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Josh Gordon Is Appealing His Pot Suspension By Claiming It Was All Second-Hand Smoke
Jul 295:50PM EST

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The Big Lead – Josh Gordon, facing a one-year suspension, has his appeal hearing set for Friday. According to Pro Football Talk, the appeal will focus on the difference between the “A” and “B” samples, while ESPN also adds that the legal team plans to make an argument that it is the result of second hand smoke.

The discrepancy between Gordon’s “A” and “B” samples is slight. The “A” sample was slightly above the cutoff. The “B” sample was slightly below. But, the NFL’s Drug Policy only requires enough to confirm the presence to the “limits of detection.” With the A sample being over the threshold, the discrepancy, in and of itself, is not grounds enough to reverse.

An expert will likely be brought in to say that the NFL standard allows for tests to register as positive based on second hand smoke. Then, they could point to the previous passed tests and the B sample to further bolster a second hand smoke argument. That at least gives Gordon a fighting chance.


I’m 100% behind Josh Gordon on this one. First reason, which I mentioned on Twitter last night, is that I’m pretty sure I’m the only regular pot smoker on the Barstool staff and, based on the bylaws of being a member of the National Association of Publicly Annoying Stoners, means I have to advocate for any and all uses of pot including but not limited to the recreational, medicinal, and knocking myself into a coma to mentally flee from the monotony of work-a-day life while simultaneously greatly improving the quality of shows like Rick and Morty.


Given all of that, I’m obviously going to fully support Josh Gordon. But my main reason for supporting him is that he loves pot, probably smokes it all the time, and if he’s able to things like this…


…while stoned, he may be one of the greatest American athletes in history. He missed two games last year for another pot suspension and still led the NFL in receiving yards by over 150 yards and he did it with guys like Brian Hoyer and Brandon Weeden throwing to him. Do you have any idea how insanely hard that is at your absolute peak sobriety? At my last job I tried blogging high one day and I could barely put a coherent thought on paper, let alone a fully formed blog of any sort. If you tried to have me do anything vaguely athletic, there’s a 40% chance I’d have spontaneously combusted.


Meanwhile Josh Gordon is out there dominating everyone, including his peers likely using far more potent substances that enhance athletic performance, and we’re going to suspend him for a season? At the minimum, he should be lauded. In a perfect world, he’d be allowed to score like an autistic kid in one of those feel good high school videos once a game just to even out the inherent challenges of getting way too high and pounding every carbohydrate in a 7-Eleven. It’s a tragedy that there’s even a chance of losing the opportunity to watch him play this year.


Use whatever defense you can, Josh. If Cleveland can get LeBron back, they can win this by pretending that Josh Gordon’s pores just suck up all the marijuana smoke in a three-state radius. I believe.

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Mikayla from SDSU
Jul 295:30PM EST



Introducing Mikayla from SDSU.  San Diego State is literally just a paradise for smokes to live I think.

New App Trying To Stop Sexting Would Only Work On People Who Will Never Have Sex
Jul 294:50PM EST

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The Daily Dot – One survey concludes that one in four teenagers has admitted to sending or receiving a sexually explicit text at some point in their lives.

With this statistic and the teenage proclivity toward ephemeral messaging in mind, the Child Exploitation Unit of the Ontario Provincial Police has created a fun and hip app to try to deter the youth of Canada from sexting. It’s called Send This Instead, and basically it’s like the police department’s version of McGruff the Crime Dog, except instead of trying to persuade you not to take a bite out of crime, it wants you to not send people pictures of your privates.

According to a press release from the Ontario Provincial Police, Send This Instead is a free app that provides a “novel and witty way to say ‘No!’” to sexting. Here’s how it works: If you receive a text requesting a naughty photo, you can use Send This Instead to respond with “digital posters of humorous and sarcastic retorts” in lieu of nude photos.


Vintage Canadian move. Need to ruin one of technology’s most fun innovations in the lamest way possible? Get Canada on the horn, they’ll bang something out real fast. The app also ignores the basic fact that no one who would use this would ever actually send a nude photo. You think the hot sorority girls of the University of Guelph (that’s a Canadian school right? I feel like it is. Also Canada has sororities right? I’m just realizing I know nothing about Canada) are browsing the App Store looking for funny ways to tell guys they’re not sending some OB-GYN candids? NO. They’re taking off their parka, slathering themselves in moose fat, and going to work like a good Canadian woman should. Most out of touch move by the Mounties since they thought they could come to this country and take the cherished monuments to Americanness that are the WWF tag team titles.


