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ESPN’s Shannon Spake Asks Alabama Basketball Coach Why His Team Can’t Hold On To The Football
Jan 283:00PM EST


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In Shannon Spake’s defense, this is Alabama we’re talking about.  Absolutely nobody there gives a fuck about basketball, probably not even the basketball team.



Harvey can I get an amen Harvey.


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American Sniper + Marshawn Lynch = The Hottest Take On The Internet
Jan 282:34PM EST





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People are always asking me hey Kmarko, why do you only have 40K followers on Twitter?  Well here’s your reason.  A complete inability to come up with takes this hot.  Just not creative or internet savvy enough to be the first to these kind of opinions.  Think about it, what are the two hottest topics on the internet right now?  American Sniper and Marshawn Lynch.  Take em, put em in a blender, press puree and boom, pour out a hot take smoothie.



PS – I don’t want to step on Joseph’s toes now that he’s becoming internet famous but if I were to make a quick point it would probably be to say that what Marshawn is doing is, literally, by its very definition, free speech.  But that’s none of my business.




Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Andrea from Miami vs. Taylor from Cal State Long Beach
Jan 282:20PM EST

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Andrea from Miami


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Taylor from Cal State Long Beach 


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1 for Andrea…5 for Taylor


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (158 votes, average: 3.47 out of 5)
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Michigan Students And I Take The Harbaugh Breakfast Challenge Aka Cereal With Gatorade
Jan 281:50PM EST



So last week Big Cat blogged about Jim Harbaugh eating his cereal with Gatorade.  Preposterous move but you’d expect nothing less from a guy like Harbaugh.  Anyways I was waiting all week for Pres to try it but he’s too busy asking to murder people for Bill Belichick so I took it upon myself and made a bowl.  Not great, not terrible.  Kind of like my blogs.  And yeah I know I’m an idiot and had it filmed vertically.  I’d literally never made a video for YouTube before in my life.  I’m not Jenna Marbles over here.  Yet.



Death Cab for Cutie – Black Sun
Jan 281:10PM EST

Death Cab for Cutie returns from the dead with a brand new single and release announcement, giving us the laid back, electronic-tinged “Black Sun” off the upcoming album Kintsugi, set to hit shevles March 31.  I honestly don’t know much Death Cab besides “You Are A Tourist,” but I know people love them and this song is pretty damn good so I figured I’d blog it.

This Dude Might Have Just Had The Worst First Tinder Conversation Ever
Jan 2812:20PM EST







This convo was posted on Reddit’s r/tinder by someone who claims it’s their first Tinder conversation and hooooly shit I can’t imagine it being any worse all around. With the first screenshot I was like “Hah good one” and then after that I guess he was serious? And if so how lame are you dude? Like yeah maybe it’s not “attractive” for a potential Tinder chick to be hanging around watching pubescent technically illegal gay sex but it’s a million times worse to be this sanctimonious about it all. She may not always be aiding and abetting 14-year-olds getting fucked in the butt by adult men but you’ll always be a squid for making such a big deal out of it.


Also for the record as the Tinder expert round these parts, I should inform you that proper etiquette is to not link to consensual sex law articles in a Tinder message unless it’s specifically requested. Sometimes people forget that.



PS hangs out and watches gay dudes have statutory rape sex = definitely does anal.

UK and Eastern Kentucky Football Players Get In Massive Bar Fight…Lineman Takes Beer Bottle To The Face
Jan 2811:45AM EST

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Lex18 -

An Eastern Kentucky University football player was badly injured over the weekend in a fight at a bar in Madison County.

The incident happened around 1:00 a.m. Sunday inside of JerZees in Richmond.  The owner of JerZees told LEX 18′s Josh Breslow that Colton Scurry, a 20-year-old EKU offensive lineman was “roughed up pretty good.”

“My boyfriend’s a bouncer there,” Alex Carpenter, an EKU student told LEX 18. “He just said that it was 3 UK players who jumped one of our Eastern football players. And they broke a bottle over his face. They had to take him to the hospital. He had to get some stitches in his face.”

Colton Scurry tweeted Monday night: “The two most important days in your life is the day you were born and the day you find out why, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”


Courier Journal -

Jeff Scurry, Colton’s dad, was reluctant to discuss the incident that caused his son’s injuries, but two EKU students who described the scene at Jerzees in Richmond said Scurry was the aggressor in the bar fight that they allege involved three University of Kentucky football players: Drew Barker, Dorian Baker and Tymere Dubose.

“We were in the back part of Jerzees,” said Will Ruholt, a friend of Barker’s from Conner High School. “A couple people started talking (abusively) and things started to get a little heated. Colton Scurry is the one who started the entire fight. He pushed me. Multiple people can verify that.”

Zach Littleton, an EKU sophomore who said he accompanied the UK players, also described Scurry as the instigator.

“I was actually pretty sober and I was watching everything that was going down,” Littleton said. “Basically what happened was a bunch of UK football players come in and all you hear is, ‘This is my neighborhood. What are you doing here?’

“I know if there’s any video, you’ll see I’m trying to defuse the situation. I was getting between them and saying, ‘Calm down. Calm down.’ (But) As soon as (Scurry) pushed Will, it was just a big mess. From what I saw, it wasn’t just Colton. I saw a bunch of people swinging for no reason.”




