Introducing Rachael from Cal Lutheran. Yup that’ll do.
Introducing Rachael from Cal Lutheran. Yup that’ll do.
So the context here is that this lady Janet has never received a dick pic so her friends thought it’d be funny to just sit her down and treat her to a parade of them. Sometimes friendship is lending a thoughtful ear, sometimes it’s splitting a bottle of wine when life gets you down, and sometimes it’s compiling several dozen cock pics of all shapes and colors for the good of education. I bet Urban Outfitters will be selling women’s wall art to that effect by the time you finish reading this blog.
That’s the thing women like this Jezebel blogger whose “Should You Send A Dick Pic?” article only features spins on “No” answers just don’t get. The photo itself is going down in flames 99% of the time when it’s coming unsolicited, without question. But it’s an important life experience every woman should get at least once. Even if it’s a “gerbil dick” like that one dude (pouring one out for you right now, buddy), she deserves the simple respect of getting that picture served up for her to judge. Poor Janet here could have gone her whole life without this rite of passage into womanhood. Might as well not get her period or make a wildly unfunny objectification of Ryan Gosling on social media. It’s just a basic female dignity I think all women should be entitled to, sorry for being such a feminist.
Statik Selektah grabs Ab-Soul, Jon Connor & Logic, for his new supersuper smooth single “Alarm Clock,” while G-Eazy teams up with the Kardashian Coke Boy himself for his new free track, “Stay.”
For more new hip-hop from Bishop Nehru, Azealia Banks and bunch of other people, check out today’s Dose of Dopeness.
PS- If you missed the Best Rap Songs of 2014 countdown you need to get on that ASAP
Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool? Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll feature it some point during the week.
Our college Stoolies begged for shirts, we gave em shirts. Introducing the Barstool Sports Game Day collection. Three button polos. High quality as fuck. The perfect tailgate outfit. All the exact colors of each college. We’re starting off our first round with the SEC because…let’s face it, it’s the obvious move. But if other schools want these email us at email@example.com. If your frat or school wants them we can add them overnight, boom, done.
All shirts are up for pre-order now. You won’t be charged until we hit a certain amount, then when we do we’ll print em out and ship em out so they’ll be on your doorstep right in the heart of tailgate season. Grab one for your school at crowd.barstoolsports.com or click the tab on the Barstool store titled “Game Day.”
DM - The best steak restaurants pride themselves on their ovens. They are far hotter that the average home setup – but for one British chef they still weren’t enough. Sam Bompas travelled to Syracuse University in upstate New York to attempt to cook using Lava created by an ‘artificial volcano’.
Professor Robert Wysocki and his team at Syracuse University in upstate New York have customised a 3 million BTU bronze furnace bought used in Canada for $2500.
To create lava, they start with Dresser Trap Rock and use the furnace, described as ‘like a crock pot’ to melt it. It takes about 60 hours to melt and degas approx. 800lbs of lava, which creates a flow lasting 7-9 minutes. The team has done 100 lava pours so far, for artistic and scientific purposes, but had never actually used the lava’s 2,700°F heat to cook before.
‘I’ve always been obsessed with volcanoes, and had a dream of being able to cook with lava,’ he told Mailonline.
‘We wanted to find a way to cook with it, and heard about Professor Robert Wysocki, who has spent five years working to perfect a technique to make lava in this furnace.’
Bompas got in touch with Wysocki at Syracuse University in upstate New York, and he instantly agreed to help them. The researchers created an artificial flow of Lava for the team to cook on.
Although it was the first time steak has been cooked on lava, the results mean that the chef hopes it won’t be the last – and says cooking over lava could be the ultimate way to prepare steak.
‘When you cook on a barbecue you get a lot of smoke. ‘Because lava is pure heat, you get meat sealed v quickly, and with a very even char.’
BAD. ASS. What’s the only thing more manly than cooking meat over an open flame? Cooking meat over a motherfucking VOLCANO. Seriously I dare you to show me something that will put hair on your chest faster than cooking steaks and chicken on this:
You can’t. Need a lava grill and need it now. Volcano burgers at kmarko’s place this weekend, you’re all invited.
PS – 2 worst parts about living in NYC, 1) not having a car/having to use public transportation like a poor person and 2) not having a grill. Wait I forgot paying a fortune to live in a shoebox. That’s prob 1A.
Lettermen - Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury went on ESPN’s “Highly Questionable” Wednesday to talk about pretty much everything except football. Dan Le Batard and Bomani Jones were able to squeeze in one or two questions about football in the five-minute interview, but it was mostly par for the course as these things go. Here are some highlights:
On being mistaken for Ryan Gosling: “I’ll take that one. You get an A-list celebrity you take that compliment.”
On filming The Notebook: “Stay focused. Stay within the script. Not getting carried away with the emotion.”
On his “game” compared to Johnny Manziel’s: “I would hope I’ve had a lot more practice than him.”
On being too sexy: “I just try to be myself. Dress like I want to dress, act like I want to act. As long as you’re winning games the rest will take care of itself.”
On hitting on married moms: “It can get weird. I stop at that point. You just have fun, it’s obviously not going anywhere.”
On his wildest interaction with a female fan: “That would be signing some cleavage.”
At this point I honestly feel like it’s just a matter of time before we find out Kliff Kingsbury like killed a hooker and dumped her in a trash can in Lubbock last year. That he’s a serial killer by night that shoots stray cats in the head and feeds them to ATM machines. That he’s got a dungeon full of dead bodies and skin suits or something. I mean there’s just no way somebody can be this perfect. This cool, calm, collected, funny. This much of a stud. No I don’t want to date him. I just want to be him.
Sidenote, I wonder what you do when you’re a recruit and you wake up and head downstairs in the morning and Kliff is sitting shirtless at your table drinking milk out of the carton while your mom cooks eggs wearing his Tech T-shirt from the day before. Do you get mad or do you sign immediately?
(skip to 1:15 for the relevant part)
Love what you do and you’ll never work a day in your life:
The buzz on the street is that new Cowboys TE coach Mike Pope uses some unconventional methods to keep his players’ heads in the game. And, according to an interview on the Cowboys’ website, the whole thing is about learning how to catch a ball while avoiding distractions. Star TE Jason Witten claims there’s a “method to the madness” and that it’d be silly to question him given that he’s an all-time great tight ends coach. And you know what? You can’t question results like these that Pope got out of Brandon Myers and Bear Pascoe on the Giants last year:
Neither guy is on the Giants any more so they probably just couldn’t adapt to the Sanduskian genius at play here. The NFC East better watch out because the Cowboys are going to be all soft hands and hard nips this season.
If nothing else, I’m cautiously optimistic that the end game here is this being the Cowboys’ 2015 tight end depth chart: