August 18, 2014 - August 24, 2014
Everyone always tells me I’m obsessed with Alabama. They say I’m obsessed with the SEC. They say it’s all I think and talk about it. Well you tell me. How many ACC fans are tattooing their team catch phrases all over their face? How many Big 10 fans are getting arrested literally every single day and yelling their team motto at the camera? How many AAC fans? How many MAC fans? Yeah. You run a blog about the crazy stupid stuff that college sports fans do and try not to mention Alabama for a day, see how it works out. They are the gift that keeps on giving… and never, ever, ever stops giving.
Jen Selter’s Hot Friend Chelsey Novak Knows The Instgram Fame Game, Has Given Up Wearing Pants And Shirts
A couple weeks ago we were the first site to blog about Chelsey Novak after her and her delightfully overinflated rack stole all the shine on that Jen Selter/Dan Bilzerian photo. My theory on her at the time:
“With just 80K followers, she’s much less Insta-famous than the other two subjects in that photo but her Instagram game is absolutely relentless. It’s like seeing a young lion roaming the Serengeti while the rest of the pride lies around waiting for food to come to them, she just wants it more than a lot of the other chicks out there. Based on these pics, I wouldn’t be surprised to see some gynecological candids pop up if it means grabbing another 10,000 followers in the process.”
That blog was 10 days ago and the photos have been coming hot and heavy after I formally became Chelsey Novak’s manager, agent, and spiritual sherpa. And, guess what, this Chelsey Novak is now closing in on 100,000 followers with photos like the bare-assed one above and these:
Words like “relentless” get thrown around a lot but these photos are the very definition of it. Just so young and hungry for those little red hearts and comments so thirsty the English language can’t even contain them:
Instagram comments on photos of women almost showing the balloon knot for 10 minutes of pseudofame, now THERE’s a comment section you can set your watch to.
And Zollo face palms the haters. Download the Barstool Beats app today.
Cue the music…
Lets Throwback Thursday to some of the greatest events in Blackout history:
Providence, we’ve seen how wild you can get! We want to se it again; September 12th its time to fucking rage! This Blackout is going to be insane, wilder than any others because providence loves to fucking party. September 12th, Lupos Heartbreak Hotel, Barstool Blackout, you don’t want to miss this! Tickets on sale now!
Calling All Auburn Fans…Harvey Updyke Agrees To Charity Event Where Fans Can Throw Pies At His Face And Dunk Him In Dunk Tank To Prove He’s “Not A Nut”
(can never decide which awesome Updyke picture to go with, decided to just go with all of them at the same time)
ESPN - Harvey Updkye, the Alabama fan who infamously poisoned Auburn’s beloved oak trees at Toomer’s Corner in 2010, has agreed to appear at a charity event Sept. 27 in Mobile, Alabama, in which fans will be allowed to either dunk him in a dunking booth or throw pies at his face.
“He thought about it and thought about it,” Updyke’s wife, Elva, said. “His daughter said he needed to do it because it will show that he’s not as big of a nut as some people believe. He told them they can do whatever they want to him if it will raise money for kids.”
Harvey Updyke, the Alabama fan who infamously poisoned Auburn’s beloved oak trees at Toomer’s Corner in 2010, has agreed to a charity event in which fans will be allowed to dunk him in a dunking booth or throw pies at his face.
T.J. Hodges, an Alabama fan living near Chicago, is organizing the event to help raise money for the family of John Oliver, a boy from outside Mobile who died of cancer in July.
“The Harvey Updyke idea came from me thinking outside the box to raise money for the family,” Hodges said. “I thought I’d take a chance and see if Harvey was interested in helping, and he said he’d do whatever we wanted.”
Updyke, who now lives in Albany, Louisiana, also was sentenced to five years of probation and banned from attending any college sporting event for the rest of his life. In addition, he is prohibited from stepping foot on the Auburn campus again.
Updyke’s wife said he realizes Auburn fans probably will show up at the Mobile charity event to take a shot at him.
“He knows there’s going to be a lot of Auburn fans there, but he doesn’t care,” Elva Updyke said. “He’s 65 years old. What are they going to do to him? They’ll have security there.”
