September 15, 2014 - September 21, 2014
When the Ice Bucket Challenges were going nuts, a lot of hot chicks tried to one-up each other by going tits out for the boys while filming theirs. And then came Micaela Schaefer beasting them all by doing an all-nude one and one with just black tape on her naughty bits to shove all those other chicks to the back of the line. She’s one of those relentlessly fame whoring types who, legitimately, is only famous because she’s hot and puts those things out there at every turn.
So of course she’d go hard in the paint for the first days of Oktoberfest in Germany, just making every other chick in a dirndl look like an absolute joke for covering their ample Hefeweizen-bred jugs with those constricting fabrics. I’m not sure how great of an idea it is to walk around like that at an event in which people are traipsing around with a keg’s worth of 10% ABV beer shoved into a glass but I’m not the expert dropping titties in everyone’s faces on the reg so what do I know?
Micaela doesn’t have a whole lot of photos out there that won’t get us sued so here’s a video of her shooting her 2015 Erotic Calendar (or Erotikkalender in German, I guess…what models of efficiency they are) to tide you over. Culture!
With the Barstool Beats app out for download and flying off the shelves, we’ve had a minute to go back to what we do best, making the most perfect playlists on the planet. As per usual, you’re welcome.
ESPN - Texas Tech fired defensive coordinator Matt Wallerstedt after the coach was suspected of being under the influence of an unknown substance while on campus, sources told ESPN.com on Thursday.
Wallerstedt was sent home from the facility Monday, according to a source.
The Red Raiders surrendered 438 rushing yards in a 49-28 loss to Arkansas last weekend, but the team’s on-the-field performance was not related to Wallerstedt’s dismissal, sources said.
Wallerstedt joined the Texas Tech staff last season, coming over from Texas A&M along with head coach Kliff Kingsbury.
He is expected to be replaced by co-defensive coordinator and linebackers coach Mike Smith, who played for the Red Raiders and graduated from Texas Tech in 2004.
Hey Wallerstedt…ya done. Pack your shit. Grab your bags. Here’s a bus pass. Don’t come back. Seriously what do you think this is dude? Your own personal rave party? You think this is some night club where you come all fucked up and stoned and shit and just putz around? This is a football team full of student-athletes. This is a group of men with a mindset on winning and only winning. Just because the head coach looks like a rock star/A list celebrity/male model doesn’t mean he runs his ship like one. No room for bad influences. No room for drug or alcohol abusers. Get that Mickey Mouse bullshit out of here, we’re focused on getting back on track around here, don’t need your drunk ass bringing us down.
Oh, and, you blow at coaching defense. Thanks for giving us the easy excuse.
Lets do a quick throwback Thursday to how awesome Toad’s was
And now let’s get ready to take over Worcester and Hartford:
This is gearing up to be the best tour we have ever had. After having an amazing Blackout in both Providence and Quinnipiac we’re moving into the best part of our tour. Worcester and Hartford we know you all love to Blackout and we know you have some amazing smokes. Let’s see what you can bring. These will sell out so get your tickets while you still can.
Barstool Blackout: Worcester – The Palladium – Friday October 24th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW )
Barstool Blackout: Hartford – Webster Theatre – Saturday October 25th – BUY TICKETS (Tickets on sale NOW)
(Drunkest Guy Ever – first video I thought of when seeing this headline)
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A Cumberland man has been charged with drunken driving four times in just a day and a half. John Lourenco, 53, was arrested once in Providence on Sunday and three times in Cumberland on Monday – smashing three of his vehicles in collisions with other cars and a tree.
For the first three arrests, Lourenco was released with summonses to the custody of his parents, until he was finally held for arraignment at District Court on Tuesday. At one point, a breathlyzer clocked him at nearly three times the legal limit for alcohol.
Cumberland Police Capt. Douglas Ciullo said he’d never seen anything a streak like this before — and hoped he never saw it again.
