Smoke Smash Entry Form

*First Name:
*Last Name:
Last name is just to facebook girl for permission.
*Photo:
Upload File
*School: Facebook URL:

Woman Goes To Hospital Complaining About Stomach Pain…Doctors Find A Dildo Has Been Stuck In Her Vagina For 10 Years

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fwoman-goes-to-hospital-complaining-about-stomach-pain-doctors-find-a-dildo-has-been-stuck-in-her-vagina-for-10-years%2F
Jul 2410:18AM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 10.11.19 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 10.11.26 AM

 

 

Daily Mail - A Scottish woman walked around with a five-inch sex toy inside her for 10 years without realising, doctors have reported.

The 38-year-old woman arrived at hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking and lethargy. She had also experienced mild incontinence for ‘a few weeks’. On further examination, doctors were shocked to discover a strange foreign body protruding into her bladder from her vagina.

Surgical removal of the item at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary revealed it to be a five inch (11cm)-long sex toy.

Medical staff were even more taken back when the woman revealed she had used the sex toy with her partner ten years ago.

She also admitted she was under the influence of alcohol at the time – and claimed she couldn’t remember removing it or not.

The woman had a normal IQ, no signs of depression or psychosis and had not been subject to any abuse, according to the case report.

One doctor at the hospital, who was not willing to comment on the patient’s specific case, confirmed it was highly unusual for such a large foreign object to go unnoticed in the majority of instances – by patients or their partners.

 

 

Listen I’m admittedly not a vagina expert.  Don’t know a hell of a lot of how things work down there, what exactly is going on with all the parts, what different stuff feels like etc.  You’re not going to see me giving any lectures at vaginal health conferences is what I’m saying.  But I got to imagine that you don’t exactly need a PhD and a medical license to know that a 5 inch dildo stuck in your vagina protruding into your bladder is going to be something that you notice pretty immediately?  I mean I get that you were drunk.  Blacked the hell out it seems like.  We’ve all been there.  Maybe you wake up in the morning and it takes a few sleepy minutes before you realize you left a vibrator in your pussy.   But TEN FUCKING YEARS?  10 years of weight loss and incontinence and the shakes before you head to the doctor and realize there’s a motherfucking sex toy inside of you?  Jesus lady, get your masturbation game together.  Shit is getting embarrassing/life threatening.

 

 

PS- Just a hunch but for any future sex partners with this lady,  I think we’re redefining the term “hot dog down a hallway” right here.

Three Ford Mustangs Try To Drift, Each Ruins Their Car While Failing Miserably

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthree-ford-mustangs-try-to-drift-each-ruins-their-car-while-failing-miserably%2F
Jul 2410:00AM EST

 

I’m an absolute sucker for videos like this. People showing off and embarrassing themselves in the process is just amazing theater, especially when they’re ruining or at least severely damaging prized possessions in the process. What were the requirements for entering this festival of mediocrity, you just had to own a Mustang and maybe seen one of the Fast and the Furious movies or just possessed an overall vague knowledge of Lil Bow Wow albums? My drifting skils may extend only to getting a moderate speed boost in Mario Kart (Bowser erryday, bad boy life don’t know no quit) but I’m pretty sure you could put me in one of these chariots and I’d have at least as good of a showing, though admittedly the bar for success is limbo champion low.

 

The red Mustang’s terrible drift was great since he lost a chunk of his car and had a random black dude shouting “He too old! He too old!” as his professional analysis of why things went wrong (and obviously I would fully support this man becoming a color commentator to every sporting event and big moment in my life that’s ever going to occur). But I’m partial to the last black Mustang because seriously what the fuck happened here:

 

nice-drift-bro

 

 

Some say this car drifted its way into the ocean. Others say it continues to ride the streets, traveling through the west like David Carradine in Kung Fu, moving from town to town to help locals with their problems before continuing to run from the law — and itself.

 

mustang-die

Mrs. Johnny Football Colleen Crowley Shotgunning The Shit Out Of Beers

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmrs-johnny-football-colleen-crowley-shotgunning-the-shit-out-of-beers%2F
Jul 249:30AM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 8.52.46 AM

 


Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.01.10 AM

 

 

 

 

Welcome to internet superstardom Mrs. Football.  This is how it works.  You date the legend, people tear through all your social media and analyze the shit out of it.  Not gonna lie, this is a pretty good one to get out there up front.  Just chillin on a beach shotgunning beers like a boss.  Makes you look cool and casual.  Hot as shit but still down to Earth and ready to party at a moment’s notice.  Killer combination.  Not a half bad job with those brews either.  You know, for a girl.

 

 

 

PS – If you watch the Rundowns every day you’ve heard Pres mention that the Crowley sisters are Barstool smokeshow legends.  Not sure if readers from 4 years ago remember but her older sister Robyn was the runner up in the first ever Smokeshow Madness.  Robyn from A&M.   If I remember correctly she was actually less than 100 votes away from upsetting our girl Kacie…

 

 

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.03.00 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.09.02 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.09.18 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.04.04 AM Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.05.41 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.04.12 AM

Screen Shot 2014-07-24 at 9.05.14 AM

 

 

Oh and she also shotguns.

 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Emily from Indiana

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-smokeshow-of-the-day-emily-from-indiana%2F
Jul 249:00AM EST

 

 

Introducing Emily from Indiana.  God I love Hoosier girls.

Barstool Beats Top 10

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-beats-top-10-8%2F
Jul 239:35PM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 6.11.40 PM

 

Click here to stream Barstool Beats Top 10

PND FTW!  App coming soon.

Click here to stream Barstool Beats Top 10

Motorcyclist Interviewed About Crashes, Immediately Gets Obliterated By Another Motorcycle While Riding Away

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fmotorcyclist-interviewed-about-crashes-immediately-gets-obliterated-by-another-motrocycle-while-riding-away%2F
Jul 238:15PM EST

 

Liveleak – “There’s been a lot of accidents here and I’m gonna work nearby this whole week, so I’m scared”, he said before taking off and crashing onto another motorcyclist. Both of them walked away with just a few scratches and did not want to be interviewed again.

 

You can definitely question this news station’s adequacy in selecting subjects for interviews about motorcycle safety but you’ve got to admire their dedication to reporting. Very gracious of them asking to interview the guy again right after he just got destroyed on camera. Hmm we could call an ambulance, maybe offer the guy a nice green tea to help calm his nerves after he almost died orrrrrr we could wipe down the spinal fluid leaking out of his ear and try to get another 10 seconds of footage in the hopes of going viral on Brazilian YouTube. Easy call. Why go get a degree from Northwestern when you’ve got Journalism 101 captured in video for free?

 

motorcycles-are-safe

 

 

When something like that happens to you, do you even try to pick up the shattered pieces of your motorcycle or just call the cops and let them sort it out? Granted it’s Brazil so that bike was the equivalent of his 401K, life insurance, and a 30-year fixed rate mortgage rolled into one; he definitely went and grabbed every last shard of rice burner off the ground in the hopes his buddy Leonardåö could fix it up for some flank steak on a sword and a handy from a possible tranny.*

 

*Given that those two things and the World Cup are all I know of Brazil, I assume at least one of them has to be their national currency.

This Might Be The Most Brilliant Plan To Sell Alcohol To Minors Anyone Has Ever Hatched

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fthis-might-be-the-most-brilliant-plan-to-sell-alcohol-to-minors-anyone-has-ever-hatched%2F
Jul 237:00PM EST

 

I’m not a regular watcher of this Nathan For You show but whenever anyone sends me a clip like the one above, it’s usually pretty great. And it’s not only great because of the gags within the video itself (raise your hand if you were shocked that saucy Latina little league lady declined the bribe, dec chance it’s only because she was confused on the exchange rate since it wasn’t in pesos), but also because this plan is actually brilliant. All everyone cares about today is the “Do it for the Vine” or Instagram likes mentality, you’re telling me some 15-year-old kids wouldn’t spend their money on Barstool merch so they can throw up Viva hand signs on Twitter for RTs on a bottle of booze they can get when they’re 21 and a legit photo they can use to show off to their other idiot friends on social media? That sounds like a million dollar industry and any million dollar industry that exists just to siphon money out of idiot kids before they become idiot adults, I’m all on board with.

 

As a public service, below are two of the other best clips from the show to help you decide if you want to see more (for the record, this is not an ad though I’ll gladly take some of that Viacom cash if they want to sling some this way, don’t tell Pres). The caricature one is pretty great and gets wildly racist at points which I’m sure we all appreciate. The one with the kid is equally good, probably because the kid is slightly developmentally disabled but who knows, hard to tell with seven-year-olds.

 

 

 

Barstool U Smokeshow of the Day – Cheyenne from Coastal Carolina

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbarstool-u-smokeshow-of-the-day-cheyenne-from-coastal-carolina%2F
Jul 235:45PM EST

 

 

Introducing Cheyenne from Coastal Carolina.  Can always count on Coastal to give us a mid week boost with a blazer.

Wiz Khalifa – Stayin Out All Night

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fwiz-khalifa-stayin-out-all-night%2F
Jul 234:45PM EST

wiz-khalifa

Wiz Khalifa has just been spewing out Blacc Hollywood tracks left and right these days. In his latest offering, “Stayin Out all Night,” Wiz slows things down, raps about getting fucked up (because duh, what else does he talk about) and is obviously trying to make this one “No Sleep” part 2.

 

 

Bro Takes Drunkest, Best Uber Ride Ever

http%3A%2F%2Fbarstoolu.barstoolsports.com%2Frandom-thoughts%2Fbro-takes-best-drunkest-uber-ride-ever%2F
Jul 234:25PM EST

Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 4.19.04 PM

 

Reddit

uhcougars1151 – After a night of fairly heavy drinking, I woke up to find I took a very unnecessary cab ride… Thank you Uber for rubbing it in my face with the detailed map….

 

 

 

 

I’ll tell you what.  I would party with uhcougars any day of the fucking week.  Friday night.  Tuesday night.  Sunday day.  Any time.   Anybody that goes this hard and gets this blacked to the point they need to take an Uber because they don’t recognize they are 10 feet away from their apartment is alright in my book.  Never change Cougars, never change.

 

 

 

 

 

h/t Independent