his or her own business, provided the student-athlete’s name, photograph, appearance or athletics reputation are not used to promote the business.”

So basically the guy got shut down because his name and face were attached to his product and he also happens to wrestle at Oklahoma State. How am I supposed to shotgun a beer can with my keys like a fucking poor person when I know that this technology exists?

Tom

 

 

 

Oh shit, I didn’t want a ChugNut at all, but then I saw Oklahoma State wrestler Ben Laures was advertising it on a Kickstarter Vimeo video and was like holy fuck I NEED to have this.  Thank god the NCAA is here to protect me from myself.  Almost wasted 20 bucks getting tricked by such an incredible celebrity athlete endorsement.   Another day, another example of the NCAA doing god’s work preventing athletes from doing literally anything except play sports for free.

 

Honestly, if you’re going to insist college athletes don’t profit off their name or likeness at least use some sort of common sense scale with it. The starting quarterback at Alabama can’t sell his jersey, or the defensive star of LSU can’t do car commercials, fine.  But some fucking wrestling bro at Oklahoma State?  Let him sell ChugNuts.  Thing looks legitimately awesome.  Instead me and Tom are stuck shotgunning beers with our keys like poor people getting inadequate holes and probably slicing our fingers open because Mark Emmert is a dickhole, great.

 

 

PS – Also I googled ChugNut and got an Urban Dictionary entry as the first result, not a PR guy or anything but might want to work on the branding.

 

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Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Sam from SMU vs. Lane from UGA

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fsmokesmash-matchup-from-hell-sam-from-smu-vs-lane-from-uga%2F
Sep 22:20PM EST

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Sam from SMU

 

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Lane from UGA

 

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1 for Sam…5 for Lane

 

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (371 votes, average: 4.28 out of 5)
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LSU Professor Gives Assignment To Correct Les Miles’ Horrible Grammar In Press Conferences

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Flsu-professor-gives-assignment-to-correct-les-miles-horrible-grammar-in-press-conferences%2F
Sep 22:00PM EST

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Poor Les.  No respect.   Not even from his own campus.    Guy is 96-24 at LSU, consistently pulls in big time recruiting classes, competes for SEC titles and national championships and all anyone says about him is that’s a borderline functioning idiot.   Hey I’m as guilty as anyone, nobody provides better blog material than Les Miles with a microphone in front of his face.

 

 

 

 

 

Or basically just any sort of camera.

 

 

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PS – If this was at Alabama how fast would Saban have this professor’s tenure revoked and shipped off to teach basic ESL in Cambodia?

Barstool Fantasy Football Preview: How To Use Week 1 To Win Your League

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Sep 21:15PM EST

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They make it look so easy on The League. Someone commits a Seinfeld-ish faux pas, Marshawn Lynch comes in and hits on the one girl in your league, you pick up a guy on waivers and make some snide remark to one of your friends and boom, bathing in winnings and trophies named after Indian women.

Unfortunately, real life isn’t quite as simple. There’s a lot of luck involved in fantasy football as would be expected putting your life in the hands of random large men you’ll never meet who have no clue you exist. And there’s even more luck involved with picking your fantasy expert of choice: The problem is that outside of injuries and informed conjecture, no one really knows anything.

That’s where I come in. As an expert in succeeding despite not really knowing anything in most areas of my life, I’m deeply qualified in being Barstool’s fantasy football expert. My credentials speak for themselves: I’ve won my longstanding fantasy league TWICE in the last four years and I obsessively read football-based articles to have some sense of what’s going on. And, most importantly, I’ve got a strategy that works.

 

 

At its core, fantasy football is about two things: 1) Mitigating risk by picking steady guys with value over replacement at their position (your Petersons, McCoys, Calvin Johnsons on the high end, an Antonio Brown, Vernon Davis, or Andrew Luck on the slightly lower end) and 2) Working waivers obsessively in the hopes of finding someone at the bottom of your lineup who can step up and rise to the occasion of stardom or, at the very least, steady competency, will put you ahead of the game. Last year a WR2/Flex upgrade from let’s say Steve Smith to Alshon Jeffery would have singlehandedly won you a league if you had steady performers around them.