Haha, Elva. Classic Elva. Yeahh you’re right sweetheart, they’ll have security there, nothing to worry about, not a single thing. Oh except for any and every Auburn fan in the state who would literally give their life for the chance to strangle your husband to death with their bare hands. “What are they going to do to him?” Gee I don’t know Elva, ever seen Hostel? Use your imagination.
Seriously his could be the first charity event in history where the dude who donated his time to raise money for a great cause ends up bloody and murdered at the bottom of a dunk tank. Like I’m not sure if the organizers and the media here think Auburn fans are just going to laugh this off and shrug about it and say hey, it’s all good, bygones are bygones…but they can’t be that clueless about that SEC Football Life right?
NECN - Select students at Tufts University will take on the task of trying to figure out what makes the hipster tick.
This is part of a new course being taught by NECN’s guest, Professor Jackie O’Dell. O’Dell said that to a certain extent, the students will be creating the content of the course.
“They’ll be creating an archive of texts or videos or films or songs that they think count as hipster texts,” O’Dell said. “It’s a little bit more about popular culture, so they’ll be thinking about themselves, but more than that, they’ll be thinking about the history of the term, in what contexts do people get call hipsters, who calls them that, and what are the social conditions or the kinds of popular culture questions that raise the identity of the hipster.”
EXP-0005-F: Demystifying the Hipster
1.0 credit, Letter Grading
The hipster is a devisive cultural figure that elicits both envy and outrage, and some argue that it has run its course—but what exactly is (or was) the hipster? Are hipsters part of a counter-culture, or are they just another marketing niche in the mainstream? How can we tell the difference?
In this course, students will interrogate contemporary writing—both academic and popular—that claims to define the hipster, examining these arguments alongside exemplary cultural texts that have warranted the hipster label. We will focus on film, fiction, fashion, and music (among other genres and media) produced in the last twenty years, connecting these contemporary examples to a longer history of the hipster that dates back to Norman Mailer’s seminal 1957 essay, “The White Negro: Superficial Reflections on the Hipster.” Over the course of the semester, students will develop their own canon of hipster art. Students will become critics and sociologists of today’s hipster culture as they explore how hipster identity reflects larger cultural anxiety.
Demystifying the Hipster? Are they even mystified in the first place? Seriously how hard are hipsters to understand. Take the L to Williamsburg and look for the guys in Warby Parker glasses and skinny jeans rolled up to their kneecaps playing a modified ukelele on a park bench. Hop a flight to Portland and check out the chick in the vintage dress and bangs cut straight across her face eating Kale chips and smoking Parliaments giving a passionate speech to her friends about blind consumerism before riding off on her fixed gear bicycle. Head over to Wicker Park and observe the people reading On The Road while listening to Grizzly Bear on their restored Walkman and frequently updating their blogspot page about their dreams of one day living off only what they independently farmed on their rooftop. Boom, demystified. Easiest class ever. Slap an A+ on my paper (100% biodegradable and recyclable please) so I can stick it in my Herschel backpack and go celebrate with some PBR tall boys…no not because it tastes good, because it’s so bad that it’s ironic I’m drinking it.
After serving up the ultimate hotness in “Long Time,” Bronson’s back, tripping out and getting on his SAMCRO grind in the new video for “Easy Rider.”
Neil Everett Takes A Dump On ESPN’s Chest During Sportscenter For Covering Johnny Manziel And Braxton Miller More Than The Death Of Jason Bitsko
Wonder how long the suspension will be? 4 years? Conservative estimate. All I know is if Bill Simmons gets week suspensions for bad mouthing the network, I’m pretty sure one of the handful of rotating anchors doing it gets black bagged and shipped to Mexico City to do ESPN Deportes on the Ocho for the rest of their career. Either way, takes a big set of balls to pull something like this considering the iron fisted regime he works for. I mean you can literally feel the venom behind that “Buckeyes.” Neil has had it up to fucking here with Johnny Clipboard coverage.
RIP Jason Bitsko.
PS – I’m the first one to take shots at ESPN when it’s warranted but I don’t think covering one of the best college football teams in the country losing their starting quarterback for the year a week before the season starts is that out of line.
(video via Cork Gaines)