Of course, this wouldn’t be a Barstool investigative report without me downloading the Send This Instead app to peruse their selection of “humorous and sarcastic retorts” and, obviously, they deliver the comedy and social responsibility promised in spades.



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So tying up emergency lines is a lower level crime than asking a girl you’re dating for a flash of nip? Sorry person getting robbed outside Arby’s, Becky from Wayne Gretzky High has areolas like pizza trays and doesn’t feel comfortable sending nudes so she sent a picture saying he should talk to 911 instead. Our bad.


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You’re naked, cow, you get no say in this. Hypocrite cows trying to tell me what’s up, get that shit out of here.


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There’s a man from Nantucket who is rolling in his grave right now. Died of severe brain bleeding after trying to have stick his dick in his own ear. Tragic story.


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This one is just factually accurate and hurtful. Silly pictures are supposed to bring us together but they’re TEARING US APART.


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Where I come from eskimoing refers to two men ejaculating into the same woman and sharing a kinship based upon that. You’re sending a mixed message here, app.


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This is just a poor reflection on you, girls. If you’re putting yourself in a situation in which an entire family is asking you for nude photos, I’m comfortable saying it’s entirely your fault. Unless you’re just holding out until Grandpa figures out how to send dick pics from his 2003 Razr, in which case I salute you and your commitment to the old balls game.


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Boy, really pushing the jail angle, huh? Nothing says young teenage love quite like a girl implying that you deserve to lose your freedom because you like her and meekly requested a sexy photo. Is Canada having a Chinesesque problem with population control and they’re just trying to lock their young women into spinsterhood? Only way I’m buying this as a legitimate idea from anyone with a brain.


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You couldn’t even use your phone with this anti-virus software. Terrible business strategy.


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For an app focused on defending young women’s rights, they’re really coming in hot with the implication that any guy asking for sexts is going to go to jail and get violently raped. And frankly I doubt there are many men named “Happiness” in jail, let alone ones committing sexual assault. We call it research here in America, Canadians. Learn it.


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If some girl sent me any of these photos, I’d probably be more interested in hooking up with her dad anyway. At least he knows how to satisfy a man. Strong hands. Experience. Gee thanks, app, I started trying to get beav shots from a girl in my science class and now I’m gay. Way to go.



Now that we’ve established sexting and selfies and dating a Canadian girl are all terrible, here are some examples of selfies so you know what to avoid on your phone. Never have a girl send you one of these. Never. You’d regret it forever.


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Sander Van Doorn, Martin Garrix, DVBBS – Gold Skies (Elephante Remix)
Jul 294:20PM EST

As if “Gold Skies” wasn’t hot enough, Elephante goes and gives it the remix of the summer, transforming SanderVD, Garrix, and DVBB’s already gigantic smash hit into a progressive house masterpiece, complete with a dirty trap breakdown, huge glitchy builds, and some filthy bass on the hook.  Name an EDM producer who’s released more good music in the last year than Elephante.  You can’t.

Download “Gold Skies (Elephante Remix)” for free || Stream more Elephante

U of A Alpha Phi Enters The Battle For Arizona Sorority Supremacy
Jul 293:50PM EST








Arizona Alpha Phi





Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool?  Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to and we’ll feature it some point during the week. 








UofA Alpha Phi





Want to see your sorority repped on the Stool?  Send Tumblrs and Instagrams to and we’ll feature it some point during the week. 















































I Would Say Our Last Round Of Smokeshow Of The Day Shirts Hit A Good Crowd
Jul 293:30PM EST

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Not a bad looking group of girls.



PS – Think we need an updated gallery of Bianca or what?



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DraftKings 3 Day Survivor Qualifier…Win A Seat In The $3.3 Million Championship in Atlantis
Jul 293:15PM EST

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Feel like turning 27 bucks into a $54.5K value trip to Atlantis with a shot to win a cool $3 million?  Yeah?  Then the DraftKings Survivor qualifier tomorrow is probably your best bet.  Just select your team with a salary cap and hit enter.  Top 750 scores advance to day 2.  Pick a new lineup, top 150 scores advance.  Do it one more time and you now got a shot to head to Atlantis, or win some cash from the 75K prize pool.  Can’t hate on that.


