July 21, 2014 - July 27, 2014
Motorcyclist Interviewed About Crashes, Immediately Gets Obliterated By Another Motorcycle While Riding Away
Liveleak – “There’s been a lot of accidents here and I’m gonna work nearby this whole week, so I’m scared”, he said before taking off and crashing onto another motorcyclist. Both of them walked away with just a few scratches and did not want to be interviewed again.
You can definitely question this news station’s adequacy in selecting subjects for interviews about motorcycle safety but you’ve got to admire their dedication to reporting. Very gracious of them asking to interview the guy again right after he just got destroyed on camera. Hmm we could call an ambulance, maybe offer the guy a nice green tea to help calm his nerves after he almost died orrrrrr we could wipe down the spinal fluid leaking out of his ear and try to get another 10 seconds of footage in the hopes of going viral on Brazilian YouTube. Easy call. Why go get a degree from Northwestern when you’ve got Journalism 101 captured in video for free?
When something like that happens to you, do you even try to pick up the shattered pieces of your motorcycle or just call the cops and let them sort it out? Granted it’s Brazil so that bike was the equivalent of his 401K, life insurance, and a 30-year fixed rate mortgage rolled into one; he definitely went and grabbed every last shard of rice burner off the ground in the hopes his buddy Leonardåö could fix it up for some flank steak on a sword and a handy from a possible tranny.*
*Given that those two things and the World Cup are all I know of Brazil, I assume at least one of them has to be their national currency.
I’m not a regular watcher of this Nathan For You show but whenever anyone sends me a clip like the one above, it’s usually pretty great. And it’s not only great because of the gags within the video itself (raise your hand if you were shocked that saucy Latina little league lady declined the bribe, dec chance it’s only because she was confused on the exchange rate since it wasn’t in pesos), but also because this plan is actually brilliant. All everyone cares about today is the “Do it for the Vine” or Instagram likes mentality, you’re telling me some 15-year-old kids wouldn’t spend their money
on Barstool merch so they can throw up Viva hand signs on Twitter for RTs on a bottle of booze they can get when they’re 21 and a legit photo they can use to show off to their other idiot friends on social media? That sounds like a million dollar industry and any million dollar industry that exists just to siphon money out of idiot kids before they become idiot adults, I’m all on board with.
As a public service, below are two of the other best clips from the show to help you decide if you want to see more (for the record, this is not an ad though I’ll gladly take some of that Viacom cash if they want to sling some this way, don’t tell Pres). The caricature one is pretty great and gets wildly racist at points which I’m sure we all appreciate. The one with the kid is equally good, probably because the kid is slightly developmentally disabled but who knows, hard to tell with seven-year-olds.
Introducing Cheyenne from Coastal Carolina. Can always count on Coastal to give us a mid week boost with a blazer.
uhcougars1151 – After a night of fairly heavy drinking, I woke up to find I took a very unnecessary cab ride… Thank you Uber for rubbing it in my face with the detailed map….
I’ll tell you what. I would party with uhcougars any day of the fucking week. Friday night. Tuesday night. Sunday day. Any time. Anybody that goes this hard and gets this blacked to the point they need to take an Uber because they don’t recognize they are 10 feet away from their apartment is alright in my book. Never change Cougars, never change.
Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool? Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll feature it some point during the week.
Campus Reform - Minnesota State University – Mankato (MSUM) is welcoming students back to campus this fall with a lecture titled “I Heart Female Orgasm.”
The lecture, hosted by MSUM’s Women’s Center, LGBT Center, and the Violence Awareness and Response Program, is scheduled to take place during the university’s welcome week and is designed to target freshman. Samantha Hedwall, the Women’s Center Assistant Director at MSUM, told Campus Reform that the program is a “sex education class for the college age student” as “it combines sex education with laughter.”
The lecture is aimed at freshman, though some are still minors when they enter in the fall. In Minnesota, being a minor and engaging in certain sexual acts could lead to a charge of criminal sexual conduct in the fourth degree.
Hedwall explained that the program touches on the issues such as consent, female orgasms, sexual decisions, tips for partners, as well as “being a man, being a woman, [and] being in a safe sex, same gender identity group.”
While the lecture itself is optional, the fees in order to pay for this event—and others like it—are mandatory. Every student at MSUM must pay $453.60 in activity fees each year in order to fund these programs.
First things first. If people at Minnesota State U think that freshmen aren’t going to engage in sexual acts because they’re under 18 I think we need to put in a few more school-wide courses that are a lot more important than Orgasm lecture. Like “What College Is” for starters. Just give everybody a brief rundown on how it works and reiterate the fact that 99.7% of freshmen girls WILL be fucking by the end of the 3rd night on campus. Whole lot of fucking. Just nonstop sexual acts all over the dorms, frats, bars, clubs, alleyways. So yeah a class about sexual safety and awareness might be a little helpful even for a 17 1/2 year old. In my opinion.
I will say though that I think this class would be a hell of a lot more effective if it was aimed at the freshmen men instead of the women. I mean chicks already know they love orgasms. The problem is none of us know how to give it to them. Wouldn’t a little seminar on some tips and tricks be more effective and get college started off on the right foot? The kids are going to fuck anyway, why not make it more pleasurable? Dudes will be happy they get more sex, chicks will be happy they orgasm, feminists will be happy that the school is actively catering to the improved sex life of young women. Wins all around.
The Cardinals and their fans might be obnoxious as fuck but you got to give credit where credit is due. McConaughey coked out Wolf of Wall Street chest thump chant as your walk up music is a badass move. St. Louis, playing the pre-at-bat music game the right way.