Have a day (and a half) Johnny! Have a day! Four DUIs in 36 hours you say? All I hear is “I party harder and longer than you.” Let’s take a peek at the day and a half whirlwind…
Lourenco’s travels began mid-morning Sunday in Providence, where his Dodge pickup crashed into a Pawtucket family’s SUV and injured two small children. A 4-year-old boy and 6-year-old girl riding in the SUV’s backseat were treated at Hasbro Children’s Hospital and released.
Lourenco was treated at Rhode Island Hospital, where he was put in restraints after threatening an officer and tossing a bottle filled with urine at staff, according to police. Then, he was released with a summons for driving under the influence.
Ok that’s kind of a rough start. Injuring 2 young children while being a scumbag drunk driver. Then throwing a bottle full of piss at the hospital staff trying to treat you. Couple of really low class moves right there. Lot of guilt weighing on his conscience, only one answer, got to drink it off.
Lourenco returned home to Cumberland, where, police say, he began Monday morning with a crash. Lourenco was arrested at 7 a.m. after crashing a Chevy sedan into another car on Mendon Road; he submitted to a breathlyzer, which found his blood-alcohol content at .220. (The legal limit is .08). He was charged with drunk driving and released to his parents.
Ok anyone can get one DUI, and it’s tough to just stop cold turkey when you’re in the middle of a booze binge. Kind of understandable this guy would have the bad luck of getting popped twice so soon. .220 BAC will make you do some stupid shit.
He was arrested again at 11 a.m. when an officer saw him driving an old Plymouth Barracuda erratically on Tower Hill Road. Lourenco was taken to Landmark Hospital, submitted to a blood test and was released to the hospital’s custody.
Hmm starting to sense a theme here. Hey cops maybe hold on to the guy for a little bit and stop putting him right back out on the street behind the wheel?
Lourenco left the hospial and started driving his dump truck. At 5 p.m., he crashed it into a tree at Wrentham and Jencks roads, Ciullo said. Lourenco was returned to the hospital, where he submitted to another blood test and was held for court.
Ok John enough! Stop man! Once you find yourself drunk driving a dump truck around post-3 arrests straight into the trunk of a tree you know it’s time to maybe seek some professional help. Or at least get a fucking drinking buddy dude.
PS – Being a 53 year old man released to the custody of your parents is honestly the most humiliating thing I’ve ever heard.
After a huge week of sign ups last week we had no choice but to run it back…yup, DraftKings giving you another shot at $1 MILLION in guaranteed cash prizes with this weeks NFL contest. First place gets $100K. Not a bad chunk of change. And yes, as a matter of fact, your boy kmarko DID place in the money once again last week. 2 for 2.
Cha chingggg. Slowly building that bankroll, coming for that hunned thousand this week.
Contest Details, Week 3:
- The NFL Week 3 Sunday Million
- -Another shot at $1,000,000 in Guaranteed prizes
- -$100,000 to first place, top 8,500 scores paid out
- -$27 entry fee, 42,000 total entries
ACC - If you’re reading this blog, you probably already know about Florida State’s ball boy celebrity, Red Lightning.
Well, it took him only a week this season to get some competition as the most famous ball boy in college football. His rival — at least we’d like to think they’re rivals — is from the team the Seminoles beat in last year’s national title game, Auburn. In the season opener, Jake Longenecker (aka “Blue Thunder”) showed off his blazing speed and inspired Sport Science to compare his quickness to Red Lightning.
Love the “nudge force” for Red Lightning, such a fucking hardo.
Just waiting for the day he flat out fights an opposing player, throwing haymakers against his helmet and kicking him in the shins and shit. Meanwhile Blue Thunder is more of an off camera, behind the scenes type guy. Just casually does his job fetching loose balls and keeping them dry then every so often busting out a 3.6 40 down the sideline. Red Lightning could learn a thing or two about humility from that Auburn ball boy.