Contest Details:

-3-Day Survivor Fantasy Baseball Championship Qualifier
-$75,000 Prize Pool
-$27 entry fee, 3150 total entries
-Day 1: Top 750 fantasy scores advance
-Day 2: Top 150 fantasy scores advance
-Top 150 paid out- if you make it to the final day you automatically win money
-First place wins an seat in the $3.3M Baseball Championship in Atlantis ($54,500 value)




Louisville Cheerleader Found Dead In Her Apartment…Kentucky Fan Handles It With Pure Class On Twitter
Jul 292:50PM EST


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USAA 22-year-old student at the University of Louisville was found dead in the Cardinal Towne apartment complex on the north edge of U of L’s campus on Monday morning, school officials confirmed Monday night.

Danielle Cogswell, a transfer student who grew up in Washington, was a cheerleader at U of L for a year. School officials said Louisville police are handling the investigation.



Might be the first time I’ve ever said this in my entire life but I think it’s safe to say a college rivalry finally went too far.  I mean Kentucky vs. Louisville is one of the greats.  Unreal stories and incredible blog material comes out of it every year.   This one comes to mind right off the bat:



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My all time favorite.

But a cheerleader being found dead in her dorm room hours after posting a selfie and seeming like everything was fine?  Kind of out of bounds for a little sports hate I would say.  Think you can put the bad blood on hold for at least a night and not tweet at a hashtag mourning a death trash talking.  Be better than that Alex Rah Rah.

Smokesmash Matchup from Hell – Siena from ASU vs. Toni Ann from SUNY Cortland
Jul 292:00PM EST

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Siena from ASU


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Toni Ann from SUNY


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1 for Siena…5 for Toni Ann


1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (340 votes, average: 2.82 out of 5)
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Coach Cal Spent $343K On Private Jets For Recruiting Last Year
Jul 291:30PM EST

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LEXINGTON, Ky.It seemed impossible that University of Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari could be in so many places in so little time.

During a frenzied stretch last week, Calipari was in Los Angeles watching incoming freshman Karl-Anthony Towns be honored at the ESPY Awards one day, then in Augusta, Ga., to see a new crop of recruits the next. When NBA superstar LeBron James showed up in Lexington to watch his son play in a basketball tournament, Calipari suddenly appeared there, too — but only for a couple of hours. He was back evaluating recruits at Peach Jam in Georgia the same night.

How does he do it? Apparently the “gold standard” at Kentucky that Calipari often talks about includes all but unfettered access to private jets. According to flight records obtained by The Courier-Journal, Calipari and football coach Mark Stoops combined to take $450,000 worth of chartered flights just for recruiting purposes during the 2013-14 fiscal year.  That doesn’t include their occasional commercial flights, boosters offering free use of jets in a pinch, hotels, car rentals or the almost exclusively commercial travel for their assistant coaches, who spent untold hours on the less-glamorous side of recruiting.

The Cats’ head coaches private-jet-setting is “really more out of necessity for us than it is a perk,” said deputy athletic director DeWayne Peevy, who noted that Calipari juggles recruiting nationally, which most programs cannot do, and being on campus to work with his current team.

The jet money comes out of the football and basketball programs’ recruiting budgets, although Calipari’s has to “maintain some flexibility,” given how wide a net he can cast in a given year. And he gets what he needs.

Calipari took $97,618.33 worth of chartered flights last July and had $102,590.23 in jet trips last September. During one three-day period, he flew from Lexington to Washington, D.C., to Milwaukee, Wis., back to D.C. to Dallas to Las Vegas and back to Lexington.

Calipari took a private jet far more often ($342,713.91 worth total in 2013-14) than Stoops, largely because the basketball program recruits from coast to coast.



Hey being the best recruiter in college basketball and getting the #1 class year after year doesn’t come cheap.  Say what you want about Cal but one thing you can never, ever say is that he doesn’t get the job done snagging top talent.  Flying cross country all day every day posted up in private planes picking and choosing which superstar 18 year old he wants to coach for one year then send to the lottery.  Not a bad gig.   Honestly surprised it isn’t more than 343K.  And I seriously doubt a single soul in Lexington has a problem with that figure.  Basically you bring the guy on board, hand him a blank check, turn your eyes away a little bit, pray he doesn’t get caught violating anything then watch as your program gets stronger and stronger.


Got to pay the cost to be the boss.