Paying attention Week 1 is especially crucial for winning your league. Last year, guys like Keenan Allen, Julius Thomas, Zac Stacy, Julian Edelman, and Jordan Cameron were out there after Week 1 and singlehandedly swung a season. At the same time, guys like Eddie Royal, Vick Ballard, and Leonard Hankerson were popular pickups and did approximately jack shit. If you knew who was legit and who was smoke and mirrors, you probably picked correctly and won a lot. If you picked wrong, odds are you were mired in mediocrity.

By now you know who’s good and who’s not; it doesn’t take a genius to tell you to start Peyton Manning until his spine turns to dust. So I’m going to take you through some of the guys I think can help you win your league if you had a decent draft to work off of. Some will pan out, some won’t, but I like the chances of several of these guys completely strengthening up some weaknesses on your fantasy team.

 

 

So whom should you keep an eye out for that could swing your league this season? Here are the players I think you need to watch:

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Josh McCown, QB, Tampa Bay – New coach, new offense, new WRs, and McCown carrying momentum from a stint covering for an injured Jay Cutler last year where he played out of his mind. They’ve got the weapons, they tried to improve the line with their trade for Logan Mankins, and they’re a good candidate for a “new coach bump” with the shift from Greg Schiano to Lovie Smith. Tough matchup vs Carolina but if McCown shows flashes, jump on him early, especially if you’ve got one of the Romo/Roethlisberger poo poo platter as your starter. I wouldn’t be shocked if McCown peels off several 250-300 yard, 3 TD days with regularity this season.

 

John Brown, WR, Arizona – Lost amongst the standard rookie WR hype for guys like the Bills’ Sammy Watkins, Saints’ Brandin Cooks, and Panthers’ Kelvin Benjamin (PS Benjamin is the dude, really like his odds of being this year’s breakout given how you or I could start at WR for the Panthers right now) is Brown, a tiny 3rd pick with 4.4 speed looming as a contributor. The hype around Brown, particularly amongst real football analysts, is bordering on sycophantic. I’m not sure how many balls there’ll be after Fitzgerald and Floyd get theirs but I like Brown’s chances of emerging as a steady WR3 with upside along the lines of a rookie year TY Hilton. The Cardinals are a dark horse in the NFC West with a chance of the 49ers D falling apart, Seattle regressing, and the Rams being the Rams so Brown may have a lot of chances to matter.

 

Zach Ertz, TE, Philadelphia – Ertz may or may not be available in your league, depending upon how big it is. But if he is and you don’t have one of Graham or Gronk and the room to stash and extra TE, I’d invest now. Ertz showed flashes last year with a little under 500 yards and 4 TDs and with another year of Chip Kelly’s offense and regular starters’ minutes coupled with uncertainty at WR, those balls have to go somewhere. Don’t be surprised if Ertz finishes between 3rd and 5th in TE points by year’s end regardless of if Nick Foles keeps the job or Mark Sanchez somehow rises back to glory.

 

Khiry Robinson, RB, New Orleans, Jeremy Hill, RB, Cincinnati, Terrance West, RB, Cleveland, Alfred Blue, RB, Houston, Andre Williams, RB, NY Giants, and Benny Cunningham/Tre Mason, RB, St. Louis – Running back is always a major waiver priority and you HAVE to be aggressive with it. Every season, one RB rises out of nowhere to fantasy relevance and finishes on the cusp of the top 10, likely a massive improvement on whomever you’re currently rolling out at RB2. Hill’s likely already gone in your league given BenJarvus Green-Ellis’s release but do your best to take a shot on one of the rest. Week 1 will be the big tell on who’s really going to get an opportunity and who’s not so I couldn’t advocate more trying to grab one of these guys now. Churn the bottom of your roster if you have starters and are carrying a low-ceiling guy like Darren McFadden or Pierre Thomas. This is your best chance at a game-changing lottery pick.

(My rank of all those guys: Hill, Williams, Robinson, West, Blue, Cunningham/Mason – who both seem primed to take advantage of a slow start from Zac Stacy but it’s unclear who’d get more of an opportunity)

 

 

So there you have it, our first fantasy breakdown. I’ll keep dropping these once a week on Tuesdays in the hopes that I won’t completely embarrass myself in print (well, any more than usual) by season’s end. If you have fantasy questions or suggestions, drop them in the comments and I’ll do my best to help/speculate in an effort to sound like I know more than you even though I very likely do not.