Ok well I know I always talk about how awesome college football rivalries and how the intense over the top passion of the fans is what makes it great, but here’s where the line comes in.  When you can’t step foot in the same bar together for 5 seconds without somebody ending up with a broken bottle shoved through their skull.  Like crazy fans covered in body paint, offensive signs, pranks, maybe some pushing and shoving at a tailgate, that’s all well and good.  Perfectly in bounds.  But fights with a player ending up laid up in the hospital with shards of Bud Light bottles in his eyeball is just stupid.  It’s Eastern Kentucky vs Kentucky football here guys, not the end of the world if somebody wants to grab a drink at the bar you’re at.

2 Chainz Running For Mayor Of College Park, Georgia
Jan 2811:15AM EST

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COLLEGE PARK, Ga. Could 2 Chainz be adding the title “mayor” to his resume?

According to a recent interview with XXL Magazine, 2 Chainz, whose real name is Tauheed Epps, announced a possible future in running for mayor of his hometown, College Park.

With a 4.0 GPA from Alabama State University and proven debating skills after his appearance that sparked media attention two weeks ago on HLN’s “Nancy Grace” in regards to the legalization of marijuana, he has a strong chance of being a future politician.

“I’m supposed to be running for mayor in College Park. I got everybody wishing. I’m really gonna do this little mayor thing in College Park,” 2 Chainz told XXL. “I’m just trying to make sure I have the right qualifications.”

Even though his supporters are rooting him on, 2 Chainz wants to make sure everything he does is organic and wants to see what the future holds.



Everybody kind of laughs this off because he’s a rapper who wears an absurd amount of jewelry and raps lines like “Me and my nigga pass your ho like a hot potato/I be like, ‘You could get her,’ he be like, ‘You could get her’/I be like, ‘You could have her,’ he be like, ‘You could have her’/He be like, ‘It don’t matter,’ I be like, ‘Me neither’.”    But like…why not?  Why not 2 Chainz for mayor of College Park?


4.0 GPA, college graduate, sensible stance on marijuana.





I mean what else do you need?  What could possibly be the downside, that he’d fuck up in office and act unprofessional?  Yeah because nobody does that in politics.  The next mayor that doesn’t cheat on his wife or get arrested for bribery or sued for corruption or something will be the first.  Rather have a guy eating lobster tail and spraying champagne over big booty bitches twerking on mahogany desks at Town Hall than some fake ass phony who acts like he means well while being corrupt as fuck.


A vote for 2 Chainz is a vote for the future.  Plus what’s the worst thing that happens, he loses?  Doesn’t get enough signatures?  Everybody forgets about that like the next morning and you move on.



This Woman Who Was Arrested And Then Stole A Cop Car And Led Police On A Ten Mile Chase While Handcuffed Is Cut From A Different Cloth
Jan 2810:45AM EST

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Daily Mail - A woman has been ordered to stand trial on charges she stole a police cruiser and led officers on an 80 mph chase – all while her hands were cuffed behind her.  Center Township police testified at Roxanne Rimer’s preliminary hearing Monday that she was arrested after stealing earrings from a Kohl’s store January 14. Police testified that a loss prevention officer detained the 27-year-old Rimer, who apparently gave a fake name and claimed to be a juvenile. Before police could arrive, Rimer ran away and jumped into a car driven by her grandfather, police said. 

That car was pulled over moments later, and Rimer was removed, handcuffed and placed in the back seat of a police cruiser, screaming, ‘Mommy! Mommy!’ authorities said.

 Police don’t believe the grandfather knew of the shoplifting allegation.  Officers say while police were searching her grandfather’s car, the thin Chippewa Township woman squeezed through an opening in a partition in the cruiser that wasn’t latched and crawled into the front seat.  She zoomed off, smashing into her grandfather’s car as she drove away, still handcuffed, police said.  Rimer then led officers on a nearly 10-mile chase, weaving in and out of traffic, before she crashed into a hillside and jumped out of the car, police said.



What a stone cold gangster this chick is.  Reminds me of that scene in Catch Me If You Can when Frank Abagnale escapes from the taxiing plane when the feds think they have him cornered.  Not so fast, my friends.  Where there’s a will there’s a way and this girl is all will.  Sucks that she got caught and was screaming for her mommy but one thing is for certain, this is a bad bitch right down to the bone.  Went out guns blazing and that’s all you can really ask for in this world.



P.S. – To be perfectly honest this girl being able to steal a cop car while handcuffed kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  If I’m putting a girl in handcuffs I’m expecting to have my way with her.  Don’t need her rolling out of bed and stealing my car.  Come on, read 50 Shades Of Grey for me once lady, just once.

Blonde Reportedly Turns The Oregon State University Library Into An Amateur Porn Shoot
Jan 2810:00AM EST

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PornHub (NSFW) 




Ahhh chicks turning their college libraries into amateur webcam shows, a tale as old as…well, at least the past few years.  It’s happened at least a handful of times the past couple of years.  And every time it’s awesome!  Can’t even imagine how sweet it is for the campus,  nothing better than scrolling through your favorite porn site late night and stumbling on the super cute shy girl from the back of Poli Sci getting all freaky naughty.   Yeah I know there’s no proof she’s actually a student there but like, that’s your library, that’s a college-aged chick, put two and two together combined with your imagination and college life is good.  So good.



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[via TFM]